Love Has No Limits
Critical Acclaim
*Lilith's Point Of View*
You know what hurts the most is that Matt doesn't even know she is his and i have to hide it. They've been home for about a week now and its still alittle bit rocky but its slowly getting better.You wanna know what else hurts allot is that Zacky hasn't even asked her name or to even hold her its like he wants nothing to do with his niece ,now with Matt its a whole different story.He always is around and its only been a week and a half .Its truly amazing how he comes home sees i have a kid and just decides to be here for me .Of course he asks who the father is but i just tell him its not important or you wouldn't know him.Sure it really sucks because i want Nova to know who her father is and with only being a young 2 months old its like i need the help and im grateful for what Matt is doing but he isn't doing it as a father he still think he is just an uncle. I honestly do not know when ill tell him but im hoping its soon...
Currently its Wednesday 6 am and i just got up for work i know i shouldn't be working but i needed to buy Nova her essential needs and that caused me to go to work two weeks ago . When i leave at eight in the morning its rough i miss my baby and i don't like leaving her with my friend. Not that my friend is a bad person its just i wasn't supposed to go back to work until she was i think 5 or 6 months but i begged my boss,Leroy, to let me work and with hesitation he said yes i can . Which is good but at the same time bad.My baby girl needs her mommy and i cant be there for her,but i just think to myself that im doing whats best for her.It's one of those things were you know you shouldn't but you have too you gotta do what you gotta do to feed your child and that what im doing i get paid 24 dollars an hour and i work an 8 hour shift so i bring home 960 dollars every two weeks but that goes to car payments,phone payments,baby clothes,diapers,wipes,baby oil, baby lotion, baby shampoo,baby wash,etc.Plus i help with groceries every month and pay my friend 65 dollars a week to watch Nova. Its really hard on me right now. I mean Zacky pays the bills and pays the house payments and stuff like that.He also buys food but he doesn't help me at all , well he did before but i don't think he will now he doesn't even really talk to me anymore. That really hurts like more than you will ever know,but family is family and i still love him .......
I dressed Nova in a cute little footie onsie , with an adorable kittie sweater,some little booties and a baby beanie, its December which means its really cold .You would think it would warm living in California but no this winter is freezing . I dressed myself in a pair of skinny jeans and Asking Alexandria sweater . With my hair and makeup done i went and put Nova in her car seat grabbed : my keys, phone,diaper bag, and purse. I slipped on my old converse and headed off to work, well first i dropped off Nova of course.I got to work with ten minutes before we opened shop,which means Mike,Darren,Marcy,Ben,and Beau are all already there .Nothing against them i just kinda wanted to be there earlier so i could get some sketches worked on. The warm air hit me as i walked in everyone looked at me .Okay then ........
You know the weather out here is weird yesterday it was kinda warm and today its freezing.Anyways i went to my station and set up making sure everything was clean and sterilized made sure my sketches for the clients were done for today i also made sure i had ink for everything. I set up my tattoo gun and made sure it was working correctly.Okay now im all set for the day of work . I love working here its my favorite job i have had in my 19 years of existence and its amazing ive only been tattooing since i was 15 and im doing this good it makes me happy.
"So Lilith how is everything going at home" i heard from behind the counter i looked and saw Ben smiling at me .
"As good as it can go with a brother who isn't talking to you and a father of my child who thinks he is an uncle to their own child" i rolled my eyes as i said it.Saying it sounds so much differently then only thinking it .
"Well sweetheart why don't you just talk to your brother i can almost promise you he will understand.As for Matt just tell him "
"First of all talking to Zacky will mean i will have to tell him who the father of my child is and that would mean he would be pissed about me and Matt and that would lead to him making it where i cant see him.As for Matt if i tell him he will tell Zacky and scenario one will happen just worse for me telling Matt before i told him" Not gonna lie getting all of this off of my chest.
