Desire of the Soul

Ana’s POV

Life is just moments, moments which fade away as quickly as they appear. My life was exactly the same. In one second I was the happiest person in the world, and in the other it could end just like that without a warning. I can’t describe my feelings, because I haven’t thought about the future that much…
I haven’t thought about how intense the pain had been which engulfed my whole body and actually I didn’t think about that my life that could come to an end, the moments fade away and never again any new one’s would appear.
My only thought was that I wanted/ needed to protect my heart, because I knew that it’s not just about me, if it were so – it wouldn’t matter- but my heart was important for someone else, for someone who was more important than my life itself.
I was just thinking about him, about my Brian. He was my heart, so if my heart will stop beating, his heart would stop beating as well and this was the last thing I ever wanted.
So the last thing that was on my mind, the last thing that I remember was his perfect face, his amazing chocolate brown eyes looking at his beautiful smile which always made me happy, too.
The last feelings I remember, are the feelings which accompanied me to the end was just sadness, because I knew that this was probably the last time that I saw him and the fact that I was forced to leave him yet again.

I felt how the tears started to fall on my cheeks and I think that that was the reason why I woke up. Something was different, it felt strange. My mind was fuzzy, I still remembered when I had opened my eyes for first time here at the hospital and I remember everything what happened after that.
I didn’t know how Brian was, why they were all here, what had really happened. But why?I felt so confused.

I wake up and it felt like the first time after this terrible accident, I think like it had happened yesterday, and all those other memories from the past days just felt like I was dreaming.
Or was that was only a dream?
I need to remember, I should concentrate on everything. Jus step by step…
But it must be true, or was it not?! It’s felt too real to not be true.
Did I really lost my memories and did I really forget about Brian?! How could I..?
Oh, only to think about him and I needed to see him and feel him next to me.
I need him, “Brian”, I whispered involuntarily.
I opened my eyes again. And suddenly I saw his face, ohh how had I missed his face so damn much!
I raised my hand to cover his cheek when I realized that I still had an Infusion plugged into my arm. He looked at me a little confused, but with a small smile on his lips. I couldn’t resist and I just leaned a little forward to connect my lips with his. I started to kiss him furiously as if that was my last chance or maybe I was just scared that I will forget about him again or another nightmare would happen?!

At first he seemed shocked and didn’t respond my kiss but after a few more second he put one of his hands on my neck and the other one on my cheek to join into my desperate kiss.
When I felt his tongue looking for mine I calmed down and let mine slowly dance with his and feel everything deeper even more intense now I wanted to keep it in my memories forever, to never again let this leave my mind.
“Oh baby, you are here” I said after we ended our kiss.
My last thought was as Ana Haner-to be that I had lost him forever, so I still couldn’t believe that he was next to me and I was a little worried that this all was some kind of dream again.
“Of course I am here, always.” , he said and looked deeply in my eyes.
“I was so scared that I’ll never see you again” I started to cry, at first because all this memories of the accident came back and then I cried even harder because I was happy to have him back.
“Me too…” he started , “Wait! Are you… Do you remember me?!” he asked loudly.
“I think so..” he looked questioningly at me
“Oh, I have so many thoughts on my head right now! I am so confused… My accident wasn’t yesterday, right?” I asked at first. He nodded, okay so this is true.
“I lost my memories and forget who you all were? And everybody was here, telling me stories about the last year to help me get back my memories?”
He nodded again “Oh so it’s really true!”
“True? What is true? Ana, What do you mean?” Brian looked as confused as I felt.
“When I woke up a few minutes ago I started to think that this all happened yesterday, but I had a lot of different memories on my mind and I couldn’t decide which are ture and real which was only a dream...” I said but I didn’t know if he understood what I meant.
“That means.. That means that your memories are back?!” Brian nearly screamed and grinned at me.
“It seems so yes…” I said with smile.
His eyes were filled with tears, “I nearly died a thousand times! Never do something like that again, Ana!” he said and hugged me tight.
My body protested and I felt pain, but I didn’t mind. I have Brian in my arms, that was all I needed! I can touch him, and I knew that he is real!
“I can’t stand to lose you again from my mind. I’m so scared that when I wake up the next time, that I will forget everything, again. I’m so scared, Brian!” I whispered between my sobs.
“Sssshhhh”, he kissed my lips slowly, “You’ll be alright, I promise you. Your memories are back and I don’t let them leave your pretty little head again. Please, don’t cry baby, it will break my heart!”
Suddenly the doors opened and Jimmy walked inside, behind him Romy and the rest of the guys. “Annie! You woke up! How are you feeling today?!” he asked me.
I smiled at him and raised my hand at him.
He looked at me and next at Brian, and at me again. Brian kissed my forehead again and again and I stroked his shoulder.
“Hey.. You..?!” I nodded before he could finish his sentence.
He jumped closer to me and embraced me, “Oh, Welcome back! We were missing you!”, he said and everyone started to hug me, too. I winced because it reminded me that I still had some recovery before me from that accident.
“Hey Annie, do you remember everything now?!Also that you ran away in front of the altar?!” Jimmy said and everybody started to laugh and Brian elbowed him in the side.

Notes

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