Nothing else matters

Jimmy’s POV

I looked at Brian, he was breaking down in front of me. He sat at his kitchen table and still held the letter in his hand. His fingers clenched and unclenched. He looked at me tears streaming down his face. I haven’t seen him like that… ever! I walked towards him and hugged him tight, “I promise you my brother. We will find her and we will bring her back to you.”
I said it, and I meant it. She cannot abandon him like that… she cannot abandon us all like that! She is family now Brian’s family and my family as well!
Whatever made her go, I will find the source and I will fuckin’ make them pay for this. Look at my best friend he is fucking devastate. I couldn’t leave him alone like that.
“Come on, Brian. Let us get over to the couch. Tell me exactly what you two talked about before you left. I need to know everything, every little detail. She is very sensible and maybe you didn’t even realize that something was wrong! Believe me brother, we will call the other and we will find her, no matter what!”
“Get me some alcohol Jimmy, and I mean not a beer I mean something strong. I need to fuckin’ numb me. Please…” Brian looked at me with still tears in his eyes.
I walked over to his bar section and took out a bottle of his whiskey. Well a drink or two wouldn’t hurt, would it?!
“Ok, here you go, but Brian, we need to focus, we need a plan. I will call the others to come over.”
“Do what you like. I need that bottle.” He took the bottle uncapped it and drank straight in big gulps.
I took my phone and called the other, they all agreed to be here in 30 minutes. That’s what friends are for.
I took the bottle from Brian and also drank a few gulps from the bottle. Damn that burns, but also feels so good.
“Give it back, Jimmy.” I looked at the bottle and it was already half empty from Brian.
So I took more and more and more... that only one last sip was in it. Brian had to stay focused even if I had to get drunk myself to ensure it.
“Damn you James, that was my last bottle.” Brian complained.
A few minutes later the doorbell rang and the first of our friends arrived.

Ana's POV

Another day without Brian was passing. These days were all the same. I don’t have the strength to live. How do I live without the one I love? How do I live without my heart, without the air that I am breathing?
Every day I was just sitting here and was thinking about him. How was he feeling? Had he moved on already? Does he hate me now as much as I hate myself?
I was crying all the time, but at some point I hadn't any tears left.
The worst moment was when I was alone, only with my memories.
And the nightmares came back; Kate tried to wake me up twice, I was rolling around in my bed and screaming loudly.
She didn't know what the reason was she thought this was about Brian.
"Ana, you must eat something",Kate tired it again. We had this discussion every day.
"Kate, I'm really not hungry. I already had dinner."
"What did you eat? An apple yesterday?"
She couldn't understand my behavior; she said that he is only a man, that I will find another. She wouldn’t understand that, he was the one. He was the love of my life. That I don’t want someone else and the one I wanted I couldn’t have.
My phone buzzed all the time. First Brian again Brian then Jimmy after Jimmy it was Romy, Zacky, Matt, Val even Johnny…
And this makes me feel even worse.
For the first time I had true friends, a family who cares for me and loves me.
And this all was over now. And this is my fault.
My mom called me, too. I had to answer to her at least.
I told her that I broke up with Brian why I didn’t tell her and I even begged her not to tell my dad anything and thank god she agreed.
She said that I could also come back home, but I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction.
I also told her not to tell Brian where he could find me, that it would be better if she didn’t open the door at all. Every passing day I thought about going back to Brian, to ask him to take me back. But I reminded myself that I made this decision for a concrete reason.
His life was more important than mine and I must learn to live with the hurt and everything will be good.
Damn it, Ana. You want try to lie yourself, you gotta do better than that.
I will never feel good again. But I have to take my life into my own hands again and I must try to find a job, I can't stay at Kate house any longer than necessary.
She told me that at her work they needed someone for the management office to help with organization of events. That was what I always want to do and it would be a good job to start with. I just will give it a try and called them and who would have thought I have a job interview next week.

Notes

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