' Facing my demons... '

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I wondered a thousand times since i woke up if I should go to have breakfast with Mr. Sanders. Yesterday was not a quite pleasant day for me and having him interfering on my emotional feeling without knowing me was not something i'd expect. I always have been on the dark side of my life and i am used to fake all kind of emotions to everybody, to my family, to Kim and to Jason, my two year old boyfriend, but when Mr Sanders said those words... It seemed my whole world had crushed down at my feet. I felt vulnerable, weak, fragile in front of him. It felt like he had put a spell on me and i was without my protection shield in front of him... Thinking about that makes me feel ashamed for walk in on him just because he said something that touched right on my open wounded. I really should measure the way people affect me. Tired of standing in front of the mirror looking at me pale face, my tied brown hair, my purple sweater and my jeans, i got out of the bathroom to pick up my phone, placing it on my jean pocket and i got out of the room, locking it and bringing the key with me. Kim didn't slept here last night, so i supposed that she might be with Mr Sanders' friend and i doubt that she's going to come back. At least until lunch. I know her too well. I stand now on the entrance of the hotel restaurant. The smell of the all types of breakfast food captured my nose leaving me with the famish sensation. I scan the room, looking for a brown haired, well dressed, with dimples smile that takes my breath away, and i found him, sitting on his own, reading the newspaper near to a window that goes from the ceiling to the ground that gives me a full vision of the swimming pool. I walk towards him and my heart starts to beat at a full speed. He wears a white shirt and from what i can see, black suit pants. He must be a business man for dressing like that. When i am just a few meters away, he looks at me and smiles. Oh those dimples...
-Good morning Miss Scali. - he says folding the newspaper and stands up.

- Good morning Mr. Sanders. - With a weak voice i managed to say.

- Please, take a sit. - He gestures for me to sit on the chair that is across from him. I sit, and he follows me, sitting back on his chair.


- I'm glad you accepted my offer.- I smile weakly and I scan the table. I notice that there's all kinds of fruits, some croissants, toasts, orange juice, some slices of bread, strawberry jam and some milk. Does he expects me to eat all this?


- You can serve yourself. Eat whatever you want Miss Scali. - I look up to him and he is smiling. I nod, not finding anything to say, and grabbed a croissant and on my knife, slice it on the middle and reach for some strawberry jam.

- Would you like some orange juice, Miss Scali?

- Yes please. - I begin to eat my croissant as i watch him pouring some juice on my cup. He pours some juice on his cup too, raising his glass to take a sip of it. I glance to the window and notice that there's some children playing on the swimming pool. Laughing and enjoying their time away from school.

- Miss Scali.- I turn my head to look at Mr Sanders who is with an indecipherable expression.

- Alexis, please. - I give him a side smile and he looks at me intensely.

- Alexis - he nods, - I want to apologize for what happened yesterday. It was not my intention to make you cry.

- It's okay. Yesterday was a tough day for me. - i say looking down at my plate. Well to be honest, everyday is, in fact always tough for me. Being at university it's a tough job for me. Having tons of work to do, reviews of books, and many other things are such an exhausting thing, but there's a part of me that enjoys it. I always loved literature and i'm quite studying to live my dream in a few years. But besides that my life had always been tough. Not having too many friends to talk to, or rather none, going to school just because it was my obligation and fighting against the beast inside me was not the best teenage years.


- It was for me too - he said taking a sip of his juice. I frowned wondering what is his job to be this tough. He might sit all day at his desk, doing nothing.


- I'm the owner of the Cosmopolitan magazine industry. - I nod, again finding nothing else to say. Why this has to be so awkward? Maybe because you are awkward. Oh, shut up! Like i said, he must be sitting on his desk everyday, doing nothing and admiring the view of the city from his window. That's what bosses do, right?


- How come such an Italian lovely lady as yourself ends up in the Big Apple? - He looks at me intensively and i bit my lip.


- Uh... I study here. At the university. - I said shyly. He smiles showing his dimples again and my heart races, making my breath uneven. Why is he making me feel like that ? Duh, because he is handsome, and your drooling on him like you never saw a perfect man like him. Well okay, he is in fact handsome, and i'd never thought that i'd be here, taking breakfast with the owner of the Cosmopolitan mag. How awesome is that, right? And thinking that last night Kim was the one who wanted to meet him, of course with other intentions, but it turned out that i am the one who is taking breakfast with Mr Handsome-Sanders.



- You seem pretty caged on your thoughts Miss Scali. - He said bringing me back to reality.


- Uh... Just thinking about my friend Kim. She didn't slept here last night. - He smiled.


- Oh, i think Miss Patterson and my friend got pretty closed last night that she hadn't the courage to leave him alone. - he arched an eyebrow and I chuckled.


- Okay, I guess i don't need the details. - I said without thinking.


- I wasn't going to give away any details, because i'm not interested on my friend's sex life, but if you want me to talk about the subject - he liked his lower lip - let's say that i'm an expert on that. - I blushed looking down feeling all my insides getting excited by hearing his chanting words. Why the heck do i have to talk before the information reaches my brain? Now i'm here trying to calm inner goddess and myself as well. I take a deep breath and look up to him.


