Desire of the Soul

Ana’s POV

“Please, can you all go out? I need to talk to her in private.” The doctor had turned to the Avenged guys and girls.
“I won’t leave her side, I am not going anywhere! I will stay here!” Syn Gates said. Wow, Syn is really here… Amazing, and he wanted to stay…
All the guys went out, only my mom stayed, she was sitting next to me now holding my hand. The doctor grabbed Syn’s arm and went out with him.

Brian’s POV

Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! I can’t believe it! I was waiting for her to finally wake up and now she is awake but she doesn’t remember me?!
God, why?!
“What’s is going on?!” I asked the doctor when we were outside.
“Listen, she had lost her memories. It seems that she only remembers everything that happened before 3 years. All the recent memories are temporarily lost. She doesn’t know you as her fiancé, because in her world now, you do not exist in her life. She only knows you as a fan, I guess.”
What?! Nooooo!
“But, she will regain her memories, right?! When will that be?” I couldn’t believe this!
“We really don’t know. We need to do some more test, we need to investigate her first. It could be a short-term memories loss or long-term. It means that maybe she regains memories tomorrow or in a week or two. But it is still possible that she will never remember these past 3 years.”
I feel dizzy. I need to sit down. She will never remember me? She doesn’t know that she loves me? That I love her? We can’t be together?! She must believe me! She must remember our time together!
“Can I do anything?!” I askedhim hopeful, there must be something we could do.
“At this moment, no. The best idea would be to talk to her but please remember she is still weak and needs a lot of rest so don’t overdo. Maybe tell her some stories and show her some photos that could be a way to remind her or at least she might believe you about your past, but I can’t promise anything…”
We went back to Ana’s room.
“Mrs. Evans, we need to talk. You lost your memories of the last 3 years. Anda lot of things have changed during these time. I know it is hard to believe…Let us start right her, this is your fiancé. You should talk to him and maybe you will regain your memories but don’t be afraid if that doesn’t happen in the next hour or day, that can take some time. You still need to rest and have a long recovery before you. And there is also one more thing. The Baby, I guess that you didn’t know that you were pregnant.”
Ana looked at the doctor with eyes wide open, oh shit she had so much to listen to and to take in at once, I felt so bad for her…But what could I do to make this easier for her? I don’t know! I felt so helpless…
“Pregnant?!” she asked, and her mom looked at me shocked. Damn it, I forgot to tell her as well. The doctor nodded at them.
“No.. I can’t be pregnant… I don’t even had..”
I knew what she meant. She never had sex after this asshole Larry.
“We also need to do another USG to see if child is still alive. I am very sorry to tell you this but the chance was only 50/50 that the child survived.”
“What?! But, I can’t be pregnant” Ana yelled. And it broke my heart to see her like this.
“But it’s true, we could become parents, if the child is alright...” I tried to sooth her.
“We?!” she asked me and looked confused again.
“Yes.. We.. you and me.” As soon as I said it she started to cry and my heart stopped.
“Don’t cry baby, please. Damn it, doc what I can do? She won’t believe me like this” I didn’t know what to do. I saw how Ana’s mom embraced her, I wanted to be the one holding her soothing her, but I knew that I would only make it worst.
I need to do something to show her what happened during the last year. That we were happy together. I went out and saw the guys standing next to the door and looking at me.
“And?!” Jimmy looked hopeful.
“She doesn’t remember anything. She thinks that she is still a student. She doesn’t know us!”
“Oh damn.. this can’t be true..” Jimmy shook his head in denial.
“I need your help, all of your help…” I said and looked at everyone.
“ We have to do something to show her that we know her and that she know us. I thought that maybe we can talk with her and show her photos or something”.
“I will drive home and get all the photos from our laptop together… you all do the same, we will meet here tomorrow morning, we should at least give her this night to rest, and then we will introduce her to us… again! Don’t worry Brian, maybe she forgot about you, but she could never forget about me..!” Jimmy clapped me on the shoulder and I shoved him.. I had to smile at that, idiot.
“Okay, then let’s go.”

