The familiar smell of whiskey hits my nostrils, and I fight to get away from his grasp. He's too strong, his body pinning mine to the bed.

No one will hear you scream. His voice echoes through my head.

I start to cry at his words. No matter how much I try to fight him off, it's no use, he always wins.

When I awake in the morning, I'm tangled in my sheets, still wearing only my bra and panties. My dress still lies on the floor next to my bed. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I know it wasn't a very good sleep.

I sit up in bed, immediately regret it, and return my head to the pillow. I need to stop drinking so much. I have to learn to have a little control.

The memory of last night returns to my mind. I feel so guilty for the way I acted with Brian. I can't believe myself. I should call him and apologize.

Should I call him, though? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? He probably never wants to see me again. He probably thinks I'm a crazy bitch. I can't say he's not right, if he is thinking that, I would be too.

I decide against calling him, and slowly sit back up in bed. I untangle the sheets from my legs, and make my way to the bathroom to shower. The cool water feels good, as it washes down my body, and it makes me momentarily forget my problems.

--

It's been two weeks, and Brian hasn't tried to contact me. I haven't tried contacting him either, though. I think it is safe to say, at this point, that he's probably moved on and forgotten about me. After all, we only hung out a total of two times. I still can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something with him, though. I wish I could go back and redo the moments we hung out, I wouldn't be an idiot, I would've made a friend, several friends. It would be nice to have friends again.

On the bright side, I did find a job, so I have to give myself credit for this. A local law firm was looking for help, and I immediately applied and got accepted for the position. Unlike the scuzzy law firm of guys that I interviewed for several weeks ago, the boss at this firm is a lady, and she's been great to work with, so far.

I can't believe that I'm actually going to be a lawyer soon. Though I have my degree, Lindsey, the boss, felt it was necessary I have some training first, before going off on my own. I can't say I don't agree with her. I've never actually held the title of being a lawyer, when I worked at the firm with Lucas, I was his assistant. He always told me I would have the first position that opened at his law firm, but looking back on it, I'm sure that was just a lie to keep me there with him, so he could continue to get into my pants.

Men are such assholes.

- Another two weeks later -

Lindsey insisted that I go out to dinner with her tonight to celebrate my first case. I haven't won it yet, let alone started on it, but she was super excited to hand me my first case, and insisted that we celebrate. I've finally worked my way up to being a full time lawyer, in what is just under four short weeks of being at the firm.

As the waiter seats us at our table, Lindsey orders a bottle of champagne, not even giving him a chance to hand us our menus.

"Of course." He smiles, and disappears, returning shortly thereafter with a bottle of champagne. He pours the bubbly liquid into two glasses for us, before setting the bottle in a bucket of ice at our table. He takes our food orders, before disappearing again.

Later, as we are stuffing our mouths with the delicious pasta we ordered, Lindsey looks up and her eyes go wide.

"Oh my gosh." She says, wiping her mouth with her napkin and straightening herself in her chair.

I turn to look but she stops me. "Don't look. They're coming over here." She says, trying to contain her excitement.

"Who are you talking about?" I ask her.

"Avenged freaking Sevenfold." I've noticed that she seems to have an inability to cuss, and it makes me laugh every time. I'm giggling, when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Allison." I hear Matt's voice, and look up to be greeted by his dazzling smile and his dimples. "We haven't seen you in a while." He looks over to Lindsey, and sticks out his hand to her. "I'm Matt." He turns his smile to her now, and she beams, her eyes almost popping out of her head.

I clear my throat and nudge her under the table.

"I know." She sounds breathless. She shakes his hand, entirely too long, and I have to nudge her again, before she lets go. "I just mean that I know who you are, you're famous." She smiles at him. "I'm Lindsey, Allie's friend." It makes me feel good to know that she considers me a friend, considering she is my boss, and we've known each other for a little less than a month.

"I'm glad she's got a friend, finally." Johnny says, giving me smirk.

Lindsey looks at me with wide eyes. "You know these guys?"

"Sort of." I laugh at her expression. She is so taken aback by this revelation. I can't really say that I know them well, but, sure, I know them.

"That.is.awesome." She says in between breaths.

The rest of the guys take turns introducing themselves and she shakes all of their hands.

"I've been to so many of your concerts." She squeals in excitement.

"Well, we would love to have you back." Matt winks at her, and she practically melts at his feet. "The next concert we have, you should come and bring Allie." Matt turns to smile at me. "I'll leave your names at the gates."

Lindsey squeals in excitement again, and I laugh. "Of course we will be there!" She says nodding her head feverishly. This time, it's her turn to nudge me under the table.

"Yeah, we'll come." I agree, smiling. She's obviously obsessed with them. I never would have thought she would listen to Avenged, she just doesn't look the part, but who am I to judge.

