The Final Decision
Chapter XVIII
I woke up the next morning actually feeling good. I was anxious to go see Zack and see what he had thought about. Sadly, I still had a few hours to go. I decided I was going to go ahead and go into the shop even though I told them I wasn’t going to come in today. I could at least get one client done in this time period. Hopefully.
I slid out of the bed, jumped in the shower, and got ready for the day. I wore my favorite jeans along with my Nirvana shirt and was more than ready to start the day. I grabbed my keys and bag and was happy on my way to the shop.
“I thought you weren’t coming in today?” Jesse asked.
“I need to kill a few hours, so I figured I could fit in a small tat.”
“Well do you wanna just take one of the walk-ins?”
“Yeah, that’ll be fine. Let me set my stuff down and set up shop.” I smiled and him and he nodded.
Once I was all set up and ready I asked the client to come back so we could talk design.
“Okay, so what are you looking to get?” I asked the female.
“I was really wanting to get a portrait of my grandmother.”
I smiled at her. I loved doing portraits. “I can definitely do that.” She beamed. “Do you have a picture of her?”
She nodded and handed over an 8x10’ portrait of this woman that looked about in her twenties. “Awesome, let me just draw it up. It’ll probably take about an hour or so, so why don’t you go get coffee or something and I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
She smiled. “Thank you so much. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay.” I smiled back at her and she walked out. I instantly began drawing out this beautiful woman. I couldn’t wait to hear the story why she was getting this tattoo.
About an hour, a little over actually, the drawing was officially finished. I walked out happily and saw her sitting down on the couch. She smiled when she saw me.
“It’s finished.” She hurriedly got up and walked back to my station. She took of her shirt and unbuckled her bra and I put the stencil on her right shoulder. I instantly began the tattoo.
“So, I just wanted to let you know that if you want to stop at any time and do another session to finish it up, just let me know.”
“Okay.” She mumbled.
“Tell me why you’re getting this tattoo.” I said while outlining the face.
“Well my grandmother was my everything.” She began. “I had a really hard childhood with my parents. My father was very abusive and my mother was a drug addict, so finally she had taken me in. I lived with her from age fifteen to twenty-one. She just made my life easier.” I heard her sniff, indicating that she was crying which obviously told me she had passed away. “She passed away about three months ago from lung cancer.”
“Oh my, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I don’t need your sympathy.” She chuckled a little. “I’m just so thankful for her.”
“Yeah, I can only imagine. She sounds like a great lady. She’s absolutely beautiful too.”
“Thank you. Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.”
“You used to be married to Zacky Vengeance didn’t you?” I stopped tattooing for a minute. God, I hate fans sometimes. “I’m not some crazed fan or anything. You just look a lot like her so I just had to ask.”
I began the tattoo again. “It’s okay. I just get it all the time. It’s hard to deal with it. But yes, I am.”
“I completely understand. I just went through a divorce myself. I was married to a lead singer a band, so I can relate a little.”
I lightened up a bit. “Oh, really? Well not I definitely don’t mind you asking me.” I laughed. “It’s just annoying to have fans coming up to me all the time asking why it happened and asking about all the rumors that stupid people start.”
“I hear ya. You have to deal with all the people who are completely heartbroken about it and want to know every detail and then you have to deal with the people who are completely ecstatic that it happened and are glad that you are out of their lives.”
“Yep, the number one reason why I avoid the internet.” I laughed.
She chuckled. “Same here.”
“Well, if you want to share your divorce story, feel free. I’ll share mine.”
“It’s the stereotypical rockstar divorce. He cheated and I was fed up.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame you.”
“And you know if it was just one time with some groupie, I wouldn’t have mind. When you’re in a relationship with a man who is famous you have to just know that it’s possible for him to go out and do shit like that. You just have to tell yourself whatever happens on the road, stays on the road. But he had a complete affair with this chick. For two years. I don’t know how I was so oblivious to it, but I was.”
“Oh my god. Two years?! What an inconsiderate asshole.”
“Right?” She laughed. “I moved here from L.A. because I wanted a new start and everything, but it’s way harder than I intended.”
“Your story almost matches mine to a t.”
“Oh, really? Zack cheated on you? He doesn’t seem like the type that would.”
