The past few months of exercise and stupid shit and pain killers out the ass, I was beginning to heal but I still ad pain but hell I can live with just a little but not like 6 months ago. I thought I could handle the pain of exercising but I was wrong. The pain was excruciating and hard to deal with without the comfort of pain killers. I got all my stitches out and staples but my ribs are almost all the way healed. I went to the doctor to see how may ribs were coming along and they still needed a few more weeks. I was sitting on the couch while the guys were practicing downstairs. I loved to hear their music and I especially loved to hear Matt sing. Anyways, Michelle was at the store with the guys and I wasn't feeling very well. Damn asthma. The door opened and Michelle came in with an arm full of groceries.

"You need some help?" I asked.

"I'll get the guys to help me you keep resting."

"Oh come on. The guys are downstairs rehearsing. I'm just sitting here doing nothing." I said pouting and sticking out my bottom lip giving her the puppy dog look.

"Oh okay. Let's hurry and do this before the guys get back. I know they will bitch if they see you up walking around when you need to relax." I smiled and got up slowly. I never could go back to standing up how i used to because of my previous wound and the broken rubs I still have. I walked out the door with her and carried in the groceries. I slammed the door and I heard the basement door open and Jimmy came walking in.

"I thought Brian and Matt said you need to be relaxing?" Jimmy said raising his eyebrow.

"I know I know Jimmy but Michelle needed help with the groceries and it's a good way to handle weight by carrying things." I explained helping her put them away.

"I'll go tell the guys that you're back Chelle." Jimmy said and he walked out of the kitchen and back to the basement.

"I'll be back. Just finish putting the groceries away and leave the stuff that has to go in the top cabinets. I'll get them." Michelle said as I unloaded one of the bags.

"I can do it Michelle." I said and she smiled and left the kitchen. I put one of my knees on the edge of the counter to put a box of cereal on the top shelf. My knee slipped and ribs hit the edge. I sat down on the floor holding my ribs.

"GODDAMN IT!" I yelled. I heard the sound of rushing footsteps coming towards me. I lead my head back on the doors and closed my eyes.

"Oh my god! Aerial are you alright?" Zacky bent down to me. I shook my head yes and grabbed the top of the counter and attempted to pull myself up with one hand but failed. Zacky took my arm and helped me just as the rest of the guys and Michelle came into the kitchen.

"Zacky what happened?!" Brian shouted.

"I fell dad. I'm alright." I said fixing my shirt.

"You're supposed to be resting! I knew something like this would happen." Brian said throwing his hands into the air.

"It's my fault. I asked if Michelle if she needed any help with the groceries. She said now but I insisted on helping since you guys were rehearsing." I looked down at the floor holding my probably re-broken ribs. Matt came over to me and pulled my chin up so I had to look at him.

"We need to get your ribs checked out. I'll go call our doctor. Now come with me." Matt said putting his arm around my back and leading me into the living room. I laid down slowly because of the pain. Matt picked up his phone and dial the doctors number.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply but it hurt. I could only take in normal smooth breaths. I hated it. If my rubs were re-broken, I'm going to get hell from the guys. The doctor came over and checked out my ribs. He pressed down rather hard and I shot straight up holding my ribs. The guys were crowded around the couch. Matt and Brian each grabbed my hand as Zacky pet my head.

"Your ribs are not broken. They are just bruised very badly. So please take it easy for a week or 2. Boys and if she gives you any trouble, use force. It won't hurt her." the doctor said before getting up and leaving. The guys stood hovering over me in all directions.

"What?" I said slightly confused at why they were staring at me.

"You heard the doctor. You need to rest and take it easy. I hate to see you in pain." Brian said I rolled my eyes and thought to myself they haven't seen pain until they feel how I felt all those years ago.

"Alright I'll relax." They all smiled at me with shit eating grins. i just rolled my eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next few weeks were nothing but laying on the couch and watching TV. I kind of enjoyed yelling at Matt or Brian to get me things. After the weeks had passed I got up and started doing my own things. I was in the kitchen making breakfast when Brian walked in taking in the aroma.