The guys say their goodbyes and walk out the door. I quickly excuse myself from the table and run out the door after them. Well, not all of them, just one man in particular.

"Brian!" I yell after him, as the door swings shut behind me.

He turns around and nods at me, not knowing what to say, I'm sure, but he does stop to let me catch up to him.

"Hey." I say, as I approach him. The rest of the guys, not wanting to make things awkward, say bye and head out. For this, I'm thankful, I really didn't want an audience.

"Hey." He says back, reaching a hand up to run through his hair.

"I just wanted to apologize." I start out. "I acted like an idiot, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown myself at you. I get that you aren't attracted to me like that, but I would like to be friends. If that's possible." I say, making that last statement sound more like a question.

"Hold on, what did you say?" He holds up a hand. "That you're not attractive?"

"Do all men hear whatever they want?" I playfully slap him on the shoulder. "I said that I get you're not attracted to me in that way..."

"Stop." He cuts me off. "Have you seen yourself?" He asks. "You're fucking beautiful. Any man that is not attracted to you is either blind, gay or just a fucking fool."

I don't know what to say, so I stand in front of him, awkwardly silent, taking in his words. He is attracted to me. But why... My thoughts trail off, as he speaks up again.

"I cant believe you thought I didn't find you attractive." He half laughs, but his eyes search mine for some kind of explanation. "Why would you think that?"

"I just thought... since you didn't want..." I don't know what to say. Since he wasn't willing to have sex with me?

"I didn't want to have sex with you that night because you were drunk. I'm not like that. I might have been at one time." He admits. "But not anymore." He laughs, mostly to himself. "That first night I saw you standing outside the club, I thought to myself 'Who in their fucking right mind would let this gorgeous girl stand outside of this club alone?' I thought for sure some guy would walk up and save you. I thought for sure that you had a boyfriend nearby, maybe parking the car, and that he was going to rush up at any moment. When that moment didn't come, I took the chance to be that guy." I smile at his words.

"You are beautiful, Allison. If anyone has ever told you otherwise, they're fucking assholes." He takes a step closer to me. "You would've been able to get into that club, even if I hadn't come along."

"Even with my jeans and sweater, huh?" I laugh.

"Even in your jeans and sweater." He laughs and rolls his eyes. "You could've been wearing a plastic bag and still looked heavenly, I swear it." He smiles.

"Thank you." I blush.

"To answer your earlier thought, yes, I would love to be friends." He smiles.

"Friends, then." I smile, and hold my hand out for him to shake. He shakes it, and laughs.
Once we've said our goodbyes, I return to the restaurant to finish my dinner with Lindsey, where she pries me for all the details on how I know the guys.

--

Later that evening, as I'm sitting alone in my apartment, I lose myself in my thoughts.

I'm not sure how this 'friendship' will go, but I do like Brian, and I want to get to know him better. I don't know how close I'm willing to get to him. He is attractive, yes, but I'm not sure that I want a relationship. Lucas ruined the last one for me, and I'm not sure I feel the same about the whole dating game anymore.

Lucas and I never had a label, we were never officially dating, especially since he didn't want anyone to know about us. I always assumed the reasoning behind this was because I was technically working under him. It made sense to me at the time, but looking back on it now, I realize how stupid I was, and how selfish he was being.

He always said I was his and he was mine, but we never referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess I had just assumed that at some point he would have officially asked me to be his girlfriend. That moment never came, though.

I can't believe I let myself believe that he would ever commit to me. I've made many mistakes in my life, but I believe this biggest mistake now was ever letting myself get so close to Lucas. Even when I was younger and dating Jason, we were always on and off. I would never let him too close, and when I felt like it was beginning to get to that point, I would break it off.

I have major trust issues, and I attribute this to all the shit from my childhood. My mom was always hard on me, expecting me to be just like my sister. When my sister passed, it got worse by the day, until mom decided she had had enough and walked out on me and my father.

Dad turned to alcohol, after Jess passed away. I believe this to be part of the reason mom left. He was never physically abusive towards me, but his constant drunk state began to take its emotional toll on me. I tried running away several times, but I always ended up coming home. My father was usually drunk during all of this, and hadn't taken notice to me even being gone.

I turned to drugs, the whole reason I ever met Dave. He was always there with something new for me to try. Me being the naive teenager that I was, I took whatever he gave me. I just wanted to rid myself of the pain.

A few months after meeting Dave, I turned 17 and broke my relationship with Jason off for good. I know it broke his heart, but I had to push him away so that he wouldn't come chasing after me. I couldn't stand seeing him cry, so I left him alone in his room, without saying another word.

That night was one of the worst nights of my life.

Notes

I hope you all enjoy the update. A little backstory into Allison's life. :)
Thanks for reading!

- J