…This is your last chance, Jimmy. Don’t blow it…

Jimmy was woken up by that sentence echoing in his brain, scared he might still be trapped inside his mind again. He tried to open his eyes slowly and sighed quietly in relief when he accomplished. No, he wasn’t trapped. He was really back. It wasn’t just a dream. And he realized there were two people talking quietly in front of his bed. One was Emily and the other he wasn’t able to figure out, but he was wearing a lab coat and his voice was a bit known to his ears so he guessed he was his doctor. He tried to listen a little:

“…we still have to wait for him to wake up to make some more tests but just by what you’re saying here, you can consider it a miracle. He showed no signs of recovery so far and now you said he was talking and thinking clearly last night, I have to be honest with you… I’m impressed.” The doc glanced quickly to Jimmy and back to Emily, who couldn’t hide her surprise either.

“Yeah, it’s incredible. He was talking about burgers and pizza and…” she stopped her words before she would say something she shouldn’t, as she started to think about the lovely time they shared last night. “…and said he felt painful. His muscles, I mean.” She diverted from her thoughts.

“Yeah, he’s gonna need physiotherapy to be able to have all his functions back, he should start as soon as possible. So right now we need to take one step at the time, we will run a few tests and see what we can do next. But we couldn’t have better news.” The doctor nodded with an assured smile.

Jimmy thought that as the great time to show them he woke up. He just wanted to know when he would be able to get out of there, in fact.

“I guess I’m… ready for those tests now.” Jimmy whispered and both Emily and the doctor came walking quickly closer to him.

“Hey mr. Sullivan, welcome back!” the doctor promptly took his lantern off his pocket and analyzed his pupils response to light as Emily smiled to him and held his hand, taking all his attention to her. “How are you feeling today?”

“Alive.” He answered with a jokingly tone despite of his weak voice, still glancing at Emily. “But my body and my throat hurts.” Now he looked serious at the doctor, who kept checking all his body, asking to hold his hand, press his feet, raise his leg and arm.

“We’ll see what we can do about that, but I think you know we can’t really give you any pain meds, right?” now he was checking his heart, looked at his monitor and frowned. Then noted something on his file, something he didn’t tell out loud.

“Yeah, I know…” Jimmy pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. He had to ruin his moment of joy by bringing that up.

“Alright… apparently, it’s all good with you, sir. I’m gonna run some heart and blood tests and I’ll come back later to check on you. Oh and… I can’t send you a burger now but maybe a lovingly hospital-tasting soup?” the doc smirked charmingly, tapped Jimmy’s shoulder lightly and shook Emily’s hand before leaving.

“Yeah… soup is better than nothing…” he answered just for Emily, a little cranky. “Hey babe… g’morning!” then he replaced his cranky mood for a lovely grin to her.

“Hey… are you good, comfortable?”

“No, not really… When can I go home?”

“You heard the man. They still have to check you up, Jim.”

“I’m fine, I told you I couldn’t be better. As he said, I’m a miracle.” He smirked and she shook her head with a smile.

“Staying in bed for that long made you cocky, huh?”

“Yeah… and the fact that you’re gonna have to help me take a bath too.” He didn’t let his smirk disappear from his lips and she took a deep breath, remembering the talk she should have with him.

“Look… Jimmy, I know you’ve just woken up but… I think we should talk about what happened, you know… last night.”

“We shouldn’t talk about it, we should do it again.” he naughty smiled.

“C’mon Jim… it’s serious. You still remember everything we went through before, right?” her face grew darker so did his. He only nodded. “The last thing we need now is to go through that again. Last night was good but… I really think it’s best for us to be friends from now on. What do you think?” she was very unsure with her words, she didn’t know what would be his response.

Emily went straight to the point and Jimmy felt it coming at the moment he said he still loved her but she didn’t say it back last night. But it didn’t really hurt or crushed his heart as he thought it would not to hear it from her. Maybe their relationship would work better at friendship state right now, he thought for a moment. Or maybe they would have to learn how to love each other again with time. Either one was good for him for now. They had all the time in the world to figure it out.

“I think you’re right. We shouldn’t rush anything. We have time now.” He felt a little disappointed for some reason but didn’t let it show.

