My Bloody Valentine
Maybe This Isn't Going To Work Out
I woke up with less of an ache and almost no headache at all, I could feel how dry my throat was when I tried to swallow and it was like sandpaper, I needed water. Loads of water.
“Matt…” I croaked and I heard someone moving around but nothing else “Matt,” I repeated.
“I’m here baby, just getting you some water,” He said from across the room, I sat up and rubbed my eyes and saw that I was still in the hospital room from earlier… or whenever I had gone back to sleep, I hadn’t been awake much. Matt sat on the bed with me and handed me a glass of water.
“Any news?” I finally asked after downing the whole glass.
“Your dad’s back at the station, everyone’s stumped over this whole missing guy murderer dude…” He sighed and looked at me sympathetically “I’m so sorry,” He said, his voice cracking “I should have been with you tonight, you shouldn’t have gone after Amy alone,” My heart started racing and I only realised when the heart monitor started speeding up.
“Amy, is she okay?!” I asked panicked
“Sh, sh, she’s alright baby, a little shaken up but she wouldn’t leave this room, we had to move her when she was asleep, I’m sure she’ll be back soon though,” He said with a chuckle.
“I should have called you…” I trailed off with my voice barely there “I’m so sorry,” I sniffed, realizing that I had started to cry.
“How’s everyone doing in here?” Zacky asked, poking his head though the door, only coming all the way in when I smiled weakly and dried my eyes with the tissue Matt handed me “I have a surprise for you,” He said with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Shit Zacky, what did you do?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
“I brought you something,” He smirked, I didn’t take my eyes off of him until I heard the door opening, I looked up to see Nikki standing there.
“Nikki!” I tried to scream, making everyone laugh, I tried frantically to get out of the bed but all of the drips and wires were keeping me there, causing her to run over to me and hug me tightly.
“NIKKI HATH ARIVED!” She yelled, which was okay because I was in a private room and she wouldn’t disturb the other patients, which was something you needed everywhere you went with Nikki.
The four of us sat around for an hour so, Nikki and Zacky were shamelessly flirting while Nikki and I caught up. I hadn’t seen Nikki since mom and I spent a few months in San Diego, where we became best friends and haven’t lost touch since I left.
“I have to say, you look like you got hit by a bus,” Nikki teased.
“Well he did drug her and use her as a punching bag for a while babe,” Zacky said with a chuckle.
“He what?” I croaked.
“Oh shit, you haven’t seen yourself yet,” Zacky sighed before taking a mirror from Nikki and handing it to me.
My right eye was black, my lip burst, a cut cheek and a hand print on the other.
“Well don’t I look pretty,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the awkward mood.
Nikki was going to be staying in Huntington, she’d found an apartment and I was going to be moving in with her, I was in my bedroom packing up my things again when there was a knock at my door. I turned around to see Matt standing in the doorway, looking sad.
“Matt, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’m leaving,” He said.
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” I asked, still holding a bunch of t-shirts in my hand.
“We have to tour for a year and I can’t take you, we’re going to be so far away that it’ll be hard to keep in touch…” He trailed off, walking towards me, I backed away.
“Matt, I was worried about you being in danger, being with me, I’ve been fighting with myself since I got released from the hospital last week, maybe…” I sighed “Maybe this isn’t going to work out…” Tears filled my eyes and his face dropped.
“What?” He whispered “You can’t leave me”
“Matt, you’re the one who’s leaving me here, where there’s a murderer on the loose,” I snapped
“But… I’ve never felt like this with anyone, not even Val… I… I look at you and I see the kind of person I want to share my life with,” He took the things out of my hands and placed them on my bed, taking my hands in his “I know that I probably sound crazy but I’ve never been able to look at someone the way I look at you…” Tear were rolling down my cheeks, I couldn’t believe this was happening, the one man I had ever truly loved and it was ending already.
“Matt, you were never supposed to mean this much to me, I was never, ever supposed to fall so hard,” I took a shaky breath as I started to sob “But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go.” I pulled my hands from his, turned around and continued to pack my things.
