“Brian is my spirit animal, Jonathan, not a gazelle! I’m not Gerard fucking Way, thought that would be pretty damn awesome” Jimmy cried over the top of the other voices in the bar, watching the crowd part as Zacky and Brian walked through. Zacky had his hand tucked into the back pocket of Brian’s jeans, yet Jimmy was still distracted. Despite Johnny claiming his spirit animal was a gazelle, and that watching him in a bar was like watching an animal in the middle of the jungle- he had been quick to differ. He’d always seen Brian as his spirit animal.

“It’s nice to know I’m appreciated by my colleagues. Hey Joe, can we get a bottle of champagne over here?” Brian said with a smile, slipping onto their booth and yelling at his favourite waiter to break open a bottle of something expensive. As long necked glasses were set down on the table and a green bottle put beside it, Jimmy turned to look at his two best friends.
“So what’s the celebration? You know I can’t get drunk on this fizzy crap” Jimmy asked, downing one glass in one swallow and leaning back in the deep red leather.

“James Owen Sullivan, you can get drunk on absolutely anything. And we’re celebrating because…” Brian said as he rolled his eyes and looked over at Zacky, who blushed and held out his hand.
“We’re getting married!”

Both Jimmy and Johnny burst into yells of happiness and Jimmy jumped over the table and into his best friends arms, hugging him tightly.
“My spirit animal has a mate! But now I feel sad because I’m never gonna get a threesome with you and Mila Kunis!” Jimmy said a little sadly and Zacky’s eyes widened.
“Mila Kunis? Really?” Zacky asked and Brian blushed furiously, downing his drink without saying another word.

“Wow…married. Jeez, guys that’s a big step. Makes me realise how we’re fast we’re growing up” Johnny said wisely, taking another sip of his beer and leaning back in the booth.
“Not me! I’m going to be young forever, because teaching Kindergarten keeps me that way!” Jimmy announced happily, watching his friends smile at him.

“That’s because you have the mentality of a five year old, Jim. Anyway- would you care to explain why I heard your kids yelling when I was trying to teach mine about Roosevelt?” Brian asked, slinging his arm around his now fiancé, and gesturing to the bartender for another beer. Zacky paid their tab, seeing as he was the one with the most money out of the three of them. He had his own business, a clothing line called Vengeance University, and many of the kids in Jimmy’s kindergarten class had asked him about the shirts. Zacky had even come in and talked on careers day about what he did.

“Two of the kids started fighting about who was better, Princesses or Crocodiles with lightsabers, and I said they could be both. After that it got a little complicated, but in conclusion- I’m now known as Princess Jimmy by all my students and half the faculty” Jimmy said matter of factly and his friends burst out laughing, smiling over at him.
It wasn’t a night for getting drunk, or for forgetting. It was for celebration- because love was happening.

Yet Jimmy couldn’t help but wonder- how long would it be before he found something like Brian and Zacky had?

***

“Kennedy? Are you going to get out of the car?”

Matt’s stubborn child shook her head, folding her arms over her chest. At four years old, she visited her father in the prison once a month, and because his parents came on a different day, Jimmy was the one who brought Kennedy with him when he visited Matt. Jimmy loved Kennedy like his own child, hell, he’d offered to look after her while Matt was in prison, and though he let him look after her for a while- the Sanders’ had decided it was better to let his daughter be with her family.
That and he had been trying to teach her how to play poker.

He sighed and crouched down a little, so we has eye level with Kennedy. He knew that was exactly what children wanted, they wanted to see you at their own level rather than having to look up to you.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Are you gonna tell your Uncle Jimmy why you won’t go and see your daddy?” Jimmy asked softly, and with a little stare at her, she unfolded her arms and looked down at her pink sandaled feet.

“I want Daddy to be at home. Why do I have to be with Grammy and Granddad- why can’t Daddy take me to school and cook me pasta?” she asked as he unbuckled the safety belt around her car seat, gently lifting her up into his arms. It was a touchy subject talking about why Matt was in prison, and he wasn’t going to explain it to her properly for a good while yet. But being a person who loved and worked with children, he knew how to handle it.

“Sweetheart, your Daddy has to be here because your mommy was a bad person, and he has to be here until she says sorry”
“If Mommy’s a bad person- does that make me a bad person too?” Kennedy asked as he locked the car, carrying her over to the shadowed, grey brick building. Her face was scrunching up a little, almost as if she was going to start crying.

“Of course not sweetheart. Why you’re the kindest, sweetest, most intelligent little girl I know. Kennedy Sanders you are the exact opposite of your mom, and that’s why your Daddy loves you so much” he explained, wiping away a little escaping tear from her hazel eyes and walking up to the registry desk.
The guard barely looked up from his newspaper.

“Fill in the form. Visitors passes are on the side, a guard will take you to your chosen inmate shortly”
Jimmy quickly filled in the forms, picking up too visitors passes and stringing one over his neck and one over Kennedy’s as one of the guards strolled up to the desk. He took one look at the forms Jimmy had filled in, and then beckoned the two of them towards a different room.

“As a reward for good behaviour, Matthew has been allowed a visitor in the same room as him. This usually happens before prisoners are released on probation” he said as he pushed open the door, and sitting at a small plastic table was Matt.

“DADDY!” Kennedy cried as she jumped out of Jimmy’s arms and ran over to her father, hugging his knees as tightly as she could. Jimmy could see little tears spark from Matt’s eyes as he picked his daughter up and span her around, holding her close to his chest. He didn’t realise his friend was weeping until he put his daughter down on his lap, kissing her hair softly.
"Did you miss me Princess? Because I missed you so, so much. How was your ballet recital- did you show the rest of the kids up?"
"YEAH! Just like you told me to! Uncle Jimmy was behind the stage filming me and he fell into the scenery and crushed Mrs Jones!" Kennedy announced happily as Jimmy grimaced.

He still had nightmares about falling on that old lady. It had been an honest accident- the tree had been the way.

“Good behaviour, huh? Nice work Sanders. I don’t think I’ve ever heard those two words in a sentence since grade school” Jimmy smirked as the two men embraced, slipping down onto two plastic chairs that reminded Jimmy of the ones his kids sat on in class.
“Well what can I say? The sooner I can get out of here and be a proper family with my little Princess here, the better” Matt said as he held his daughters tiny hands in his, watching as she curled up in his arms, clutching to his orange and white uniform. Jimmy knew it was going to be hard to get her to leave him again.

“So tell me news! What’s been going on?” Matt asked, bouncing Kennedy on his knee a little. He was prone to fidgeting, but unlike Jimmy, could keep still for longer than ten seconds.
“Well, Brian and Zacky just got engaged!”

“Oh my god…that’s amazing! He certainly took his time didn’t he- I mean, he had the ring when I got thrown in here. And what about you Jim Jam- anyone special for you?”

Jimmy looked down at his feet. Matt was the only one who knew about what had happened to him, the only one who had threatened to tell everyone else if Jimmy didn’t get off his ass and start to forget about it. But he’d never let the secret slip from his throat if it meant Jimmy being happy.
“No. Not yet”

“Jim…you know you have to move on from her. She was no good for you, and all she did was hurt you. You need someone who’s going to love you as much as you love her” Matt said softly, and Jimmy swallowed, unsure of what to say next.
Matt was the only one. The only one who knew about his only love.

Gabriella.