Today was Wednesday. Just two more days and I was going to be in hell for the rest of my life. My brother, my sister, my father, my mother and now my best friend were going to hate me for sure. My girlfriend might in fact kill herself because of everything that was happening and it was making me scared. Maybe I should actually make myself fall in love with her or pray for a miracle.

Maybe there was going to be a guy on Friday that would sweep her off of her feet and if that happened, I would get on my knees and praise the Lord about. But, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I was just going to have to suck it up and face my lies. But, maybe I didn’t really have to tell her the hard truth. Maybe I could explain to Z. Bat that I was still dating her. I mean, I still need to get closer to him and such.

I sighed, this was such a big mess.

I was at school, going the normal way that it always did. Being with Brook when I could, going through my normal routine of classes, Rosie not being here again. With her not being here, I actually felt more alone then usual. I wasn’t sure why but maybe it was because we were the only to mental freaks in the school and she just helped me not feel alone.

“Well this sucks,” I muttered in class. I was all by myself now and it was making me feel like total crud. Today wasn’t turning into such a beautiful and sun shining day like I wanted it to be. My heart was hurting, my head was racing and I was getting really sick of it. I was tired of these voices and I was tired of how people were treating me. They would bully me, treat me
like I was dirt.

I was scratching my nails on my desk, feeling anger inside my chest and my jaw was clenching. I was getting pissed and I wanted to leave. Granted, I had every right to go ahead and leave since no one wanted a freak to blow up and to shoot up the school, which I would actually do.

I looked over in the corner and I saw a beast standing there with a grin on his face. He looked more like the Disturbed demon that they had on a few on their albums. His teeth jagged and dark. He was looking at me with anger inside his eyes, his yellow eyes staring back at me.

“Kill them,” He said with a grin, “Kill them and then kill yourself,” He told me. I could see the shinning gun in his hand and it made my heart ache. I wanted that gun. I wanted to feel that cool gun in my hand, letting the barrel touch my back as I hid it. Maybe I should listen to this demon for once. He seemed to tell me the truth, saying that it was all good. That everyone deserved to die, that I deserved to die. I was gay and I knew it, I didn’t love Brook and I was killing her, I was killing everyone I loved.

“No,” I whispered. There was a part of me that was still fighting, the sane part of me. I wanted the sane part to come out and rescue my from this nightmare. The teacher looked at me and I saw the look in his eyes, he knew what was happening and quickly dialed on the phone. That’s when I stood, seeing the demon coming closer to me and him pointing to the man telling me to kill him. My hood was up and my fists were clenched. I can kill him with my bare hands and I knew it.

“Wesley, calm down,” The teacher said, slowly standing. I wasn’t going to listen to him though. As much as I wanted to. I knew that this was a bad idea, that this wasn’t going to turn out good but the voices were stronger then ever. There was to many lies I was hiding, to many things that were in the light. I needed to hide them better, I needed to stop this before someone got hurt.

“It’s all in your head Wes, come on,” The teacher was nice and calm to me, making it look like this was a normal thing. That’s when I heard so many voices, telling me to kill. To kill him, to kill my family. I gripped onto my head and cried, falling on the floor to my knees screaming for them to shut up.

I heard the door come open and I felt arms around me, it was my mom. My mommy was here to help me. He called my mom, I was so grateful that he did but it made the voices even louder inside my head. They were screaming saying that I should kill the teacher. My mother had a good grip on me as well.

“Mommy help me,” I cried.

“Shhh baby, shhh your alright, you can do this baby boy,” She whispered to me. She was rocking me and telling me all these good things about me, the voices wouldn’t stop though.

That’s when they got me about the lies I keeping from them. I wanted to tell them but I was so scared about them yelling at me and telling me how wrong it was. I could tell my mom though, I think. She’s done weird things when she was younger, maybe this could be something similar.

I started to whisper all the good things about me, telling myself that I was doing this to save my family. These lies were to help my family and Brook was alright. Slowly though, the voices were gone but I didn’t leave my mothers embrace. I was scared that something was giong to happen if she let me go. But I opened my eyes and I saw the teacher wasn’t there.

