Abbey's Road

To Zacky, there was no greater pleasure in life than seeing the bottom of an empty Jack Daniels bottle. To him it was almost home. It was happiness, it was bliss and forgetfulness, it was having Abbey in his arms again. When Zacky drank, Abbey was there with him. They were back home in California and they were happy. But when the sunlight harshly woke Zacky the next day, he was never in California, and Abbey was never there. His friends worried about him. The green-eyed man never drank this much before Abbey disappeared. They tried everything to stop him, but nothing worked. If they requested his room have no alcohol in the fridge, he'd sneak downstairs to the bar or order room service. If they tried to pry the bottle from his hands, he became beligerent. "Zack man, give me the bottle," Brian said, holding out his hand. Zacky shook his head like a child and moved away from his friend, taking another swig of his precious amber liquid. Brian let out a ragged sigh before asking again, and again, Zacky refused. "Zacky, if you don't give me that fucking whiskey bottle, I'm gonna beat your ass." "Bring…it," Zacky hiccuped, holding his arms out wide. Brian groaned. He didn't really wanna have to tackle Zacky, but it seemed like he had no choice. He jumped at his friend and knocked him to the floor of hotel room, sending the whiskey bottle spinning across the floor. As they watched, the little whiskey that was left in the bottle spread in golden waves across the white carpet. Wonderful, Brian thought bitterly to himself. Something else we have to pay for. :Get off of me, Brian!" Zacky shouted, thrashing around underneath his friend. He'd been perfectly fine wallowing alone in his room with his memories, and he was pissed that Brian had interrupted him. "The whiskey's gone, so let me up. That was my last one, I swear." Setting his friend with glare, Brian got to his feet and helped Zacky do the same. "Are you sure that's your last one?" he asked. "Pos…itive," Zacky slurred, swaying on his feet. "I drank…all of 'em…'fore you got…here." "Which was how much?" Brian asked warily. "Two bottles." As soon as these words left Zacky's mouth, both of them knew it was a lie. There were three bottles next to Zacky's nightstand, and that wasn't including the one Brian had knocked from his hand. Zacky didn't know why he lied to his friend. Maybe it was because Brian couldn't ever understand why he drank so much. He couldn't ever understand Zacky's hurt. "Why do you drink so much, Zacky?" Brian sighed. "Because I can pretend," Zacky said. He sat down on the edge of his bed, and hid body language immediately changed. His shoulders slumped, his eyes became glassy. He was hurting. Everyone knew it, but there was nothing they could do to stop it. "When I'm drinking, I can pretend Abbey's here." Zacky reached into his nightstand and pulled out an envelope with his name on it. He knew Brian knew what it was, but that he'd never read it. "I was looking through my suitcase earlier and I found this again. This stupid fucking note. I started reading it again, because I'm an idiot. And I just started thinking about the day she left, and how I should've seem it coming. She acted so weird those few days before she left, Brian. She didn't eat, she slept all day. She wasn't Abbey. But…But when I drink I can pretend Abbey's herself again, and that she's here with me." "But she's not," Brian stated bluntly. "She's in Montana. We, however, are still in Utah, so we need to get our asses moving. But we can't do that when you're drunk, so we'll have to wait another day so you can sober up." "No! We have to go now!" Zacky shouted, grabbing his chocolate-eyed friend by the shoulders. "We have to leave now!" In the back of his mind, he knew Brian was right. Zacky was so drunk he could barely stand on his own feet, let alone board a train. But more pressing was the thought of letting Abbey slip away. If they waited any longer, she could move on to the next place on the list and traveling to Montana would be a waste of time. "I'm fine. I-I can travel." Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. The desperation in Zacky's jade eyes was enough to melt the coldest heart. He pointed a finger at the younger man. "Fine, we'll leave now," he agreed. "But you'd better not get us kicked off that fucking train." ♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪ "God, could he snore any fucking louder?" Johnny whined, shooting Zacky a glare. Almost as soon as they'd boarded the train, Zacky had passed out. And once he'd started snoring, Matt made Johnny switch places with him so Matt wouldn't have to sit next to Zacky. "Why do I have to sit next to him?" "Because I said so," Matt replied firmly. Johnny opened his arm like he was going to respond, but quickly thought better of it and shut his mouth. "Quit snoring," Johnny told a sleeping Zacky, giving him a shove. Zacky stirred a little but didn't wake. "I'm not snoring Abbey, I swear," Zacky mumbled, snuggling against Johnny's shoulder. Johnny cried out in protest and pushed his friend away, but the other three men in the carriage shared a look of concern. Abbey was all Zacky thought about these days, and as much as they didn't blame him, they knew it was unhealthy. Her disappearance had driven him to drink a dangerous amount, and the only thing that would stop the bad habit completely was Abbey's return. "She'd better be in Montana is all I gotta say," Matt grumbled, voicing what everyone else thought. Jimmy and Brian nodded, and aside from Zacky's snoring, the carriage was silent for the rest of the