Tough
Treatment
I've been up and walking around regaining my strength for the past 3 days and tomorrow I'll be starting my first treatment. My last time I will ever get to see my hair until I'm cancer free but I have a plan to do with my hair when it gets longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I opened my eyes and seen I was in the same room in before the doctor and Melissa come to take me to Operation Room. The door opened and Melissa walked into the room with my family right behind her.
"Guys I thought I told you to go back to recording?" I said looking at them.
"We are. We just took a break to come and see you." Jimmy came over and hugged me.
"Guys I have to get her started on the treatment." Melissa said while Jimmy backed away from me. Melissa stuck an IV int my arm.
"Tomorrow morning your hair will start falling out. We'll shave your head and put whatever you parents bring you."
"Way ahead of you. Here's one of bandanna's." Matt said handing it to me. I smiled and I could feel nothing different except a sick feeling deep in my stomach.
"Am I supposed to be feeling sick?" I asked.
"Yeah that's normal. I'll give you something for that." I watched as she stuck a needle into the IV which made me very sleepy. I fell asleep seconds later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today is my last treatment and my second day of having no hair. I really missed my hair and I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. When my hair came out in chunks and Melissa helped me put the bandanna on. I'll be getting out of here as soon as this treatment is over with and I can't wait. I've been in this hospital for far too long for my liking. My treatment just finished an hour ago and with no side effects, I'm clear to go home. I can't wait to get back home and be in my own bed. Val has been on the phone with someone for past 3 days and I can tell she something up her sleeve but I haven't been able to figure it out. Val signed the release papers and helped me out of bed and into the bathroom so I could change. While I've been here, Melissa gave me a prosthetic so I can look like the surgery never happened. She even showed me how to put it on with the specially made bra that hooks in the front so I don't have to reach around.
I came out of the bathroom and walked down the hallways. Nurses that first seen me here smiled at me as I walked out of the hospital. I was brought in on a stretcher when I first got here and now I'm able to walk out of here.
"Remember no heavy lifting for a while, no showers, and no getting into the pool."
"I know Melissa." I said smiling.
"Just making sure. I'll see you next month on the 12th to how you're coming along."
"See you then." I said hugging her.
"Take care of yourself." I nodded and got into Val's car and we made our way back home. We pulled into the driveway and I seen all of the guys cars. I'll be so happy to see them again. Val cut off the car and we got out making our way to the door. I couldn't hear anything from the inside and that was really strange. Val opened the door and we walked in and still there wasn't a sound. I walked ahead of Val and into the living room where all the guys jumped out.
"Surprise!" I looked up and see a huge welcome home banner.
"Welcome home Raelyx." I looked behind me and Jo was standing there. I couldn't stop the tears from falling out of my eyes as she came over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me as tight as I could handle.
"I've missed you Raelyx."
"I've missed you too." I said hugging her once more.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm still a little sore from the surgery but other than that, I'm just fine." I said smiling.
"Good to hear." She placed her hand on my shoulder.
"Come on Jo, don't hog her all to yourself! We some things for her!" Jimmy said and we walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Jimmy excitedly handed me a box.
"Open it!" I shook my head and opened the box and found a huge plush duck named Stallion and I could help but laugh.
"I love it Jimmy." I said hugging him. Johnny got me an Ipod touch with all of my favorite songs on them plus a $300 Itunes gift card. Brian got me a fedora with skulls over them and they happened to look just like him. It also had the words, I'm a synner on the back. Matt and Val had gotten me all the guitar heroes and a blanket that had the breast cancer emblem on it along with a deathbat and it said I'm a survivor. Nothing can beat me. I loved it so much.
"Here's mine. I know it's not huge but it comes from the heart." I opened the little box Zacky handed me and I was in shock. I pulled out the diamond studded deathbat necklace.
"Zacky it's beautiful!" I said smiling.
"Read the inscription." I turned over the necklace.
"Vengeance lurks in the Shadows of Syn where Christ can't reach you but the Plague will get you." I read out loud. I smiled at Zacky and hugged him tightly.
"Zacky I love it so much. Thanks everyone for all this." I said smiling
"We have one more gift."
"We want to do something to honor you with your survival. We've asked our manager and checked with all the bands that will be touring with us this year and every cent from the ticket sales plus donations the fans can give will go towards breast cancer research." Matt said smiling.
