I felt Brian's arm slip around my shoulders and pull me tighter against him when Dr. Fuller wasn't looking. She wrote something down on a piece of paper before looking back up at us. She noticed something was different with how we were sitting. She opened her mouth to say something, but then shut it when she looked back down at the folder.

"Courtney," Donna said. "Why do you think you don't need to be here?" I didn't say anything. Brian squeezes my shoulder in reassurance. I stayed quiet. After a couple seconds, Donna nodded and looked at Brian. "Brian, why do you think you don't need to be here?" He kept a straight face.

"I'm not sick," he stated. "There's nothing wrong with me." She wrote that down.

"If there's nothing wrong with you, then why did Matt call me?" Brian shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Do you love your sister-"

"Yes," Brian answered immediately. Donna watched him for a second.

"As more than a sister?" I stared at the floor, waiting for an answer. Brian didn't reply. Donna wrote that down, too. "If you don't mind, Brian, I'd like to speak with Courtney alone."

"Why can't I stay with her?" The new tone of his voice shocked me; he sounded scared, panicked.

"I just think she'd be more able to talk without anyone else here-"

"I'm sure she'd much rather have me here with her." Brian looked at me. "Right?" I kept my eyes locked on the floor. I felt both pairs of eyes on me.

"Please wait with Matt, Brian." I felt him take a silent deep breath, but he stood up. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head before walking out. Donna exhaled as soon as the door shut. "So, Courtney," she said, sounding much more relaxed. "Let's talk."

"I don't want to talk," I whispered while looking at her, partially glaring.

"Why not? Has Brian scared you into not talking about it-"

"No-"

"Has he threatened you-"

"No!-"

"Do you like what he does to you-"

"No!" My breath caught in my throat as I realized what I said. "I-I did n't mean that-"

"Yes, you did, Courtney," Donna said. "The point of asking things fast like that is so you don't think about it, you just say the truth." I stared at her, so she continued. "You want him to stop hurting you, but you get too much pleasure out of it to tell him to stop."

"He wouldn't stop even if I asked-"

"That's why you say it with someone around, like Matt. He'd be able to protect you in case it turns violent."

"Brian wouldn't hit me because of that-"

"But I'm sure he has any other time you told him it hurt too much." I couldn't say anything. She went on. "You still love him all the same, don't you? And he makes you believe that you like what you do with him, right?" I continued to stare at her, speechless.

Whether I liked what I did with Brian or not, it was a complete mystery to me. Sometimes I did and other times I wanted to kill myself afterwards. Sometimes I liked looking back on the memories and other times I would give anything to get rid of them. Sometimes I loved Brian to death and other time I wished he would drop dead. Either way, I knew nothing truly good could come of this situation.

"Tell me everything," Donna says quietly. "Go through what usually happens."

"It depends on what kind of mood he's in," I murmur.

"What about when he's in a normal mood?"

"He's never in a normal mood."

"What do you mean?"

"What more can I say about it? He's always in some kind of mood."

"All right. Is he ever angry?"

"Yeah, frequently."

"How does it go on when he's like that?" I remembered what happened when I was with Brian at our parents' vacation house.

"He's rough," I said, staring at the ground with a blank expression as the images flashed through my mind. "No matter what I say, he doesn't care."

"I'm guessing this has happened recently." I looked at her from under my hair with the "don't remind me" look. She wrote something else down.

"What about when he's in a good mood?" I smiled a little.

"He's really affectionate. He'll stop if I ask him to."

"You don't tell him to, though." It wasn't a question.

"No," I replied anyway. "Not when he's like that."

"You love him when he's nice and caring, but you hate him when he's mean and uncaring."

"Yeah." I let out a breath I'd been unknowingly holding. "Wouldn't that be normal for anyone?" Donna thought about it for a few seconds.

"Not exactly. Most people, their mind is able to distinguish what's right from what's wrong." I let my mind process that, but then my heart dropped.

"So... I really am..." I swallowed back my fear of the next word, and it came out as a whisper, "...sick?" Donna nodded.

"Yes, Courtney. You're sick." I felt like I got stabbed by hearing her say those words. She waited, but I said nothing else. There wasn't anything else to say. She sighed and looked at the time. "If you could, go out to the waiting room and send Brian back so I can speak with him, please? You can talk to Matt-"

"Can I tell him what you said and what I said?"

"If you would like to, yes." I nodded and I stood up, leaving the room. I walked down the short hallway to where Matt and Brian were. As soon as Brian saw me, his face turned scared and he ran over to me, instantly wrapping his arms around my waist in a hug and holding me tight against him. I held on as if my life depended on it.

"You need to talk to her," I whispered to him.

"Okay," he said, but his voice cracked. He set me down after about ten seconds and kissed the top of my head like he did before. He walked past me to where Donna was, shutting the doors. I made my way to where he was sitting next to Matt and sat down. I stared forward as I felt Matt watching me.

"What happened," he asked quietly. I took a slow, deep, shaky breath.

"You were right," I exhaled, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "I'm sick."