Seize The Day
Crossroads
SHANNON’S POV:
I stood out on the deck looking out onto the beach. It was peaceful here and exactly what I needed to get my head together. The guys sat at the table on the deck discussing their upcoming tour, but it seemed like I couldn’t hear them at all. I closed my eyes and took in the fresh air and let out a sigh.
“Earth to Shannon. You alive over there cupcake?” Brian said.
I snapped out of it, shaking my head a bit and looking at him.
“I’m alive. Just taking everything in.” I told him.
“Come over here.” Brian said, holding his hand out to me.
I took his hand and sat next to him at the table.
“Talk to us… what are you thinking?” He asked.
“At the moment, nothing actually.” I told him.
“Alright, so here’s a question, do you still want to go on tour with us?” Jimmy asked.
“I think it would be better if I didn’t actually.”
“Are you sure? Because it coming up really fast.” Matt said.
“I’m sure. I don’t think it would be good if I did right now anyways.”
“Ok. So what are you gonna do when we are gone?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe go stay at my parents house back in New York.”
“You’re actually going to go back there?” Jimmy asked.
“I think I have to.”
“You don’t actually. You can stay at the house when we are gone, that is your home too you know. And we can have one of our families come and check up on you if needed.” Brian said.
“No, I don’t want to be a hassle.”
“It won’t be. We just want you safe.” Matt said.
“I know you do hun.”
I understood that the guys wanted to protect me, and for me to be in their lives still. But I knew what needed to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~
We ended up going to the beach and hanging out. We didn’t get back till 7:00 at night. I wanted to turn my cell phone on and see how many calls and texts I got from Johnny and Zacky but I decided against it.
“I’m gonna take a bath. Does anyone need to get in the bathroom before I do?” I asked the guys.
“Nope, go ahead babe. We’re gonna start dinner. I’ll get you when it’s done.” Matt told me.
“Thanks.” I told him and headed for the bathroom.
I ran the water and headed to the guest room that I was staying it and gathered clean clothes and whatever else I’d need. Making my way back to the bathroom, I left the door open a crack and turned the water off. I stripped off my clothes and sank down into the water and just relaxed.
“To go back to New York, or not to go back to New York… that is the question.” I quietly said to myself as I sat back and closed my eyes.
I must have drifted off because I started to dream. In the dream Zacky was kissing me just like he did the night before. I never once pulled away; I was actually willing him to continue. He backed me up to the bed and gently lowered me onto it, straddling me. His lips never once left mine. He slid a hand down my pants and began to rub me slowly, teasingly, slipping a finger inside of me as he gently bit down on my lip.
“I love you Zacky.” I said through heavy breathing.
“I love you too baby.” He said as he moved his fingers at a faster pace.
My eyes fluttered shut, letting the feeling he was giving me take over my body. My breathing got heavier as he slid his free hand up my shirt, massaging my breast. I opened my eyes but the face staring back at me was no longer that of Zacky. It was now Johnny. I looked in his eyes right before he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was full of passion and love, the kind of kiss I always loved from Johnny. I felt my whole body shake as my climax hit but he never stopped. Placing his lips against my neck, sucking on a sweet spot as he pumped his fingers in deeper and faster.
“Say my name baby.” Johnny said before finding a new spot on my neck.
“Johnny…. Oh my god JOHNNY.” I moaned as I lifted my hips a bit to get him to reach new places.
“That’s my girl.” He said to me, placing a light kiss on my lips. “I love you baby.”
“I love you too Johnny.”
I instantly woke up, sitting upright in the tub and looked around.
“Fuck” I quietly said to myself.
I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
“Hey babe, dinner’s ready.” Matt said from the other side.
“Alright. I’ll be out in a few.”
I heard his footsteps as he walked away. Letting the water drain from the tub, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I towel dried my hair then threw it up into a messy bun then put on a pair of boy shorts and an over sized shirt which at second glance I realized it was Johnny’s shirt.
“Johnny…” I quietly said to myself as I smoothed the shirt down.
I closed my eyes and tried to control my emotions. I won’t cry anymore, I won’t let someone make me feel like this.
“Hey cupcake, you coming to eat?” Brian asked, opening the door a bit.
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
I followed Brian to the kitchen and sat next to Jimmy.
“Nice shirt.” Jimmy said and poked my side. “Isn’t that short shits?”
