''Jimmy always referred to me as his second father, I am completely honoured to have gone by that role. He was somebody who just had a warmth and an easy smile and laugh, and he was as smart as they come. You could sit and talk to him about anything. He was a hard rocker with a gentle soul. He was a loving son and a loving brother, like no one you'd ever seen and talented beyond people's perception. He was expressive. He'd tell you how he felt about you. You didn't wonder, because he'd put his arm around you. He knew how to tell his friends he loved them."

A few tears escaped from Larry's eyes but his voice kept strong.

"Never in my life have I seen a relationship like the Avenged Sevenfold boys have. And I think the relationship the four have right now will help them get through this traumatic time."


A lot more words were said, by Jimmy's family, and more of his friends. I was sat in a pugh with the guys, Brian and Matt on either side of me. Both holding my hand as support. Tears were crashing down my face and I was shaking violently, I know Jimmy wouldn't want me to be this upset. He wouldn't want me to cry this hard over him.

I remember the day he had died.

I woke up from my peaceful slumber, Jimmy's arm still around me like always. I rolled over and kissed him. He felt cold. His lips no longer tasted of strawberries. I shook him and he made no response.

"Come on muffin man, your hangover can't be that bad." I giggled.

Usually Jimmy would put up a fight if the muffin man was mentioned while he was sleeping but he just laid there... lifeless. I sat up immediately and felt for a pulse, anything, nothing.

I froze for a few minutes before screaming.

He was gone, my Jimmy was gone.

All I remember after that was the guys rushing in asking what was wrong to see me cradling Jimmy's lifeless body, crying for him to wake up. The paramedics came and took him away from me, that's when I screamed and cried harder then I ever have.

They just put him in a body bag without letting me say goodbye. No final kiss, not one last embrace. They just stole him from me and expected me to be fine.


Johnny cradled me as I cried, rocking myself back and forth waiting to wake up from this nightmare. But it wasn't a nightmare,

It was real.

The rest of the guys were talking to police officers, explaining to them how I was in no state of mind to be questioned and that they would call and take me in when I had calmed down. The officers surprisingly agreed to let me off until I felt better. Could I ever feel better again? I stared down at my wedding finger, my 'Jimmy' tattoo making me smile. We both never believed in marriage so instead we got tattoo's of each others name on our wedding fingers, we both believed we were soul mates.

We still are.


I was distracted from my thoughts by everyone getting up from their seats and the guys walking to the coffin to carry it to the grave. They had insisted that all 4 of them carry it, with the help of Jimmy and Brian's father. Johnny had a hard time trying to reach it because the guys were holding it, but he found a way. They all oddly looked like an extremely strong group of friends again. The tears were hidden, just for this moment.

I walked behind them, quietly sobbing as Val and Michelle held my hands. With one on each side of me they gently wiped my tears every time they fell.


They are the best girl friends anyone could ask for, they were twins but their personalities were so different. Val was a lot more outgoing than Michelle and a lot less jealous. I have to admit, your partner being in the music business and fans not being subtle about their willingness to fuck them affected you tremendously. All the guys had had their fair share of groupies, but that's when they were alone. The guys wouldn't dream of doing it now, they were all so deeply in love. I just hope although he's gone, Jimmy is too.


The coffin was being lowered into the ground, we all said a prayer that the priest had given us a script for. The guys threw stuff in the grave for Jimmy, drum sticks, guitar picks, some photo's, a microphone. Stuff that they had given him. And then it was my turn. I had a box full of things, photo's of me and Jimmy, Jacob's ladder as it was his favourite film and the little things that made us, us.


We all stood watching him be lowered into the ground. Trying to be strong for each other. All I wanted to do was go down there with him, be with him, hold his hand. Jimmy loved the dark, he would lay with me and watch films until I feel asleep then he'd turn the TV off and just sit quietly in the darkness, enjoying every moment. Jimmy is extremely strange but that's what I love most about him, he is a complete individual and he didn't care if people judged him for it.