I sighed. “No, he didn’t. I had cheated on him. There is a long story behind the person I cheated on him with.” I decided to leave Brian’s name out of the story. “I’ve been friends with this guy for years and honestly when I got with Zack is was to piss this guy off so I feel like our relationship was forced. Anyway one night I got completely wasted and I just woke up in this guy’s bed. I don’t remember anything. But that wasn’t even what caused our divorce.” I told her. “After this incident I decided that I should just go ahead and let it slide and just not speak of it, but soon enough this guy and I had to talk and he basically told me that he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Well Zack and this guy are best friends and so one day we all were together and he noticed that we weren’t talking and caught on. He accused me and me trying to hide what really happened got pissed and moved out. But then we lost our daughter. We then put our differences aside to properly mourn our daughter, but eventually the hostility he had towards me reappeared so I finally decided to tell him the truth. I got divorce papers and told him that it was ultimately his decision if he wanted to end our marriage. He kicked me out so I began staying with Matt and he got pissed once he found out that I was staying there. He claimed that I was staying there to keep tabs on him, which I wasn’t. I got fed up with it, moved out into my own apartment, got my job here, and filed for divorce.”
“Wow.” She said chuckling a little bit. “I don’t mean to laugh, but holy shit. That’s a lot of drama it sounds like.”
“Oh believe me it really was.” I laughed. “The last three years of my life have been a living hell. Well minus a few months out of it.”
“Did you really lose your daughter?”
I sighed. “Yes about three in a half months ago.”
“Oh my god. What happened?
“Well both Zack and I feel like my mother had something to do with it, but I haven’t had the money to hire an investigator so I just forgot about it. They ruled it as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, saying that she suffocated herself during her sleep.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that.” She said sympathetically.
“Oh, it’s okay. We mourned her as much as she probably would want us too. I have my days where it’s really hard and then others are okay. You just have to live with what you’ve been given. Nothing can bring my baby girl back.”
“That is very true. Have you talked to Zack at all since the divorce?”
“Actually, yes. The first time last night.”
“Well did everything turn out okay?”
“Yeah, surprisingly. Well for now anyways. I have to go after I finish up here to see him once again. We talked everything through and we realized some things that we should’ve realized before; well I realized things. I’m not sure about him.”
“Are you hoping to get back together?”
“Yes, I’m on my knees begging for it.” I laughed. “I thought I would’ve been okay by myself, but all that did was make me more miserable. I realized just how much I loved him and it turns out he has been pretty miserable himself.”
“Well I wish you guys the best.”
I smiled to myself. “Thank you. Have you talked to your ex-husband at all?”
“Well, no. I’m not ready to just yet. I’m pretty questionable with the whole situation. I don’t think I could ever go back to him if he wanted me.”
“Yeah, that’s understandable. I will be surprised if Zack does.”
“It’s just the fear of it happening again and the thought that he didn’t love me then why would he now?”
“Yeah. I could see that.”
“I don’t know, though. Maybe I can get lucky and marry a rockstar again or maybe I can even find my soulmate. Who knows.”
“Well I wish you the best of luck.” I repeated her gratitude from earlier.
“Thank you.”
I finished up the tattoo and it looked absolutely amazing. She was completely ecstatic.
“I love it! Thank you so much, err…”
“Lex.” I laughed. “I didn’t realize we didn’t exchange names.”
“I’m Casey.” She smiled.
“Well Casey, I enjoyed tattooing you today and sharing our life stories.” She laughed. “But maybe we should get together sometime. I can help you out as much as I can.”
“I’d like that.” I scribbled down my number on a piece of paper and handed it to her.
“Here’s my number. Maybe we can go get drunk one night.” I winked at her and she laughed.
“Sounds good to me. I’ll call you sometime.” I waved at her as she walked out.
“Well look at you. Finding best friends and shit.” Jesse smiled.
“We just hit it off.” I laughed. “We’ve gone through some of the same shit.”
“Good.”
“Well I’m out of here. I got shit I gotta do.” He saluted me and I went and packed everything up and headed out. I automatically made my way to the hospital. I was anxious to know what Zack thought about. I wanted to know what the outcome was going to be.
I slowly turned into the parking lot and parked. I then fixed up my hair and makeup and made look at least halfway presentable. I got out and slowly made my way in. The same girl that was working last night was working again.
“Oh god.” I heard her mumbled as I walked up.
“I’m here to see Zack.”
“You don’t have to check in every time you come here. Just go to his room. Visiting hours are over at nine.”
“Okay, thank you.” I walked away from the desk and made my way to Zack’s room. I stood outside of it feeling more nervous than I did when I first walked in. I opened the door with my shaky hand and walked in. The TV was on at a low volume and no one else was in there. Zack smiled as I walked in.
“I would’ve come sooner, but I had a tattoo to do.”
“That’s okay.” He said tiredly.
“How are you?” I asked fully walking into the room and setting my bag down.
“I’m very tired. I’m ready to get out of this hell hole.”
“When can you get out?”
“Tomorrow afternoon. I was on a 72 hour suicide watch.” He rolled his eyes.
“That’s the consequence you have to pay when you try and kill yourself, Zee.” He sighed. “Why are you so tired?”
“I didn’t sleep last night. I was thinking too much.”
“About us?”
