“Watson I’m going to kill you,” you whispered through your teeth when you had finally found Katie.

Where else was your new found friend but standing in all her glory of her strawberry blonde hair with blue tips, a teal hoodie, jean shorts brown tank top, and brown flip flops but at the barrel fire your brother was currently let bask in his self believed glory.

“Whaaat?” Katie asked with innocent eyes as she turned to you, a plate of food in her hands.

“Um, hi? Hello? Did someone forget to check in after their ever so secret mission of utmost Sherlock-y importance?” you asked with a wild wiggle of your eyebrows, just to show that you in fact weren’t totally serious about being grumpy.

“Oh yeah! My phone hasn’t liked sending texts recently, real touch and go. But I sent it to you I swear, it just must not have reached your phone. Look, here’s the text in my outbox!” Katie replied as she dug out her cell phone and clicked over to the saved text.

“Oh. Huh. My phone does that too, no biggie,” you said with a shrug as you stole a marinated mushroom off Katie’s plate and popped it into your mouth.

“So what’s the scoop?” you asked with your mouth full as Katie scowled at you and held her plate away from you.

“Total cutie. Up your alley. Few tattoos that I could see. Lip pierced, but lord knows he could have more and I certainly wasn’t going to ask to see if there were others! Dark haired, dark eyed. Someone said that he was turning 30, so again, good for you. But uh, don’t ask him to open his mouth,” Katie said with a sheepish look.

“What do you mean?” you asked before signaling to your brother beside Katie and opening your mouth wide for the marinated mushroom he had stolen off Katie’s plate and arched to you over her head.

“Hey! Those are mine! And I say not to have him open his mouth because apparently he’s all looks and no brains,” Katie replied, the last part a whisper like she didn’t want anyone to hear.

“Well that’s a bummer. But hey, whoever said he had to talk for what I wanted him for. That’s what ball gags are for,” you said with a sly wink.

“What’s a ball gag?” Katie asked with a dubious lifted eyebrow.

“What? Oh my,” you choked out, almost asphyxiating on the third marinated mushroom you had stolen from Katie’s plate. But apparently, in Katie’s eyebrow lifting escapades she failed to miss your theft or the lightening load of her plate as your brother also stole off her paper plate of goodies.

“Hey bro, tell Katie dearest here what a ball gag is and what exactly it can be used for. Then ask her what exactly she’ll do for goldfish crackers,” you shot over your shoulder as you decided to go track down this only mostly mysterious roadie, that and you wanted to be out of Katie’s fist range.

Which as you looked over your shoulder didn’t seem to matter any more as Katie was once again doing her impression of a sun ripened tomato. While your brother seemed to be wiggling his eyebrows at her in ways that made you roll your eyes and fake gagging. Brothers! Couldn’t live with them and damn well didn’t miss them when they were gone! Mostly.
-xXx-
“Have you seen this apparent birthday boy or have I just gone blind?” you asked Jimmy as he had sidled up to where you stood between two buffet tables, one had food and the other beer.

“Kales have you moved since you found these tables?” Jimmy asked as skewered a tiny mozzarella ball from a bowl.

“Maybe,” you replied, following it with a healthy burp. Not quite belch status but hey, you were in mixed company.

“Kales Mae, all the marinated mushrooms are gone,” Jimmy accused as he pointed to the very empty platter where the marinated mushrooms had once lived.

“Hey! Katie had some!” you shouted back in your own defense.

“And I heard that you and your brother helped yourselves to them. Mostly you,” Jimmy scolded, shaking his finger at you.

“Oops?” you asked with innocent shoulders held high, making doe eyes at your best friend.

“And what’s this about having your brother tell Katie about the usage of ball gags? I had to beat your brother half way across the parking lot before she would even descend out of code red mode!” Jimmy exasperated as he threw his hands up accusingly.

“Double oops?” you squeaked as you tried to shrink to half your size.

“Mhm. Shrink little evil one, shrink I say!” Jimmy belted out like he was all high and mighty.

You shrank. About as far as your pants would let you. And then you decided to get up and stop the groveling. Groveling so wasn’t you these days you decided.

“Okay, okay. I give. Slap my knuckles before I leave and I’ll write my lesson one hundred times on the blackboard next time we come across one. Now if this is done I’m going to find me a hot, slightly less intelligent roadie to wish an extra happy birthday to,” you said with an over sized wink you shot Jimmy’s way.

“Hey Kales dear, how many drinks have you had?” Jimmy called out after you.

