I felt Brian rubbing my back as I cried so hard on his shoulder. The things he needs to know will change everything and every way he feels about me.

"Baby it's okay." he cooed in my ear. He pushed me back and looked into my red and puffed eyes and wiped away the tears that stained my cheeks.

"No...it's not okay Brian." I said calming my tears long enough to speak.

"Baby...I heard what you said in the kitchen with Matt and Lee. Believe me honey I know we've all been a little too over-protective but we all care about you and I love you so much. I don't want to see you hurting anymore."

"Brian that's not the reason...not the only reason." I said getting out of his lap and walking over to the door where I shut and locked it. I needed all the time I could get with Brian without any interruptions.

"What's going on baby?"

"Everything I told you on our date was only the half of it. Yes I do miss my mother and I hate my father for him abandoning me for another family and I hate Roe for treating me as bad as he did but there's things...things I never told my mother. Things I never told Lee..." I said looking down as I pressed my back against the door.

"What is it? You can tell me anything."

"My mom never thought anything of it when she seen the bruises on me...I always told her that I fell or rolled out of my bed." I said looking down at the floor.

"Baby? Did your father do something else besides ignore you?"

"He used to touch...touch me inappropriately before she died in that damn car accident. She would be lying in the next room sleeping from a long day at work...and he would come to me....If I didn't do what he asked me to do, he would beat me and force me to do things to him. If I tried to stop him...he would rape me so roughly and brutally to the point where I just wanted to die underneath him. There had been several times after, that I would try and end it all but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted so badly to end it there. I wanted to write a note to my mother that she would find and tell her why I did it so she could get rid of him...Now here I am. I don't have a mother anymore...I never had father, no other siblings, I almost get my best friend killed because of a psychotic ex-boyfriend...I'm battered and bruised and my fucking face is messed up from what I caused...Roe was right when he said that Lee's blood is on my hands. Brian...if I would have stayed in Arizona...Lee would be perfectly fine and so would I. Everything that happened was my fault." I explained letting for tears of saddness filled with anger flow down my face like a running faucet. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and I looked up into Brian's eyes.

"What your father did was inexcusable. He violated you in a way a father shouldn't do and I'm sure if your mother found a note saying why you took your own life, she would be very upset and probably killed him herself with her bare hands. If he was still alive I would. Baby...Roe is the guilty one. You don't need to blame yourself for what happened to Lee or you. Roe was this lunatic who didn't want to let go of you. Please baby don't ever blame yourself. I'm sure if Lee knew what you just said to me, she would tell you the exact same thing I'm telling you. Roxy...I love you no matter what happened in your past or what that ass hat did to you. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my whole life. Your personality makes you beautiful and so specal to me...not your past. Nothing you've told me changes how I feel about you. I still love you Roxy and I'll always be here." A smile faintly curled onto my lips as Brian looked me dead in the eyes with so much sincerity and love. I knew from looking into those chocolate brown eyes of his that he was telling me the complete truth. He kissed my forehead and pulled me against his chest while humming to me.

"Can you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be in bed alone." I asked clutching to his shirt. He looked down and nodded at me before leading me to the bed where he crawled in and held his hand out for me. I took it and he pulled me over into his chest and wrapped the blanket around me. I listened to the sound of his heartbeat and knew I would always be safe with him. I never want to be separated from him and I don't ever want to let him go. I closed my tired eyes as he held me closely and I fell right off to sleep.

Notes

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