I parked my car and I got out. I slowly walked in and asked the front desk what room he was in. Once the lady told me, I made my way to his room. I stopped outside the door and breathed in. I could hear Matt in there. He was telling him about everything that happened at the restaurant. I opened the door and walked in. I stopped in the doorway and hugged myself.

“Lex?” Matt said shocked.

“No, dumbass. It’s fucking Cher.” Zack stared at me in disbelief.

“I’m not hallucinating am I?” Zack asked.

“No, dude. She’s there.”

“Hey, Zee.” I said, sympathetically.

“Oh my god.” He started to cry.

“Matt, can you go outside?”

“Yeah, of course.” He got up and walked towards the door. He stopped next to me and whispered in my ear. “Thank you so much.” I nodded and he walked out.

“Why’d you do it?” He looked at me. “Why did you try and kill yourself?”

“I didn’t try and kill myself.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me Zack.” I walked in fully, finally.

He sighed. “I don’t know why I did. I was just done.”

I began to cry. “What if Matt didn’t get to you in time? What if you died, Zack? What if I lost you!?”

“I already fucking lost you. You chose to leave me. You already had lost me.”

“Do you want me to be honest with you?” I sniffed. He nodded. “I’m fucking miserable. I keep telling myself that I love my new life; that I’m so much better off, but I’m just lying to myself. If I’m not at work or out with my coworkers I’m home alone watching sad ass movies eating ice cream and crying myself to sleep. I miss you. I miss Avery. I miss our old life.”

“Then why did you leave?”

“I thought it was best.”

“It obviously wasn’t. Why didn’t you come back?”

“Because I know I was going to be miserable no matter where I was.”

“Do you still love me?”

“Yes.”

“Then how would you be miserable?”

“Because you were so angry with me.”

“Well did you expect me to be happy with you? You admitted to cheating on me. With my best friend.”

“I didn’t expect you to be happy, but I didn’t expect you to be so angry. I figured it was going to be last time.”

“I told you before that now that we were married that this shit with Brian needed to stop.”

“I know you did and if I wasn’t drunk, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“That just tells me that you can’t drink around Brian, which is pretty pathetic.”

“Zack, listen to me. What happened that night was a mistake. Both Brian and I know it was. I told you when we got together that I still had feelings for him and that I probably always will, which is true still to this day, but I love you. I love you to the moon and back for crying out loud. I can’t explain to anyone the way you make me feel. I tried dating when I was out with my coworkers and guess what it didn’t work. You want to know why? Because the only goddamn thing on my mind was you. I couldn’t love another man the way I love you.”

“You see if this is how you feel then why did you leave? Why did you go through with the divorce? You’re not making any sense. If you love me so much why did you do the one thing that would hurt me the most?”

“I was angry with you. I was pissed beyond comprehension. I couldn’t believe the things you said to me. I couldn’t believe that you got so angry with me over something so stupid. You freaking out the way you did just pushed me over the edge. I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to escape that shit. I wanted it all to be gone and the only solution I came up with in my mind was to leave.”

“Why didn’t we talk about this before? We could’ve resolved all this shit.”

“I tried. We both did. The only thing that caused all this shit to blow out was you flipping out and me leaving. Remember the night at Matt and Val’s party? Yeah, we were both ready to just move back in with each other right then and there.”

“I fucked up. I know I did.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Zack.” I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. “We both made mistakes. We’re human, it happens.”

“What do we do now?”

“I don’t know, Zack. I really don’t. I’m going to go home tonight and we’ll think about this. We’ll think about the things we both said. I’ll come back tomorrow and we’ll have a good whole hearted conversation; just the two of us.”

“That sounds great. Thanks for coming.” I smiled at him.

“It’s no problem.” I kissed his hand and then made my way out the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said before opening the door and walking out.

“How’d it go?” Matt asked the moment I closed the door.

“It went well, honestly. Don’t make plans to come stay with him tomorrow. I’ll be here. We talked tonight about a lot of things, but now we really need to think things over. We both need to figure out what exactly we want. So I’m going to come back tomorrow and we’ll talk about whatever we thought about.”

He smiled. “Good.”

I sighed. “I really want to thank you, Matt. You don’t know how miserable I was.”

He nodded. “Believe me, I know. Can you do me one more favor before you head home?”

“Consider it already done.” I smiled at him already knowing what he was going to ask. He opened his arms and I greatly accepted them and embraced him.

“Thank you.” He whispered. I nodded and walked away. I made my way out to my car and started my way towards Matt and Val’s house. I was going to surprise Val. It’s been a month and I know she’s probably missing me like crazy.

I pulled into the driveway and parked my car. All the lights were off minus the one to her bedroom, which was at the front of the house. I got out and knocked on her door. I heard some shuffling.

“Matt did you-“ Her eyes widened. “Lex, oh my god!” She squealed and grabbed me into a hug. “What are you doing here?” She moved out of the way so I could walk in.

