Waste
I Guess I Have Some Explaining To Do
I watched as the broken and severed limb person I called my mother crawled across the grass towards me. I was frozen in place as she reached my feet. I took a slow step back before raising my gun to her head and pulling the trigger like she was nothing but a rabid animal....
I looked at the scene in front of me and it felt so damn real. I moved my feet and walked through the building and turned a corner seeing my father being ripped to peices. I had to save him! I grabbed a knife from my belt and threw it right into the rotted head on the dead person. I ran to my father as he looked up at me gurgling to stay alive.
"Stay with me dad! I'm going to get you some help." I said in panic as blood spewed from his mouth with each breath he took.
"You...can't save me...but...you can save the world." I watched his eyes started to close but no matter how hard I slapped his face to keep his eyes from closing, they just did. I stood back up to my feet and pointed the gun at my father as the disease in his system started taking him over and I pulled the trigger....
I jolted upright and looked around at the slight darkness that surrounded me. The fire was only illuminating a small space and I looked up to see my sister still keeping watch. She never noticed me sitting up like I did. I took my hand from my heart and wiped the sweat that collected on my brow. I quietly got to my feet with my sidearms in hand and walked towards the bathrooms in the rest area. I closed the door behind me and turned on the water. I set my pistols on the empty paper towel holder and cupped my hands together and watched as the water pooled in them. I splashed my face 3 good times before looking at my reflection in the dirty mirror. Why can't I just get these fucking nightmares to escape my mind?! This is getting stupid and horrific everytime I even close my eyes.
"Serenity?" I looked over at the door at Felicity.
"You're supposed to be on watch." I said drying my face on my shirt.
"The others have it covered right now. Serenity I think we need to talk."
"What about?" I asked as I looked back into the mirror.
"I heard you mumbling about mom and dad inyour sleep and it looked like you were crying. You're having nightmares about what happened aren't you?" I hung my head closing my eyes. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I raised my head back up to look at Felicity in the mirror.
"I guess I have some explaining to do." I said sighing. She nodded and I ran a hand through my wet hair. I started off by telling her when the nightmares first started and then the reason I didn't want to tell her. I really didn't want her to worry about me. The nightmares are my problem and no one should be brought in to hear my ngihtmares.
"Serenity...even though you're older than me and you want what's best for me. I'm still your sister. You can always come to me if you need to talk about something, I'm alway going to be here."
"I just didn't want you to worry about me. I mean I worry more about this group of people than myself. I worry if we're going to run out of ammo or food." I said honestly.
"I know you do. This is a time to worry about things but beating yourself for not going back to the house to get mom and dad that night isn't going to change the fact that this all happened. How do you know that if you went back to the house and maybe got killed? Or maybe somehow you managed to get them out of there and then they get killed like they did? No one really knows when something bad is going to happen. No one can predict something that's totally unpredictable to all of mankind." Felicity was right. I could have saved them years ago but they would have probably gotten killed anyways.
"When the hell did you become mature?" I joked and she laughed slightly.
"I matured when we were forced to live the way we are right now. Fighting the dead so we can survive." I nodded and smiled at my sister. She says that I'm the strongest person in this whole group but I personally think it's her. She can explain anything in any kind of situation.
"It'll be sun up in about 2 hours." I said as Felicity rubbed her eyes. I knew she had to be tired.
"Yeah I know."
"You get some sleep and I'll finish up your watch." I said and I grabbed my pistols before leaving the bathroom. I looked over the others as they slept before going over to her post and standing guard with my machine gun. It did feel good to tell Felicity about the nightmares I've been having but that's not going to stop them from coming back when I fall asleep.
I looked at the scene in front of me and it felt so damn real. I moved my feet and walked through the building and turned a corner seeing my father being ripped to peices. I had to save him! I grabbed a knife from my belt and threw it right into the rotted head on the dead person. I ran to my father as he looked up at me gurgling to stay alive.
"Stay with me dad! I'm going to get you some help." I said in panic as blood spewed from his mouth with each breath he took.
"You...can't save me...but...you can save the world." I watched his eyes started to close but no matter how hard I slapped his face to keep his eyes from closing, they just did. I stood back up to my feet and pointed the gun at my father as the disease in his system started taking him over and I pulled the trigger....
I jolted upright and looked around at the slight darkness that surrounded me. The fire was only illuminating a small space and I looked up to see my sister still keeping watch. She never noticed me sitting up like I did. I took my hand from my heart and wiped the sweat that collected on my brow. I quietly got to my feet with my sidearms in hand and walked towards the bathrooms in the rest area. I closed the door behind me and turned on the water. I set my pistols on the empty paper towel holder and cupped my hands together and watched as the water pooled in them. I splashed my face 3 good times before looking at my reflection in the dirty mirror. Why can't I just get these fucking nightmares to escape my mind?! This is getting stupid and horrific everytime I even close my eyes.
"Serenity?" I looked over at the door at Felicity.
"You're supposed to be on watch." I said drying my face on my shirt.
"The others have it covered right now. Serenity I think we need to talk."
"What about?" I asked as I looked back into the mirror.
"I heard you mumbling about mom and dad inyour sleep and it looked like you were crying. You're having nightmares about what happened aren't you?" I hung my head closing my eyes. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I raised my head back up to look at Felicity in the mirror.
"I guess I have some explaining to do." I said sighing. She nodded and I ran a hand through my wet hair. I started off by telling her when the nightmares first started and then the reason I didn't want to tell her. I really didn't want her to worry about me. The nightmares are my problem and no one should be brought in to hear my ngihtmares.
"Serenity...even though you're older than me and you want what's best for me. I'm still your sister. You can always come to me if you need to talk about something, I'm alway going to be here."
"I just didn't want you to worry about me. I mean I worry more about this group of people than myself. I worry if we're going to run out of ammo or food." I said honestly.
"I know you do. This is a time to worry about things but beating yourself for not going back to the house to get mom and dad that night isn't going to change the fact that this all happened. How do you know that if you went back to the house and maybe got killed? Or maybe somehow you managed to get them out of there and then they get killed like they did? No one really knows when something bad is going to happen. No one can predict something that's totally unpredictable to all of mankind." Felicity was right. I could have saved them years ago but they would have probably gotten killed anyways.
"When the hell did you become mature?" I joked and she laughed slightly.
"I matured when we were forced to live the way we are right now. Fighting the dead so we can survive." I nodded and smiled at my sister. She says that I'm the strongest person in this whole group but I personally think it's her. She can explain anything in any kind of situation.
"It'll be sun up in about 2 hours." I said as Felicity rubbed her eyes. I knew she had to be tired.
"Yeah I know."
"You get some sleep and I'll finish up your watch." I said and I grabbed my pistols before leaving the bathroom. I looked over the others as they slept before going over to her post and standing guard with my machine gun. It did feel good to tell Felicity about the nightmares I've been having but that's not going to stop them from coming back when I fall asleep.
3/9/13