________________________________________________________________________
“Wes, Brook’s here!” My little brother called down into the basement. I set my sticks down onto the snare drum and caught my breath, wrapping my headphones around my iPod and stuck it into my pocket and walked up the basement seeing my sister talking to Brook who looked…beautiful. She was wearing a dress and the way it hugged her body made her look really beautiful. Her hair was nice, she had some make up on too and she turned to me and gave me a small smile.
“Wow,” I said as she came closer to me. Her cheeks grew brighter red.
“Do you think I’m pretty, Wes?” She asked me. I smiled and grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it.
“Beautiful,” I smiled at her. Her cheeks going even a deeper red causing me to chuckle.
“Why don’t you show her around Wes,” My dad said coming into the living room, “I can go and get you guys a movie if you’d like,” He said. I nodded and gave him the movie title and he kissed the top of my head and ruffled my hair, whispering that he was proud of me. For some reason, this made my heart sink. I wasn’t sure at all that if what I was doing was right or not and it was scaring me. I mean, Zacky wasn’t leaving my head and that guy from Facebook, I was going to be meeting him Friday at the park and here I am breaking Brook’s heart even more.
I sighed, “Come on Brook I’ll show you around,” I said grabbing her hand. I showed her to the kitchen and to the living room, and down to the basement and showed her the instruments, posters, everything Avenged down here.
“Wow,” she said looking at the guitars, me, my mom and my dad’s kit, “This is beautiful Wes,” She said with a smile. I nodded, “How long have you played?” She asked.
“When I could walk,” I said looking at the kit, she was right, it did look beautiful. Sometimes I didn’t like it though because they would make fun of me because my parents were drummers, which I didn’t get why.
“Dang, can you play for me?” She asked sitting on the leather couch. I shrugged.
“Why not,” I chuckled and came behind the drum kit again and played something for her and when I was done, she gasped.
“Oh my God, Wes that was…beautiful,” She smiled at me. I shrugged and came and sat down beside her grabbing my parents laptop and logging on. She came and put her head on my shoulder which made me tense up. I relaxed after a while though and turned on Pinkly Smooth, my dad and uncle Brian’s old band and we listened to it while I checked my Facebook.
“Who’s,” She came and squinted at the monitor of the lap top, “Z. Bat?” She asked with a chuckle. I shrugged.
“I think it’s a fan. I am going to meet him Friday night at the park,” I told her. She nodded and I typed a reply to his message. He was asking me how I was and all that and I said that I was with my girlfriend and that got a beaming smile from Brook. I came and kissed the top of her head and held her hand as I shut the lap top lid.
“A-really Wes?” She asked me. I smiled and nodded.
“You’re my girl now, Brook,” I said. Only knowing that I was killing my friend, slowly and painfully I was hurting her. I was inching the knife into her heart. Maybe I just wanted to probe to people that I wasn’t gay, that I wasn’t what they thought I was. My father said he was proud of me, but, wouldn’t he hate me if I told him this? That I lied to him, brook, my sister, everyone just to prove that I wasn’t what I was?
My little brother came and got us for dinner, me asking where Sam was and he said that she was up in her room. I asked Brook if I could leave her with my crazy family and she chuckled and nodded. I kissed her cheek and ran upstairs to me twin’s room and gently knocked on it.
“Who is it?” I heard her ask.
“You better half,” I chuckled. She told me that I could com inside and I did, shutting the door behind me. I came and laud down beside her on her bed.
“What’s wrong sissy?” I asked her looking up to her ceiling that posters were hanging from. She sighed and brought her hand on top of mine.
“I’m scared for you twinny,” She said lightly, “I heard you freaking out and bleeding…I’ve always been worried for you,” She said sniffling. I looked to her and saw tears streaming down her face. I came and hugged my sister tight. I wished I never had this stupid mental illness. It was hurting everyone that I knew. It was hurting my sister, my parents, my little brother and my self.
“I’m sorry sissy,” I whispered holding her tight. I wanted to blame my mother for this but I could never do something like that. She was my everything. I was a mommy’s boy and I wasn’t afraid to admit it.
“No Wesley it’s not your fault,” She said hugging me close, “It’s no ones fault,” She said. I wanted to argue back but I held my tongue against it. After a while of holding my sister, she pulled away and asked me about Brook.
“She’s my girlfriend sissy,” I smiled and nuzzled my face in her neck, hiding my red cheeks. She looked at me wide eyes and blinked.