- I think it's too early for... Talking about... That. - i said embarrassed and trying to understand when this turned out to be a sex conversation. Oh! Yes, Kim. I wonder if she's Okay. Probably she is.


- Oh, it's never too early to talk about sex, Miss Scali. - Oh my God. The way my name comes out of his mouth makes my whole body inside to melt. What is happening to me? Not being able to say something to him, because my brain just blocked, we stay looking at each other for mere minutes. I can see his intense gaze on me, or better, I can feel it.


- You should finish your breakfast Miss Scali. - Oh. Right. My breakfast. How the hell am i supposed to finish my breakfast when all my inside is acting strangely?


- I don't think i can eat more. - i said almost whispering. Act as a woman for God's sake!



- I invited you to take breakfast with me, so i'd be very disappointed if you didn't finished your breakfast correctly. I don't want a beautiful lady as yourself to faint in the middle of the streets. - he said and i start eating without objecting. He has such a way with words. If this was said by Jason i think i'd didn't act like this. Thinking of Jason, i wonder what he is doing now. He didn't called me last night. I made a mental note to call him later when this torturing breakfast is finished. We finished our breakfast silently and minutes after i felt the beast's presence. Please, please, please don't vomit in front of him!



- Is everything okay Miss Scali ?- I felt the concern on his voice.


- I just have to go to the bathroom. - i said standing up and walking, almost running to the nearest bathroom inside the hotel restaurant. Once inside, i locked myself on the cabinet and bow down, inserting my fingers on my mouth. There you go! Are you happy beast?! Always getting the best of me! After what seemed like an eternity, i flushed the toilet and walked out of the cabinet only to be face- to- face with the guy that can block my brain with his words. I swallowed hard fearing his reaction, but then i regret doing that because i tasted my own medicine. Staring at me, not moving, not speaking, just blinking. My breath starts to become uneven by not being able to move.



- What were you doing in there?- He asked frowning and i felt my heart jump up to my throat. Never, and i repeat, neveri was confronted with this situation. No one had even found that i had a beast inside of me, and yet, here i am with a guy that i barely know for 24 hours that asks the question i feared the most.



- Nothing- I whispered blinking.


- Tel me the truth. - he orders. How the fuck am i supposed to tell you the truth when i don't even trust you?


- Alexis, tell me the truth.


- I said it was nothing!


- You were retching weren't you? - Fuck. I look down not being able to look at him. Those words sound like poison in my mouth.


- Answer me! - I looked up to him and i saw his hazel loving eyes turning into grey, full of anger, which i don't know why. He walks towards me and i stepped back until my back was in contact with the cabinets wall. He placed both of his hands on the wall, trapping me.


- Were you, or were you not retching?


- Yes - i breathe and closed my eyes swallowing again. For the first time i was face-to-face with the beast and it was so difficult to admit that. I felt him taking a deep breath and i opened my eyes.


- Why? - Oh God don't do this to me, please.I felt tears forming on my eyes while looking at him. He is so different from this morning. Why is he acting like this? I don't have nothing to do with him. With a loud sob, i take my hand to cup my face and i was there, in front of him, pouring out my emotions to a man that i barely know. I felt arms embrace me, one arm on my back while the other was on the back of my head, smoothing me. I didn't move, i just continued to sob, and sob while my hands where in my face to hide the shame i was feeling.


- Hush - he was rocking me back and forth while i continued on sobbing. I think i never sobbed this hard. Not even with Jason. Oh my God, Jason. If he finds out he's going to give me an headache and argue with me because someone found something secret about me before him. How the fuck am i going to deal with that? Or better, how am i going to tell him? Maybe if i ask Mr Sanders, he wont tell anyone. I hope not. Just the thought of having my family blaming me, or them for this it just makes me even more sick than i am. He pulls away from me and cups my head with his hands, brushing the tears with his thumps.


- Come. - he takes my hand, leading me out of the bathroom.



- Where are we going? - I asked with an hoarse voice when i noticed that we were heading towards the exit of the hotel.


- I'mm going to take you to the hospital. - He said dryly not looking back at me. No!


- I-I can't go. - i said trying to make him stop, which it worked. He looked down at me intensely, fuming almost.


- I-I'm afraid of hospitals. - I said trying to take the idea of going to the hospital from his head. It's true, i'm terrified of hospitals. Well, just since this thing started a long time ago.


- I'm not taking you to a public hospital, if that's what you're thinking. i'm taking you to my private doctor. - I frowned.


- To his house. - he continued to walk down the hotel entrance and a man came, nodding his head delivered him some keys, and he lead me towards his car.


- But i'm fine. I don't need a doctor. Maybe this was just something that my stomach didn't accepted too well.


- I could see that you were retching, and for me that's one of the reasons for me to take you to a doctor, Miss Scali - We stopped in front of an Audi A4, black. He pressed a button on his key, and opened the passenger's door for me.


- Get in. - he orders and i got in without objecting.


What did i got myself into? Why did i accepted taking breakfast with him? Why?!