The First

I don't know why. I don't know why my mind says I shouldn't be returning to this place, but my hands on the steering wheel, and my foot on the gas pedal feel like lead. I'm unable to turn the car around, even if I wanted. Some driving force keeps pulling me back. Back to where it all began. Back to my life before.

"Please stay." He begged, knowing that I wouldn't agree, knowing that there was no use in him begging me. "You always push me away." He said, his tone soft, despite his growing agitation with me.

You always push me away.

His words nag at me, even to this day. It's been eight years since I left Jason. Eight long, but also short years, since I left this place, left my past behind, only to return again, feeling like nothing ever changed. Because it doesn't. Nothing has changed. Not me, not this city, not my life, nothing.

Nothing.

That's what I am to him now. He's married afterall, has two children, a beautiful wife, he has the life I could only dream of. He has the beautiful beach house, a fabulously fast car, a wonderful job, no doubt. Why can't I have that?

As I ask myself this question, I know the answer. The answer that I try to shove down deep inside. The answer that's always there to remind me just how terrible of a person I am, and always will be.

Notes

Hello, everyone!

Here is the prologue to my new story The First.

I hope you all enjoy the read! I will be posting a few of the beginning chapters shortly!

- J