“Who’s ready for Finger Painting- Extreme Ninja Style!?”

His classroom filled with the delighted roars of four year old children, and Jimmy Sullivan smiled as he danced between the tiny tables like he was a professional, dropping the little palettes of paint in the centre and letting the kids go crazy on their construction paper.

He loved being a kindergarten teacher. In kindergarten, everything was awesome. You only had to be able to know the alphabet, count up to a hundred and write at least your name and you were sorted for a whole year. It was only when you got to first grade that you actually had to do some work, and that shit was boring as hell- so he’d give the kindergarteners a year of fun and happiness before they got sucked into the horrible world of school.

As he walked back over to his desk, flopping down onto the blue seat, he tugged at his jeans and glanced at his computer, which told him he had a new message from across the hall.

Across the hall, was where second grade was, and where his best friend Brian Haner, taught a class. The man was a music freak, much like Jimmy, and though he had to teach the other boring subjects, like Math and English- he loved to talk in great detail and passion about the rock bands he listened to. He was almost like Jack Black in School Of Rock- he’d even given one kid Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’ to listen to for homework.

‘Get together at Johnny’s tonight? Zee and I have some news for you all’ the message read and Jimmy smiled, only glancing up from the screen to check that none of the kids were eating the paint again. He did not need another trip to the emergency room fucking up his CV- that little escapade two years ago almost got him fired. Not that it hadn’t been hilarious, because it had. Even the kid had found it funny in the end.

Zee, or Zacky as he was better known, was Brian’s boyfriend and had been for just about six years now. The two of them had been introduced by Jimmy, who’d known both of them throughout high school. While Brian hung out at the private one, Jimmy and Zacky had torn up Huntington Beach High with Matt, who was currently doing time in the county penitentiary.

It hadn’t been for anything bad, he’d just stolen a few things for his then girlfriend. She’d been a gold digger who’d threatened to leave him and their unborn child if she didn’t get what she wanted, and when he didn’t have the money, he stole it. He wanted to make her happy, because as they say, love is blind.

That’s what got him in prison. She'd left the baby with him and ran off to Los Angeles with a wealthy businessman without a second thought to Matt and the little daughter she'd left behind. She lived with her grandparents now. Jimmy still visited him every two weeks, just like the visiting rules said he could do, and every time he brought news with him, and the little things that inmates were allowed. Only another month and Matt would be on probation, and he’d be allowed to come home again.

‘Count me in. It’s Friday- I need to get so drunk I can’t see my own dick’ Jimmy sent back, looking up just in time to see one of the kids smearing purple paint down the girl next to him and all over her outfit, which he'd thought made her look a little angelic when she walked in with her mother that morning.

“Now Alex, you know we don’t do that” he said sternly as he walked over to their table, kneeling down to their height and glancing over at the damage done. It seemed like the kid had been going to down on the little girls dress, which annoyingly, had been a pristine white and yellow when she walked in. That was no more, however.

“What do you say to Kaylee, Alex?” he asked, looking between the two children. He liked how he could be firm but fair with them, and they still adored him.
“Sorry Kaylee” Alex said and Jimmy ruffled his hair, pointing over at the picture. It looked like some sort of shark, because there were triangular shapes coming out of what looked like a mouth, but with four year olds, you could never be too sure.

“What are you drawing there buddy? Is it a shark?” he asked and Alex laughed, shaking his head and pointing at the main body of the…thing. Well there really wasn’t a better word for it.
“No! It’s a crocodile, Mr Sullivan! Can’t you see the big teeth and the big feet, just like you told us in the story!” Alex said, pointing out the features he still couldn’t quite see. So instead he nodded like her understood and then turned to Kaylee, who was cautiously dipping her finger into the bright pink paint.

“What about you, Kaylee? What are you painting today?”
“I’m painting a princess castle where I live. It’s all pink and inside there’s loads of shoes and clothes and makeup that my mommy won’t let me wear” Kaylee said matter of factly and Jimmy put his hand on his heart, sighing.
“Why isn’t that beautiful? Is there room for me to come and live there, because this castle sounds like a wonderful place to live” he asked and she nodded, giggling when he tickled her a little and shying away from him.

“But princesses are for cissy’s! Mr Sullivan should be a big strong night with a lightsaber!” Alex announced, much to the agreement of the other boys around the bright blue circular table.
“They are NOT! He can be a princess too!” Alex said back, crossing her arms over her little chest.
That kid was going to be a lawyer when she grew up, he just knew it.

“Now come on you two. Who says I can’t be a princess who fights of all the bad guys with a lightsaber? You know you can be whatever you want to be- and I wanna be a princess that fights with a lightsaber!” Jimmy announced, jumping up and running over to the dressing up box where he pulled out the broken Star Wars toy and the pink fairy wings, which he strapped onto his back before he began to dance around the room, waving his weapon everywhere.

“I am Princess Jimmy and I live in a pink castle with five hundred rooms. And I have a lightsaber- so I can fight inter-galactic wars when I’m not having afternoon tea with Mr Haner across the hall!” Jimmy cried happily as he watched the children laugh at him, drawing their attention away from their masterpieces.

“Alright kiddiewinks, lets see if you can finish these paintings before hometime, OK?” he said, pointing his lightsaber at each one of the tables.

Every child bent there head down and began to work furiously on their paintings at Mr Sullivan’s command and he flopped back down into his chair, seeing that Brian had sent him another message back that even he couldn’t repeat to himself, it was that disgusting. Crossing his arms, he leant back in his chair and watched the class of little people work.

Another group of children well corrupted, by none other than Jimmy Sullivan himself.

Or Princess Jimmy, as everyone was going to start calling him.