He's Yours

It’s the day of the funeral and my tummy is huge, well it is to me. You can so tell I was pregnant. I was getting ready for my best friends funeral. I put in my black dress that made me look more pregnant that I really was, a pair of black and white flats, the necklace that Jimmy bought me at least four years ago when he asked me to a school dance, and absolutely no makeup on. I had two things on my mind, this funeral and they boy’s graduation. Zacky helped me into the car and we drove off to meet the guys at the funeral home Jimmy’s parents chose. I walked straight to Brian when we got there, his eyes lined with black waterproof eyeliner. I knew he was going to hold his tears in until we went to Zacky’s later tonight. Matt had Val on his arm and when she saw me her eyes traveled to my tummy.
“Hello baby my name is Matt and I’m going to be your uncle.” Matt said placing his hand on my stomach.
“One of the four best uncles anyone will ever have in their life.” I said
“Four?” Val
“Yeah did you fucking forget about Jimmy? Just because he died doesn’t mean he’s not going to be this baby’s uncle.” I snapped
“Why are you being such a bitch?” Matt asked me
“Me being a bitch? Me? I wonder why Matthew.” I said walking away.
“It’s because the slut is knocked up Mattie. I mean she’s a bitch all the time but the hormones are making her even more of a bitch.” I heard Val whisper I looked back and Matt was just looking at her.
“What Mattie? She’s a good for nothing brat that whores around all the time. You don’t have to worry about her, the baby might die from all this unneeded stress anyways.” She said
I felt like going and punching her in the face, but I knew since it was a funeral that it wouldn’t be appropriate and his parents are already going to think bad about me. “Little Brice Carter?” I heard a deep voice behind me
I turned around and saw Jimmy’s dad, Jimmy was a spitting image of him and it hurt to look at him.
“Yeah that’s me.” I said He bent down and hugged me.
“Are we expecting?” He asked me talking about the baby
“Yeah.” I said
“Is it Jimmy’s?” He asked looked at me with a hopeful look.
“No it’s Zacky’s.” I said
His face dropped and he walked up to his wife.
“Hi Miss. Sullivan.” I said
She hugged me and started to cry.
“Call me Barbra.” She said
“How are you holding up Barbra?” I asked
“This is killing me. Were you the one to find him?” She asked
I nodded trying to keep my composure for his mom.
“It’s about to start.” The pastor dude said to us.
Zacky came up and took my hand and led me into the funeral home. I found Brian and took his hand in mine and squeezed.
“This is going to be hard.” He whispered.
“I know baby I know.” I said kissing his forehead before I sat down.
An hour or two passed and Brian and I were still holding it together, it could wait until we got back to Zacky’s house. Barbra got up to the podium and looked at us and gestured something and Matt, Zacky, Brian, and Johnny went up and grabbed what they play. Matt grabbed the microphone.
“Here’s a song for you Jimmy.” He said into the casket.
I saw Brian take a deep breath, Zacky picked up and acoustic guitar and they all took a seat.
“Never feared for anything, never chained but never free. A light that healed the broken heart with all that it could. Lived a life so endlessly, saw beyond what others see. I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could. Will you stay? Will you stay away forever? How do I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned. Place and time always on my mind, I have so much to say but you’re so far away. Plans of what our futures hold, foolish lies of growing old. It seems we’re so invincible, the truth is so cold. A final song, a last request, a perfect chapter laid to rest. A place in my mind, where you can stay. You can stay away forever. How do I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned. Place and time always on my mind, I have so much to say but you’re so far away. Sleep tight I’m not afraid, the ones that we love are here with me. Lay away a place for me, ‘cause as soon as I’m done I’ll be on my way to live eternally. How to I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book its burned. Place and time always on my mind, and the light you left remains but it are so hard to stay. When I have so much to say and you’re so far away. I love you, you were ready, the pain is strong and the urges rise. But I’ll see you when he lets me. Your pain is gone, your hands untied. So far away, and I need you to know. So far away and I need you to, need you to know” Matt sang.
I cupped my mouth with my left hand and tried not to cry, a white screen came down and a video came on. It was them as kids, teen and young adults. I looked over at Barbra and she was bawling. I knew that would be me later. When it was over my pew was the first to get dismissed to see his body, the band was already up there so it left me and his mom. His mom touched his cold dead hand and walked away on her way to the graveyard. I walked up hugging myself and looked into his casket and then looked up at Brian who was looking at me. Brian bent over and kissed his best friends forehead. I looked at Zacky who was now holding around my waist.
“Do it Brice.” He whispered and I knew exactly what he was talking about. I bent over and kissed Jimmy’s cold lips.
“I love you Jimmy, you’ll never leave my heart.” I said as I dropped a picture into the casket.
The picture was him and the boys hugging with his back tattoo showing. I always kept it with me.
“Look Mattie the whore kissed a dead body what a necrophiliac.” Val said Was she fucking stupid.
“Are you fucking stupid? Shut the fuck up.” Matt whispered.
“Matt don’t stick up for her.” Val whispered back
“Do you even know what that word means Val?” Matt asked
“A necrophiliac? Yes it’s when you kiss dead bodies.” She said
“No it’s when you have a sexual attraction to a dead body.
She lost her best friend. Let’s talk about this later.” Matt whispered
“Fine.” She mumbled

Notes