“Yeah, we definitely have time. And right now we should be worried about your recovery. I was here until now and I’ll always be here, Jimmy, for anything. I wanna help you through this and no matter what, I’ll be here.” She kissed his forehead softly and pecked his lips lingeringly before pulling out.

It made his heart race and they both heard the monitor biping with a chuckle. After all, he couldn’t really hide his love for her, it was physically visible. But he was rational enough to agree with her with taking things slower this time. And Emily was so thankful and relieved he was able to see that.

Jimmy’s breakfast arrived and Emily helped him eat the fruits and the things he liked, putting him in on everything that was going on in the lives of his friends. Then she looked at the clock, she had to go before his family would arrive.

“Jim, I’m sorry but… they already called your family to tell you’re awake and… I think you don’t know this but… I can’t really stay here.”

“I have something in my mind about that but it’s all so confused. Why?”

“I think your parents hate me and they don’t want me around you. I don’t really blame them, I’d do the same after everything they heard about me.” Her eyes dropped to the floor in shame.

“They might think whatever they want but now that I’m awake, they can’t forbid you to see me, Ems. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to them.”

“No, Jimmy, don’t. I don’t want trouble right now. I rather go, and come back later when they are not here.”

“Shit… I don’t think I’m ready to face everybody alone… now. Can’t you just stay?”

“No, cause if I do I might risk the person’s job that allowed me to get in and I don’t want that. But I promise I’ll come back at night and then you tell me how it went, okay? And don’t worry, they won’t be here all at the same, you’ll have time to rest.”

“Alright…” he sounded upset.

Emily kissed him on the cheek this time, took her stuff and left straight to Zack’s house. She needed to tell them the good news personally.

---

I was inside the bus to Zack’s house when the doubt started to rise. Should I be the one to tell him the news? Should I call him? How will it be his response? Is he… gonna pick up at all after seeing my number? Will another woman pick up?

I hated to hear his disappointed voice in my ear. I wanted his lovingly whispers, I wanted to hear him saying he loves me but I know I wouldn’t this time. And never again, I would.
I just pressed the speed dial without thinking more. I was tapping my fingers in my knee in anxiety as I waited and then I heard him picking up, but not really saying anything. A shiver went down my spine when the silence between us was too much to bear.

“Hey.” I could finally start, not really sure how to but doing it anyway.

“What do you want?” after his dry sentence, he sniffed. By the low sound of his voice, he was probably sleeping. I could only gulp after the coldness I felt from his words.

“I’m calling just to… tell you that… he woke up last night. He’s talking, thinking and totally conscious again. He’s back, Bri!” My grin probably audible by saying that.
I heard him breathe once and I was regretting that call already if he wasn’t talking to me but then he answered:

“Really? That’s… That’s great.” Brian didn’t show the amount of excitement I was expecting on his voice but… yeah, it was something at least.

“You should go see him.” He took a long moment to answer again. I think he wasn’t prepared for all of that yet.

“I don’t know, I’m gonna think about it.” He stayed in silence for a while. “But thanks for letting me know.”

“How are you doing?” I pretended he wasn’t trying to blow me off.

“I’m fine, Emily. Is that all? Cause I gotta go now.” Now he was clearly sending me away.
“Yeah, it’s all I wanted to hear.” I curved my mouth in sadness and I made sure he could hear it.

“Okay. Bye.”

“B…” the line went dead before I could say anything else.

---

When Emily left, the first ones to come see me were my parents. My mom couldn’t stop crying and smiling at the same time, I hated when she cried for me but I guess they were good tears this time. My dad was the same as always, obviously happy to see me awake again but he knew somehow I wasn’t very satisfied with something. He kept observing me.

“What’s bothering you son? Do you need something? Do you want me to call the nurse?” he asked finally as my mom frowned with worry and held my hand stronger.

“No, no I’m okay. I just… I just don’t understand why you forbid my girlfriend to see me here.”

“Matt told us everything she did to you, dear. She shouldn’t be around you anymore, for your own sake.” My mom took the lead in the talking this time and I knew this was her thing. I had to control myself not to start yelling. Well… in fact, I couldn’t even speak properly, yell was far from my reach.

“Look, mom, I don’t know what you heard from Matt or from the others. We all screwed up along the way, alright? It’s not her fault.”