“You’re husband decided to come pay me a visit at my new shop.”

“He found you?”

I nodded. “Yes, he said he was going to every shop in the city.”

“He wanted to tell you about Zack.” She sighed.

“Yeah, I know. He asked me to meet him after work, so I did. He explained to me what happened with Zack and then asked if I could go see him. I declined at first, but guilt surged through me and I decided on my way home to go ahead and stop by.”

“Is everything okay?”

“We talked. What we should’ve done when this whole thing happened.”

“And?”

“We both decided to just think about it tonight and talk and make a decision tomorrow.”

“Well what do you think you’re going to do?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t had time to think about it just yet. I just left the hospital and came straight here.”

“It’s so good to see you, Lex. Thank you so much for stopping by.”

I smiled at her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. It’s not the same without you.”

I nodded. “I know. I really shouldn’t have left. I should’ve dealt with my problems instead of running from them.”


“That’s what everyone was trying to tell you, but you were dead set on leaving.”

“Well I really felt like it was the right thing to do. I thought I could just get new friends, a new job and start over. I figured I’d meet someone to love, but the thing is I already found the one I love. I already found my soulmate. You’re only entitled to one.”

“That’s true. Zack hasn’t been himself in so long. Honestly, none of us can remember what he acts like when he’s happy.”

“I can’t even remember what it’s like to be happy.” I sighed. “I just threw it all away like it didn’t mean anything to me.”

“You didn’t know what to do. You freaked out.”

“I’ve never felt so small.” I began. “I just felt like I was a toy for Zack to play with. I was his puppet. He could make me do anything to get him back. I needed to break away from that.”

“You both were terrified of losing each other that you both were willing to do anything to keep you. You both have a manipulative personality.”

“I know. This is what we both needed though. We both needed to realize what life is like without each other. I just wish I wouldn’t have gone to the extreme of getting a divorce. I wish I could still call myself Lexi Baker. I miss being Lexi Baker.”

“Well, hun, you can get that back.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know, but what if it ends up just like last time?”

“It won’t. You both realized how much you care for each other. You may not have realized it before. Sure you were in love and you guys got married and all that shit, but look how you guys got together? It wasn’t exactly a love at first sight kind of thing.”

“I got together with him went I loved Brian the most…”

“Exactly.”

“Oh my god. That’s it Val.” I exclaimed. “I never got to get over Brian. I never got to see how much I love Zack. I just forced myself to pretend like I love him so I can have revenge on Brian.” She nodded. “And karma got me in the ass and I fell in love with him, but I couldn’t realize it because I was still wrapped up in Brian.”

“Do I smell an epiphany?”

“I have to go back to him, Val!”

“Go on, sweetie!”

“Thank you so much!” I got up and grabbed her into a hug. “I still have your number so I’ll call you. My number changed so just answer!” She laughed and said an okay and I ran out of the house.

How could I be so blind? It was obvious all along. When I left I wasn’t upset missing Brian. I wasn’t wishing I was in his arms or waking up next to him. I definitely wasn’t wishing I would get a call from him. It has been Zack all along. He’s the one and I was too stupid to even realize it.

I pulled into the hospital visitor parking lot and quickly got out and ran inside. I breathlessly asked the receptionist to let me pass so I could go see Zack, but she refused.

“No, ma’am. You have to let me. I am his wife.”

“He’s a famous rockstar. Anyone could say that.” She rolled her eyes. “Besides visiting hours are over.”

“I don’t give a fuck!” I screamed. “You are going to let me go up there and see my husband. Well, ex-husband.”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but visiting hours are over.”

“Fuck your visiting hours.” I walked away towards the elevator and hurried to Zack’s room. Once I was there I quickly locked the door.

“Lex? What are you doing here?”

“I have to make this quick. They’re going to come in here and escort me out because visiting hours are over and I wasn’t exactly nice to the receptionist, but just listen. Zack I was an idiot. I didn’t realize how much I loved you. I never have. Think back to how we first got together. It was to get Brian back. I wanted him and then he pissed me off so then it was for revenge. Our love was forced. I never had the time to get over Brian. But you know what I realized tonight? It wasn’t him that I was thinking about when I left. It wasn’t him I loved at all. It was you, but I never had the time to realize it because I thought Brian was the one. I thought I was settling for less when in reality I was settling for much more than I even deserved. I love you Zack. I always have and I’m sorry that I didn’t realize until tonight. I’m sorry for all the shit that I put you through. I just hope that you realize what I have realize and can accept me and forgive me.” The door swung open and the security guards kindly asked me to step out with him. “Think it over. I’ll be here during visiting hours tomorrow.” He looked shocked and overwhelmed. I sent him a small smile and walked out of the room with the guards and they led me outside.

Notes

I am so sorry for not updating this sooner! I have been extremely busy being the editor of a newspaper so bare with me! I hope this update makes up for it though!!

I love you all <3 But my commenters just a little bit more ;)