“Yes.”
“Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, I’m yours until nine o’clock tonight.” He smiled and I pulled up the chair that was in there next to his bed.
I slid out of the bed, jumped in the shower, and got ready for the day. I wore my favorite jeans along with my Nirvana shirt and was more than ready to start the day. I grabbed my keys and bag and was happy on my way to the shop.
“I thought you weren’t coming in today?” Jesse asked.
“I need to kill a few hours, so I figured I could fit in a small tat.”
“Well do you wanna just take one of the walk-ins?”
“Yeah, that’ll be fine. Let me set my stuff down and set up shop.” I smiled and him and he nodded.
Once I was all set up and ready I asked the client to come back so we could talk design.
“Okay, so what are you looking to get?” I asked the female.
“I was really wanting to get a portrait of my grandmother.”
I smiled at her. I loved doing portraits. “I can definitely do that.” She beamed. “Do you have a picture of her?”
She nodded and handed over an 8x10’ portrait of this woman that looked about in her twenties. “Awesome, let me just draw it up. It’ll probably take about an hour or so, so why don’t you go get coffee or something and I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
She smiled. “Thank you so much. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay.” I smiled back at her and she walked out. I instantly began drawing out this beautiful woman. I couldn’t wait to hear the story why she was getting this tattoo.
About an hour, a little over actually, the drawing was officially finished. I walked out happily and saw her sitting down on the couch. She smiled when she saw me.
“It’s finished.” She hurriedly got up and walked back to my station. She took of her shirt and unbuckled her bra and I put the stencil on her right shoulder. I instantly began the tattoo.
“So, I just wanted to let you know that if you want to stop at any time and do another session to finish it up, just let me know.”
“Okay.” She mumbled.
“Tell me why you’re getting this tattoo.” I said while outlining the face.
“Well my grandmother was my everything.” She began. “I had a really hard childhood with my parents. My father was very abusive and my mother was a drug addict, so finally she had taken me in. I lived with her from age fifteen to twenty-one. She just made my life easier.” I heard her sniff, indicating that she was crying which obviously told me she had passed away. “She passed away about three months ago from lung cancer.”
“Oh my, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I don’t need your sympathy.” She chuckled a little. “I’m just so thankful for her.”
“Yeah, I can only imagine. She sounds like a great lady. She’s absolutely beautiful too.”
“Thank you. Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.”
“You used to be married to Zacky Vengeance didn’t you?” I stopped tattooing for a minute. God, I hate fans sometimes. “I’m not some crazed fan or anything. You just look a lot like her so I just had to ask.”
I began the tattoo again. “It’s okay. I just get it all the time. It’s hard to deal with it. But yes, I am.”
“I completely understand. I just went through a divorce myself. I was married to a lead singer a band, so I can relate a little.”
I lightened up a bit. “Oh, really? Well not I definitely don’t mind you asking me.” I laughed. “It’s just annoying to have fans coming up to me all the time asking why it happened and asking about all the rumors that stupid people start.”
“I hear ya. You have to deal with all the people who are completely heartbroken about it and want to know every detail and then you have to deal with the people who are completely ecstatic that it happened and are glad that you are out of their lives.”
“Yep, the number one reason why I avoid the internet.” I laughed.
She chuckled. “Same here.”
“Well, if you want to share your divorce story, feel free. I’ll share mine.”
“It’s the stereotypical rockstar divorce. He cheated and I was fed up.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame you.”
“And you know if it was just one time with some groupie, I wouldn’t have mind. When you’re in a relationship with a man who is famous you have to just know that it’s possible for him to go out and do shit like that. You just have to tell yourself whatever happens on the road, stays on the road. But he had a complete affair with this chick. For two years. I don’t know how I was so oblivious to it, but I was.”
“Oh my god. Two years?! What an inconsiderate asshole.”
“Right?” She laughed. “I moved here from L.A. because I wanted a new start and everything, but it’s way harder than I intended.”
“Your story almost matches mine to a t.”
“Oh, really? Zack cheated on you? He doesn’t seem like the type that would.”
I sighed. “No, he didn’t. I had cheated on him. There is a long story behind the person I cheated on him with.” I decided to leave Brian’s name out of the story. “I’ve been friends with this guy for years and honestly when I got with Zack is was to piss this guy off so I feel like our relationship was forced. Anyway one night I got completely wasted and I just woke up in this guy’s bed. I don’t remember anything. But that wasn’t even what caused our divorce.” I told her. “After this incident I decided that I should just go ahead and let it slide and just not speak of it, but soon enough this guy and I had to talk and he basically told me that he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Well Zack and this guy are best friends and so one day we all were together and he noticed that we weren’t talking and caught on. He accused me and me trying to hide what really happened got pissed and moved out. But then we lost our daughter. We then put our differences aside to properly mourn our daughter, but eventually the hostility he had towards me reappeared so I finally decided to tell him the truth. I got divorce papers and told him that it was ultimately his decision if he wanted to end our marriage. He kicked me out so I began staying with Matt and he got pissed once he found out that I was staying there. He claimed that I was staying there to keep tabs on him, which I wasn’t. I got fed up with it, moved out into my own apartment, got my job here, and filed for divorce.”
