“I can’t walk anymore,” Hallie panted, collapsing against a rock.
“Drink,” I ordered, handing her a bottle of water. We’d had a particularly long morning with the sun beating down on our backs and we were both exhausted beyond belief.
“How long can Arizona go on for?” she complained, taking a huge gulp of water.
I shook my head, wearily, “Hundreds of miles, apparently.”
She grunted as she held the bottle back out to me. I took it from her and took a long sip myself.
“Do you want to find somewhere to stop?” I asked, hoping she didn’t. She had far less stamina than I did and it sometimes made travelling frustrating when I had to stop far more often than I would have done by myself.
“No, I’m okay. I just need 2 minutes,” she said, heaving a sigh. I dutifully waited as she tried to recover. It wasn’t just physical exhaustion holding her back, or myself for that matter, we were also struggling to find motivation. We’d had buckets of it when we’d started this leg of our journey, but now it was in short supply. I guess walking for weeks on end would do that to you. Hallie reluctantly pushed herself to her feet.
“Okay,” she announced, “I’m ready to go.”

After hours of yet more walking, the desert-like surroundings were beginning to transform slowly, the green of plant life creeping in on the horizon as we approached the first suburb we’d seen in ages. It was a welcome change. I felt like I never wanted to see another grain of sandy soil in my life; it was all we’d stared at for the most of the journey and I’d be happy to be rid of it.
“Hey, do you see that?” Hallie garbled excitedly, grabbing my arm and pointing into the distance.
“I sure do,” I grinned, laughing gently as her pace suddenly sped up. “Hey, slow up. We don’t know what might be there.”
“We aren’t finding out until we get there,” she called playfully over her shoulder. Her enthusiasm pushed me forwards, and I found myself hurrying after her with a spring in my step. There was so much nothingness in Arizona that finding anything gave us a real sense of excitement. I caught up to Hallie and she linked her arm into mine with a little giggle as we strode forwards.

It didn’t take long for our exhaustion to sap the little burst of energy we’d discovered. The adrenaline had dulled the aches and pains and fatigue, but it was all slowly creeping back in as our pace slowed again. Though the treeline around us was becoming fuller, the buildings were still some distance away and that was somewhat disheartening. We’d been walking for nearly 10 hours at this point under the sweltering sun, and though we were no strangers to it, it was still a killer.
“I’m so tired,” Hallie groaned, having squeezed out her last drop of excitement some time ago.
I put an arm around her, “Me too. Just keep going.”
“For how long though?” she grumbled, looking around. “Auntie Maz, where are we even going?”
“I don’t know, Hal. We’re just looking for somewhere else to stay,” I replied, wearily.
“I’m hungry,” she complained, looking up at me.
“I know, we’ll get something as soon as we can,” I reassured her. She fell quiet for a moment, allowing me to try and focus on our surroundings again. I was well aware that with towns came biters, and I was trying to keep my eye out for any movement. We’d had more exposure to the infected than I’d cared to have as we’d travelled through Arizona, and yet I still felt unprepared every time. I suppose I had Lincoln to thank for the fact that so far, I’d walked away from every single encounter unharmed. His ‘exposure therapy’ style of approach had convinced me that I was far too timid in my dealings with biters, and it had pushed me to become more self-assured in my actions. Holden had been only too happy to help me become more comfortable with wielding a knife. He’d enthusiastically attempted to push guns onto the agenda too, but I’d respectfully declined, much to his disappointment.
A fallen tree lay ahead of us, spread out across the road. I stepped over it neatly, turning back to help Hallie over it. My eyes caught sight of a biter in the distance, and I pulled her down behind the log with me, swiftly putting my fingers to my lips. The biter moved on along its path through the foliage, having thankfully not noticed us. I let out a sigh of relief and put my hands on Hallie’s shoulders. The sun was beginning its descent, and we would haven’t forever to find cover for the night.
“We have to go now, and quickly. Stay quiet and keep your eyes open, understand?” I asked, firmly. She nodded and gripped my hand tightly as we moved forwards, creeping towards the town.

“Water over here,” Hallie called out, tossing a bottle at me. We’d broken into the supply room of a drugstore and were descending upon the boxes of stock with glee.
“You’re an angel,” I smiled, twisting the top off and gulping some down. We filled our packs with as much as we could carry before taking to the road again. Some time later, we'd walked a fair distance and were beginning to really lose the light. As the trees began to break up, a building became visible in the distance. With no other options, it looked like a reasonable enough place to stay, so we set off quickly in its direction.
I only ran into one biter as I checked the perimeter of the house. A rather hair-raising scuffle ensued, but Holden’s knife lessons had just about paid off and I managed to escape death yet again despite my fumbling, much to my surprise.
How long would it take for me to find killing easy? How many lives would it take? Would it ever stop being difficult? Sure, it felt more necessary now than it had, and my drive for survival was much stronger, but I still hated myself for being the person that had ended another existence.
“You didn’t get bit?” Hallie asked, eyeing my grimy, blood stained clothing.
“Not this time,” I replied, still breathless. “Now, inside. Let’s go.”
The house seemed empty at first. Dark, quiet, dusty. I tiptoed up the stairs, closely followed by Hallie. With a quick look up and down the hallway, I told Hallie to stay put as I checked the first bedroom. It became quickly evident that we were not the only ones here, indicated by a lukewarm pot of ramen sat on the nightstand. Oh, fuck. My brow furrowed as I heard soft movement outside the door.
“Hallie?” I called, as softly as I could. There was no answer. When I pushed the door back open, knife at the ready, the space where I’d left her stood empty. I rushed out in a panic, only to be knocked to the floor. With a sack pulled over my head, I kicked and writhed against the hands that held me down. As I fought in a blind panic, I’d never have expected for a second that I was being held down by someone who would soon be occupying my thoughts so heavily...

