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Weird Girl

I Can't Feel Anything

Sarah’s POV:
We got there an hour before the show started, most of which was spent watching them set everything up and talking to random people that were there early for some reason. I was quite far away from the stage even though Cassie and I were going to watch from the front row. I had managed to get a beer already, thank god. I found myself getting bored and impatient as more people showed up, I had seen Courtney a couple times, she seemed upset but then again she always did. I made my way to the front stage with Cassie, who looked bored without her other half, which by the way is Jimmy, not me obviously.

When the show started you could hear the crowed roar and everyone went crazy. I moved to the music that felt heavy on my chest and euphoric to my ears. Holy shit I thought, they’re actually good. Matt was screaming and singing the lyrics to a song that was called Chapter Four. I found myself head banging with the rest of the people in the crowd.

Far away in this land I must go,
out of the sight of the One.
A punishment sent from His hand
a hardship that no one should know
Now go out of the sight of the One,
away in this land you must go.



I had to admit they were all really talented, you could tell they were playing from their hearts, nothing needed to be forced. Matt was screaming and his face turned red from the strain, the veins in his neck bulged out. Brian and Zack seemed to play every riff with ease, which in itself was surreal. Cassie seemed to having a good time, she was grinning and bragging to random people about how her boyfriend’s the drummer. In the middle of the 3rd song Matt had glanced down at us, we made eye contact for a moment before he walked to the other side of the stage, smirking as he walked away. I felt my stomach knot up when he looked at me, he could’ve been looking at someone else but his eyes felt like acid and his smirk felt like a burn.

By the time the concert was over I was beyond ready to get drunk, I was never good with feelings, whether they were good or bad, I’m used to the numbness. I got to the party in Matt’s car with Matt, Cassie, and Jimmy. The rest of the band and whatever other people that needed a ride went in their van. It felt weird, I still didn’t know any of them that well besides Jimmy. It was kind of awkward sitting next to Matt as he drove, thank god he wasn’t one of those people that forced me to talk, Jimmy however, was.
“So Matt, where’s the witch?” Jimmy asked, Matt sighed at his question.
“It doesn’t matter, and don’t call my girlfriend a witch.” He smirked. The ride to wherever the party was at wasn’t long so most of it was filled with small talk I wasn’t involved in with Metallica as the background noise. Matt commented on my hair and how it looked different but managed to do so without complimenting me or flirting, which was better for the both of us.

When I got to the party I went straight to the alcohol, the party was at an apartment of this guy named Jason, who I had never met before but I wasn’t above drinking his whiskey. No one notices me at these things anyway so I filled half the cup with whiskey and went out to the small balcony, luckily there was no one out there since they could all just smoke inside. There was only two chairs and a small table with an ashtray on it. I sat down, placing my cup on the table and lighting a cigarette. I inhaled the smoke, savoring the feeling of the poison infusing itself into my lungs.

I was comfortable in the silence, letting my thoughts consume me. I thought about jumping off the balcony, wondering if it would kill me or just break my legs, both would be more interesting than what I was doing. I decided that I probably wasn’t going to jump but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t sit on the edge. I slung my leg over the railing, which actually was thick enough for me to sit on without falling, I brought my other leg over and sat on the edge comfortably, slouching slightly. The sun was almost completely gone, the orange of the sunset was gone and now it was just a darker blue.

I heard the sliding glass door open behind me, I was surprised I that I didn’t get startled and fall to my doom right there, but I listened to see whether they’d go back inside when they realized someone was already out hear.
“Are you trying to fucking fall 2 stories?!” I heard Matt say behind me. Oh right, this isn’t socially acceptable.I thought. I looked back at him, he looked irritated and confused.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m perfectly stable.” I sighed, bringing my other leg over to stabilize myself a little more. He sat down at one of the chairs, pulling out a cigarette.
“Do you have a light?” He asked. I nodded, pulling out my white bic lighter and lighting his cigarette for him. He took a drag, looking at the ground. I lit another cigarette as well, I’ve been smoking a lot more lately.
“I know you think I’m strange.” I said, bringing the cigarette to my lips and inhaling the smoke. “Which isn’t really an insult, but you always seem uncomfortable when I’m around, which I guess I can understand since this awkward silence seems to follow me wherever I go.” I felt myself talking too much so I stopped. He seemed surprised.
“Sorry Sarah, I just never really thought you liked me at all.” He said, taking a drag.
“I wasn’t upset, I get it I mean, it’s not like I’m the friendliest person in the world.” I sighed, taking another drag.
“No I meant, you just always seem upset.” He told me. I looked at him for second and studied his face, he had eyeliner on but it was smudged and almost gone from the show, his face was serious but softened when I looked at him. I got off the railing and grabbed my cup, drinking the rest of my whiskey. My head felt fuzzy but it made me feel better.
“I’m not upset, I can’t feel anything anymore.” I mumbled, subconsciously putting out my cigarette on the back of my hand to prove a point. His eyes widened at me, I had a blank expression on my face, I honestly didn’t care anymore, even about what he thought of me.

