Save Me

"Your son?", she asked with a shocked expression on her face.

Brian sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

“I don't want to talk about it.”, he said.

Jenn looked at him. His jaw was now clenched, and so were his fists.

“Why?”, she asked softly.

He glared at her. “I don't have to justify myself. I said I don't want to talk about it!”, he almost shouted the last part.

It was Jenn's turn to sigh. “Okay, why do you want to talk about then?”

“Who said I wanted to talk?”, he snapped.

Jenn started to get annoyed. “Look, Brian. If you decide to act like this, I won't be able to help you…”

“And I told you I didn't want your help.”, he replied immediately.

“What do you want?”, she tried. She wanted Brian to talk. About himself.

“My son.”, he simply said, still looking at the ground.

“I'm sure he has the right to visit you. You just had to ask to Dr. Grey…”

“Dr. Grey doesn't know about my son.”, he pointed.

Jenn looked at him confused. “Is there someone in the hospital who knows about your son?”, she wanted to know.

“You.”, he raised his head and looked at her in the eyes.

“Nobody else?”

He shook his head. He rested his chin on his knees. He looked sad.

“Why did you tell me?”, Jenn asked. He shrugged.

“So, who knows?”, she continued.

He looked at her like she was stupid. “My friends. My dad, his wife and….that's all.”

“The boy also has a mother, Brian. Why didn't you mention her?”

Brian's fists clenched again. He started to breath heavily. He got up furiously and ran across the room. He yelled in anger and started to hit the wall with his clenched fist.

Jenn was still sat against the opposite wall, and looked at Brian, terrified.

“Br…Brian, calm down, it's okay. I… I'm sorry, I didn't know I was touching a sensible nerve…”, she tried to apologize.

Brian stopped hitting the wall and turned slowly to look at her.

“What?!”, he shouted in disbelief.

Jenn was more than confused. Why did he mean `what?' ?

“Don't act like you're a perfect innocent girl. You know …the reason… you know why I'm here.”

Jenn searched in her memory. He was here because he murdered his girlfriend…. Oh! Was this girl the mother of…?

“Oh… I didn't thought about it… I mean… “

“You mean what?”, he cut her off. He moved closer to her. “ Don't lie to me. Don't act like if you can stay in a room with me without thinking of what I did or who I am…”

Jenn was terrified once again because Brian had his arms on each side of her body again… and she was backed against the wall… once again.

“I didn't think of it, I swear…”, she whispered.

“LIE!”, Brian yelled. Jenn started to breathe heavily. She was panicked.

“Look, you're terrorized.”, Brian laughed. An evil laugh. “And that's because you know what I did to these nurses or whatever they were. Do you know what I did to them, Dr. Vegan?”

“You…you…you injured them.”, she responded.

Brian laughed. “Injured… Yeah you could say that. The first nurse, the blonde, I don't remember hearing the sound of her voice. I didn't let her talk. I grabbed her neck, just like this…”, he placed his hand around Jenn's neck. “…and then I started to hit her head against the wall. Of yes! I heard her voice, because she was crying and screaming. She was sooo annoying, so I wanted her to shut the fuck up, you know? Haha, so I started to punch her with my other hand. Her face was covered in blood it was so funny. The other one, she just came in the room and…”

“STOP!”, Jenn yelled.

She was more than scared about Brian's reaction. But she had to have him to stop.

Brian was looking at her with curious eyes. He took his and off her neck, and placed it against the wall again.

“Why did you do that, Brian?”, she asked softly. Brian looked deep in her eyes.

“Did what?”

“Beating the nurse, the blonde?”. Jenn expected Brian to get mad again. But what she saw wasn't what she expected. At all.

She saw Brian's eyes water. His was biting his lower lip so hard. It started to bleed.

And then, he cried. He was silent, though. Big round tears started to roll on his cheeks.

Jenn felt totally useless. She looked at him. She had a sorry expression on her face.

Brian surprised her once again, because he moved closer to her and hugged her lightly.

“Talk to me.”, she whispered in Brian's ear.

Jenn was perfectly aware that she wasn't respecting the normal procedures. But Brian was a special case.

“She…. She looked so much like her… “, Brian started.

“Like who, Brian?”, Jenn asked softly.

“Michelle.”, he sobbed.

“I'm so sorry Brian, I… I don't know who's Michelle.”, Jenn said, hoping Brian wouldn't get mad again.