“We first thing on Saturday morning,” He said gently “I’d love it if you could come and say goodbye,” a second later I heard my door close lightly and I let the tears fall, that was it, everything was over.
“Matt…” I croaked and I heard someone moving around but nothing else “Matt,” I repeated.
“I’m here baby, just getting you some water,” He said from across the room, I sat up and rubbed my eyes and saw that I was still in the hospital room from earlier… or whenever I had gone back to sleep, I hadn’t been awake much. Matt sat on the bed with me and handed me a glass of water.
“Any news?” I finally asked after downing the whole glass.
“Your dad’s back at the station, everyone’s stumped over this whole missing guy murderer dude…” He sighed and looked at me sympathetically “I’m so sorry,” He said, his voice cracking “I should have been with you tonight, you shouldn’t have gone after Amy alone,” My heart started racing and I only realised when the heart monitor started speeding up.
“Amy, is she okay?!” I asked panicked
“Sh, sh, she’s alright baby, a little shaken up but she wouldn’t leave this room, we had to move her when she was asleep, I’m sure she’ll be back soon though,” He said with a chuckle.
“I should have called you…” I trailed off with my voice barely there “I’m so sorry,” I sniffed, realizing that I had started to cry.
“How’s everyone doing in here?” Zacky asked, poking his head though the door, only coming all the way in when I smiled weakly and dried my eyes with the tissue Matt handed me “I have a surprise for you,” He said with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Shit Zacky, what did you do?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
“I brought you something,” He smirked, I didn’t take my eyes off of him until I heard the door opening, I looked up to see Nikki standing there.
“Nikki!” I tried to scream, making everyone laugh, I tried frantically to get out of the bed but all of the drips and wires were keeping me there, causing her to run over to me and hug me tightly.
“NIKKI HATH ARIVED!” She yelled, which was okay because I was in a private room and she wouldn’t disturb the other patients, which was something you needed everywhere you went with Nikki.
The four of us sat around for an hour so, Nikki and Zacky were shamelessly flirting while Nikki and I caught up. I hadn’t seen Nikki since mom and I spent a few months in San Diego, where we became best friends and haven’t lost touch since I left.
“I have to say, you look like you got hit by a bus,” Nikki teased.
“Well he did drug her and use her as a punching bag for a while babe,” Zacky said with a chuckle.
“He what?” I croaked.
“Oh shit, you haven’t seen yourself yet,” Zacky sighed before taking a mirror from Nikki and handing it to me.
My right eye was black, my lip burst, a cut cheek and a hand print on the other.
“Well don’t I look pretty,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the awkward mood.
Nikki was going to be staying in Huntington, she’d found an apartment and I was going to be moving in with her, I was in my bedroom packing up my things again when there was a knock at my door. I turned around to see Matt standing in the doorway, looking sad.
“Matt, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’m leaving,” He said.
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” I asked, still holding a bunch of t-shirts in my hand.
“We have to tour for a year and I can’t take you, we’re going to be so far away that it’ll be hard to keep in touch…” He trailed off, walking towards me, I backed away.
“Matt, I was worried about you being in danger, being with me, I’ve been fighting with myself since I got released from the hospital last week, maybe…” I sighed “Maybe this isn’t going to work out…” Tears filled my eyes and his face dropped.
“What?” He whispered “You can’t leave me”
“Matt, you’re the one who’s leaving me here, where there’s a murderer on the loose,” I snapped
“But… I’ve never felt like this with anyone, not even Val… I… I look at you and I see the kind of person I want to share my life with,” He took the things out of my hands and placed them on my bed, taking my hands in his “I know that I probably sound crazy but I’ve never been able to look at someone the way I look at you…” Tear were rolling down my cheeks, I couldn’t believe this was happening, the one man I had ever truly loved and it was ending already.
“Matt, you were never supposed to mean this much to me, I was never, ever supposed to fall so hard,” I took a shaky breath as I started to sob “But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go.” I pulled my hands from his, turned around and continued to pack my things.
“We first thing on Saturday morning,” He said gently “I’d love it if you could come and say goodbye,” a second later I heard my door close lightly and I let the tears fall, that was it, everything was over.
9/11/13