"Smells so good."

"Thanks I thought I would make breakfast for everyone this morning. I mean you all have been a great help throughout the months I've been recovering." I said smiling. I was almost done with breakfast when Zacky came into the kitchen also smelling the atmosphere.

"Little sister that smells incredible." Zacky said hugging me from behind. I smiled and kissed his cheek and he sat down beside Brian. I finished breakfast and served all of them. I watched as they ate like they haven't ate in months. I was eating normally but I wasn't really into eating.

I don't know why it just felt like something wrong. I didn't want the guys to notice so I just kept on eating. The guys finished before me and I just felt like all my energy was drained. I got up and took there plates and did the dishes as they went to practice more songs. I put the dishes away and I started getting a feeling that something bad was going to happen. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. My cell began to ring. I looked and I didn't know who it was so I answered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Is this Aerial Raine?"

"Yes. May I ask who this is?" I asked with a puzzled look on my face.

"This is Heather Payne. I was just calling to inform you that somehow your uncle and all your brothers have died and you mother would love to see you. She's here in California and she really needs to see you."

"My mom? When does she give 2 shits about me?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"You're mom cares a lot about you sweetheart and I know. She doesn't quit talking about you. She tells me that she should have stopped your uncle and brothers from doing what they did to you. She was scared for her own life. She told your uncle that you ran away a long time ago but she gave you away because she couldn't bare to see you hurting anymore. Just please come and talk to her. I'll be there too."

"Alright. I'll meet her. Where?" I asked. I wrote down where I would be meeting her. I hung up the phone. On the inside, I didn't want to meet the bitch who wouldn't defend me against my uncle and brothers but on the inside wants to see her and get her explanation about what happened. I got up off the couch and went to take a shower and got dressed. The guys were sitting in the living room watching a movie when I walked through the room to leave.

"Where you going?" Brian asked.

"Out to see my mom." I said shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Don't you think it could be a trap? Maybe one of use should go with you." Brian said sitting on the edge about to get up.

"I need to see her alone. Please don't follow me." I said and walked out the front door. I began walking to the place my mom wanted to meet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ZACKY'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She walked out the door and that's when Brian spoke up.

"Jimmy, Zacky, Johnny. Go and follow her and make sure she's going to be alright." Brian said and we walked out the door. We found where she was and we stayed in the car. They hugged and sat down at the table outside. I wish I knew what they were saying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AERIAL'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hugged my mother and sit down at the little table outside the restaurant. I didn't know what to think when she was there.

"So Aerial...how you been?"

"Good I guess...I've fully recovered from the beating that uncle Ray and my brothers gave me in Georgia." I said reluctantly.

"Good. I was going to visit you but I knew if I did something would happen to me."

"Yeah I'm sure. All I want to know is why you wanted to see me." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Your uncle is dead and so are your brothers. I snuck out of the house and rigged it to where if any of them tried to leave, the house would burn up in flames. I killed them." She said looking down at her battered hands.

"You did that? Why?"

"I want a relationship with my only daughter. I want to make up for all those years they hurt you and I hurt you...I wish I could take it all back but I cant. I'm glad you finally are safe in a place where you are cared for. I just wish I could be there and actually be your mom. I'm a terrible mother and don't even deserve you to call me you mom." A tear rolled down her scarred face. I wiped it away with my thumb.

"You will always be my mom. I will always love you no matter what. I know you wish you could have stopped them from beating me and all that other shit but I know they would have killed you and then I would already be dead by now." I explained. She smiled and I smiled right back.

"I really appreciate you forgiving me. I'm not going back to Georgia. I want to be a family with you and just little ole me."

"Come live with me mom. Brian and Michelle shouldn't care." I said getting excited.

"I don't want to intrude."