Brian started to shake. “Calm down, Brian. You'll be okay. Just talk. You'll feel better.”

She felt Brian tighten his embrace. She didn't say anything though. Brian was starting to talk, and she needed to hear what he has to say.

“She…she's the mother of my son.”, he answered. He wasn't crying anymore. He sounded angry again.

He pulled away from Jenn, and stepped back.

Realization hit Jenn's mind. “Okay…”. She hesitated. She had to know what happened the day Brian killed… this girl called Michelle but she didn't want to have him going crazy one more time.

“What are you thinking about?”, she heard Brian ask.

She trembled. “I… I was debating with myself.”, she answered truthfully.

Brian chuckled. “About what?”

Jenn looked at her feet. “I have a question to ask but I don't want to wake you anger up with it…”

She looked at Brian, and it was obvious that he was tensed now. He crossed his arm over his chest. “Well, go on.”

“I don't know if it's a good idea. I think you're not ready to talk about it…”, she said to him.

“You're afraid of me?”

She bit her lip. “I take that for a yes. You're like everybody else. I'm just a monster in an asylum for you !”

She frowned. “First, it's not true. And secondly, why do you care about my opinion about you? Or people's opinion about you?”

He looked at her in disbelief. “Because it hurts to know that everybody hates you.”

Jenn moved closer to Brian and placed a hand on his shoulder. She waited a few seconds. “I don't hate you, Brian. I simply don't know you well enough to understand when your angry part comes to the surface. And I don't want to take the risk to put myself in danger…”

“So, you think I'm a danger?”

“Yes Brian. You can't deny it. When your comportment changes, you know because of your disorder, I think you don't know very well what's going on through your mind, you're not responsible of your actions. In fact… That's why you're here Brian.”

“Yeah, and the other…people like you tried to regulate my behavior but none of them succeeded. “, he added.

“They didn't have the good method. They were focused on your behavior, not on the reasons of your behavior. I don't know you for long, but I think that you went through a kind of traumatism and that's when your disease…started, if I can say it like this. “

“If you say so….”

“That's why we need to talk, Brian. I need to know more things about you, about your past. But I'm sure you're not ready to talk about everything. We've got two months to do it, Brian. And I won't give up easily.”, she smiled.

She looked at her watch. She opened wide eyes. “Wow, I've been in here for three hours!”

Brian's eyes darkened. “And what? It's a new record? You spent three hours with the beast, so now everybody here will respect you?”, he snapped.

Jenn blinked several times. “No…, no Brian, not at all. It's just that I have to go. It's getting late. It has nothing to do with you.”.

Brian's expression softened. “Okay, sorry…”

What? Did she really heard Brian Haner say `sorry' ?

She smiled to him. “It's okay Brian. I have to go now.”

“When will you come again?”

Jenn chuckled. “I don't know. I think you need some time to… think. Think about your past, Brian. I know there's something that is haunting you. You have to be ready to talk about it, with me or with someone else, okay?”

“I never talked about my life with a doctor…”

“I know. You have to try, though. That's why I'm giving you time. I'll ask to Dr. Grey to check on you. Let him know when you're ready to talk. It must be your decision, Brian. I don't have to force you.”, she explained.

“Oh… You won't come until I'm ready to talk?”

Jenn noticed a bit of disappointment in his tone. “Unless you need me for… some reason.”

Brian nodded.

“Allright. Goodbye Brian. See you next time!”

And then she exited the room.

She sighed heavily.

“So, how was it?”, she saw Todd walking toward her.

“Better than what I expected, but this Haner is… really special. I haven't met a patient like him before. He's really interesting.”

Todd nodded. “And Jenn, so you think there's a chance for him to heal or something?”

Jenn took her time to answer. “Actually, yes. But it depends a lot on him. Can I ask you something, Todd?”

“Everything you want, Jenn.”, he smiled.

“Can you check personally on him every day? I said to him to let you know when he's ready to talk about….you know… himself, his past,…”, she asked, hope filling her green eyes.

“Uh… Yeah I can do that, Jenn, but do you think it's a good idea?”, he asked, his eyebrow raised.

“Trust me, Todd.”, she smiled.

The older man nodded, and went back to his office. Jenn watched him walk, in this long and cold corridor.

She wasn't afraid anymore. She was determined to succeed.