Wills POV
( 4 days later )
I spent most of my weekend cooped up inside my bedroom smoking and sleeping, each day more melancholy than the next. I received several calls from Jimmy, Johnny and even Matt but i ignored each of them. My mind was either racing or sleeping, and the flood gates holding out the pain i used to endure so frequently now seized to exist, letting in fresh emotions.
Maybe this was all because of what happened at jimmy's, since then id seem to be a wreck and i don't know why. Ever since that moment we shared, i opened up a little piece of myself that stays hidden, like cutting into an old scar. I wasnt used to anyone calling me beautiful, and holding my hand, much less someone so interesting, so in-depth and unique. In that moment i thought i had someone in my life that showed a new source of happiness, i suppose i was wrong. From the moment we walked out of his house he made it very clear to me, he wanted nothing to do with it. He couldnt even look at me the whole way to my house, i was nothing to him and i should have known it from the start. We had only known each other for so long, and he was special. He was extremely good looking, talented and loved and i? I was just a self help case with no future. I feel ridiculous for ever thinking anything lingered in the gaps between us.

I rolled myself tighter into my covers, listening to the rain pelt my rooftop and the wind howl. The sound made me shiver, i wrapped myself a little tighter- but there was no use. It was 6:45 and sleep was pointless to even attempt. The only thing on my mind was ending my relentless pain. I felt as though i was the same girl as i was years ago, back when my life changed, back when i moved here. It all flooded back, that familiar hurt. The lack of presence of anyone id ever loved. I kept away from others until now, so they wouldnt hurt me because having someone ripped away from you that you need? There is nothing worse. Images of my dad laughing, and smiling played over in my head, they seemed to be the only memories i had clung onto because i wouldnt let myself forget such things. I kept telling myself he was a great man, he was happy and loving - but it couldnt be true. For if he was those things, he wouldnt leave his 12 year old daughter alone, knowing she had nothing - no one else. He wouldnt have left her questioning every single smile on his face, every single fight they had and every action she made. He wouldnt have left her to lay awake and tremble for hours, to never find relief or closure on why he had done it. Now im 16 and i still wake up in tears, i still cant listen to his favourite bands and i still cry when i wish i had his strong arms around me.
I cant believe i let a stupid kid bring back all these memories, why the fuck did Jimmy have to intrude on my life?



In the midst of my thought, i suddenly heard a sharp knock at the door! It had to be my aunt. I made my way to the door and unlocked it quickly, forgetting briefly about my pursuit of substance to numb myself. I opened it to see a face that i wasn't expecting. Syn was standing on my porch soaked by the pouring rain, his hair matted to his cheeks. He clutched his hands together nervously staring at me.
"What are you doing here?" i asked
"i came to check on you, and see why you fell of the face of the planet!" syn joked, his voice although trembling because of the cold. I let him in and wrapped him in the blanket that hung from my shoulders.
"really." i said once he was wrapped up and sitting on my couch. "why'd you come here." I held no amusement in my tone.
"I came to see why you suddenly disappeared, you wont answer phone calls and we havent seen you around at all Will"
"You guys hardly know me." i tried to contain a light element in my tone, but i came off harsh.
"i care about you." He stated. "jimmy cares about you more though." he chuckled, not looking at me.
I raised an eyebrow at him and stared into his eyes dead cold. I think he could tell what i meant by looking at me.
"He made a mistake will, he's a stupid guy sometimes."
"He made himself clear." I started to feel unwell, and i wanted him gone. I watched him tremble in nothing but his soaking wet T shirt and jeans.
"will, you dont know what you're talking about. He offended you and he made a mistake, he just didnt want to come off strongly."
I ignored what he had to say, and left him sitting there confused.
I came back a couple minutes later with a dry shirt.
"wear this" I tossed it to him, he accepted it and stripped his clothes right in front of me.
" i dont have any pants for you , sorry." i notioned for him to put them back on, as he had taken them off too. he laughed obnoxiously, and pulled them back up thanking me for the dry shirt.
A car suddenly honked loudly from outside of the house, i could hear muffled music being loudly blasted from the inside.

"whoops thats my ride, ill probably give your shirt back but maybe not. Just, take this." He handed me a pack of cigarettes from inside a plastic bag, it was surprisingly dry for how drenched syn was. I nodded in appreciation as he left the house.

I took the cigarettes with me back to my room and tossed them on my bed, cozying myself in dry covers when suddenly i realized the writing on the back of the pack, it was in black sharpy and very small letters. It read:

Dear Will, if you would still give me a chance, meet me at the park across from your house tomorrow at 4, if not i understand.
P.s. i was an idiot.

- Jimmy.

Notes

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