Ghost
Never Be The Same
I sat alone next to my mother in her hospital bed trying to figure out the best thing to do for her. She never discussed something like this to me..I hate this. I held her hand in mine and looked at her unconscious form.
"Mom...I don't know what you want me to do. I don't even know if you can hear me or not but I don't want to give up on you. Dad is gone and I don't want you to leave either...I can't handle that. Please just open you eyes...I'm not ready to let you go just yet." I said with silent tears flowing down my face. I knew when my father died mom was hurt by it and I know she wants to be back with him in another life but I don't want her to go. Am I being selfish? I looked up at her lifeless form and I watched her eyes flicker.
"Mom?" I said smiling and I watched as her eyes opened completely and looked at me. She reached up to my face and wiped away my tears.
"The doctors thought you wouldn't wake up." I said and I was happy that she porved these damn doctors wrong. She motioned for a pad and pen that was on the table beside her and I handed it to her. She began to write and then she showed me what she written.
Nix...I'm not here for long. I've seen your father and I'm ready to be with him. You need to let me go.
"What? Why? I can't do that mom...It will never be the same without you." I sadi with my smile fading. She began writing again.
Baby, it's my time to go home. You know I can't be with you forever and I know it won't be the same but you are strong. It's time for you to be on your own...Now all you have to learn is how to say goodbye. I will always love you Nix.
She held my hand tightly and her eyes began to close.
"No mom please don't give up." I said crying my eyes out. I left her grip on my hand losen and then the monitor flatline. I laid my head on her hand and balled my eyes out as a nurse shut off the machine and pronounced her time of death. The nurse left me alone with my dead mother and I looked up at her. I sighed deeply before placing her hands on her stomach and fixing her hair how she liked it. I heard the door opened and I looked over at Brian. He came over to me after looking at my mom and hugged me.
"She's gone, Brian..." I said quietly.
"Mom...I don't know what you want me to do. I don't even know if you can hear me or not but I don't want to give up on you. Dad is gone and I don't want you to leave either...I can't handle that. Please just open you eyes...I'm not ready to let you go just yet." I said with silent tears flowing down my face. I knew when my father died mom was hurt by it and I know she wants to be back with him in another life but I don't want her to go. Am I being selfish? I looked up at her lifeless form and I watched her eyes flicker.
"Mom?" I said smiling and I watched as her eyes opened completely and looked at me. She reached up to my face and wiped away my tears.
"The doctors thought you wouldn't wake up." I said and I was happy that she porved these damn doctors wrong. She motioned for a pad and pen that was on the table beside her and I handed it to her. She began to write and then she showed me what she written.
Nix...I'm not here for long. I've seen your father and I'm ready to be with him. You need to let me go.
"What? Why? I can't do that mom...It will never be the same without you." I sadi with my smile fading. She began writing again.
Baby, it's my time to go home. You know I can't be with you forever and I know it won't be the same but you are strong. It's time for you to be on your own...Now all you have to learn is how to say goodbye. I will always love you Nix.
She held my hand tightly and her eyes began to close.
"No mom please don't give up." I said crying my eyes out. I left her grip on my hand losen and then the monitor flatline. I laid my head on her hand and balled my eyes out as a nurse shut off the machine and pronounced her time of death. The nurse left me alone with my dead mother and I looked up at her. I sighed deeply before placing her hands on her stomach and fixing her hair how she liked it. I heard the door opened and I looked over at Brian. He came over to me after looking at my mom and hugged me.
"She's gone, Brian..." I said quietly.
Aww. It's ok. I understand.
4/11/13