"You won't be. If they can't accept the fact that you are here to be my mom, then I don't even need to be there." I said smiling. She smiled back and we got up and walked to the car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~JIMMY'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dude we should get back to Brian's and fast." I said and we all piled into the car and I sped down the road towards Brian's. We got there just before Aerial did and we sat down like nothing ever happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AERIAL'S POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I told mom to leave her bags in the car until I seen if it was alright for her to live here. We both walked in and I seen their faces.

"Guys this is my mom. Mom this is..." She cut my off and said, "Jimmy, Zacky, Johnny, Brian, Matt, and Michelle." They all got confused and so did I.

"How did you know their names?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"I listened to your music while you were gone. I love them. Absolutely incredible music."

"Do you know music?" Johnny asked my mom.

"Yes. I was in a band a long time ago and we were thinking about going big but we all broke up."

"That's awesome! Just like Aerial." Jimmy said excitedly. Why he's always excited beats the hell out of me. We all sat down and talked and talked. I got up and went outside when she started to talk about what all the male members of the family did to me. I sat on the front porch steps smoking a cigarette.

I didn't want to hear what had happened to me when I clearly know. I was there and she didn't even lift a finger to help me. What the hell is more important? Your life or mine? I just couldn't put my finger on it. Deep down inside of me I don't want anything to do with her but somewhere in me is telling me that it's a good idea. I hope those feelings ain't wrong. I flicked my cigarette away and stood up and started back into the house. Before I could open the door Matt opened it.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No. I just wanted some alone time with you." I sat back down on the porch and he did the same. He pulled me in closer.

"What's wrong sweetheart? You look like your sad or something?" I said kissing his cheek. He smiled.

"Your mom told us what happened. I mean to you and I think some people who would do that deserves to die. You know if your mom is running from the law, she won't be able to stay here."

"I know. I'm just waiting for her screw up." I said bitterly.

"What? Baby I don't get it. You want your mom in your life and then you don't."

"Why the fuck would I want a person who never helped me not one bit the whole fucking time I was being raped, tortured, starved, and beaten?" I yelled and I heard the door open and there was my mom.

"I didn't save you because they would kill me if I tried."

"Thinking about yourself again...Just answer me this...WHOSE FUCKING LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT? YOURS OR YOUR FUCKING CHILD'S. WHO HAPPENED TO BE IN FUCKING DANGER BUT YOU COULD GIVE A GOOD GODDAMN!" I yelled and she just hung her head.

"You don't even know the answer to that. Some mother you are. I'm paying for a flight for you to leave here and never come back. I have no idea why the fuck I wanted you stay with me anyways and try to be a mother when you ain't never going to be one." I said sternly. Matt held my hand keeping me from getting up. I wanted so bad to slap that bitch of a mother in the face.

"I'm sorry but let me tell you something. In the end, we're all just chalk lines on the concrete. Drawn only to be washed away. In the time I've been given, I am who I am. I'd rather you hate me for everything I am. Than ever love me for something I am not. I'd rather you hate me for everything that I am. Than ever love me for something that I can't." With that said mom walked off and grabbed her bags out of my car.

"You don't need to buy me a ticket out of here. I knew you would do this so I have to get going." She said and started walking down the road. I get up and walk straight into the house and up to my room. Locking the door and going into the bathroom and locking that door too.

I looked under the cabinet and found my little box that I always kept my straight razor in. I took it out and laid it in the palm of my hand. Why did my mom have to start up all kinds of shit with me. I don't fucking understand why someone like that would want their daughter in so much pain. I put the blade to my arm and sliced it. I felt no pain as I kept cutting up my arm. I watched as the blood trickled down my arm and onto the floor. I didn't care whether I lived or died. My mom should have known I didn't want anything to do with her. Why does she always manage to put my in so much pain.

I was shaken from my thoughts to voices yelling outside my bedroom door. I couldn't face them. I couldn't show them what happened to me. No one would be getting inside my head now. I felt my eyes beginning to close so I let them. I slowly drifted off to a place I always wanted to be.

Notes

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