I was released from the hospital almost a week later and sitting here in my house with the guys coming over every day and Lee looking after me isn't something I enjoy at all. I don't like the feeling of being watched like an untrusted juvenile. When the guys are over, they want me resting and not hardly lifting a finger since the ordeal with Roe but I can't help but so things for myself. I was never the person to let other people do things for me and I'm not about to start now. It's not like I'm handicapped to the point where I need someone attending to my every beck and call. Ever since I came home, my mother has been on my mind a lot and I just need to go to the cemetery and see her. It's been a long time since I've actually went there and it's about time I did. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand beside me bed seeing it was a little after 10 at night.

I could hear Lee downstairs watching and laughing at the TV with the guys and right now I just want to be alone with my mother. I pulled myself out of bed and walked carefully over to the closet where I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom and changed. I came out and laid my pajamas down on the bed before slipping my shoes on and grabbing my phone and slipping it into the pocket of my jeans. I was still sore after everything so I really did need to take it slow but I need to go and see her and no one is coming with me. I opened my bedroom door after making sure I had everything and slowly desended the stairs. The closer I got to the living room, the more clearer their voices got. They were talking about something but right now I just had one thing on my mind. I peered into the living room and Lee was the first one to see me and I motioned her over.

"I'll be right back." She said getting up from her spot between Matt and Johnny and coming over to me in the hall.

"Why are you out of bed?"

"Lee, I need to go and see my mother...alone." I said looking back into the living room where their eyes were still glued to the TV.

"You know the guys won't let you go by yourself."

"If they try and stop me...they ain't going to like the attitude that I'll have." I said calmly and she looked at me and smiled.

"I see you have your good attitude back." I smiled and shook my head before passing by her I could feel her right behind me as I went into the kitchen.

"When are you going to see your mother?"

"Right now." I said grabbing my keys and slipping them into my pocket.

"Can you at least let me drive you?"

"Drive where?" I looked over and seen Matt standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I just need to get out of the house Matt." I said twirling my keys around my finger.

"Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter." I said shaking my head.

"Yes it does Roxy. What if something happens to you and we don't know where you are?"

"Nothing is going to happen! Will everyone in this fucking house just quit fucking treating me like I'm some adolescent child that doesn't know any better?!" I yelled before pushing passed Matt and heading for the front door.

"Roxy!" I stopped as I opened the door but didn't look over my shoulder.

"Look...I'm sorry. None of us want you to get hurt like you did."

"I know you don't...just leave me alone for a while." I said leaving the house and shutting the door behind me. I looked at my car and decided just to walk to the cemetery. It wasn't a long walk from the house and I sure could use the time to think and the exercise as well.

I walked down my driveway and down the road towards the cemetery. I really shouldn't have blown up like that at Matt. I know he's just trying to make sure I'm alright but he's a tad bit over-protective now. I know he means no harm but I'm just sick and tired of it. I continued to walk until I seen the iron gates of the cemetery and I went in. I found my mother's grave easily and sat down in front of the headstone just staring at it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MATT'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watched as she walked out the front door shutting the door behind her and I couldn't help but feel bad about me being how I am. She's a really good friend and Brian's girl and I would really consider her as a daughter more than anything and I know Skylar sees her as his big sister.

"Don't worry Matt...She just needs some time to deal with everything."

"I know...I think I've went overboard with making sure she's alright." I said honestly.

"We all have Matt. Roxy is the kind of person who doesn't show her true feelings. She keeps everything so bottled up inside until she explodes."

"She does?" I asked unknowingly.

"Yes. I've experienced her anger in full swing. She can get violent and not remember what she's done."

"I never knew." I said shocked.

"I didn't either until I seen what she did to a guy in Arizona."

"What did she do?" I asked following her into the kitchen. I grabbed myself a beer and sat down next to her at the table.

"It's a long story."

"We have time and I would really like to know." I said drinking some of the beer.

"There was this punk in our class who thought he could talk about anything and get away with it because his family was rich. Well one day Roxy happened to walk into the shop when this guy was making fun of people who have Breast Cancer. With everything that happened with her mother dying of Breast Cancer, she just snapped. She grabbed him by the collar and pushed him against one of the large Craftsman's toolboxes and told him if he makes one more joke about people with cancer she was going to beat the living shit out of him."

"What happened then?" I asked in curiousity.

"Let's just say...he let his mouth write too many checks he couldn't cash and was transported to the hospital with a concussion. She had slammed his head into the metal toolbox repeatedly until one of the instructors pulled her off of him."

"What happened to this punk?" I asked looking at her in disbelief.

"He left the school without pressing any charges against her. I had taken a video of the incident just in case he would have and showed the instructor so she wouldn't be kicked out for that kind of violence."

"Wow...that's unbelieveable. How could something like that come out of her?" I asked still in shock.

"No one really knows. The counselors there tried to get her to go and talk to a shrink but she wouldn't go. She just told them that she needed to release the anger on the right person who needed a good ass kicking and then left. She doesn't like to talk about personal feelings. I guess she's just afraid that she'll get hurt like she has all her life but sometimes I wonder if she has something else to hide but I won't question in. She's the only real friend I've had in years and I don't want to screw it up." I nodded and finished my beer. Now I was really worried about Roxy. What if she explodes again and the next time be on someone she doesn't intend to hurt?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ROXY'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat there as the night was getting later and I have yet to say anything to my mother. What can I say?

"Hey mom...I'm sorry I haven't been coming to visit you even though I was meaning too. A lot has happened...Just recently a boyfriend I left in Arizona because I was tired of him beating me...came for me. He threatened me for weeks and almost ruined the house you spent most of your life working so hard to get but luckily everything he did wasn't so bad...except for taking Lee. Lee is my best friend mom and I didn't want anyhting to happen to her but ti's all my fault...Lee was hurt because of me and I blame myself for every wound he placed upon her. I wish I could take it all back...but I just can't. Her blood is on my hands and...I just don't know what to do. It seems like everyone I get close to gets hurt in some way or another. Either by me and my uncontrolable anger or someone who is a bigger prick and just likes to see people suffer. What am I supposed to do?" I said letting tears clearly escape my eyes. All this shit bottled inside me makes me just not want to be here any longer.

I wish mom was here so she could tell me what I could do to change myself and my actions so I won't be this horrible person. I stood to my feet and placed my hand on the cold stone and the wind blew softly causing me to get chills in the cemetery. I pushed the hair out of my face and walked away from her. I closed the iron gates as I left the cemetery and taking one last look back at my mother's grave. I hung my head and slipped my hands into my pockets and I started back to my home. I looked up into the moonlit sky as it started to cloud up and rumbles of thunder could be heard off into the distance. I always hated thunderstorms so I quickened my pace until I got to my driveway. I looked into the living room window seeing the guys sitting around talking with Lee. I sighed and went to the door letting myself back in and making an appearance in the doorway where their gazes came upon me.

"Roxy? Are you okay?" Lee asked and I fell to my knees in a crying fit. I felt arms go around me and pull me up off the floor. I knew it wasn't Lee and the person who held me smelled like Brian.

"I'm going to take her to her room." Brian said as I clung to him for dear life as I cried. There's just too much shit on my mind and I think Brian needs to know.

Notes

comments?

What are your thoughts on what she's going to tell Brian?