No one has to know.
Thirty Four: Give me all your poison, and give me all your pills.
“Riley please just talk to me” He begged.
“Zacky I can’t even look at you right now” I said angrily through my tears.
“Riley I know you’re mad I—“
“Mad? You think I’m mad? Try absolutely fucking livid, try heartbroken, try in despair, I may be a lot of things Zack but I am not mad ” I seethed. He looked at me with large eyes, he swallowed hard. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry at him. He looked genuinely scared.
Just then the front door went and I stomped over to answer it. I opened the door to reveal Brian and Matt standing there.
“What? Did he call you for fucking back up now?” I spat.
“Riley what are you talking about?” Matt asked walking into the flat.
“Ask him, ask you best friend. He tells you guys everything anyway. Oh wait no he fucking doesn’t”
“Riley seriously what are you talking about?”
“He slept with Gena, the night I left he fucked Gena behind my back, oh and the best thing is, he said that he didn’t mean to do it, because he accidently slept with her, isn’t it just so fucking funny” I laughed and wiped away more tears that’d fallen.
“And to think that I actually thought I loved you, Mason was right” I laughed again and started walking into my room.
“Don’t ever fucking compare me to that fucker” He growled, grabbing my arm and spinning me around, pinning me against the door frame.
“Get the fuck off me” I screamed, bringing my knee up I caught him right where it hurts, and he groaned and doubled over in pain cupping his balls. Matt dragged him to the couch, and then I slammed the door shut. I sat down and buried my face in my hands. A minute later I heard a knock on the door and then it opened. I looked up to see Brian standing in the doorway looking sad.
“Fuck off Brian. I don’t wanna hear it” I spat.
“I don’t care” He said “I’m gonna say it anyway” he said shutting the door and sitting with his back against it so I couldn’t escape. “You’re being out of order”
I just stared at him; I had no words that could even comprehend what he wanted me to say back to that. But my mouth opened before my brain could wake up.
“You think I’m being out of order? Go on Brian. Humour me”
“I know he screwed up Riley, but he needs you, he doesn’t know how to function without you by his side and he doesn’t know what to do with himself now, he’s probably getting suicidal in there right now”
“Y’know something Brian?”
“What?”
“I had a crush on your for four years, and now I think to myself, ‘Why did I do that?
He’s an even fucking bigger idiot than his friend in there” I pointed toward the living room.
“That is irrelevant right now” He said “You both need to stop this. You need to sit down and discuss it like adults before you say things you regret even more and you lose each other forever”
“Oh he’s already fucking lost me Brian, I can’t ever forgive him after that” I said getting hysterical now.
“Riley you need to calm down alright?” He came and sat down next to me on the bed. I was getting to the point of tears now when I was about to need my asthma inhaler if I didn’t calm down now. I reached for the drawer and pulled it out, Brian took it from me and took the cap off, he shook it and placed it in my mouth, pressing the button down I took a deep breath. After that my chest started to ease up.
I pushed away from Brian and went into the living room where Matt was sitting with Zacky on the sofa, a comforting hand placed on his shoulder and he cried into his hands. Matt glared up at me and it pissed me off again.
“Don’t fucking glare at me Matthew” I spat
“No Matt don’t make her pissed I just calmed her down” Brian whined.
“Shut up Brian!” I yelled, he winced at my noise levels. “Don’t you fucking get involved either this is between me and Zacky”
“Then fucking talk to him!”
“Um not while you two are here”
“I’m not leaving you two alone chances are you’ll kill each other” Brian said. I
shook my head.
“He fucking cheated on me, with his ex, I have nothing else to say to him other than he can fucking find someone else to share an apartment with”
“You can’t kick me out!” He said suddenly, standing up off the couch and turning around to face me.
“I never said I was kicking you out”
“But Riley you can’t leave me” He said moving to stand in front of me, cupping my face with his big hands.
“You should have thought of that before you fucked your ex-girlfriend Zacky” I said putting my hands over his as more tears dribbled down the both of our cheeks.
“But you didn’t”
“Riley please I’m begging you. Please don’t fucking leave me” He said pressing
me against the wall, Brian and Matt sat/stood there awkwardly as he said this “I love you so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything else in my life and I… Riley I’m scared that if you leave me right now I really will do something stupid”
“I’m not your keeper” I said
“No, you’re the woman I love, you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, underneath everything else you’re always the one that I’ll come back to because… what I feel for you… it just surpasses anything else I’ve ever felt for anyone and I can’t… I can’t even think about living without you… it hurts too much” He said
“Why’re you doing this to me Zacky, why do you make it hurt so much” I said
“I don’t mean to… Riley please, baby don’t leave me, please I’ll do anything”
“I’m not leaving I just… well they have to go for a start” I said, he turned to our
friends, giving them a pleading look, they nodded and stood without a word. Brian only stopped when he got to the door.
“Call us if you need anything” I nodded and they left.
“I love you Zacky, I’m just… I don’t know if I can do this” I said
“We don’t have to, just please, stay here tonight, just stay”
“Okay”
X-X-X
Knowing that Zacky had cheated on me was too much for me to handle, the fact that it’d been his ex-girlfriend that he’d fucked as well, it just hurt too much. And that’s where I found myself now, lying in the bath of hot water, still fully clothed, I’d already swallowed the bottle of pills, washed down by my good old friend Jack Daniels, everything was getting fuzzy now, I tried to focus as I pressed the razor against my skin, I hadn’t done this since I was a teenager, but fuck did it feel good.
***
Literally, can’t focus on anything now. Now it’s just black.