“Wow.” She said chuckling a little bit. “I don’t mean to laugh, but holy shit. That’s a lot of drama it sounds like.”
“Oh believe me it really was.” I laughed. “The last three years of my life have been a living hell. Well minus a few months out of it.”
“Did you really lose your daughter?”
I sighed. “Yes about three in a half months ago.”
“Oh my god. What happened?
“Well both Zack and I feel like my mother had something to do with it, but I haven’t had the money to hire an investigator so I just forgot about it. They ruled it as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, saying that she suffocated herself during her sleep.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that.” She said sympathetically.
“Oh, it’s okay. We mourned her as much as she probably would want us too. I have my days where it’s really hard and then others are okay. You just have to live with what you’ve been given. Nothing can bring my baby girl back.”
“That is very true. Have you talked to Zack at all since the divorce?”
“Actually, yes. The first time last night.”
“Well did everything turn out okay?”
“Yeah, surprisingly. Well for now anyways. I have to go after I finish up here to see him once again. We talked everything through and we realized some things that we should’ve realized before; well I realized things. I’m not sure about him.”
“Are you hoping to get back together?”
“Yes, I’m on my knees begging for it.” I laughed. “I thought I would’ve been okay by myself, but all that did was make me more miserable. I realized just how much I loved him and it turns out he has been pretty miserable himself.”
“Well I wish you guys the best.”
I smiled to myself. “Thank you. Have you talked to your ex-husband at all?”
“Well, no. I’m not ready to just yet. I’m pretty questionable with the whole situation. I don’t think I could ever go back to him if he wanted me.”
“Yeah, that’s understandable. I will be surprised if Zack does.”
“It’s just the fear of it happening again and the thought that he didn’t love me then why would he now?”
“Yeah. I could see that.”
“I don’t know, though. Maybe I can get lucky and marry a rockstar again or maybe I can even find my soulmate. Who knows.”
“Well I wish you the best of luck.” I repeated her gratitude from earlier.
“Thank you.”
I finished up the tattoo and it looked absolutely amazing. She was completely ecstatic.
“I love it! Thank you so much, err…”
“Lex.” I laughed. “I didn’t realize we didn’t exchange names.”
“I’m Casey.” She smiled.
“Well Casey, I enjoyed tattooing you today and sharing our life stories.” She laughed. “But maybe we should get together sometime. I can help you out as much as I can.”
“I’d like that.” I scribbled down my number on a piece of paper and handed it to her.
“Here’s my number. Maybe we can go get drunk one night.” I winked at her and she laughed.
“Sounds good to me. I’ll call you sometime.” I waved at her as she walked out.
“Well look at you. Finding best friends and shit.” Jesse smiled.
“We just hit it off.” I laughed. “We’ve gone through some of the same shit.”
“Good.”
“Well I’m out of here. I got shit I gotta do.” He saluted me and I went and packed everything up and headed out. I automatically made my way to the hospital. I was anxious to know what Zack thought about. I wanted to know what the outcome was going to be.
I slowly turned into the parking lot and parked. I then fixed up my hair and makeup and made look at least halfway presentable. I got out and slowly made my way in. The same girl that was working last night was working again.
“Oh god.” I heard her mumbled as I walked up.
“I’m here to see Zack.”
“You don’t have to check in every time you come here. Just go to his room. Visiting hours are over at nine.”
“Okay, thank you.” I walked away from the desk and made my way to Zack’s room. I stood outside of it feeling more nervous than I did when I first walked in. I opened the door with my shaky hand and walked in. The TV was on at a low volume and no one else was in there. Zack smiled as I walked in.
“I would’ve come sooner, but I had a tattoo to do.”
“That’s okay.” He said tiredly.
“How are you?” I asked fully walking into the room and setting my bag down.
“I’m very tired. I’m ready to get out of this hell hole.”
“When can you get out?”
“Tomorrow afternoon. I was on a 72 hour suicide watch.” He rolled his eyes.
“That’s the consequence you have to pay when you try and kill yourself, Zee.” He sighed. “Why are you so tired?”
“I didn’t sleep last night. I was thinking too much.”
“About us?”
“Yes.”
“Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, I’m yours until nine o’clock tonight.” He smiled and I pulled up the chair that was in there next to his bed.
Update soon please. I love this story.
4/30/17