trip. ♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪ "You're so sweet, Zacky," Abbey cooed to him. "I love you so much." Zacky smiled widely and pulled Abbey close. The champagne-colored duvet crinkled as Abbey moved across the bed, pressing herself flush against her boyfriend. Zacky pressed his nose against the top of her head, inhaling her sweet scent. Even after years in California, she still smelled like Georgia peaches. Zacky's eyes slipped shut and he smiled again. He could live his whole life like this. "I love you too, Abbey," he whispered, cracking open his eyes. Sadness blossomed in his stomach he realized it had all been a dream. Abbey wasn't really there next to him. The sweet scent of peaches still lingered from his dream, and it brought tears to Zacky's eyes. He looked over at his clock after seeing that it was only a little after seven in the morning, he rolled out of bed. Nobody else was awake, no one would bother him now, so he was going to drink. Brian hadn't had time to raid this fridge, so there would be at least two bottles of whiskey for him. "Fucking hell," he cursed when he opened the fridge and saw that it was empty. "Really, Brian? You seriously fucking told them not to put any fucking whiskey in my fridge? Fucking dick." Zacky got to his feet and sat down on his bed like a defeated child. He'd been looking forward to a little bit of whiskey to soothe his pain. Suddenly an idea sprang to his mind, and Zacky smirked. "I'll just go down to the bar and drink," he mused out loud. "Betcha haven't told them not to serve me down there, Haner!" Zacky wasn't surprised to find himself alone at the bar. It was barely seven in the morning after all. The bartender was a bit disgruntled about having to work so early, but Zacky didn't care. He was chasing after his prize: the elusive bottom of the bottle. By the bottom of the second bottle, Zacky was numb. By the bottom of the fourth, Zacky could almost pretend Abbey was sitting next to him. "Yo bartender, I'll have another," Zack called out, swilling the backwash around in his fifth bottle of Jack. The bartender shot him a glare, but still went to retrieve the whiskey. "Don't give him anymore," Jimmy's voice said. Zacky did a double take as his friend took a seat next to him at the bar. "Bring him a ginger ale. He needs to sober up." The bartender gave a nod to show his understanding and thirty seconds later, placed a glass in front of Zacky. "Why are you drinking, Zacky?" Jimmy asked with a sigh. "It's eight in the morning." "I had a dream about her last night, Jim," Zacky croaked, wrapping his fingers around the ginger ale glass. "I-I just wish I could talk to her again. I wish I knew why she left." Jimmy grimaced, but not at Zacky. Just a few days ago - as they were preparing to leave for Utah - Jimmy had talked to Abbey on the phone, and she'd let something slip, something that Jimmy suspected might be part of the reason she left Zacky alone the way she did. Jimmy loved Abbey to death - he always had - but right now he was wondering how she could be so heartless. "Zacky, did Abbey ever tell you she was pregnant?" Jimmy asked on a whim, turning to the jade-eyed man. "Abbey wasn't pregnant," Zacky replied immediately, shaking his head at Jimmy. "I mean, we talked about maybe having a baby in the next year, but she's never been pregnant. She would've told me." Jimmy sighed. What he was about to tell Zacky was going to make his hurt even worse, but it had to be done. "Zacky, I-I talked to Abbey," he started. "And she told me that about a month and a half before she left, she found out she was pregnant." "So I'm gonna be a dad?" Zacky asked excitedly. Now he was even more eager to find Abbey. He imagined finding her after so long and seeing her stomach round with his child. He'd been with Abbey since he was fifteen, and he was ecstatic at the thought of starting a family with her. "No Zack, you're not," Jimmy said. He had to be especially gentle with his friend now, because he'd gotten his hopes up my mistake. "She told that she um…she had an abortion." Zacky's face fell, and Jimmy could see his heart breaking through his eyes. All he wanted was to have a nice life with the girl he loved more than anything, and she was taking that away from him. Damn you, Abbey, Jimmy thought bitterly. Why did you have to hurt him like that? Abandoning his full ginger ale on the counter, Zacky hurried furiously back to his room. He felt so betrayed. Not only had Abbey hidden the beautiful thing they created together from him, but she'd gotten rid of it. They could've been a family. But Abbey robbed him of the chance. "Why would you do that, Abbey?" Zacky screamed, alone in his hotel room. He picked up the chair that sat next to the tv and slammed it against the wall. Two legs splintered and fell to the ground. "Why the fuck would you lie to me like that?" Next Zacky went for the phone sitting on the nightstand; he ripped it from the wall and hurled it at the tv. Thankfully, the damage to the tv was minimal, only a few cracks. "Why would you kill our baby without even telling me about it? Did you not think I would make a good dad?" "Zack, you okay in there?" Jimmy's voice asked, his hand knocking tentatively on the door. "I'm fine," Zacky croaked, but this was a lie. He was devastated. He'd always thought Abbey was so sweet and innocent, but that fantasy had just been slashed. When all sounds inside Zacky's hotel room vanished, Jimmy started to bang hard on the door, loudly demanding that Zacky let him in. But Zacky ignored his friend. He sat down on the floor in the midst of the debris from his hotel room and cried.

Notes