Promise Of A Lifetime
Why Can't I Stay Out of This Place
I woke up to the sun burning my eyes. I put my arm in front of my eyes and seen a bandage on where I had cut. I sit up and seen Matt, Brian, Jimmy, Johnny, and Zacky all asleep. I just shook my head. I looked around the room and I put my hands in my head. Why can't I stay out of this place? I grabbed my phone off the table beside me and texted Zacky. I seen him open his eyes and look at the text. He looked up at me and smiled. He came over to my bedside and sat down.
"Welcome back kiddo." Zacky whispered not wanting to wake up the others.
"I'll always be here. I mean even if I have a moment of weakness." I smiled and he smiled back and kissed my forehead.
"I really fucked up this time didn't I Zacky?" I asked.
"No the cuts weren't that deep. No stitches required."
"Watch this." I said getting up off the bed and walking over to Matt first. I blew in his ear and he didn't wake up. I shrugged and went to Brian and did the same thing. He didn't wake up either. Johnny was next and he didn't wake up. I knew Jimmy had to wake up. I blew on his ear and he opened his eyes. He looked over and me and jumped bumping into Johnny and he woke up which woke everyone else up. I stood there laughing and so was Zacky.
"Baby? How you feeling?" Matt said getting up and embracing me in his huge arms.
"I'm fine but really wanting to go home. I hate this fucking place."
"I know you do but we have to wait and see what the doctor says." Brian said walking over to the other side. The doctor came in and examined me.
"Can I go home now doc?" I asked as he changed the dressing on my arms.
"Well we want you to see a shrink. Now we could assign you one or if the guys over there have a personal one, you can do that."
"We have a personal shrink. I'll go call him." Zacky said leaving the room. I hate fucking shrinks.
"While he's doing that, I'm going to get your release forms." The doctor left the room. I don't want a shrink to come and examine me when I know clearly that I will not be talking about my past. Especially in front of the guys. It's hard enough for me to live with it everyday let alone talk about it. Zacky came back in moments later and whispered something to Brian. I knew it was about the shrink.
"Sweetheart the shrink will be at the house when we get home." Brian said grabbing my hand in his. I pulled my hand away.
"What's wrong?" he asked raising his brow.
"I'm not talking to no damn shrink. Dad I can't! I mean he'll make me talk about my past and I can't do that. I can't!" I said throwing my arms into the air.
"Sweetheart...Please. The shrink only wants to help you get over the past and get rid of what you did to your arm. Give him a chance." Matt said kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and sighed.
"Alright but I want all of you there. I don't want to be there alone." I said grabbing Brian and Matt's hand. They both hugged me.
"We will be with you the whole time. Don't you worry. If something makes you uncomfortable to talk about you just look at either me or Matt." Brian said and I smiled. A few minutes later the doctor came in and handed Brian the release form and signed it. I got dressed in the bathroom and we went down to the car. Matt was driving with Brian taking shotgun. Jimmy, Johnny, and Zacky took the back seat and I sat down on Zacky's lap. It was a long drive from the hospital to the house so I laid my head on Zacky's shoulder and fell asleep to him rubbing my head gently.
"Welcome back kiddo." Zacky whispered not wanting to wake up the others.
"I'll always be here. I mean even if I have a moment of weakness." I smiled and he smiled back and kissed my forehead.
"I really fucked up this time didn't I Zacky?" I asked.
"No the cuts weren't that deep. No stitches required."
"Watch this." I said getting up off the bed and walking over to Matt first. I blew in his ear and he didn't wake up. I shrugged and went to Brian and did the same thing. He didn't wake up either. Johnny was next and he didn't wake up. I knew Jimmy had to wake up. I blew on his ear and he opened his eyes. He looked over and me and jumped bumping into Johnny and he woke up which woke everyone else up. I stood there laughing and so was Zacky.
"Baby? How you feeling?" Matt said getting up and embracing me in his huge arms.
"I'm fine but really wanting to go home. I hate this fucking place."
"I know you do but we have to wait and see what the doctor says." Brian said walking over to the other side. The doctor came in and examined me.
"Can I go home now doc?" I asked as he changed the dressing on my arms.
"Well we want you to see a shrink. Now we could assign you one or if the guys over there have a personal one, you can do that."
"We have a personal shrink. I'll go call him." Zacky said leaving the room. I hate fucking shrinks.
"While he's doing that, I'm going to get your release forms." The doctor left the room. I don't want a shrink to come and examine me when I know clearly that I will not be talking about my past. Especially in front of the guys. It's hard enough for me to live with it everyday let alone talk about it. Zacky came back in moments later and whispered something to Brian. I knew it was about the shrink.
"Sweetheart the shrink will be at the house when we get home." Brian said grabbing my hand in his. I pulled my hand away.
"What's wrong?" he asked raising his brow.
"I'm not talking to no damn shrink. Dad I can't! I mean he'll make me talk about my past and I can't do that. I can't!" I said throwing my arms into the air.
"Sweetheart...Please. The shrink only wants to help you get over the past and get rid of what you did to your arm. Give him a chance." Matt said kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and sighed.
"Alright but I want all of you there. I don't want to be there alone." I said grabbing Brian and Matt's hand. They both hugged me.
"We will be with you the whole time. Don't you worry. If something makes you uncomfortable to talk about you just look at either me or Matt." Brian said and I smiled. A few minutes later the doctor came in and handed Brian the release form and signed it. I got dressed in the bathroom and we went down to the car. Matt was driving with Brian taking shotgun. Jimmy, Johnny, and Zacky took the back seat and I sat down on Zacky's lap. It was a long drive from the hospital to the house so I laid my head on Zacky's shoulder and fell asleep to him rubbing my head gently.
11/13/13