I would kill to see Jimmy one last time.It surprised me a little, but that’s who I was thinking of as my wrists and ankles were bound and I was bundled into the trunk of the three men’s car. I was certain that I was going to die before long, probably in an unpleasant manner, and I was having serious regrets over the way I’d spent my time on earth. Specifically, for how little time I’d spent with Jimmy. It actually seemed wholly unfair that he’d only been allowed to light up my life for such a short amount of time, though I was grateful I’d even had that with him. Things would end on a high at least, I guess. They slammed the door down, the thunk reverberating around me, jarring my brain. Perhaps it was my fault for going so far away. If I’d not come out here, all the way back to goddamn El Paso, then I wouldn’t be in this mess; but then Viola would still be laid in an unmarked grave with no way to for anyone to she was there. I didn’t regret that at all. The vehicle roared into life and took off, sending me sliding around the trunk as they skidded away to wherever it was we were going. I immediately got to work on trying to wriggle my wrists and ankles to loosen the ropes. It became evident that it was a pointless activity, but I kept at it anyway. I wondered if I’d ever see anyone again. If I’d get the chance to tell Hallie what a beautiful person she was growing into, to apologise to Brian for my unrelenting curiosity, or whether I’d ever get the chance to feel Jimmy’s lips against my own again. My wrists were getting sore from grinding against the rope, and my patience was wearing thin. Maybe this was my punishment for all the lives I’d taken. I groaned out in defeat as I gave up trying to get out of my binds. It didn’t help that whoever was driving was worse than Jimmy. The car went over a bump, and my head was jolted against the wheel arch forcing me to cuss. They hadn’t even slowed down for that - they were definitely worse than Jimmy. The anxiety grew in my chest as the car screeched around corners and flew down straights. After some time, it eventually slowed down until it was just crawling. Funnily enough, this actually made me panic more. It meant we were nearly at our destination…

We ground to a halt, and after a few seconds, I felt the car jerkily rise as its passengers exited. The doors slammed, jolting my heart as they did so. It was my turn next. There was a conversation in urgent, quiet tones that I couldn’t make out and then, they came for me. I squinted my eyes as the trunk was wrenched open and the outside light poured in. Hands reached in a grabbed me roughly before I could even adjust to see any faces, and flung me over a shoulder. I had no idea which one was carrying me, only that he was wearing light jeans and my view of the floor combined with my anxiousness was making me nauseous.
“Where are we going?” I finally managed to utter. The guy carrying me laughed, but didn’t answer. He pushed through some doors as one of his companions leaned in.
“We could have some fun with her first,” the friend suggested, grabbing my hair and pulling my head up to look me in the eyes. “Pretty little thing, I could think of a few things I’d like to do to her.”
“We’re not doing anything to her,” the man carrying me replied. “He likes them unharmed, if you remember?”
“Yeah, yeah. Shame,” his friend replied, removing his fingers from my hair and sounding truly disappointed. My stomach turned at his repulsive suggestion, though maybe something even more repulsive than his desires was coming. I bit my lip and tried not to cry. I really don’t want to die like this.

We traversed through various corridors and rooms until we reached our destination. I was unceremoniously dropped onto the floor of a small room and abandoned. They pulled the door to behind them, and disappeared, muttering in hushed tones as they left. My mind swam with stomach churning questions. What’s going to happen to me? What the fuck is ‘Father’? Am I about to be tortured or killed? I managed to sit myself up to look around at my surroundings properly. I was taken aback. A small wooden table and chair were pushed to the side of the room. The window was tiny, letting in barely any light, making the room feel like a prison cell. But below the window, a young woman was sat, hunched over with her knees pulled to her chest, eyeing me fearfully. She was pale as the moon, had fiery red hair and wild blue eyes.
I stared over at her, eventually plucking the courage up to ask, “Where are we?”
She pressed her lips together as though to stop herself from talking.
“Do you even know?” I asked, wondering if she’d been brought her under the same conditions that I had. To my surprise, she nodded her head slowly.
“You’re in Father Adam’s house,” she whispered, her eyes flickering towards the door as though she was terrified someone might burst through it any second.
“What? Who the fuck is Father Adam?” I asked, having to stop myself almost laughing at her answer.
“The leader,” she replied, quietly. “He runs this place... Don’t cross him.”
“Why?” I asked, my urge to laugh quickly quelled.
She gazed at me, a hint of craze emanating from her eyes, “Just don’t.”
The door creaked open, startling her into silence. She quickly averted her gaze and stared into the wall with intent. I looked up, met with the stern face of one of the men who’d captured me.
“Father will see you now.”

Notes

OOOOOHHHHH HERE HE COMES!