Chapter Sixty:

The morning after the incident, I felt more level-headed than I did before. No one pushed me to talk, so I didn’t. I feel like I’m walking on egg-shells. Yesterday… just pushed me over the edge. I don’t feel like I have any more to give to anything. My nerves are shot. I wouldn’t have slept, if not from the plethora of medications I’m on.

Despite not being cleared from the doctor yet, Doug has been insisting to take me to the gun range. He thinks that it’ll make me feel safer. I didn’t object, so we’re going.

---

The cool metal felt good in my hands. I squeezed the trigger and felt the kick from the gun as a bullet whizzed through the air in front of me. I let out of breath of relief when it hit my target, significantly closer to the bullseye than when I first started.

Doug has been coaching me and it’s getting a lot easier to focus. He’s insisting on taking me as often as possible.

“I want you to be prepared, should it come down to it.” He told me, quietly as he watched me shoot off another round.

“What if I can’t do it?” I asked him.

“If you practice enough, shooting will be second nature. It’ll be reflex.” He replied. I nodded. We went on practicing well into the afternoon.

---

The next couple of weeks were very much the same. We went to the range to practice and the guys went to school. After a while, we slowly got back into the swing of things. I’m still not exactly comfortable, and I think everyone else is picking up on it.

I can’t help it. I just can’t get comfortable, even in my own body. I know that I’m being paranoid, but I can’t help it. It feels like everywhere I go… there are eyes on me. I just can’t shake the feeling. I’ve felt this way before, but I can’t ever remember it being quite this bad. I have no idea how to explain it without someone assuming that I’m just crazy.

“Hey, you okay?” Zacky asked me as I stared at the TV. I jumped a little and turned to face him.

“Yeah,” I lied. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I retorted. He sat next to me and put his arm over my shoulders.

“You’ve been sitting here staring at the TV for the past hour.” He answered. I shrugged.

“A lot of people sit in the front of the TV.” I tried to brush off his suspicions. He gave me a quizzical look.

“The TV is off, Lyds.” He said, quietly. I frowned and really looked at the television screen. He’s right. It is off and it probably has been this whole time.

“I didn’t notice.” I thought, out loud.

“I’m worried about you.” He admitted, softly.

“Don’t worry about me.” I told him. He just sighed.

“Can’t a guy worry about his sister when she starts acting weird?” He asked me. I shrugged and then gave him a small, sad smile.

“You called me your sister.” I mused.

“You are my sister.” He shrugged.

“No, I mean, we’re not really…” I started to explain.

“Lydia, you’re my sister. If you ever think that you’re getting rid of the Baker family, you have another thing coming to ya. We don’t just let anyone stay with us. Yeah, I realize how that sounds, considering only two of the people who live here are related by blood. Dad loves you. We like having you around. You’re my sister – okay?” He confessed.

“Is this your way of saying that you love me?” I asked him, quietly, keeping the teasing tone in my voice light. He smiled and started to laugh.

“Yes. I love you. Now, will you stop freaking everyone out and talk about what’s bothering you?” He tried. It was my turn to shrug.

“I love you, too, Zacky.” I told him, leaning into his side. “I’m just worried. I don’t handle stress well and things just have me on edge. Maybe… if I keep expecting something to happen… it won’t.” I sighed.

“That’s no way to live.” He argued.

“Maybe not for everyone else, but I just can’t pretend like everything is fucking hunky dory. I just can’t. That’s not me. It never has been. My demented parentals are planning something and I have no idea what it is or when it’s going to happen. I’m freaked the fuck out, bro.”

“We’ll get you through this.” He promised me.

“You can’t promise me that. No one can make that kind of a promise.” I argued. “I don’t want you guys getting hurt because of me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. It’s not worth it. I brought all of this shit into everyone’s lives. You guys didn’t ask for a giant shit-storm.”

“Hey, stop. You don’t have to ask us to do anything. We have your back. That’s what real family does. You support you, even when things are bat-shit crazy. You can stress as much as you want, but never doubt that. We care about you.” He pressed. “And if there’s anyone that can get you through all this mess, it’s us. Don’t underestimate us.”

“I’d die if someone got hurt. I can’t have that on my conscience, Zack. I love you guys, too much.” I cried. He wrapped both arms around me and let me cry. It didn’t take me long to pull it together.

“Nothing you can say will make us leave you or kick you out.” Zacky assured me.

“He’s right, Sweetheart. Once you’re a part of our family, you’re in for life. You don’t have a choice in the matter.” Doug voiced from the entryway of the room. I chuckled. “Zachary is right. We have your back. And if anyone tries to hurt you, it’ll be the last thing that person will ever do. I’ll hear no more on the subject. Do you understand me?” He asked. I nodded, still sniffling.

“Yes.” I told him, trying to compose myself. He smiled.

“Good. Go clean up, you two. We’re going to dinner.”

Notes

Shit, I can't believe this is already at 60 chapters! It's crazy!! Some family bonding for you all. :)

Thank you for all of the feedback! <3

Thoughts? Comments?

Fucking love you guys,
Katie