It's been 4 long months of treatment and I just recently came off a 3 day continuous treatment. Today Val and I leave to got to New York and surprise the guys but also their fans. My alarm woke me up at 9 in the morning so I could shower and make sure I had everything I needed for tonight's show. I finished up my shower and changed into my clothes. I made sure my clothes were packed into my back pack and m window was locked tight. I walked downstairs where Val was unplugging the electronics in the living room.

"Good you're ready. Let's get going. We don't want to miss our flight." I nodded and Val grabbed her bag from the floor and we went to the airport. It wasn't really a long drive. It was about the same driving distance as the hospital. Once we got to the airport, it seemed like forever to get through all the security crap but we made it and boarded our plane just in time.
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We arrived in New York 4 hours later and we took a cab to Madison Square Garden. We sat around with Jason Berry, the guys tech man. He was the only one in the group that knew about us coming.

"The guys will be here shortly. I'll take you to the other side of the stage where you'll be coming out."

"Thanks Jason." Val said as we left the room. Jason knew a few shortcuts to get around bands while they performed in case something needed to be brought on stage.

Val and I sat down on the other side of the stage watching that bands do their sound checks. I could see people flowing into the building and waiting for the concert to start. I loved listening to the bands that came on stage and how energetic the fans are. Jason came back over to me and handed me a microphone and I seen the guys come on stage.

"After they play Gunslinger they'll be informing the fans on you not being able to for the tour due to the treatments. When he says, Raelyx couldn't make it tonight' that's your cue to walk on stage."

"Thanks for the heads up." I said smiling. The guys began to play and Matt was so entertaining to watch. His singing is the best! Brian and Zacky would go crazy on their solos. Their song Gunslinger started and I made sure looked alright to go on stage.

"Honey you look fine." Val said re-assuring. I nodded as the guys finished the song.

"How the hell are you New York?" Matt yelled and the crowd went completely insane. I couldn't help but smile.

"As you all have read on our website, my daughter Raelyx was supposed to be here but unfortunately she has to take more treatments and she couldn't make it tonight." I walked out onto stage.

"I wouldn't miss these fans Shadows." I said and everyone looked at me.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were taking treatments?"

"It's already been done. I know you guys were disappointed that I couldn't come on tour in the beginning but I wouldn't miss the end for the world." I said smiling.

"Never a disappointment. This little girl has been through so much over the years of her life and for her to be so strong, it inspires me." I hugged Matt and the crowd awed.

"Yeah yeah...Shads keep this shit rocking!" I yelled and walked off stage as they started another song. Val hugged me and went to their dressing room to wait for the to finish their set-list. The door opened shortly after we arrived in the room and Jimmy ran over to me and picking me up in a bone crushing hug.

"I missed you too Jimmy but...could you let me go. You're cutting off my air supply." I said laughing as he set me back on my feet. We all sat there and they guys were asking me how the treatments went and they should know they go good with no harmful side affects. I looked over as the door opened to reveal a slinky little brunette.

"Christine!" Zacky said getting up and wrapping his arms around the small girl. He kissed her and my heart left like it ripped apart. Of course...I knew he wouldn't want a freak...he wants a perfect girl.

"Excuse me." I said getting up and leaving the room. I missed my fucking chance! I can't stay here and be around Zacky. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Val.

~I want to go home.~

~I know. I just told Matt. He understands. I'll grabbed your stuff.~ Val.

The door opened and Val came out handing me my bag.

"Raelyx I'm sorry."

"Don't be...he doesn't want a freak...he wants a whole." I said and I walked away from Val. I could hear her footsteps behind me as we walked out of the building. Val and I caught a cab and we went back to the airport where we boarded our plane. I should have told Zacky months ago.

How could I let him fall from my grasp?? If I wasn't such a fucking freak I could have had him. Val fell asleep 10 minutes ago and I wanted to so bad to text Zacky but I knew he was probably fucking that bitch. I hate myself. I heard Val's phone vibrate inside her purse and I grabbed it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Val you're in very high voice today."

"It's Raelyx." I corrected laughing.

"Oh sorry. Is Val around?"

"She's sleeping. Is this about my blood results?" I asked.

"Yes. This time I check your blood and you are 100% cancer free. Congratulations."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes Raelyx."

"Thanks for the wonderful news." I said in a fake cheery voice.

"No problem but I want you to come back in 6 months for another test."

"Alright. I'll let Val know about the good news when she wakes up." I said smiling. I hung up the phone and put it back into her purse. I leaned my head against the glass of the window and watched the ground get closer and closer.

I nudged Val and told her we landed. We grabbed our bags and headed out of the airport and to Val's car. Val cranked it and let it warm up for a bit before we headed back home. The guys would be home in 3 days but I won't be here. I'm not with the one person I want and that moment we almost kissed must have been nothing to him. He probably just wanted a quick fuck. Val pulled up to the house and we got out and went in. I went straight to my room locking the door behind me and laying on my bed. Tears escaped from my eyes and I knew I couldn't be here and see Zacky hanging on that whore. I turned off my phone. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone....anymore.

Notes

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