Scream
Shower
Surprisingly, the rest of the night was very boring and silent. Brian and I stayed in my room just like that until Matt got back from the store. Then Brian went downstairs and helped him make dinner. I was called down when it was ready and we ate without saying a word to each other. None of us were happy about any of this.
After I finished eating, I put my plate in the sink and walked up the stairs without looking back at the men at the table. I walked into my room and shut my door. I wish I had a lock on it. I got my old suitcase out from my closet and set it open on my bed, thinking about the last time I had to use it. Four years ago...
"How's the packing going, Court," my mom asked, looking into my room. I smiled and gave her a thumbs up. This was the first time they were going to take me with them to the vacation house. She walked further down the hall. I heard her say something to Brian.
"Are you sure you don't want to go, Brian," she asked him.
"Yeah, I have alot to do with the guys."
"All right, if you're sure. No girls in the house while we're gone, if you're gonna do anything, go to Matt's." Brian chuckled.
"Nothing like that, Mom." She walked back down past my room and downstairs. A couple minutes later, I felt two hands on my shoulders and I jumped. I looked behind me and saw Brian. I relaxed.
"Hey hun, you sure you wanna go with them? They can get pretty boring," he said with a warm hearted smile.
"Yeah, I've never gone with them! I wanna see it," I told him, smiling back. I folded a shirt and put it in the suitcase.
"But I'll be so lonely..." He sounded like a sad little boy.
"I thought you were gonna be with the guys all weekend, though." I put a pair of folded shorts in the case and shut it. All done.
"Well yeah, but I love hanging out with you. You're a cool little sister." I turned around and smiled at him. He returned it and sighed. He stroked my cheek, which was normal for him. "Just don't have too much fun without me, kid."
I never thought about that. Why didn't I ever see anything wrong with how he acted toward me? He never did that stuff when Mom and Dad were around. Why didn't I notice?
"Courtney?" I jumped and looked at the door. Brian was standing there with a worried look on his face. "I knocked like 3 times..."
"Yeah, sorry," I said. "I was just thinking."
"About what?" He came in and shut the door, sitting on the bed next to the suitcase.
"The last time I used this." I could see it in his eyes; he didn't remember. But then an expression of recognition came across his face. He didn't say anything, so I spoke. "You wanted me to stay home with you." He nodded, keeping his eyes down. "Why?"
"You know why," he murmured. "You shouldn't have to ask."
"But I was only 10." He shrugged.
"It was the opportune time."
"Then why'd you wait so long after that?" He looked up at me.
"Our parents died, Courtney. I was grieving, too. Sex came nowhere near my thoughts until quite a few months later. I was so focused on taking care of you. The right care. When we first did it..." He looked away again. "I knew you weren't over it, but I couldn't wait any more." He ran his hand through his hair. "I mean, you finally hit puberty, it was timed perfectly."
"You sound crazy right now," I whispered. He didn't say anything for a minute.
"I don't care how it sounds, I'm being honest with you." I sat down on the opposite side of the suitcase from him and sighed.
"I guess that makes me feel better." Neither of us said anything for a little bit. I'm not sure how many minutes went by until Brian stood up.
"Remember what Susan said, don't pack too much." Then he walked out. He never left like that. This actually might be harder on him than me.
I finished packing (a week's worth of clothes, Brian could bring me more like Susan said) and got changed for bed. I would just wait until the morning to shower. I wanted to end the day as soon as possible. But that meant starting tomorrow sooner.
***
I woke up at a good time, 8:42am. Gave me time to do stuff and not rush. I left my room and checked Brian's room. Fast asleep. Matt was in the guest room downstairs, he was probably still asleep too. Not paying attention, I opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. I got a shock when the shower was already running.
"Courtney?" Matt looked out from behind the curtain. I gasped and turned my back to him, shielding my eyes.
"Oh my god Matt, I'm so sorry," I said. "I'll go." He chuckled.
"It's no big, Court. I'll hurry up for ya."
"Thanks Matt." I walked out and shut the door, standing there to let my heart stop racing. That scared me, but it made me think of Brian and I doing it in there. I shook my head at the thought and went back into my room. I sat on my bed and thought of how I didn't hear the shower before I walked in. I waited until I heard the bathroom door open and feet come down the hall. I looked at the doorway and saw Matt standing there in a towel.