“Yeah. I… I didn’t even realize I packed it or even grabbed it when I went to take my bath.”
“I’m sure he won’t miss it.” Jimmy told me.
We ate and talked about a bunch of different things. No one brought up Johnny or Zacky which I didn’t mind. Although it was still going to be on my mind no matter what. Once we were done we cleared the table and cleaned up. Jimmy made us all a big ice cream sundae to share and we sat on the deck while we ate it.
“You were quiet all through dinner babe, what’s up?” Matt asked as he shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.
“Just thinking about a dream I had, that’s all.” I told him.
“What was the dream about?” Jimmy asked. “Was it a sexy one?”
“I don’t want to say.”
“Ohh come on. If it’s bugging you then it’s better to talk about it.” Jimmy said.
“Fine…. I ended up falling asleep when I was taking a bath and I dreamt about Zacky at first, he was kissing me, and then it led to other things. I told him I loved him and he said it back. Then when I closed my eyes in my dream and reopened them it was Johnny that I was looking at and not Zacky. Then I told Johnny I love him and he said it back too.”
“I was right! It was a sexy dream.” Jimmy said with a laugh.
“What do you think it means?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know honestly.”
“You know what you need to do babe? Sit them down one by one, spend some time with them then see who you have the deepest feelings for. You won’t know until you do something about it.” Matt said.
“What if I make the wrong choice? I don’t want to hurt either of them Matty.”
“Someone’s going to end up getting hurt either way. Rather it is one of them, or you. But you need to choose who you want to be with and let the other one go gently. If the other person cares about you enough then they will accept it and want you to be happy. If not then you can’t keep letting it bother you. You need to make the choice and be happy.” Matt told me.
“Or, here’s what you do… put them in a wrestling ring and have them beat the crap outta each other.” Jimmy said with a laugh.
“Noooo.” I said and looked at him.
“I’m only joking. Although I’d put my money on Zacky.” Jimmy told me.
“I don’t even want to think about that.”
“I know, I’m sorry squirt.” He said, picking up some ice cream and flinging it at me.
“HEY! No flinging ice cream. I’ll hurt you!” I told him as I pointed a finger at him.
“I missed on purpose.”
“Yeah sure you did.”
“Whatever just eat your side of ice cream.” Jimmy said, sticking his tongue out at me.
“I love you Jimmy.” I told him with a smile.
“You better.” He told me with a laugh. “I didn’t buy you an awesome birthday present for nothing.
“What did you get me?”
“You’ll just have to wait till your birthday.”
“That’s no fair!” I told him, putting a scoop of ice cream in my mouth.
“You’ll be ok! I promise.”
~~~~~~~~~~
We finished eating our ice cream around 9:00 and the guys started watching a movie in the living room. I decided to call it an early night since I barely got any sleep the night before. I knew I wouldn’t get much sleep again because I have too much on my mind.
I ended up waking up around 1 in the morning though. I turned over expecting to have Johnny there, and then I remembered where I was. Stretching a bit I reached for my cell phone and turned it on. The phone flashed the text message signal and the voice mail signal. 3 texts and 1 voicemail. Letting out a sigh I read through the messages one by one.
Text #1: I know you said you’re phone would be off, but there’s no hurt in trying. I miss you babe and I wish you would come home! ~Johnny
Text #2 : I’m going crazy here with him! I just want you to be home. ~Johnny
Text #3 : I Love You!!!!!!! ~Zacky
I went to my voicemail and listened to the message as well.
“Hey babe it’s Johnny. Sorry about all of the messages. I don’t know what else to do. I’m going crazy here being stuck in the house with him. I wish I could talk to you. I’m sorry about everything, I really am. I know you’re sick of hearing that and you probably don’t think it’s true… but I am more than anything. I love you hun.”
I shut the phone off and let out a sigh. I wanted to call him… to hear his voice. But I didn’t want him to think I was going to forgive him so easily.
And Zacky’s message… him telling me he loved me. Good god this is so hard. I don’t know what to do.
I didn’t want to be alone the rest of the night so I made the short distance walk down the hall to Matt’s room. I didn’t bother to knock, I knew he was sleeping so I just walked right in and crawled into bed with him. He shifted towards me, wrapping an arm around me and bringing me closer to him.
“You ok babe?” He asked in a sleepy voice.
