Scream
It's All Over
"Brian, I highly doubt you can form a normal relationship with her while she's still living with you," Matt said matter-of-factly.
"But I can't put her in a nuthouse, she'll see it as punishment," Brian murmured.
"Why would she see it like that?" Silence for a few moments.
"Just trust me. We need to see Donna before we do anything else." Fuck. He was serious about this. I heard someone stand up and start coming up the stairs, but I didn't move. There was no point. Matt saw me as he got to the top. He didn't say anything. He just nodded in a way to say "come on." I stood up and followed him back downstairs. Brian looked at me with glossy eyes; this was killing him. He was sitting forwrd with his elbows on his knees and his hands interlocked with each other. He flashed me a small, reassuring smile.
"Courtney," he said, his voice was cracking, "baby, we have to talk." Full tears had formed in his eyes.
"I'll go outside," Matt said. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. He walked out the front door, shutting it behind him. I didn't move.
"Sweetie," Brian said. "Please come here." I shook my head slowly. His hands clenched tighter. "Honey, please."
"You're sending me away," I whispered, not able to be any louder.
"I have to," he said as the tears spilled over. I felt so torn; comfort him or stay mad? I decided neither.
"You don't have to do anything. I'm fine here." He slowly shook his head.
"No, you're not. There's something really wrong, hun. You can not stay here." Out of nowhere, I felt my entire body fill with rage. I grabbed the closest thing to me, a lamp, and threw it against the wall right by Brian. He had to duck to miss it.
"Courtney," Matt yelled. I looked at him, and his face turned shocked. I don't know if it was because I threw the lamp or the expression I had. No one said anything for a few minutes.
"Courtney, I swear to god we don't think you're crazy," Brian said, almost like he could read my thoughts. "You need this, okay? You. Need. To. Leave. Here." I didn't move. I didn't say anything. I couldn't compose a full sentence in my mind. There was nothing I could say. I couldn't fight with them. I knew they were right.
"Then what happens from here," I asked quietly. Matt and Brian looked at each other.
"We talk to Donna, and tell her our decision," Brian said at the same volume. I nodded. I thought of something and looked at him.
"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Did you at least like it?" I could feel slight anger coming from Matt but I kept my eyes on Brian. He stared at me for a few seconds before answering.
"Yes. But it wasn't worth the feeling I got after Matt got here and I really thought about it." That was understandable.
"I'm going to call Donna. Then we can go and talk to her and see what she can do for us," Matt said. He went outside to call her and I didn't know what to do, what to say. I just stared at the ground thinking about what my future looks like at the moment.
"I'm sorry, Courtney," Brian whispered. "I'm so sorry I'm doing this to you." I looked at him.
"What are you sorrier about? This or the sex?" The most indescribable expression came across his face. I'm not sure if he was shocked, hurt, or mad that I asked that.
"I don't know, Courtney. I really don't."
"Do you regret it? What we did, I mean?" He chuckled.
"No. I will never regret it. I wish this isn't how things were turning out, but I don't regret it." Neither of us said anything. Matt came back in a few minutes later.
"She said she wanted to see you two today. Like now." Fuck. Brian nodded and got up. Matt went outside to get the car started and Brian came over to me. He took my hands in his and I looked up at him.
"No matter what happens, Courtney, I will always love you. Not in a sister way, but in our way. No one will ever change that. I love you." Tears came to my eyes as I finally fully realized what was going on. I was leaving him without even knowing it. It was all over. He saw the tears and he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed and I just cried into his shirt. I didn't want to leave him, I couldn't. The thought of not seeing him every day tore me apart. Even though he said he would come see me every day, he had a life away from me. He had to live it.
"Baby we have to go now," he said, sounding like he was getting a little choked up himself. I shook my head against his chest and he rubbed my back. "Honey I know you don't want to go but we have to. You're not leaving immediately, we'll still have time together." I wasn't sure what he meant by that. But I guessed I would find out.
We went outside after I calmed down a little and we both sat in the backseat. No one said a word until we got there and Matt cut the engine.
"Did you guys ever expect for this to happen," he asked. He was so incredibly pissed about all of this, I couldn't even begin to explain. Brian and I just kept our mouths shut as we all got out and started walking into the building. We walked into the waiting room and waited five minutes before Donna came out.
"Brian, Courtney. Come on back," she said. We went to the back and sat right next to each other on the couch. He instantly put his arm around my shoulders. She didn't say anything.
