Almost Easy

Chapter Fifty-Nine:

After the run-in with my crazy parentals at the mall, we called it a day and went back home. I didn’t say anything on the ride home or once we were home. I walked passed everyone and went to my bedroom and locked the door. I ignored them all as they knocked on my door and jiggled the doorknob. I don’t want to see anyone.

I locked myself in my bathroom and filled the tub with scalding, hot water. I plugged my iPod into my dock-station and cranked the volume, before I stripped out of my clothes and submerged myself under the scorching water. After a minute, I sat up and wiped the water from my face. My skin was burning, but I made no move to cool the water any. It’s nice to feel something other than fear.

You could be my someone – you could be my scene.
You know that I’ll protect you from all the obscene.
I wonder – what you’re doing.
I imagine where you are.
There’s oceans between us, but that’s not very far.

My body shook with sobs. I cried into my hands and tried to will all of my pain away. Every time I think that things are finally getting better, they do something to try and prevent it. I don’t understand how people like them function. I couldn’t live with myself if I conflicted pain on people like they do.

I hope that my threat to my father doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass. I meant it. I will do everything in my power to shoot him if he attacks me again. I know that he won’t stay away, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t try to sway his decision.

I don’t feel strong. I don’t feel like I can handle anything else happening. I just want to disappear. I want everything to be over. I want to go to sleep and sleep through all the horrible things and wake up when it’s all over.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I screamed. I grabbed the knife I keep next to my tub and I turned to see who it was. I saw Oliver sitting next to the tub, looking scared.

“Holland told us what happened.” He told me. For the first time, I noticed that my music had been turned off. Hot, new tears leaked from my eyes. He leaned over the edge of the tub and I clung to him. I buried my face in his chest and let everything out.

By the time I had cried myself out, the water was well beyond cold. My teeth were chattering as he helped me to my feet. He held a towel out for me and I wrapped it around myself.

“You should shower. You need to warm yourself up.” He suggested, quietly.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized, as my voice cracked. He shook his head.

“Don’t.” He told me.

“Why not?”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t need to.”

“You came to visit and so much crap has happened since you got here. I’m making you miss school and…” I started.

“Lyds,” he cut me off. “If I didn’t want to be here, I would have left before now.” He told me. I didn’t say anything. “Stop beating yourself up over this. Brian wanted to see you, but I asked him to give us some time. I didn’t know who you’d want to see.” He added. I nodded.

“He can come in.” I answered. He nodded and gestured to the shower.

“Go shower and I’ll send him in.” He assured me. I went to the shower and stepped inside, before closing the curtain. I tossed the towel over the curtain rod after I turned on the hot water. It didn’t take long before I could feel my blood circulating again. I didn’t stay in long. As soon as I was warm enough, I turned off the water and stepped out.

Brian was leaning against the counter. I toweled off and pulled on the clean clothes that one of the two must have put in the bathroom for me. They’re loose, comfortable clothes, including a pair of Zacky’s sweat pants.

I didn’t say anything, neither did he. He pulled me into his embrace and he just held me. We stayed that way for a few minutes, before leaving. He led me to my bed and we both laid down. I put my head on his chest and just listened to him breathe. It’s comforting to know that he’s here. Sometimes, that’s enough.

Notes

Music Credit:
"Blurry" -- Puddle of Mudd

Alright, this one is a bit shorter than last nights, but tomorrow's will be longer. Sorry this is a little late getting up! More things in store!

Thoughts? Comments?

Xo Xo
Katie