Ben looked astonished at all of this
"I honestly highly doubt your brother will do that"he said and walked to his station
"you obviously don't know him very well" i muttered and cleaned my needle once again The one things im OCD about is making sure my work equipment is very clean and sterilized because if it isn't then you can get diseases infections and the tattoo will come out looking like shit.
After a long day of work i went and got a large Mocha Frappucino and then i headed off to go get my baby girl.For some strange reason i felt really stressed today i have no clue what it was but it needed to go away i hate feeling stressed out.When i got my beautiful baby girl i felt all my stress fade looking into her beautiful hazel/green eyes i felt my stress just float away .When i look into my baby girls eyes i see innocence beauty and joy ,although she was an accident i still love her with all my heart and i wouldn't have it any other way i love being able to wake up and see my baby. I thanked my friend for watching her and headed home.At home i carried her car seat home and saw that Johnny,Jimmy,and Brian were over there also.Great now i have to explain my baby to them ..
"Hey" Matt said as i walked through the door.All i could do was nod as a response since i was struggling to carry her car seat my purse her diaper bag and this big stuffed giraffe my friend bought her . When i brought Nova through those doors it got awkward not gonna lie Zacky looked down and the rest ,well besides Matt, look confused and dumbfounded. Zacky looking down really hurt knowing the fact that he cant even look at me that really hurts i know i screwed up now telling him but i had my reasons and those i will admit were stupid reasons but i did what was best for them and kept it a secret .Yes im highly aware i shouldn't of i should've told Matt about his child and should've told Zacky about his niece ......
I can honestly say the house has never been so tense and awkward then now .I have only been home for about an hour and Zacky still hasn't said anything ,Matt is by my side like usual and the rest are still trying to except the fact that i have a child. It really isn't that hard to understand ...I had sex , we didn't use protection, and not surprisingly i got pregnant .I swear these guys can be such idiots sometime. As of right now me and Matt are in my room.We are watching Big Bang Theory while im feeding and changing Nova. it was nice we are laughing and joking as if nothing ever happened between us .Often my mind wonders what it would be like to be able to be in his arms .His big strong beautiful tattooed arms alright no more thinking like that haha .My mind also goes to the fact if he remember the night we had sex .In a sense i wish he did but at the same time i don't want him to because Matt isn't stupid and if he remembers then he might put everything together and realize she is his .Honestly i don't know how he hasn't realized it because she has his eyes and his nose and his hair .I will never understand men
"Lilith" he asked well said in a more questioning sentence .
"yea Matt?" i said kinda answering his question slash sentence
"she is mine isn't she" he asked my heart dropped my throat felt dry and suddenly it got real quiet and real tense
"what do you mean" i nervously asked eventhough i knew exactly what he meant
"Dont play stupid with me ow answer me" i looked down .A couple tears rolling down my cheek.
"yes Matt she is" It was hard to say my throat had a huge lump in it
"I knew it why didn't you tell me "he said sounding hurt.
" I didn't want to ruin your career and Zacky omygod Zacky would be so pissed im sorry Matt "i said crying quietly while looking down .I soon realized Nova was sleeping so i got up and put her in her swing.
"I could've helped you out more sweetie this is my child too and no matter what ill love her and ill love you just like ive always had"he said then froze after realizing what he said he opened his mouth then closed it
"you love me?" my voice breaking slightly as i said this
"yea i do" he said and then put his head in his hands sighing loudly
"i love you too"i said its true ive always had
"I just cant belive i have a daughter" smiling he looked at me
"well you better because this is serious"
"i know and ill always be here s her father "he said then hugged me
After telling him we sat and talked and figured everything out .We decided him and me would take everything slow and wait to tell Zacky till i fix everything between him and me.Honestly i believe that is a really good idea so i agreed. As for being a mother and a father we not doing slplit and shit because we live together and its just stupid .Right now him and me are laying together on my queen size bed we are both laying on one side with Nova in the middle of us .We are watching a Beavis and Butthead marathon on MTV.I could feel my eyes droop close and before i knew it i was in a world of dreams ....