"It is agreed, correct?" Brian nodded, I didn't do anything. She looked at me waiting for a reaction, though, so I nodded also. "Okay. I already called to see if they have an opening in their teen psychiatric ward, and they do, so you will be going tomorrow at 2pm. That way you will have tonight and tomorrow morning to get your things together and say goodbyes. But don't take too much, Brian will be able to bring you things whenever he visits." Both Brian and I nodded. I couldn't believe this was happening. She smiled sympathetically at me. "Are you okay, Courtney?" I nodded again. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. "Brian, I would like to talk to you, so could you wait with Matt, Courtney?" I nodded for the third time and got up and went out to the waiting room. Matt looked up at me.
"Is she talking to Brian?" I nodded. He sighed. "I know you probably don't feel like talking right now. But please talk to me." I stared straight ahead at the wall. "Courtney I'm so sorry this is all happening like this. I really, really wish it wasn't the case, but it's our only option for both you and Brian to be healthy again."
"We were fine before," I said. "There was nothing wrong with us."
"Yes there was, but I won't argue with you." I looked at him.
"Don't you love me, Matt?" He looked at me with a blank expression.
"Yes, Courtney, I do." I clenched my teeth once.
"Then why are you doing this?" He didn't have an answer. I knew he didn't before I even asked the question. We waited at least 20 minutes before Brian walked out with Donna. She looked at me.
"Courtney, I'll see you at HIF tomorrow, same with you Brian and Matt." They both nodded at her, I just glared. We left and went back in home in a silent car ride again. When we pulled into the driveway, I instantly got out and went in straight to my room. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for I don't even know how long before someone knocked on the door. I didn't say anything. It was Matt.
"Courtney, I'm running to the store, do you want anything?" I didn't reply so after a few seconds he just sighed and walked back downstairs. I heard the front door open and shut. Then another pair of footsteps ascending the stairs and another set of knocks at my door.
"Baby, let me in," Brian said. I didn't bother responding; he would come in whether I wanted him to or not. Just like I thought, he opened the door and I felt his eyes on me. "Sweetie can we talk?" Silence. He walked in and sat down next to me. "Courtney, you can't hate me for this. I'm doing what's best for you." I looked at him.
"Locking me in a nuthouse is best for me? Are you fucking kidding," I asked, clearly pissed off. His jaw tensed for a fraction of a second, but he didn't say anything. He just laid down next to me, slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. He knew that was all I wanted.
"But I can't put her in a nuthouse, she'll see it as punishment," Brian murmured.
"Why would she see it like that?" Silence for a few moments.
"Just trust me. We need to see Donna before we do anything else." Fuck. He was serious about this. I heard someone stand up and start coming up the stairs, but I didn't move. There was no point. Matt saw me as he got to the top. He didn't say anything. He just nodded in a way to say "come on." I stood up and followed him back downstairs. Brian looked at me with glossy eyes; this was killing him. He was sitting forwrd with his elbows on his knees and his hands interlocked with each other. He flashed me a small, reassuring smile.
"Courtney," he said, his voice was cracking, "baby, we have to talk." Full tears had formed in his eyes.
"I'll go outside," Matt said. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. He walked out the front door, shutting it behind him. I didn't move.
"Sweetie," Brian said. "Please come here." I shook my head slowly. His hands clenched tighter. "Honey, please."
"You're sending me away," I whispered, not able to be any louder.
"I have to," he said as the tears spilled over. I felt so torn; comfort him or stay mad? I decided neither.
"You don't have to do anything. I'm fine here." He slowly shook his head.
"No, you're not. There's something really wrong, hun. You can not stay here." Out of nowhere, I felt my entire body fill with rage. I grabbed the closest thing to me, a lamp, and threw it against the wall right by Brian. He had to duck to miss it.
"Courtney," Matt yelled. I looked at him, and his face turned shocked. I don't know if it was because I threw the lamp or the expression I had. No one said anything for a few minutes.
"Courtney, I swear to god we don't think you're crazy," Brian said, almost like he could read my thoughts. "You need this, okay? You. Need. To. Leave. Here." I didn't move. I didn't say anything. I couldn't compose a full sentence in my mind. There was nothing I could say. I couldn't fight with them. I knew they were right.
"Then what happens from here," I asked quietly. Matt and Brian looked at each other.
"We talk to Donna, and tell her our decision," Brian said at the same volume. I nodded. I thought of something and looked at him.
"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Did you at least like it?" I could feel slight anger coming from Matt but I kept my eyes on Brian. He stared at me for a few seconds before answering.
"Yes. But it wasn't worth the feeling I got after Matt got here and I really thought about it." That was understandable.
