I woke up around five in the morning which gave me more than enough time to get ready and get over to Logan airport. In total, I got about an hour of sleep last night. I was running on empty. I pushed myself because of Matt. I would give anything just to see his face which would happen in about six hours, give or take. I was excited, but at the same time nervous. I wondered if Matt was even conscious and how badly he got hurt. Jimmy didn’t tell me the details over the phone which was probably better. It’s better to see things like that then to imagine them. My mind likes to exaggerate most things that pass through it. At this point I was anxious and hoped that I would feel better once I got onto the plane. I was always anxious before travel.

I forced myself out of bed, trudged down the vacant hallway and into the bathroom. I showed in record time and changed into a pair of black leggings, a black tanktop and an old grey sweatshirt I had that read Seattle across the front of it. I wore an old pair of black vans and I threw my hair into a ponytail. I hadn’t given it much thought but my hair had gotten considerably longer, as it was now almost half way down my back while in a ponytail. Long story short though; I like to be comfortable on planes. I was not about to dress up in heels and a nice outfit to sit for 6 hours.

I gathered all my belongings which was one backpack of my clothes, my journal, my phone charger, and my laptop.

---

I boarded my plane and before I knew it we were in the sky, the next stop was John Wayne airport.

I counted the hours as they dwindled by. I attempted to sleep, but was greatly unsuccessful. Sleeping is impossible when you have anxiety like me. I occupied myself to the best of my abilities by writing in my journal. I wrote some poetry. I wrote a few haikus and some traditional arabic style poems- the true names of them escape me, I only know the metre of which they’re in. Nine syllables, then thirteen. And so I wrote. I let my mind wander. It was salubrious.

human’s are all of the same species
then why do some dwell on the differences; they’re equal

time’s a concept created by man
the question now is, does it actually exist

time moves slower now that i’m aware
the awareness is killing me ever so slowly

Note: whenever I write poetry I often write what immediately comes to my mind and I rarely change it solely because I believe a poem is never done. It can always be edited. If that is so then it should be left in it’s original form.

Somehow there was only thirty minutes left of this flight and I would soon be in Huntington Beach California and off to the hospital to see Matt. At least it would most likely be sunny.

I disembarked the plane and turned on my phone to see a missed call from Brian. I hoped for the best but thought of and expected the worst as I hit the redial button.

The phone rang, and rang and rang some more.

“Hey Brian,” I greeted as someone picked up the phone.

“Hey Morgan, I’m glad that you landed safely. I’m just outside waiting in my car.”

“I’ll be out in a sec, see ya soon”

“See ya”

It was nice being able to leave the airport without having to go to baggage claim.

When I walked out the doors, Brian was standing next to his BMW. When we locked eyes he ran over to me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I was very happy, to say the least. I had missed him.

“It hasn’t even been that long since i’ve seen you but it feels like it’s been years, I’ve missed you” He mumbled into my shoulder as we hugged.

I pulled out of the hug and replied to him, “I missed you too, it’s been a long month” I sighed.

“You can say that again” He agreed, “So what do you say we head over to Orange Country Memorial, where Matt is?”

“Sure,” I said reluctantly with a forced smile. Brian wrapped his arm around my tightly. “Everything is going to be okay” He said softly.

“What if it’s not?” I whispered, trying not to lose it in the parking lot of the airport.

“It’s not a question,” brian stated, “Matt is going to be okay”

I nodded my head.

---

Brian and I walked through the narrow hallways of the hospital and towards the wing were Matt was; the ICU. Hospitals never failed to make me nervous. I could never understand how people could work in a place such as this. It's always so tense and depressing.

Brian and I took a seat in the lobby where Jimmy, Zacky and Johnny were, we could not go to see Matt because he wasn't awake and only 2 people can go in to see him at a time.

I say in my thoughts until I heard my name called. I looked up to see a doctor standing in front of me.

"You must be Morgan," he spoke.

"That's me" I said.

"My name is Dr. Mellor. Could you come with me to my office?" He asked.

"Of course" I said.

"Right this way," he motioned his hand as I got up and followed him.

Once we were in his office, he sat down in his chair that was behind his desk and I sat down in a chair in front of his desk.

"I am sure you are aware of what happened to Matt, correct?" He stated.

"Yes," I nodded my head, "but I do not know the exact details"

"That is what I am going to tell you," he half smiled.

I nodded my head.

"Matt was in a pretty bad car accident yesterday around ten in the morning"

I nodded my head, having already known that piece of information.

"It was a head on collision, he was exiting the PCH and another car went through a red light and they collided."

I just nodded my head again, this type unable to speak. That was almost the same car crash I was in.

"He is in the ICU now, he was of course unconscious after the collision. We put him in a drug enduced coma yesterday. He woke up early this morning though. He's still resting and were of course keeping a very close eye on him," he explained.

I processed the information, "so what are the extent of his injuries?"

"It depends on what injuries you are referring to, car accidents of course cause obvious physical injuries and less obvious mental injuries."

"I am aware, I was in a fatal car accident three years also," I told him.

He nodded his head, "Oh. Well, Matt's has various injuries. I'll just go down the list. We’ll start with his head; he has a moderate concussion, he experiences whiplash, and as expected has a few scrapes here and there on his head. As for his torso, he has a laceration on the left side of his abdomen. He dislocated his right shoulder, but surprisingly this is not sever as it sounds and it will heal on it’s own. I am glad to say he has no broken bones, but he does have various muscle tears and pulls, which, of course will take time to heal.

“Okay,” I said in a scarcely audible tone. This information that I was being told was all too familiar to me. It was odd that it wasn’t me in the hospital bed. I think I like it better from that side of things.

Dr. Mellor continued talking to fill the silence in the office, “As for his recovery; he will need rest and lots of it. I am prescribing him various pain medications. He should not take them all, but some of the medications are stronger, depending on the pain that he is feeling he should take those. Some people’s bodies tend to reject pain medications, so he has options.”

“How long will he be in the hospital?” I questioned.

“That I do not know, we will take it one day at a time.”

“Thank you”

I walked back out to the waiting room and sat down next to Brian.

“What did he say?” Zacky asked.

“He just talked about Matt’s injuries, they aren’t that bad but I guess the most serious one is his concussion”

A look of relief was shown on all of their faces.

“So when do we get to see him,” Jimmy wondered.
“I don’t know, when the doctors say I guess.” I sighed.

And so we waited.

Notes

:O update yay :)

i feel bad that I don't update everyday, my goal is to update at least every 3 days; i'm just so busy lol

but to those who are reading, thank you!

you're support means the world!