You know what hurts the most is that Matt doesn't even know she is his and i have to hide it. They've been home for about a week now and its still alittle bit rocky but its slowly getting better.You wanna know what else hurts allot is that Zacky hasn't even asked her name or to even hold her its like he wants nothing to do with his niece ,now with Matt its a whole different story.He always is around and its only been a week and a half .Its truly amazing how he comes home sees i have a kid and just decides to be here for me .Of course he asks who the father is but i just tell him its not important or you wouldn't know him.Sure it really sucks because i want Nova to know who her father is and with only being a young 2 months old its like i need the help and im grateful for what Matt is doing but he isn't doing it as a father he still think he is just an uncle. I honestly do not know when ill tell him but im hoping its soon...
Currently its Wednesday 6 am and i just got up for work i know i shouldn't be working but i needed to buy Nova her essential needs and that caused me to go to work two weeks ago . When i leave at eight in the morning its rough i miss my baby and i don't like leaving her with my friend. Not that my friend is a bad person its just i wasn't supposed to go back to work until she was i think 5 or 6 months but i begged my boss,Leroy, to let me work and with hesitation he said yes i can . Which is good but at the same time bad.My baby girl needs her mommy and i cant be there for her,but i just think to myself that im doing whats best for her.It's one of those things were you know you shouldn't but you have too you gotta do what you gotta do to feed your child and that what im doing i get paid 24 dollars an hour and i work an 8 hour shift so i bring home 960 dollars every two weeks but that goes to car payments,phone payments,baby clothes,diapers,wipes,baby oil, baby lotion, baby shampoo,baby wash,etc.Plus i help with groceries every month and pay my friend 65 dollars a week to watch Nova. Its really hard on me right now. I mean Zacky pays the bills and pays the house payments and stuff like that.He also buys food but he doesn't help me at all , well he did before but i don't think he will now he doesn't even really talk to me anymore. That really hurts like more than you will ever know,but family is family and i still love him .......
I dressed Nova in a cute little footie onsie , with an adorable kittie sweater,some little booties and a baby beanie, its December which means its really cold .You would think it would warm living in California but no this winter is freezing . I dressed myself in a pair of skinny jeans and Asking Alexandria sweater . With my hair and makeup done i went and put Nova in her car seat grabbed : my keys, phone,diaper bag, and purse. I slipped on my old converse and headed off to work, well first i dropped off Nova of course.I got to work with ten minutes before we opened shop,which means Mike,Darren,Marcy,Ben,and Beau are all already there .Nothing against them i just kinda wanted to be there earlier so i could get some sketches worked on. The warm air hit me as i walked in everyone looked at me .Okay then ........
You know the weather out here is weird yesterday it was kinda warm and today its freezing.Anyways i went to my station and set up making sure everything was clean and sterilized made sure my sketches for the clients were done for today i also made sure i had ink for everything. I set up my tattoo gun and made sure it was working correctly.Okay now im all set for the day of work . I love working here its my favorite job i have had in my 19 years of existence and its amazing ive only been tattooing since i was 15 and im doing this good it makes me happy.
"So Lilith how is everything going at home" i heard from behind the counter i looked and saw Ben smiling at me .
"As good as it can go with a brother who isn't talking to you and a father of my child who thinks he is an uncle to their own child" i rolled my eyes as i said it.Saying it sounds so much differently then only thinking it .
"Well sweetheart why don't you just talk to your brother i can almost promise you he will understand.As for Matt just tell him "
"First of all talking to Zacky will mean i will have to tell him who the father of my child is and that would mean he would be pissed about me and Matt and that would lead to him making it where i cant see him.As for Matt if i tell him he will tell Zacky and scenario one will happen just worse for me telling Matt before i told him" Not gonna lie getting all of this off of my chest.
Ben looked astonished at all of this
"I honestly highly doubt your brother will do that"he said and walked to his station
"you obviously don't know him very well" i muttered and cleaned my needle once again The one things im OCD about is making sure my work equipment is very clean and sterilized because if it isn't then you can get diseases infections and the tattoo will come out looking like shit.