"I'm going to call Donna. Then we can go and talk to her and see what she can do for us," Matt said. He went outside to call her and I didn't know what to do, what to say. I just stared at the ground thinking about what my future looks like at the moment.
"I'm sorry, Courtney," Brian whispered. "I'm so sorry I'm doing this to you." I looked at him.
"What are you sorrier about? This or the sex?" The most indescribable expression came across his face. I'm not sure if he was shocked, hurt, or mad that I asked that.
"I don't know, Courtney. I really don't."
"Do you regret it? What we did, I mean?" He chuckled.
"No. I will never regret it. I wish this isn't how things were turning out, but I don't regret it." Neither of us said anything. Matt came back in a few minutes later.
"She said she wanted to see you two today. Like now." Fuck. Brian nodded and got up. Matt went outside to get the car started and Brian came over to me. He took my hands in his and I looked up at him.
"No matter what happens, Courtney, I will always love you. Not in a sister way, but in our way. No one will ever change that. I love you." Tears came to my eyes as I finally fully realized what was going on. I was leaving him without even knowing it. It was all over. He saw the tears and he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed and I just cried into his shirt. I didn't want to leave him, I couldn't. The thought of not seeing him every day tore me apart. Even though he said he would come see me every day, he had a life away from me. He had to live it.
"Baby we have to go now," he said, sounding like he was getting a little choked up himself. I shook my head against his chest and he rubbed my back. "Honey I know you don't want to go but we have to. You're not leaving immediately, we'll still have time together." I wasn't sure what he meant by that. But I guessed I would find out.
We went outside after I calmed down a little and we both sat in the backseat. No one said a word until we got there and Matt cut the engine.
"Did you guys ever expect for this to happen," he asked. He was so incredibly pissed about all of this, I couldn't even begin to explain. Brian and I just kept our mouths shut as we all got out and started walking into the building. We walked into the waiting room and waited five minutes before Donna came out.
"Brian, Courtney. Come on back," she said. We went to the back and sat right next to each other on the couch. He instantly put his arm around my shoulders. She didn't say anything.
"It is agreed, correct?" Brian nodded, I didn't do anything. She looked at me waiting for a reaction, though, so I nodded also. "Okay. I already called to see if they have an opening in their teen psychiatric ward, and they do, so you will be going tomorrow at 2pm. That way you will have tonight and tomorrow morning to get your things together and say goodbyes. But don't take too much, Brian will be able to bring you things whenever he visits." Both Brian and I nodded. I couldn't believe this was happening. She smiled sympathetically at me. "Are you okay, Courtney?" I nodded again. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. "Brian, I would like to talk to you, so could you wait with Matt, Courtney?" I nodded for the third time and got up and went out to the waiting room. Matt looked up at me.
"Is she talking to Brian?" I nodded. He sighed. "I know you probably don't feel like talking right now. But please talk to me." I stared straight ahead at the wall. "Courtney I'm so sorry this is all happening like this. I really, really wish it wasn't the case, but it's our only option for both you and Brian to be healthy again."
"We were fine before," I said. "There was nothing wrong with us."
"Yes there was, but I won't argue with you." I looked at him.
"Don't you love me, Matt?" He looked at me with a blank expression.
"Yes, Courtney, I do." I clenched my teeth once.
"Then why are you doing this?" He didn't have an answer. I knew he didn't before I even asked the question. We waited at least 20 minutes before Brian walked out with Donna. She looked at me.
"Courtney, I'll see you at HIF tomorrow, same with you Brian and Matt." They both nodded at her, I just glared. We left and went back in home in a silent car ride again. When we pulled into the driveway, I instantly got out and went in straight to my room. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for I don't even know how long before someone knocked on the door. I didn't say anything. It was Matt.
"Courtney, I'm running to the store, do you want anything?" I didn't reply so after a few seconds he just sighed and walked back downstairs. I heard the front door open and shut. Then another pair of footsteps ascending the stairs and another set of knocks at my door.
"Baby, let me in," Brian said. I didn't bother responding; he would come in whether I wanted him to or not. Just like I thought, he opened the door and I felt his eyes on me. "Sweetie can we talk?" Silence. He walked in and sat down next to me. "Courtney, you can't hate me for this. I'm doing what's best for you." I looked at him.
"Locking me in a nuthouse is best for me? Are you fucking kidding," I asked, clearly pissed off. His jaw tensed for a fraction of a second, but he didn't say anything. He just laid down next to me, slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. He knew that was all I wanted.
I so glad theres sequel!!!!
10/11/16