“How can you say that? Matt said she was drowning you in… in that thing.”

Fuck! Why Matt have to distort everything always!?

“Mom, no one drowned anyone in anything. I’m a grown man, I’m responsible for my drug use. No one else is.” I never hid my taste for illegal substances to them but just by the faces they had now, I could almost tell they never knew. “Emily is clean now and so am I. You should try at least to get to know her first before you judge her.”

I watched them trading glances and I finally got rid of that lump in my throat by saying all I wanted.

“There are so many good girls out there... Why her?” she asked in a very dry and low tone, scaring me a lot.

I shook my head, not really sure if she wanted to hear the truth or not. But I would say it anyway.

“She’s my mirror, mom. I can’t see myself without her anymore. She came here and played guitar every night to me until I woke up. She’s not my girlfriend anymore, we are friends now and all I’m asking is that you go there and take her name out of the black list, please. She doesn’t deserve that treatment.” I said it all slowly not to get tired but still, it seemed like I had ran a marathon. I wasn’t even close of being the same.

“She was here and… you were listening?” apparently, she only heard what she wanted to.

“Yes and yes. And please… just do what I’m asking. She’s harmless, she’s one of the reasons I’m back here.” I confessed to them as a little kid and they got a little startled.

“Okay, son, we’ll do it. Don’t worry.” My dad answered this time and my mom simply stopped talking to stare at the ground until they had to go cause there were other people waiting downstairs to see me. Probably the guys.

They kissed me goodbye and left. I would certainly check if they fulfilled their promise later.
Then two more came in, this time it was Zack and Jess and their unstoppable blabbering about moving in together and how they would be throwing a party for me there when I get out. It was good to know they worked out.

Next were Jess’s friends, those lovely European chicks that are living in our neighborhood now. They surely brought my best mood back, especially when I recognized one of their voices. Mei didn’t tell out loud but I noticed she was the one visiting me regularly and bringing me music news and recent albums from new bands I never heard of. She has been very nice to me since we know each other a few months ago. Kim was just… too talkative. Well, maybe she was just too damn happy to see me.

Johnny and his wife came next and showed me pictures of little Amanda. The kid was beautifully reaching Johnny’s size already. She would definitely be an awesome drummer after Uncle Rev pass on all his knowledge ahead.
And I couldn’t wait for that to happen. To go back to my drums and kick the devil and the dust out of it.

Matt and Val came in a little too quiet for my taste. Before Emily, the only female friends I had were Val and her sister. They were the ones to watch out for me and that was weird cause I should be the one doing that. But anyway… talking to Val was easy. But I couldn’t really forgive Matt for meddling in my life and talking shit to my parents so I kinda gave him a cold shoulder. And he surely felt it when I told him Emily was here when I woke up. He didn’t see that coming, did he? Neither did Val… I could tell she got a little pissed off when she heard her name. Of course, Matt and his big mouth had set hell everywhere.

And when I finally figured out, it was getting dark outside. Emily would be coming back soon. But… wait, there’s something missing. Someone didn’t show up yet. And I had a lot to discuss with that someone so he better show his face here.

When Emily arrived again, I stopped thinking about him quickly. She came in with the most beautiful grin I’ve seen after that one when I woke up. And I knew why.

“Why’s my name clear downstairs, mr?”

“I pulled some strings.” One of my brows raised and she shook her head. “You can come by any time now.”

“Wow… you’re barely awake and… already fixing things. I like that attitude.” She kissed my hand and smiled again. God, her skin brought that kind of electricity to mine too often now. Her touch was better than before. “How was to see everybody for the first time… again?”

“Exhausting but… good, very good. I missed them a lot.”

“Did the doctor come back here to talk to you?”

“No, not really, they just made a few blood tests and a cardiac one. They told me I should wait for the results.”

She nodded and the phone rang for the tenth time that day. Again?
Emily picked up.

“Hey Pauline… oh, okay… I’ll tell him. Thanks, bye.” She turned off and I saw something through her eyes. Something that wasn’t there before.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Brian. He’s coming up.”

“I thought he wouldn’t come, that asshole.” I mumbled and watched Emily standing up from her chair and going towards the door swiftly. “Where are you going?”

