Things I Can Change

If You Only Knew Pt. II
Flashback Chapter*
2 Months Prior
April POV
I was in the kitchen listening to RHCP’s Give It Away while I was reading and cooking dinner. People find it difficult to read while listening to music but it helps me focus… For some reason that song just gets me in a better mood, I really needed to be in a better mood cause lately things between me and my fiancé Austin has gotten a little rocky.. Ok correction very rocky, like for example he Complains that I work too much so I cut back on my hours at the hospital, and then when I do that andI’m home he complains that I'm not there mentally.. So now it’s gotten to the point where I even wonder if I love him anymore, and I mean I really wonder if he even loves me anymore also, which kind of a disappointing feeling is when you’re with someone for 4 years and in the last four months gotten engaged things we’ve drifted apart to the point where don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore.. I just want things to be back where they were, but I highly doubt it.. Mostly cause a last week he hit me in the face causing the corner of my lip to bleed a little luckily no one noticed it. I work in a hospital so we get hit by some of the patients it’s happened a few times before, Austin lately seen the bruises so he thinks he can just use them as a cover for his own that he makes.. And I'm tired of it no woman or person should be treated like this especially by someone they love..

RHCP’s song is almost over so I used it as a timer cause I’m lazy and don’t want to dig through the drawers to look for the actual timer. The reason to the cooking is because I want to show Austin that things are still good and that I’m not going to lose him, I'm willing to fight for it, because I seems like I'm the only one trying to save us. And I’m quite frankly fucking tired of it.. I just want to set him straight the thing is I don’t know when to do it. If I do it before dinner then we will not be able to eat, if I do it while we eat dinner then it’ll be a conversation that’ll never really end and could end badly, doing it after dinner will be just as worse then while eating… I guess as time goes on I’ll figure it out.
*15Mins Later*
So I managed to pull the pork roast & potatoes with carrots out of the oven just in time before it burned and when Austin came home.. Luckily I have 5mins or so to spare so I have enough time to quickly change into something cause jean shorts and a Metallica Tee isn’t going to cut it.. So I put on jeans with a burgundy shirt and a black belt, I fix my hair to where it’s swept behind my right shoulder.. And I wait anxiously for him to show.. After waiting for an hour or so he finally shows up, I'm upset that he is late when I told him dinner was at 8:30 it’s now 9:45 dinner is still somewhat warm I don’t really feel like eating but mostly cause I'm nervous about how to confront him, and I also wasn’t hungry but I know he must be hungry, I hear him put his keys in the lock so I pull a beer out the fridge placing on a coaster on the dining table with plates and forks at the table I wait eagerly for him to walk through the door.

.He finally stumbles through the wooden door pulling his keys out of the lock slamming the door quite loudly making me jump in my seat at the table causing me to ask him “Where the hell have you been?” in a somewhat angry tone… He looks at me his eye look blood shot like he’s been drinking for a while, he walks over to me causing me catch my breath from the alcohol on his breath as well as perfume that isn’t mine… I follow him into the kitchen he stops turns and sees me and I ask him again trying not get louder with one hand on my hip the other one by my side “HELLO!! Where the fucking hell have you been, I had dinner made an hour ago,” now my other hand is pointing at the dining table “ and you just decide to come home fucking drunk and smelling like perfume that isn’t fucking mine I deserve a fucking goddamn answer!!!”

With that being said I knew that I would ultimately regret it, he walks over to me with fast pace both fists clenched, he places his hand over my mouth pushing me to the wall “YOU do NOT YELL AT ME IN MY FUCKING HOUSE !! Got It?!”Right then and there he punched me in the stomach he removed his hand from my mouth letting me fall to the ground in pain… Before he walked away he mumbled “Dumb Bitch.” And that was the final straw I had enough of this all my things were packed and in my car, I have my keys in my back pocket but I didn’t want to leave letting him think that this was all ok … I got up and lunged at him with all I had he was too busy looking at his phone he was facing me he didn’t see me, I used all my weight and I was on top of him I started punching me with all that I had he put his hands up telling me “Ok, now you want to play? Well let’s play..” he said while looking at me with this twisted look like he wanted this to all happen, and well quite frankly all I said was “Let’s play..” in a low dark tone.. He came at me and punched me in the face, ribs and my stomach again while I'm holding my sides and both of us breathing heavily.. He stops punching me long enough for me to grab the aluminum baseball bat in the corner that I left there ‘thank god I didn’t put that in the guest room’ as I see that bat I smile at that thought, picking up the bat and swing at him hitting his arm the holds his left upper arm in pain he lets out a yell “ FUCK!!” I swing again while I do I say “Batter Up!” like they do at some baseball games and swing at his lower left leg causing him to now fall to the cold tile on side back.. I see him in pain and in a way a very sick way it made me a little happy..

He looks at me with this look that says ‘ I dare you to continue’ so I challenge that look and standing closer to him I say “ How does it feel? Hmmm to have someone that you love hurt you?” and I'm looking down at him with a crooked smile he doesn’t answer, makes me think of all the times he hit me when I didn’t answer him so I hit him in his ribs “ That was for breaking 3 of my ribs,” I go for his other leg “that was for breaking my leg,” he yells in pain I hit him in the other leg near his ankle “ that was for the compound fracture and broken leg,’ once I see that he’s had enough I kick him as hard as I can in the stomach then kneeling closer to I get to his ear "And that was for making me lose the baby..” I say through gritted teeth.. He looks at me tiredly, with a look of regret and in a shit load of pain breathlessly he says “I'm Sorry.” I just look at him with this look of not really giving a shit or caring what he just said I waited to hear it and now that I’ve heard it doesn’t really do much..

“The thing is that ‘I'm Sorry ‘can’t do anything now, you just single-handily through 4 years away in a matter f two months and for what? To prove something .. I did all this to prove to you that I'm not just some worthless, selfish weak bitch that you think that I am. I'm not her anymore and I never will be,” I'm still kneeling next to him and say through gritted teeth “and if you ever fucking come near me again I will fucking kill you.. Understand Me?” he nods but I know that he won't let go of me that easily and to finally get rid of every memory of the life we once had together to take off the engagement ring off my finger and throw it at him it lands on his chest.. “Good-bye Austin, for good..” I walk out of the house and into my car and then AC/DC’s Highway To Hell starts to play as I'm saying good-bye to everything that I knew..

Notes

Hope you all enjoyed this one.. I know it's really freaking long but it took me two days, some & music to get me out of writer's block.. Hope you all enjoyed this one.. 766 views!! hells yea.. Thanks guys keep reading..
Title- Shinedown-If You Only Knew...
I LOVE YOU ALL..just incase you didn't know <3 you guys are FUCKIN Awesome..
Stay Avenged & Hail To The King <3