Jimmy’s POV

I was at my home flipping through all the pictures I had on my laptop and I put them all into one file. Oh there were a lot of funny ones, we needed all… all what we had…
My phone buzzed and I looked at it and smiled, my girl calling.
“Hey Am-Babe, you alright?”
“Hey Jimmy, yes I am fine… I’m there in 5 min. and I got all the pictures you wanted from Ana and me… should we also show her some from the Bachelor-Party? Because I made a few when we started.. but I don’t know if that is a good idea…”
“Oh babe, you are awesome, we take everything, these will be the last we show her… Can’t wait to see you, babe..”
“Open the door, I am here.” She hung up and I walked over to my door.
There she stood my beautiful girl Amanda. I was so glad that I had found her that we were together and that was also Ana’s doing. And she couldn’t even remember me or what she had did for us…
We needed to get her memories back the sooner the better…

Matt’s POV

“VALLL?? Where are the pictures from our wedding?”
“Are you kidding me? Everywhere… !” Val screamed back at me.
“Oh Val.. I know that, but I meant on the computer… we are preparing a kinda slide-show for Ana at the hospital…”
“Ohhh okay… wait I come up, we pick them together… Oh there are so many beautiful pictures from her and Brian and I think even a video from Brian’s speech where he invited everybody to their wedding… you know?! Where he announced that Ana had said yes to his proposal…”
“Oh that would be awesome, then let’s have a look and put everything together.”
My phone buzzed, “What’s up Johnny?”
“Hey Matt.. Lacey found some pictures from our first party together… Brian and Ana had left early but there are a few of her and Jimmy and well her and Brian, should we send them via Mail to you?”
“Yes, great. Send them over and we will meet back at 9 in the hospital… we could again tell her the story of Brian you know.. he once fingered a girl..” I started
“…Hahaha.. yeah she died… Oh yeah, we should tell her that one again…” Johnny laughed loudly.
“Okay Christ, then we see us tomorrow. Bye”
“Okay Bye.”

Zacky’s POV

“What do you mean? You won’t come back to the hospital?” I looked at Romy questioningly.
“I meant it, like I said it. She don’t wanna see me… so I won’t be going to the hospital again.” Romy replied sadly.
“You can’t be serious… I mean… you really can’t be serious… She has to see you to remember you. She is your best friend, babe… Look at all those pictures from you and her… She loves you and you love her… I won’t accept a no Romy!” I stood my part. She will be going even if I have to carry her on my shoulder to the hospital, I would!
“Zacky, I know you just want the best and I am really glad that you were here for me the past days but you have no right to decide anything for me… And I don’t want to hear again that she hates me, okay? I couldn’t stand it… Happy now?”
“Romy, please. I am there for you, always. Matt will be there, Jimmy and Amanda will be there, we are all there, showing her pictures telling her stories… she will remember and then if you won’t be there.. you would regret it, babe. Please believe me…”
Damn it, how much I still wanted to tell her so much more, that I loved her that I still wanted to be with her, that I not just want to be a good friend for her… that I needed her completely.
But I couldn’t and I shouldn’t… she doesn’t see me that way anymore… she doesn’t love me anymore…

Romy’s POV

“Okay, I will go and I will try my best not to break down and cry if she doesn’t want to see me… but I can’t promise anything…”
“That’s my girl…” Zacky grabbed me in a tight hug and we sat back down on my table to sort through the pictures we had of our parties and other events.
“Ohhh there, look the pictures from the concert you two were, where Ana was singing ‘Dear God’, that we have to take… let’s try to find a video on youtube, maybe we can show her that, that would be amazing…”
I looked over at Zack and we were sitting so close that our noses nearly touching. I held my breath, would he kiss me?! Would he make the first move?!
I had wished during these last days we had spent together so much that he would make a move but it looks like he really had closed the chapter ‘Relationship’ with me and opened a new one with ‘Friendship’ written in big fucking letters.
But my feelings for him had never changed, I loved him still so much. But I couldn’t tell him that couldn’t risk my heart to be broken by him… again…!

On the next days we were all sitting next to Ana’s bed it doesn’t matter for us if she was awake or sleeping, and we didn’t give Ana much of a choice she had to watch to every picture, listen to every story from the past year we had to tell her…
At some she actually laughed or she was amazed by the concert video and she had tears in her eyes when she saw Brian announce that they would get married… but she remember nothing…
But we would try again, and again… as long as it would take!

Notes

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