“I’m…I’m proud of you twinny,” She smiled at me and I hugged her tightly, the only thing on my mind though was how much everyone was going to hate me when they realized the truth.
**
Dinner with Brook was amazing. She wasn’t eating at first. So I took her away to talk to her and she said it was because of her weight problem and that was why she wasn’t eating.
“Brook, your not fat, no one is. Your beautiful the way you are,” I smiled to her and cupped her cheek. She looked down away from me.
“No ones ever told me that Wes, they always called me ugly,” She whispered. I felt bad for my Brook. I hugged her close while she cried in my shoulder and I told her all the beautiful and amazing things about her. Telling her that there was nothing at all wrong with her.
We came back and she started to eat and I leaned over and told her that I was proud of her and kissed her cheek which of course got my little brother to gag, my sister to chuckle and my parents to go into cahoots over all of it.
“Aw you two are so adorable,” My father said. Yeah, my dad was going all weird on us and my mother could just laugh. So with that, dinner was fun. My father had gotten us the movie and I made me and Brook popcorn while my dad and mom took my sister and brother upstairs so that they could play video games or something together. My parents believed in family time and we loved being with one another. Sure sometimes we had our fights but this family was close.
I came in with the popcorn and sat down next to my girlfriend who had her head on my shoulder as I pressed play on the DVD player. Brook and I sat there talking lightly about nothing really, me encouraging her about being how beautiful she was and how much I cared for her. I was so scared though, that all of this, my family, Brook, that it was all going to leave me in just a few short words.
I held onto it though, I held onto everything for dear life, wishing that none of it would go away from me.
**
School was, alright I guess. Brook and I were holding hands down the hallway, people whispering things about us causing me to grow angry while Brook suffered in silence. I went to my special class, my friend Rose wasn’t there either which mean that today was probably her off day which we both get every now and again. Lunch on the other hand, now that was strange in itself. Brook was gone, left because she wasn’t feeling so good. I knew the exact reason why though.
So, I took my lunch to the ghost out computer room and logged on to my school account and hacked my way onto Facebook. I logged on and took a drink of my milk and saw that Brook was online as well as Z. Bat.
Great.
So, I talked to Brook first seems is how she lied to me but I didn’t care, I knew why and I would of done the same thing.
Me: Baby, you alright?
Brook: I think I’m sick Wes
Me: Sick to your stomach again?
Brook:…yes…
Me: What do you think they were saying, babe?She didn’t respond for a while which gave me an open window to say hi to Z. Bat then she answered.
Brook: That I am useless, I am ugly, fat, just pure nothing to everyone. My dad says the same things Wesley and your family treating me like a princess…
Me: That’s because you deserve it baby girl.
Brook: Why are you so nice to me?
Me: Because Brook, you’re my best friend, my beautiful girlfriend and you are so nice and kind and pretty. That dress you wore looked so beautiful on you. I can’t tell you how beautiful you are Brook. Ignore the voices. You know what helps me? Someone going and fighting them away from me. I can do that for you if you want.I clicked send and took a while to eat my lunch only to have Z. Bat send me like three instant chat messages.
Z. Bat: Hey beautiful
Z. Bat: Got a girl now?
Z. Bat: Can’t wait to see you Friday ;) This made butterflies grow in my stomach. Even though Brook was my girlfriend now, it just didn’t feel like she was. She just felt like my best friend and that was all. She didn’t feel like a girlfriend and what Z. Bat was doing to me, I couldn’t help but feel like this. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I was happy as hell to see him Friday.
Me: Hey! I do but…there’s something I need to tell you, and yes I can’t wait to see you too ;)
Z. Bat: What is it love?
Me: Even though were dating, it doesn’t feel right. Z. Bat…this is going to sound crazy but I can’t stop thinking about you…
Z. Bat: Neither can I. Wesley, I can’t explain to you how beautiful you are to me, when can we talk more? :/
Me: Soon, I think I can get my phone back tonight. I need to go though lunch is almost out.
Z. Bat: Alright, see you later my Wesley
Z. Bat is offline.I was smiling like a complete idiot and I hurried and logged off and threw much lunch away, never realizing my girlfriends message.
Throughout school, I was thinking about Z. Bat a lot. Him talking to me like he was made me feel great about myself. Then Friday, oh God I was never more excited about Friday. Even though I had to sneak out, it was going to be worth it.
When I got home, I did get my phone back. I hurried up and logged onto Facebook and couldn’t stop smiling, that it is until I saw my girlfriend’s message.