“Yeah… I’m alright”
I stood out on the deck looking out onto the beach. It was peaceful here and exactly what I needed to get my head together. The guys sat at the table on the deck discussing their upcoming tour, but it seemed like I couldn’t hear them at all. I closed my eyes and took in the fresh air and let out a sigh.
“Earth to Shannon. You alive over there cupcake?” Brian said.
I snapped out of it, shaking my head a bit and looking at him.
“I’m alive. Just taking everything in.” I told him.
“Come over here.” Brian said, holding his hand out to me.
I took his hand and sat next to him at the table.
“Talk to us… what are you thinking?” He asked.
“At the moment, nothing actually.” I told him.
“Alright, so here’s a question, do you still want to go on tour with us?” Jimmy asked.
“I think it would be better if I didn’t actually.”
“Are you sure? Because it coming up really fast.” Matt said.
“I’m sure. I don’t think it would be good if I did right now anyways.”
“Ok. So what are you gonna do when we are gone?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe go stay at my parents house back in New York.”
“You’re actually going to go back there?” Jimmy asked.
“I think I have to.”
“You don’t actually. You can stay at the house when we are gone, that is your home too you know. And we can have one of our families come and check up on you if needed.” Brian said.
“No, I don’t want to be a hassle.”
“It won’t be. We just want you safe.” Matt said.
“I know you do hun.”
I understood that the guys wanted to protect me, and for me to be in their lives still. But I knew what needed to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~
We ended up going to the beach and hanging out. We didn’t get back till 7:00 at night. I wanted to turn my cell phone on and see how many calls and texts I got from Johnny and Zacky but I decided against it.
“I’m gonna take a bath. Does anyone need to get in the bathroom before I do?” I asked the guys.
“Nope, go ahead babe. We’re gonna start dinner. I’ll get you when it’s done.” Matt told me.
“Thanks.” I told him and headed for the bathroom.
I ran the water and headed to the guest room that I was staying it and gathered clean clothes and whatever else I’d need. Making my way back to the bathroom, I left the door open a crack and turned the water off. I stripped off my clothes and sank down into the water and just relaxed.
“To go back to New York, or not to go back to New York… that is the question.” I quietly said to myself as I sat back and closed my eyes.
I must have drifted off because I started to dream. In the dream Zacky was kissing me just like he did the night before. I never once pulled away; I was actually willing him to continue. He backed me up to the bed and gently lowered me onto it, straddling me. His lips never once left mine. He slid a hand down my pants and began to rub me slowly, teasingly, slipping a finger inside of me as he gently bit down on my lip.
“I love you Zacky.” I said through heavy breathing.
“I love you too baby.” He said as he moved his fingers at a faster pace.
My eyes fluttered shut, letting the feeling he was giving me take over my body. My breathing got heavier as he slid his free hand up my shirt, massaging my breast. I opened my eyes but the face staring back at me was no longer that of Zacky. It was now Johnny. I looked in his eyes right before he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was full of passion and love, the kind of kiss I always loved from Johnny. I felt my whole body shake as my climax hit but he never stopped. Placing his lips against my neck, sucking on a sweet spot as he pumped his fingers in deeper and faster.
“Say my name baby.” Johnny said before finding a new spot on my neck.
“Johnny…. Oh my god JOHNNY.” I moaned as I lifted my hips a bit to get him to reach new places.
“That’s my girl.” He said to me, placing a light kiss on my lips. “I love you baby.”
“I love you too Johnny.”
I instantly woke up, sitting upright in the tub and looked around.
“Fuck” I quietly said to myself.
I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
“Hey babe, dinner’s ready.” Matt said from the other side.
“Alright. I’ll be out in a few.”
I heard his footsteps as he walked away. Letting the water drain from the tub, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I towel dried my hair then threw it up into a messy bun then put on a pair of boy shorts and an over sized shirt which at second glance I realized it was Johnny’s shirt.
“Johnny…” I quietly said to myself as I smoothed the shirt down.
I closed my eyes and tried to control my emotions. I won’t cry anymore, I won’t let someone make me feel like this.
“Hey cupcake, you coming to eat?” Brian asked, opening the door a bit.
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
I followed Brian to the kitchen and sat next to Jimmy.
“Nice shirt.” Jimmy said and poked my side. “Isn’t that short shits?”