“Zacky I can’t even look at you right now” I said angrily through my tears.
“Riley I know you’re mad I—“
“Mad? You think I’m mad? Try absolutely fucking livid, try heartbroken, try in despair, I may be a lot of things Zack but I am not mad ” I seethed. He looked at me with large eyes, he swallowed hard. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry at him. He looked genuinely scared.
Just then the front door went and I stomped over to answer it. I opened the door to reveal Brian and Matt standing there.
“What? Did he call you for fucking back up now?” I spat.
“Riley what are you talking about?” Matt asked walking into the flat.
“Ask him, ask you best friend. He tells you guys everything anyway. Oh wait no he fucking doesn’t”
“Riley seriously what are you talking about?”
“He slept with Gena, the night I left he fucked Gena behind my back, oh and the best thing is, he said that he didn’t mean to do it, because he accidently slept with her, isn’t it just so fucking funny” I laughed and wiped away more tears that’d fallen.
“And to think that I actually thought I loved you, Mason was right” I laughed again and started walking into my room.
“Don’t ever fucking compare me to that fucker” He growled, grabbing my arm and spinning me around, pinning me against the door frame.
“Get the fuck off me” I screamed, bringing my knee up I caught him right where it hurts, and he groaned and doubled over in pain cupping his balls. Matt dragged him to the couch, and then I slammed the door shut. I sat down and buried my face in my hands. A minute later I heard a knock on the door and then it opened. I looked up to see Brian standing in the doorway looking sad.
“Fuck off Brian. I don’t wanna hear it” I spat.
“I don’t care” He said “I’m gonna say it anyway” he said shutting the door and sitting with his back against it so I couldn’t escape. “You’re being out of order”
I just stared at him; I had no words that could even comprehend what he wanted me to say back to that. But my mouth opened before my brain could wake up.
“You think I’m being out of order? Go on Brian. Humour me”
“I know he screwed up Riley, but he needs you, he doesn’t know how to function without you by his side and he doesn’t know what to do with himself now, he’s probably getting suicidal in there right now”
“Y’know something Brian?”
“What?”
“I had a crush on your for four years, and now I think to myself, ‘Why did I do that?
He’s an even fucking bigger idiot than his friend in there” I pointed toward the living room.
“That is irrelevant right now” He said “You both need to stop this. You need to sit down and discuss it like adults before you say things you regret even more and you lose each other forever”
“Oh he’s already fucking lost me Brian, I can’t ever forgive him after that” I said getting hysterical now.
“Riley you need to calm down alright?” He came and sat down next to me on the bed. I was getting to the point of tears now when I was about to need my asthma inhaler if I didn’t calm down now. I reached for the drawer and pulled it out, Brian took it from me and took the cap off, he shook it and placed it in my mouth, pressing the button down I took a deep breath. After that my chest started to ease up.
I pushed away from Brian and went into the living room where Matt was sitting with Zacky on the sofa, a comforting hand placed on his shoulder and he cried into his hands. Matt glared up at me and it pissed me off again.
“Don’t fucking glare at me Matthew” I spat
“No Matt don’t make her pissed I just calmed her down” Brian whined.
“Shut up Brian!” I yelled, he winced at my noise levels. “Don’t you fucking get involved either this is between me and Zacky”
“Then fucking talk to him!”
“Um not while you two are here”
“I’m not leaving you two alone chances are you’ll kill each other” Brian said. I
shook my head.
“He fucking cheated on me, with his ex, I have nothing else to say to him other than he can fucking find someone else to share an apartment with”
“You can’t kick me out!” He said suddenly, standing up off the couch and turning around to face me.
“I never said I was kicking you out”
“But Riley you can’t leave me” He said moving to stand in front of me, cupping my face with his big hands.
“You should have thought of that before you fucked your ex-girlfriend Zacky” I said putting my hands over his as more tears dribbled down the both of our cheeks.
“But you didn’t”
“Riley please I’m begging you. Please don’t fucking leave me” He said pressing
me against the wall, Brian and Matt sat/stood there awkwardly as he said this “I love you so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything else in my life and I… Riley I’m scared that if you leave me right now I really will do something stupid”
“I’m not your keeper” I said
“No, you’re the woman I love, you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, underneath everything else you’re always the one that I’ll come back to because… what I feel for you… it just surpasses anything else I’ve ever felt for anyone and I can’t… I can’t even think about living without you… it hurts too much” He said
“Why’re you doing this to me Zacky, why do you make it hurt so much” I said
“I don’t mean to… Riley please, baby don’t leave me, please I’ll do anything”
“I’m not leaving I just… well they have to go for a start” I said, he turned to our
friends, giving them a pleading look, they nodded and stood without a word. Brian only stopped when he got to the door.
“Call us if you need anything” I nodded and they left.
“I love you Zacky, I’m just… I don’t know if I can do this” I said
“We don’t have to, just please, stay here tonight, just stay”
“Okay”
X-X-X
Knowing that Zacky had cheated on me was too much for me to handle, the fact that it’d been his ex-girlfriend that he’d fucked as well, it just hurt too much. And that’s where I found myself now, lying in the bath of hot water, still fully clothed, I’d already swallowed the bottle of pills, washed down by my good old friend Jack Daniels, everything was getting fuzzy now, I tried to focus as I pressed the razor against my skin, I hadn’t done this since I was a teenager, but fuck did it feel good.
***
Literally, can’t focus on anything now. Now it’s just black.
@Tones27tga
Life in technicolour :)
5/27/14