“Just enough as to where lack of intelligence isn’t a problem. Mostly!” you called back as you raised the flask of Jack you had taken from Johnny the last time he had passed your way at the buffet tables.

“Oh good grief,” Jimmy sighed as he shook his head as you sauntered off on the hunt.
-xXx-
“And so she said, lift this for me. So I did. I knew she wanted me after that, that’s why she asked me to lift her bags for her,” Mark spewed to those gathered around him, retelling the highlights of his life as he every now and then flexed his muscles.

You groaned and realized you were all out of Jack, the empty flask sitting in your bag, and there was no one you could snag a beer from. That was not good as you realized that this roadie was going to take more alcohol to deal with than you had originally thought. Katie had been right, he should never open his mouth. Smiling sweetly at him when he caught your eye you waited until he looked away, probably to relate another one of his thrilling stories about his muscles, before slipping away from the group of birthday well wishers.

“I totally need more alcohol for this,” you groaned as you waved and smiled at people you knew as you wove your way through the crowd that had gathered for the festivities. Your balloons were strung up on invisible something or other up in the air, criss crossing in hectic patterns. It looked cool, especially with all the Tiki lights and fires going.

Pushing through the crowds made you even stickier than you were already were from the god awful humidity. Looking for a break from the intensity you snuck between two buses, whose you didn’t know nor care, and breathed a breath of fresh air. Or as fresh as the weather would allow, at least you weren’t smothered by sweaty people at the moment. Taking a moment you leaned against one of the buses and let your body relax as you got out a cigarette from the pack floating around in your bag that was turning out to be worse than Mary Poppins’s bag. Cigarette between your teeth you went back into the black hole that your bag had turned into, even though there was barely anything in it, and searched for your lighter. So intent on your searching you missed the tell tale sound of feet approaching on the crunchy gravel around you. Looking up from your bag your mouth dropped open, your for now forgotten cigarette falling to the ground below.

“Happy birthday!” a very excited voice shouted in front of you.

The overly excited, and more than likely trashed, birthday wisher didn’t give you a chance to gather your wits about you. They grabbed either side of your face in their oddly cool hands and smashed their lips against yours. And they didn’t just press them, they kissed you. They full on kissed you like they were drowning. It wasn’t sloppy, as the obvious intoxicated state of the kisser would lead you to believe, but it was still that type drunk intense. He just kissed and kissed you as you could do nothing but stand there, not responding. It didn’t click in your brain till you felt him press his body against yours, trying ever so slowly to mold the two of your bodies into one. You could feel the lean solid muscles of his body, hot from the humidity, through the softness of his button up flannel shirt and loose tie. It was the press of his body, the way your mind picked out every detail of what his body was under his clothes that jump started you back to reality. Placing your hands on his chest you pushed him off you.

“It’s not my birthday Zacky!” you yelled in disgust, though you hadn’t pushed him as far away as you could have.

“I know,” was all Zacky replied, half in a drunk haze and he smiled lazily at you.

“But I didn’t give you one on your birthday! I haven’t given you one on your birthday in. . . in. . . in. . .” Zacky mumbled off in his train of thought, as if he couldn’t find the memory.

“EVER!” you shouted in disgust and shock. “What was he thinking!” was all your brain could scream.

Your shouted response shocked Zacky in his mental tracks and he gave you a confused look, as if he didn’t know what you were talking about. As if you were the one talking crazy and not him. You watched him open and close his mouth as if he wanted to say something, anything. Your breath almost caught in your throat when it looked like he might actually say something but he only just closed his mouth and you knew he wasn’t going to speak. Mainly because you heard drunken shouts from the party, most of them calling him by his name quite loudly. At the sound of his name Zacky paused once more, looked at you confused and then turned and drunkenly meandered off towards those calling for his presence. Standing in complete and utter shock you watched his form stumble and disappear into the lights and crowds. Slowly, ever so slowly, you raised your hand to your lips and touched them ever so slightly with your fingers.

“Never. . .” you whispered bitterly.

Whether your bitterness was at Zacky for doing it or for possibly not ever doing it on your birthday you weren’t sure. But before you could think on it more you shook your head to settle the roiling of your stomach.

“Good god I need a piece of roadie ass!” you called out to no one but your conscious. Pushing yourself up off the bus you were still leaning against you went to go find the unintelligent roadie, wondering where you put your ball gag.

Notes

Awkward not your birthday Happy Birthday drunken kiss!!!