“Yeah. I… I didn’t even realize I packed it or even grabbed it when I went to take my bath.”
“I’m sure he won’t miss it.” Jimmy told me.
We ate and talked about a bunch of different things. No one brought up Johnny or Zacky which I didn’t mind. Although it was still going to be on my mind no matter what. Once we were done we cleared the table and cleaned up. Jimmy made us all a big ice cream sundae to share and we sat on the deck while we ate it.
“You were quiet all through dinner babe, what’s up?” Matt asked as he shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.
“Just thinking about a dream I had, that’s all.” I told him.
“What was the dream about?” Jimmy asked. “Was it a sexy one?”
“I don’t want to say.”
“Ohh come on. If it’s bugging you then it’s better to talk about it.” Jimmy said.
“Fine…. I ended up falling asleep when I was taking a bath and I dreamt about Zacky at first, he was kissing me, and then it led to other things. I told him I loved him and he said it back. Then when I closed my eyes in my dream and reopened them it was Johnny that I was looking at and not Zacky. Then I told Johnny I love him and he said it back too.”
“I was right! It was a sexy dream.” Jimmy said with a laugh.
“What do you think it means?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know honestly.”
“You know what you need to do babe? Sit them down one by one, spend some time with them then see who you have the deepest feelings for. You won’t know until you do something about it.” Matt said.
“What if I make the wrong choice? I don’t want to hurt either of them Matty.”
“Someone’s going to end up getting hurt either way. Rather it is one of them, or you. But you need to choose who you want to be with and let the other one go gently. If the other person cares about you enough then they will accept it and want you to be happy. If not then you can’t keep letting it bother you. You need to make the choice and be happy.” Matt told me.
“Or, here’s what you do… put them in a wrestling ring and have them beat the crap outta each other.” Jimmy said with a laugh.
“Noooo.” I said and looked at him.
“I’m only joking. Although I’d put my money on Zacky.” Jimmy told me.
“I don’t even want to think about that.”
“I know, I’m sorry squirt.” He said, picking up some ice cream and flinging it at me.
“HEY! No flinging ice cream. I’ll hurt you!” I told him as I pointed a finger at him.
“I missed on purpose.”
“Yeah sure you did.”
“Whatever just eat your side of ice cream.” Jimmy said, sticking his tongue out at me.
“I love you Jimmy.” I told him with a smile.
“You better.” He told me with a laugh. “I didn’t buy you an awesome birthday present for nothing.
“What did you get me?”
“You’ll just have to wait till your birthday.”
“That’s no fair!” I told him, putting a scoop of ice cream in my mouth.
“You’ll be ok! I promise.”
~~~~~~~~~~
We finished eating our ice cream around 9:00 and the guys started watching a movie in the living room. I decided to call it an early night since I barely got any sleep the night before. I knew I wouldn’t get much sleep again because I have too much on my mind.
I ended up waking up around 1 in the morning though. I turned over expecting to have Johnny there, and then I remembered where I was. Stretching a bit I reached for my cell phone and turned it on. The phone flashed the text message signal and the voice mail signal. 3 texts and 1 voicemail. Letting out a sigh I read through the messages one by one.
Text #1: I know you said you’re phone would be off, but there’s no hurt in trying. I miss you babe and I wish you would come home! ~Johnny
Text #2 : I’m going crazy here with him! I just want you to be home. ~Johnny
Text #3 : I Love You!!!!!!! ~Zacky
I went to my voicemail and listened to the message as well.
“Hey babe it’s Johnny. Sorry about all of the messages. I don’t know what else to do. I’m going crazy here being stuck in the house with him. I wish I could talk to you. I’m sorry about everything, I really am. I know you’re sick of hearing that and you probably don’t think it’s true… but I am more than anything. I love you hun.”
I shut the phone off and let out a sigh. I wanted to call him… to hear his voice. But I didn’t want him to think I was going to forgive him so easily.
And Zacky’s message… him telling me he loved me. Good god this is so hard. I don’t know what to do.
I didn’t want to be alone the rest of the night so I made the short distance walk down the hall to Matt’s room. I didn’t bother to knock, I knew he was sleeping so I just walked right in and crawled into bed with him. He shifted towards me, wrapping an arm around me and bringing me closer to him.
“You ok babe?” He asked in a sleepy voice.
“Yeah… I’m alright”