"You can have it now, I can finish up in my room," he said with a slight grin. "And I left you some hot water." I smiled and he winked and walked away. He's unbelievable in the best way. I walked back to the bathroom and went in, closing and locking the door behind me. I won't let the same thing happen while I'm in there.
I undressed and turned the shower on, stepping in and feeling all my muscles relax. I looked down and looked at some of my scars. I wonder if anything about those will come up during my stay at my new home. I'll have to talk to Brian and Matt about it when I'm done in here.
I stay in for another twenty or so minutes until I decide I've been in for long enough. I get out, dry off and get dressed back in my sweats. I can change later. I towel dry my hair and let it dry the rest on its own. I leave the bathroom and walk downstairs seeing only Matt sitting at the kitchen table.
"Where's Brian," I ask.
"Still asleep," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. "He was up late last night."
"Oh," I said, finding a box of Coco Puffs and pouring some in a bowl. "Doing what?"
"I don't really know." I brought my bowl to the table and sat across from him. "Don't you want milk?"
"I like it dry. What was he doing?" He shrugged.
"Just sitting on the couch. Staring at the floor. For hours. I was worried. I came in and sat next to him." He pursed his lips. "He started crying right there. He said he was a terrible person and he hated himself." I stared at him.
"You don't think he did anything and that's why he's still asleep..." He shook his head.
"I stayed with him. He took two NyQuil and I waited in his room until he fell asleep." I took a mouthful of the cereal. When I swallowed I looked back at him.
"What is it gonna be like, Matt?" His eyebrows furrowed.
"What are you talking about?"
"Being there. What's gonna happen?" He sighed silently.
"Most institutions I've heard of have a type of schedule for adolescents. Time for school stuff, therapy sessions, free time."
"School starts next week. So I'll have a tutor?"
"I'm not sure, you'll have to see how they do it." I nodded and looked down. "Courtney, I promise you it will not be that bad. They have visiting time, too. I'll be there as often as I'm allowed." I half smile.
"Thanks, Matt."
After I finished eating, I put my plate in the sink and walked up the stairs without looking back at the men at the table. I walked into my room and shut my door. I wish I had a lock on it. I got my old suitcase out from my closet and set it open on my bed, thinking about the last time I had to use it. Four years ago...
"How's the packing going, Court," my mom asked, looking into my room. I smiled and gave her a thumbs up. This was the first time they were going to take me with them to the vacation house. She walked further down the hall. I heard her say something to Brian.
"Are you sure you don't want to go, Brian," she asked him.
"Yeah, I have alot to do with the guys."
"All right, if you're sure. No girls in the house while we're gone, if you're gonna do anything, go to Matt's." Brian chuckled.
"Nothing like that, Mom." She walked back down past my room and downstairs. A couple minutes later, I felt two hands on my shoulders and I jumped. I looked behind me and saw Brian. I relaxed.
"Hey hun, you sure you wanna go with them? They can get pretty boring," he said with a warm hearted smile.
"Yeah, I've never gone with them! I wanna see it," I told him, smiling back. I folded a shirt and put it in the suitcase.
"But I'll be so lonely..." He sounded like a sad little boy.
"I thought you were gonna be with the guys all weekend, though." I put a pair of folded shorts in the case and shut it. All done.
"Well yeah, but I love hanging out with you. You're a cool little sister." I turned around and smiled at him. He returned it and sighed. He stroked my cheek, which was normal for him. "Just don't have too much fun without me, kid."
I never thought about that. Why didn't I ever see anything wrong with how he acted toward me? He never did that stuff when Mom and Dad were around. Why didn't I notice?
"Courtney?" I jumped and looked at the door. Brian was standing there with a worried look on his face. "I knocked like 3 times..."
"Yeah, sorry," I said. "I was just thinking."
"About what?" He came in and shut the door, sitting on the bed next to the suitcase.
"The last time I used this." I could see it in his eyes; he didn't remember. But then an expression of recognition came across his face. He didn't say anything, so I spoke. "You wanted me to stay home with you." He nodded, keeping his eyes down. "Why?"