"Guys that's awesome!" I hugged him tightly around his neck. The rest of the day we grilled out and I caught up with Jo. Every now and then I would catch Zacky staring at me with a huge smile on his face. I couldn't help not to smile back.
"I know you're not going to like this but Raelyx I have to get going back to Arkansas."
"As much as I don't want you to go, I know you have to. I really enjoyed today." I said smiling as I walked her to her car.
"I enjoyed today too. You take care of yourself."
"I will." I said as she drove down the road. I miss her already. I walked back into the house as the guys gathered up my things and took them upstairs. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge and popped the top. I sat down at the bar sipping lightly on the drink. Today was really a good day.
"Hey Rae." I turned to Zacky propped on the door frame.
"Hey. I thought you went to bed like the other." I said turning to face him.
"I don't feel much like going to sleep."
"Me either." I said looking down at the floor. Zacky went over to the fridge grabbing a water bottle. He sat down beside me at the bar in silence. The only sound was the clock ticking on the wall.
"So."
"What?" I asked.
"I don't know." I couldn't help but laugh. I shook me head and took a gulp of my soda. The carbonation stinging my throat.
"So how was your day?"
"Better than most. What about yours?" I asked looking over at him then back to my drink as I spun in slowly with my hands.
"It was better."
"That's good." I said smiling. We sat there again in silence with only the ticking of the clock.
"I think I'll try and get some sleep."
"Alright. Goodnight Zacky." I said smiling. Zacky hugged me and kissed my cheek before leaving the room. I could every footstep her took as he went up the stairs and then the sound of his door shutting lightly. The darkness surrounded me as I sipped on my drink.
My thoughts of losing a breast and knowing no man is ever going to want me, cam flowing back. I need someone who'll love me unconditionally. Someone who won't look at me like a boob-less person but a woman who is fighting for her life. Someone who'll make me feel good when I'm having the shittiest of days. Where the hell am I supposed to find someone like that? I finished my drink and threw it away before walking upstairs and into my room. I laid down on my bed in the darkness. I'll never find someone nice, caring, and won't look at me like a freak. I closed my eyes and drifted slowly to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I opened my eyes and seen I was in the same room in before the doctor and Melissa come to take me to Operation Room. The door opened and Melissa walked into the room with my family right behind her.
"Guys I thought I told you to go back to recording?" I said looking at them.
"We are. We just took a break to come and see you." Jimmy came over and hugged me.
"Guys I have to get her started on the treatment." Melissa said while Jimmy backed away from me. Melissa stuck an IV int my arm.
"Tomorrow morning your hair will start falling out. We'll shave your head and put whatever you parents bring you."
"Way ahead of you. Here's one of bandanna's." Matt said handing it to me. I smiled and I could feel nothing different except a sick feeling deep in my stomach.
"Am I supposed to be feeling sick?" I asked.
"Yeah that's normal. I'll give you something for that." I watched as she stuck a needle into the IV which made me very sleepy. I fell asleep seconds later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today is my last treatment and my second day of having no hair. I really missed my hair and I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. When my hair came out in chunks and Melissa helped me put the bandanna on. I'll be getting out of here as soon as this treatment is over with and I can't wait. I've been in this hospital for far too long for my liking. My treatment just finished an hour ago and with no side effects, I'm clear to go home. I can't wait to get back home and be in my own bed. Val has been on the phone with someone for past 3 days and I can tell she something up her sleeve but I haven't been able to figure it out. Val signed the release papers and helped me out of bed and into the bathroom so I could change. While I've been here, Melissa gave me a prosthetic so I can look like the surgery never happened. She even showed me how to put it on with the specially made bra that hooks in the front so I don't have to reach around.
I came out of the bathroom and walked down the hallways. Nurses that first seen me here smiled at me as I walked out of the hospital. I was brought in on a stretcher when I first got here and now I'm able to walk out of here.
"Remember no heavy lifting for a while, no showers, and no getting into the pool."
"I know Melissa." I said smiling.
"Just making sure. I'll see you next month on the 12th to how you're coming along."
"See you then." I said hugging her.