After a long day of work i went and got a large Mocha Frappucino and then i headed off to go get my baby girl.For some strange reason i felt really stressed today i have no clue what it was but it needed to go away i hate feeling stressed out.When i got my beautiful baby girl i felt all my stress fade looking into her beautiful hazel/green eyes i felt my stress just float away .When i look into my baby girls eyes i see innocence beauty and joy ,although she was an accident i still love her with all my heart and i wouldn't have it any other way i love being able to wake up and see my baby. I thanked my friend for watching her and headed home.At home i carried her car seat home and saw that Johnny,Jimmy,and Brian were over there also.Great now i have to explain my baby to them ..
"Hey" Matt said as i walked through the door.All i could do was nod as a response since i was struggling to carry her car seat my purse her diaper bag and this big stuffed giraffe my friend bought her . When i brought Nova through those doors it got awkward not gonna lie Zacky looked down and the rest ,well besides Matt, look confused and dumbfounded. Zacky looking down really hurt knowing the fact that he cant even look at me that really hurts i know i screwed up now telling him but i had my reasons and those i will admit were stupid reasons but i did what was best for them and kept it a secret .Yes im highly aware i shouldn't of i should've told Matt about his child and should've told Zacky about his niece ......
I can honestly say the house has never been so tense and awkward then now .I have only been home for about an hour and Zacky still hasn't said anything ,Matt is by my side like usual and the rest are still trying to except the fact that i have a child. It really isn't that hard to understand ...I had sex , we didn't use protection, and not surprisingly i got pregnant .I swear these guys can be such idiots sometime. As of right now me and Matt are in my room.We are watching Big Bang Theory while im feeding and changing Nova. it was nice we are laughing and joking as if nothing ever happened between us .Often my mind wonders what it would be like to be able to be in his arms .His big strong beautiful tattooed arms alright no more thinking like that haha .My mind also goes to the fact if he remember the night we had sex .In a sense i wish he did but at the same time i don't want him to because Matt isn't stupid and if he remembers then he might put everything together and realize she is his .Honestly i don't know how he hasn't realized it because she has his eyes and his nose and his hair .I will never understand men
"Lilith" he asked well said in a more questioning sentence .
"yea Matt?" i said kinda answering his question slash sentence
"she is mine isn't she" he asked my heart dropped my throat felt dry and suddenly it got real quiet and real tense
"what do you mean" i nervously asked eventhough i knew exactly what he meant
"Dont play stupid with me ow answer me" i looked down .A couple tears rolling down my cheek.
"yes Matt she is" It was hard to say my throat had a huge lump in it
"I knew it why didn't you tell me "he said sounding hurt.
" I didn't want to ruin your career and Zacky omygod Zacky would be so pissed im sorry Matt "i said crying quietly while looking down .I soon realized Nova was sleeping so i got up and put her in her swing.
"I could've helped you out more sweetie this is my child too and no matter what ill love her and ill love you just like ive always had"he said then froze after realizing what he said he opened his mouth then closed it
"you love me?" my voice breaking slightly as i said this
"yea i do" he said and then put his head in his hands sighing loudly
"i love you too"i said its true ive always had
"I just cant belive i have a daughter" smiling he looked at me
"well you better because this is serious"
"i know and ill always be here s her father "he said then hugged me
After telling him we sat and talked and figured everything out .We decided him and me would take everything slow and wait to tell Zacky till i fix everything between him and me.Honestly i believe that is a really good idea so i agreed. As for being a mother and a father we not doing slplit and shit because we live together and its just stupid .Right now him and me are laying together on my queen size bed we are both laying on one side with Nova in the middle of us .We are watching a Beavis and Butthead marathon on MTV.I could feel my eyes droop close and before i knew it i was in a world of dreams ....
yus of course i was planning that cx
9/28/13