"You know why," he murmured. "You shouldn't have to ask."
"But I was only 10." He shrugged.
"It was the opportune time."
"Then why'd you wait so long after that?" He looked up at me.
"Our parents died, Courtney. I was grieving, too. Sex came nowhere near my thoughts until quite a few months later. I was so focused on taking care of you. The right care. When we first did it..." He looked away again. "I knew you weren't over it, but I couldn't wait any more." He ran his hand through his hair. "I mean, you finally hit puberty, it was timed perfectly."
"You sound crazy right now," I whispered. He didn't say anything for a minute.
"I don't care how it sounds, I'm being honest with you." I sat down on the opposite side of the suitcase from him and sighed.
"I guess that makes me feel better." Neither of us said anything for a little bit. I'm not sure how many minutes went by until Brian stood up.
"Remember what Susan said, don't pack too much." Then he walked out. He never left like that. This actually might be harder on him than me.
I finished packing (a week's worth of clothes, Brian could bring me more like Susan said) and got changed for bed. I would just wait until the morning to shower. I wanted to end the day as soon as possible. But that meant starting tomorrow sooner.
***
I woke up at a good time, 8:42am. Gave me time to do stuff and not rush. I left my room and checked Brian's room. Fast asleep. Matt was in the guest room downstairs, he was probably still asleep too. Not paying attention, I opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. I got a shock when the shower was already running.
"Courtney?" Matt looked out from behind the curtain. I gasped and turned my back to him, shielding my eyes.
"Oh my god Matt, I'm so sorry," I said. "I'll go." He chuckled.
"It's no big, Court. I'll hurry up for ya."
"Thanks Matt." I walked out and shut the door, standing there to let my heart stop racing. That scared me, but it made me think of Brian and I doing it in there. I shook my head at the thought and went back into my room. I sat on my bed and thought of how I didn't hear the shower before I walked in. I waited until I heard the bathroom door open and feet come down the hall. I looked at the doorway and saw Matt standing there in a towel.
"You can have it now, I can finish up in my room," he said with a slight grin. "And I left you some hot water." I smiled and he winked and walked away. He's unbelievable in the best way. I walked back to the bathroom and went in, closing and locking the door behind me. I won't let the same thing happen while I'm in there.
I undressed and turned the shower on, stepping in and feeling all my muscles relax. I looked down and looked at some of my scars. I wonder if anything about those will come up during my stay at my new home. I'll have to talk to Brian and Matt about it when I'm done in here.
I stay in for another twenty or so minutes until I decide I've been in for long enough. I get out, dry off and get dressed back in my sweats. I can change later. I towel dry my hair and let it dry the rest on its own. I leave the bathroom and walk downstairs seeing only Matt sitting at the kitchen table.
"Where's Brian," I ask.
"Still asleep," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. "He was up late last night."
"Oh," I said, finding a box of Coco Puffs and pouring some in a bowl. "Doing what?"
"I don't really know." I brought my bowl to the table and sat across from him. "Don't you want milk?"
"I like it dry. What was he doing?" He shrugged.
"Just sitting on the couch. Staring at the floor. For hours. I was worried. I came in and sat next to him." He pursed his lips. "He started crying right there. He said he was a terrible person and he hated himself." I stared at him.
"You don't think he did anything and that's why he's still asleep..." He shook his head.
"I stayed with him. He took two NyQuil and I waited in his room until he fell asleep." I took a mouthful of the cereal. When I swallowed I looked back at him.
"What is it gonna be like, Matt?" His eyebrows furrowed.
"What are you talking about?"
"Being there. What's gonna happen?" He sighed silently.
"Most institutions I've heard of have a type of schedule for adolescents. Time for school stuff, therapy sessions, free time."
"School starts next week. So I'll have a tutor?"
"I'm not sure, you'll have to see how they do it." I nodded and looked down. "Courtney, I promise you it will not be that bad. They have visiting time, too. I'll be there as often as I'm allowed." I half smile.
"Thanks, Matt."
I so glad theres sequel!!!!
10/11/16