I felt the pressure of the doctor's hands on my chest. The heavy blow took my breath away. I was numb. I couldn't feel a thing. I reached down for Kaylen's hand and it wasn't there anymore. I wasn't even in the same place anymore. I was gone. I was dead.

I sprang up in the bed, with beads of sweat, running down my forehead. I looked over at Kaylen, shuffling underneath the covers, my sudden movement must have woken her.

"Baby, are you ok?" she asked sleepily.

"What's wrong?" I looked at her and forced a smile.

"Nothing babe, I just had a bad dream."

I didn't want to tell her what it was really about. I didn't really think that she needed to know. She had been through enough with the baby news and everything without me making it worse on her by telling her about a senseless dream.

She looked at me with a smile as he leaned into me, wrapping an arm around my frame. I put my arm around her.

"I love you." she said. I kissed her hair.

"Lets go back to sleep." I smiled.

I slumped back down onto the bed, placing my head back down on the pillow. I pulled her close to me again, wrapping my arms around her, kissing her forehead. Everything that was happening at that point was exactly why I was afraid of dying. I knew that I wouldn't be able to have those moments with her anymore.

She laid back onto the pillow. I adjusted my self onto my side to face her. She smiled. I reached up and ran a hand through her hair.

"I love you." I said as I leaned in a kissed her gently.

“I love you, too Zack.” She said snuggling into me.

I never wanted her to not be able to have babies. I’ve always wanted them, especially with her. She was my everything, and nothing; not even this cancer that’s taken a hold of my body could change that.

“I’m scared.” I heard her mutter from my chest. That broke my heart.

“Don’t be baby, everything will be fine.” I reassured her, kissing her head.

“Promise?” She questioned, looking at me. I nodded.

“I promise, baby.” I told her, kissing her once more.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, as I pulled her onto me. My hands rested on her lower back as her hands tangled themselves in my hair. She moaned as I kissed her neck, rolling us over, so I were on top.
She pulled me closer, as if she didn’t want me to go anywhere, that made me feel secure. I knew she never wanted to let go, and she’d be with me til the end.

“Zack, make love to me.” She whispered against my lips, I nodded, pulling mine and her boxers off. I reached up, taking her over sized shirt off.

I bent down, kissing her chest all over. She moaned at my touch, gripping my hair, yet again. My lips connected back to hers, as I slowly pushed myself in her. She moaned, arching her back, as I set myself at a steady pace.

“Oh god, baby.” She moaned, looking at me.

“Mmm.” I moaned, rocking my hips, going deeper.

“I love you so much Zack.” She sighed.

“I love you, too baby.” I whispered, attaching my lips onto her.

I squeezed her thighs, as she moaned into my mouth. This was the heaven I’d always want to be in. I found myself coming to a end. I knew she was as well. After a hour and a half, we both found ourselves nearing; reaching our climax.

“Oh baby, I’m fixing to cum.” She moaned, as I thrusted into her.

“Oh mmm, baby.” I moaned, finishing off in her. Hopefully this time, this would take. I laid on the empty space in the bed, breathing heavy.

“That was amazing.” She spoke, breath ragged.

“It was, baby.” I said, pulling her into my arms. I kissed her shoulder.

“Goodnight Zack. I love you.” She spoke. I smiled against her hair.

“Night Kay, I love you, too.” I replied, closing my eyes, drifting off into a deep slumber.

Seeping through the shades, the sun had woken me up. I sat up, looking down at Kaylen, who was still sound asleep. I smiled thinking about last night; no one’s ever asked me to make love to them. I just hoped that she could get pregnant before my nightmare came true.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts; getting out of bed. I slid my robe on, walking downstairs to the kitchen. I put on some coffee, grabbing my Marlboro’s, lighting one. I sat at the bar, waiting on the coffee to finish.

I propped my head on my hand, thinking about the Chemo and Radiation. I thought about Kaylen, and the babies that her and I both lost. I hated that she was the one that had to have surgery to get the still birthed baby out. It broke my heart to know that she hated herself, because she couldn’t give me a baby.

The coffee pot sounded, letting me know that it was finished. I got up, and poured myself a cup; then adding creamer and sugar. I sat back down in my place, reaching for the book that Dr. Masterson had given me about my cancer and cancer treatments. I read over the title, Liver Cancer and treatments.

Liver cancer or hepatic cancer is properly considered to be a cancer which starts in the liver, as opposed to a cancer which originates in another organ and migrates to the liver, known as a liver metastasis.

For a thorough understanding of liver cancer it is important to have an understanding of how the liver functions. The liver is one of the largest organs in the body. It is located below the right lung and under the ribcage. The liver is divided into two lobes: the right lobe and the left lobe. Protein is obtained by the liver from the portal vein, which carries nutrient-rich blood from the intestines to the liver.

The hepatic artery supplies the liver with blood that is rich oxygen Liver cancer thus consists of the presence of malignant hepatic tumors, growths on or in the liver. Liver tumors may be discovered on medical imaging, which may occur incidentally to imaging performed for a different disease than the cancer itself, or may present symptomatically, as an abdominal mass, abdominal pain, jaundice, nausea or some other liver dysfunctions.

Hepatocellular carcinoma, or malignant hepatoma is a primary malignancy of the liver. Most cases of HCC are secondary to either a viral hepatatide infection; hepatitis B or C, or cirrhosis; alcoholism being the most common cause of hepatic cirrhosis. In countries where hepatitis is not endemic, most malignant cancers in the liver are not primary HCC but metastasis (spread) of cancer from elsewhere in the body; the colon.

Treatment options of HCC and prognosis are dependent on many factors but especially on tumor size and staging. Tumor grade is also important. High-grade tumors will have a poor prognosis, while low-grade tumors may go unnoticed for many years, as is the case in many other organs, such as the breast, where a ductal carcinoma in situ maybe present without any clinical signs and without correlate on routine imaging tests, although in some occasions it may be detected on more specialized imaging studies like MR mammography.

I closed it, I had to. Tears fled down my face, as Kaylen walked in smiling. I quickly wiped them, giving her a sad smile. I hoped she didn’t see, I didn’t want to be the cause of another bad day for her.

She came over, wrapping her arms around me. She kissed my temple. I rubbed her arms, tears wanted to come out my eyes. I couldn’t hold them in. I broke.

“Baby, what in the world?” She asked me, taking my face in her hands.

“I’m so scared. I don’t want to die. I want to be with you; I can’t be in the dirt, and you here defending for yourself.” I cried. She wrapped her arms around me, rubbing my back, sniffling on her own.

“Baby, your not going to die. I won’t let you. We don’t have to worry about babies right now, I just want you to get better. We can always adopt. I promise, Zack.” She told me, in tears. I knew it took a lot for her to say that.

I knew how much she wanted babies. I nodded, laying my head against her chest. I hated for her to even say that, but I was, too, happy because I didn’t want her to have another miscarriage because of worrying about me.