Matt’s POV:
This girl was crazy, she was a mindfuck, who puts out there cigarette on their hand? She looked completely unfazed, like nothing could hurt her. She flicked the rest of her cigarette off of the balcony. When I looked into her dead eyes I realized that she probably would’ve jumped off the balcony if I hadn’t come out.
“Okay that’s it, I’m taking you home.”

Sarah’s POV:
“Okay that’s it, I’m taking you home.” He said, grabbing my hand as he opened the door.
“No,” I snapped, pulling my arm away. “I don’t wanna leave yet, I haven’t even taken any drugs.” I said, crossing my arms.
“Ugh I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He sighed, I was confused for a second until he lifted me up, placing me over his shoulder and walking inside.
“Put me down!” I yelled, he was holding on to my legs, keeping me from kicking him.
“Oh hey Matt, hey Sarah, I see you two are getting along.” I heard Jimmy laugh.
“Jimmy get him to put me down!” I yelled.
“I’m doing this for her own good.” He said to Jimmy, I groaned. We went out the front door, I was kind of flailing.
“Matthew! Put. Me. Down.” I said.
“Nope, I’m getting you home before you snort whatever you can get and inflict more bodily harm to yourself.” He stated. I sighed, but I knew he was right, it was actually kind of sweet that he actually cared, but why?
“Ugh this is so lame.” I sighed, I had stopped fighting.
“Why ‘cause I’m right?” He asked, I could hear him smirking.
“Fine I’ll go with you, just put me down.” I sighed. He put me down, we were already at his car, he unlocked the door and we got in. I sat in the passenger seat, leaning against the window. He started the car, pulling out of the driveway.
“You didn’t need to do that, I can take care of myself.” I said, biting on my lip.
“It’s okay, that’s what friends are for.” He smiled, showing his dimples. I checked the time on my phone, it was a little past 1. I was tired and kind of drunk but I didn’t want to go home, it was just sad there. My eyes felt heavy so I closed them.

I felt a hand shaking my shoulder softly.
“Sarah?” I heard Matt say, I opened my eyes quickly when I realized I was still in his car.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I said, rubbing my eyes.
“It’s okay,” He smirked. “But we’re here.” He cleared his throat.
“Thanks Matt, I owe you one.” I smiled tiredly. He gave me a side hug before I left, kissing me on the forehead. I felt myself blush, hopefully he couldn’t see.
“Goodnight Sarah.” He smiled.
“Night.” I said, getting out of his car, waiting until he left to get up to my room. I was never good with feelings, I was used to the numbness, it was better this way. I wouldn’t let him ruin all the time I spent building up walls.

Notes

Comment? :3 so glad you guys are liking the story ^_^

Comments

Love the update

ShadzMistress ShadzMistress
12/12/14

@A7XFoREVer6661
Thanks so much!!! I'm so glad you guys like it ^_^ <3

Harley Quinn Harley Quinn
10/17/14

YAY UPDATES! :'D I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY! Great Job okay? And don't second guess yourself! Go with your gut c: it always seems to work that way (: Thanks for updating! Can't wait for the next! ^-^

A7XFoREVer6661 A7XFoREVer6661
10/16/14

Good bc I really do!!! XD

mrsmshadz mrsmshadz
10/16/14

@mrsmshadz
Awwh ^_^ that made me smile lol <3

Harley Quinn Harley Quinn
10/16/14