"Take care of yourself." I nodded and got into Val's car and we made our way back home. We pulled into the driveway and I seen all of the guys cars. I'll be so happy to see them again. Val cut off the car and we got out making our way to the door. I couldn't hear anything from the inside and that was really strange. Val opened the door and we walked in and still there wasn't a sound. I walked ahead of Val and into the living room where all the guys jumped out.
"Surprise!" I looked up and see a huge welcome home banner.
"Welcome home Raelyx." I looked behind me and Jo was standing there. I couldn't stop the tears from falling out of my eyes as she came over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me as tight as I could handle.
"I've missed you Raelyx."
"I've missed you too." I said hugging her once more.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm still a little sore from the surgery but other than that, I'm just fine." I said smiling.
"Good to hear." She placed her hand on my shoulder.
"Come on Jo, don't hog her all to yourself! We some things for her!" Jimmy said and we walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Jimmy excitedly handed me a box.
"Open it!" I shook my head and opened the box and found a huge plush duck named Stallion and I could help but laugh.
"I love it Jimmy." I said hugging him. Johnny got me an Ipod touch with all of my favorite songs on them plus a $300 Itunes gift card. Brian got me a fedora with skulls over them and they happened to look just like him. It also had the words, I'm a synner on the back. Matt and Val had gotten me all the guitar heroes and a blanket that had the breast cancer emblem on it along with a deathbat and it said I'm a survivor. Nothing can beat me. I loved it so much.
"Here's mine. I know it's not huge but it comes from the heart." I opened the little box Zacky handed me and I was in shock. I pulled out the diamond studded deathbat necklace.
"Zacky it's beautiful!" I said smiling.
"Read the inscription." I turned over the necklace.
"Vengeance lurks in the Shadows of Syn where Christ can't reach you but the Plague will get you." I read out loud. I smiled at Zacky and hugged him tightly.
"Zacky I love it so much. Thanks everyone for all this." I said smiling
"We have one more gift."
"We want to do something to honor you with your survival. We've asked our manager and checked with all the bands that will be touring with us this year and every cent from the ticket sales plus donations the fans can give will go towards breast cancer research." Matt said smiling.
"Guys that's awesome!" I hugged him tightly around his neck. The rest of the day we grilled out and I caught up with Jo. Every now and then I would catch Zacky staring at me with a huge smile on his face. I couldn't help not to smile back.
"I know you're not going to like this but Raelyx I have to get going back to Arkansas."
"As much as I don't want you to go, I know you have to. I really enjoyed today." I said smiling as I walked her to her car.
"I enjoyed today too. You take care of yourself."
"I will." I said as she drove down the road. I miss her already. I walked back into the house as the guys gathered up my things and took them upstairs. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge and popped the top. I sat down at the bar sipping lightly on the drink. Today was really a good day.
"Hey Rae." I turned to Zacky propped on the door frame.
"Hey. I thought you went to bed like the other." I said turning to face him.
"I don't feel much like going to sleep."
"Me either." I said looking down at the floor. Zacky went over to the fridge grabbing a water bottle. He sat down beside me at the bar in silence. The only sound was the clock ticking on the wall.
"So."
"What?" I asked.
"I don't know." I couldn't help but laugh. I shook me head and took a gulp of my soda. The carbonation stinging my throat.
"So how was your day?"
"Better than most. What about yours?" I asked looking over at him then back to my drink as I spun in slowly with my hands.
"It was better."
"That's good." I said smiling. We sat there again in silence with only the ticking of the clock.
"I think I'll try and get some sleep."
"Alright. Goodnight Zacky." I said smiling. Zacky hugged me and kissed my cheek before leaving the room. I could every footstep her took as he went up the stairs and then the sound of his door shutting lightly. The darkness surrounded me as I sipped on my drink.
My thoughts of losing a breast and knowing no man is ever going to want me, cam flowing back. I need someone who'll love me unconditionally. Someone who won't look at me like a boob-less person but a woman who is fighting for her life. Someone who'll make me feel good when I'm having the shittiest of days. Where the hell am I supposed to find someone like that? I finished my drink and threw it away before walking upstairs and into my room. I laid down on my bed in the darkness. I'll never find someone nice, caring, and won't look at me like a freak. I closed my eyes and drifted slowly to sleep.
lol! At least there are some funny people on here...I'll be updating all my stories again!
3/6/13