Ghost
It's A Hard Decision
It's been a full month and I've been able to go back to investigating with Angel and Jase. It's been a real blast to get back into homes and help people with my gift. Some people liked the news and others were totally...I don't really know the right word. Maybe disgusted? Who really knows? Brian and I are closer than ever but there's something he needs to know before this relationship takes that next level. There has been many times I've wanted Brian but I just can't do it. You see if I have sex with someone, I will lose my gift. I have to make sure that I am truly ready to make that kind of decision before I can. Brian seems a little frustrated but I know he wants to wait until I am completely ready. I think I just need to set him down tonight while everyone is gone and tell him the reason behind me not being ready. I just hope he understands.
I sat out on the front porch enjoying the sunny day while Brian and the others were at the studio and Angel and Jase were at the store getting some things to stock Brian's bare fridge with. They did offer me if I wanted to go but I just want to sit out here and think really hard on what I'm going to tell Brian tonight. I just hope he understands enough and not leave me like the rest of the people I have known. Angel and Jase pulled into the driveway and parked just in front of the porch.
"Care to help us carry this shit in?" Angel asked as she got out of the car. I nodded and met them at the back of our SUV and helpe unload all of the groceries into the house.
"Angel, what are you and Jase doing tonight?" I asked putting away the food.
"I don't think we're doing anything. Why do you ask?"
"There's something I need to tell Brian privately." I said putting the last of the meat into the fridge.
"Does this have anything to do with the sexual tension between the 2 of you."
"I guess you could say that. Angel, you know what would happen if I gave myself to him. My gift would disappear and I wouldn't be able to do any more contact investigations." I said sighing as I leaned against the counter.
"I know but what are you going to do if Brian doesn't want to wait for you to make the decision?"
"I guess we'll just go back to Tennessee unless you want to stay here and get close to Zacky." I said as I watched her finish putting her half of the groceries away.
"Why don't we just buy a house or get an apartment here in Huntington? That way if Brian doesn't accept the fact that this is a big decision, then you can live with me and Jase."
"I think that's a good idea." I said nodding.
"Alright because before Jase and I went to get the food, we went apartment hunting and found a really good one and put a deposit on it."
"If he doesn't want to wait on me, are we moving out tomorrow?" I asked and she nodded.
"I think it would be best. I mean I don't think you would want to live here after the talk. I mean if it goes wrong or something."
"I hate when you read my damn mind." I said laughing and she draped an arm around my shoulder.
"I know you do but I just can't help it sometimes. So where do you want Jase and I to disappear to while you talk to him?"
"Go anywhere and I'll text you and tell you how it went. I'm hoping to talk to him tonight after dinner." I said looking down at my phone.
"Alright. I'll go let Jase in on the plan." I nodded and she left the kitchen. There's got to be a way to break it easily to him that this is a hard thing for me to talk about it but I really don't think there is an easy way to tell the person you love that you can't have sex with them. Maybe something will come into this crazy mind of mine.
I sat out on the front porch enjoying the sunny day while Brian and the others were at the studio and Angel and Jase were at the store getting some things to stock Brian's bare fridge with. They did offer me if I wanted to go but I just want to sit out here and think really hard on what I'm going to tell Brian tonight. I just hope he understands enough and not leave me like the rest of the people I have known. Angel and Jase pulled into the driveway and parked just in front of the porch.
"Care to help us carry this shit in?" Angel asked as she got out of the car. I nodded and met them at the back of our SUV and helpe unload all of the groceries into the house.
"Angel, what are you and Jase doing tonight?" I asked putting away the food.
"I don't think we're doing anything. Why do you ask?"
"There's something I need to tell Brian privately." I said putting the last of the meat into the fridge.
"Does this have anything to do with the sexual tension between the 2 of you."
"I guess you could say that. Angel, you know what would happen if I gave myself to him. My gift would disappear and I wouldn't be able to do any more contact investigations." I said sighing as I leaned against the counter.
"I know but what are you going to do if Brian doesn't want to wait for you to make the decision?"
"I guess we'll just go back to Tennessee unless you want to stay here and get close to Zacky." I said as I watched her finish putting her half of the groceries away.
"Why don't we just buy a house or get an apartment here in Huntington? That way if Brian doesn't accept the fact that this is a big decision, then you can live with me and Jase."
"I think that's a good idea." I said nodding.
"Alright because before Jase and I went to get the food, we went apartment hunting and found a really good one and put a deposit on it."
"If he doesn't want to wait on me, are we moving out tomorrow?" I asked and she nodded.
"I think it would be best. I mean I don't think you would want to live here after the talk. I mean if it goes wrong or something."
"I hate when you read my damn mind." I said laughing and she draped an arm around my shoulder.
"I know you do but I just can't help it sometimes. So where do you want Jase and I to disappear to while you talk to him?"
"Go anywhere and I'll text you and tell you how it went. I'm hoping to talk to him tonight after dinner." I said looking down at my phone.
"Alright. I'll go let Jase in on the plan." I nodded and she left the kitchen. There's got to be a way to break it easily to him that this is a hard thing for me to talk about it but I really don't think there is an easy way to tell the person you love that you can't have sex with them. Maybe something will come into this crazy mind of mine.
Aww. It's ok. I understand.
4/11/13