“Come on baby, your coming home,” My mother said happily. She loved it when I was home, well if any of her kids were home. I nodded, slowly getting up and grabbing my things. Shaking from my break down. I got my homework and shoved everything in my backpack and my mom came with me to my locker, my sister came running down the halls and hugged my tight.

“You ok twinny?” She asked me. I hugged her back and nodded, nuzzling my head in her neck. She held me for a while when she pulled away, “You go home and calm down ok? I need to get back to class, I love you Wes,” She said with a smile on her face. I nodded, telling that I loved her too and hugged her again and she hugged mom and she left. I shut my locker and walked out with her out of the school after seeing Alex. She told me that dad knew about it and he was going to be with his friends until it was alright for everyone to be around me.

I forgot my pill again this morning and the only thing that got to me was everything that I was hiding. Maybe if I told my mom, then it would stop. I could only pray it would. When me and my mom got in the car, she had some music on, the good rock station and I was sitting there listening to it, feeling my phone vibrate. I grabbed it and saw that it was from Facebook and that it was from Z. Bat. I was actually really happy to hear from him. I was craving him, I just wanted to be with him right now.

Z.Bat: Hey babe, what’s up?

Me: Coming home from school.

Z. Bat: You alright baby?

My heart was racing, I loved it when he called me this, Me: Y-yeah, forgot my pill so I freaked out…

Z. Bat: I wish I was there for you, just…imagine me holding you baby, ok?

Me: Why are you so nice to me?

I sent the message and I got comfortable in the seat and snuggled into it, resting my head against the window, feeling arms wrap around me. I imagined it was him. But when I did, it freaked me out a little bit. Him, not her. I wished I wasn’t so different from everyone else, I wish I wasn’t me. Why did he have to go and say that?

Z. Bat: Because Wes, I am really liking you. You’ll see in two days baby, calm down alright? I’m here if you need me, alright?

Me: Thank you Z. Bat…I can’t wait till Friday…

Z. Bat: Neither can I my sweet love, now rest your precious head of yours *kisses forehead*

I felt myself blush when he did that. My heart was going a million miles an hour, this never ending smile growing on my face, which was a bad thing since I was in the car with my mom because next thing I know, she asked me if it was Brook. I wanted to tell her the truth so bad that it was on the tip of my tongue, the voices though was of course holding me back.

I got scared of my mom, that she was going to turn into this monster that was going to kill me or something if I didn’t tell her.

“Wesley, you know you can tell me anything, it’s alright baby boy, I won’t get mad,” She said and held my hand. If I didn’t tell her, I was going to have another mental break down. I need to tell her, just her, that’s it. If I couldn’t tell anyone else I could tell her.

I couldn’t! I couldn’t tell her, she was going to hate me, she wasn’t going to call me her son anymore. I was shaking, crying, gripping onto my phone wanting it to break. I was having a panic attack. I saw her pull over and cut off the engine and pulled me to her and held me.
“I like Zacky,” I spat. Finally, there’s one piece of the truth. She knows that I like the guy that played uncle since I was born. It was messed up, so messed up. Then she didn’t say anything, so, the voices told me what she was thinking. This made me grip onto her shirt and
cry.

“Shhhhh, Wes it’s alright,” She said. My head calmed down when I heard these words, she was telling me that it was ok, that I wasn’t a freak, all the good things about me. I wasn’t a nobody. These voices were wrong. I was able to breath now, so, I spilled everything.

“Oh baby boy,” She sighed and ran her fingers through my hair which calmed me down even more, “I hope everything goes good for you,” She said gently.

“Is dad going to get mad?” I asked looking up to her. The look on her face told me that there wasn’t a promise.

“He might get mad but Wes,” She said looking down to me. She cupped my cheek and kissed the top of my head, “He loves you with all of his heart. He wouldn’t be mad that your gay but that you were sneaking around and such but, that’s your choice too baby,” She told me.

I was better now, I hugged my mom and thanked her for everything. I just hope Friday was going to be alright.