“I’m… I’m gonna go after your… your doctor. I wanna know about your tests. I’ll be back.” And before I could even ask her to stay, she vanished in a hurry from the room.

She didn’t wanna see him or I was misinterpreting here? What was their situation anyway? I was dying to know the status of our hell-like triangle. In fact, I wasn’t dying, I was very alive this time.

A knock on the door and then Brian was coming in, as shy as ever.

“Hey man. I thought you had forgotten about me.” I started lighting up the mood cause I could sense our talk wouldn’t be the easiest one.

He approached me with a smirk and showed me his palm. Was he mocking me?

“Sorry bro… my arm doesn’t stretch that high now.” When I said that, he pulled his hand out a little ashamed and tapped my shoulder instead. Well, he just didn’t know. “Hopefully the damn physiotherapy can make my muscles get back to normal.”

“Or maybe a session on your drums will do the job.” He sat by my side with a half-hearted smile, searching for something around the room. He was searching for her and when he didn’t found, he just went back to look at me. “So… how are you, man?”

“I’m great, really. Everybody should try staying on coma once in a while.” I tried to make a joke but he didn’t chuckle. He just pursed his lips.

I knew my friend, if I could still call him that. And I knew he was uncomfortable with something. Guilt maybe?

“Look… I don’t know if you heard the stuff I told you while you were out but… I should start with an apology here. You might think you were in that condition because of our fight that night and…”

“Gates, man, I know it wasn’t your fault. God, why is everybody trying to blame someone for this? It just happened, the doctor said it was probably my body protection mechanism. I wouldn’t fall unconscious because of one little punch, right?” I provoked.

“Little punch, huh? Are you saying I punch like a girl?” he finally got my joking mood and relaxed a little. “You wanna taste it again?” he caressed his knuckles, teasing me.

“No, no, I’m good.” We both chuckled this time and the joking mode disappeared little by little until we were both silent again. That awkward silence.

“Can I ask you something?” I dared.

“Of course.”

“Are you… and Emily together now?” I couldn’t ask her before but it seemed like I was reserving that question for him.

He frowned promptly and I knew the answer before he could say. For my relief.

“No, no, we… we’ve never been together. Why?”

“She told me she wants to be friends with me now. So I figured… she was with you.”
He raised his brows for a long period of time and nodded, like arranging his thoughts.

“What we had back there was just a fling. Stupid fling I would say. It should never had happened and I’m sorry we hurt you like that, man. I really do. I’d take it all back if I could.”

I listened to everything he said but… he never faced me, not once. His eyes were stuck on the ground. His voice was cold, emotionless, like he had rehearsed that text over and over to say it to me. But he didn’t know I listened to every word he said that day when he confessed his love for Emily to me. So I knew exactly when he was lying and when he was telling the truth and he was definitely lying now, with every fucking word he said.

“Really? A fling? Wow…” I pursed my lips in surprise and he nodded now looking at me. “I didn’t see that coming.”

“Yeah, so… now you know. If you’re ever planning to go back to her or… I dunno, you should know I won’t be in your way anymore.”

“Alright… as I said, we are just friends now. But we never know what the future holds for us, right?” I shrugged slightly and I saw sadness in his eyes. Deep sadness.

After everything he went through with her. Her detox. The way he said he was the better man for her than I was. The way he told me he loved her…
He would never give all his heart and time for her to simply give up now, it wasn’t like him, I’ve never seen him giving up anything. He was surely backing out. But why?

“So… we’re all set about that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, definitely.” Brian assured but didn’t convince me at all. “So…are we good? No hard feelings?” he showed his hand again, this time for me to shake it.

I looked deep inside his eyes and decided to grab it. I had a second chance, he deserves one too, I guess.

“No hard feelings, man. It’s all past now.” I completed and my dinner arrived so he said he had to go.

After a few minutes, Emily was back and she was too quiet helping me with the food. I knew she wanted to ask about my talk with Brian. But why wasn’t she asking? Something clearly happened between those two while I was out and I had to find out what it was about.

Notes

Named the chapter for you, Mei! =p hahaha hope I was able to mend your heart a little.

Jim is so freakin happy and positive on this chap... it's weird! hahaha well, everybody changes huh? (or not... *evil laugh*)

and whats up with Bri huh? Chicken out? =/

show me ur opinions <3