“How much further?” Hallie whined at me, for what felt like the hundredth time. We’d been walking for hours; I had no idea where we were, or how far we had to go, but I was pretty sure we had to walk across an entire state to get there.
“Hallie,” I replied through gritted teeth, trying to keep my cool. “We will not be arriving in California any time soon. I don’t even know what’s in California. Probably nothing. It’s not some magical world where everything is beautiful. There’s still going to be nothing to eat, biters around every corner and nowhere comfy to sleep.”
“Oh... so where else do we go?” she asked, squinting through the bright sunlight at me. I stopped on the spot, putting my hands over my face in exasperation.
“I don’t know, I thought you wanted to go to California? Wasn't that the point of this?” I groaned, peering at her through my fingers. I saw her shoulders lift in a shrug.
“Well, not now,” she retorted, pouting. “You made it sound horrible.”
I outwardly groaned again, “Hallie, is anywhere not horrible anymore?”
“It wasn’t horrible with Coralee,” she answered indignantly, as though I hadn’t realised what we’d left behind.
“That’s because they built up a community and looked after each other,” I reminded her.
“Hey, so maybe there’s a community in California?” she asked, hopefully. I didn’t know the answer to that, but her suggestion had sparked a memory.
“I don’t know, but there’s one in Washington,” I murmured, thinking back to Felix, who had – prior to rudely clouting me over the head – told me about a check point.
“Washington? Is that nearby?” she pressed, her loyalty to California dissipating by the second.
“No,” I laughed, admiring her hope. “It’s further than California, but,” I added as she screwed up her face in disappointment, “it’s next to it, so you could see California on the way.”
She thought about this for a moment.
“I do want to see California, but there might be biters,” she reasoned, clearly conflicted.
“Look, why don’t we go to California as originally planned?” I suggested. “Then if we don’t like it or it's not safe, we can go on to Washington.”
“Okay,” she replied, slowly, appeased for now. “So, how much further is it?”
“It’s a long, long way,” I told her with a stern look. “Do you want to do this? Because if not, we should turn around now.”
“I want to. Mom wanted to, right?” she asked, looking to me for confirmation.
I nodded, “Right. She did.”
“Then that’s what I want,” she answered, with conviction, and set off with a purpose.

So, we walked, and walked. Every few miles was punctuated with stopping to rest, every night we found somewhere to sleep - or doze in my case - and when we were completely exhausted we’d find shelter and camp out for a few days. God knows our feet needed the rest by then.
“My blister has a blister,” Hallie complained, inspecting her foot.
I smiled sympathetically, “Rest them. We’ll take a few days here.”
I checked the house over once more while Hallie grumbled to herself in the kitchen as she tended to her raw feet. We were both running on empty and desperately needed the break.
“Where are we?” Hallie asked, as I entered the room again.
“Near Phoenix,” I answered, sitting down to take my own boots off.
She rolled her eyes, “I know that, but where is Phoenix?”
“I think it’s near the middle of Arizona,” I replied, fiddling with my laces.
“We’re only half way?” The dismay was apparent in her voice. I looked up at her as I gently slid the shoe from my foot.
“Half way is good,” I deflected, raising an eyebrow.
“But we’ve been walking for, like, ages. We’ve got to do all that again?” she asked, looking physically pained at the idea.
“Yes, we have to do that all again,” I confirmed, unable to hide my smirk.
Hallie pouted, “It’s not funny, Auntie Maz.”
“I know it's not, but I did warn you we’d be walking for a long time,” I reminded her as she huffed and rubbed at her feet. “States are huge, Hal. It’s not like walking from one neighbourhood to the next.”
“I know that,” she retorted, pursing her lips. “It’s just my feet are hurting.”
“Mine too,” I replied, sympathetically, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze. “Why don’t we stay here a little while longer? I can get us some stuff together and-”
“No,” she cut me off, quickly. “I don't want to. I want to get there sooner, for mom.”
“Okay,” I relented, not having the energy to persuade her otherwise, “if you're sure, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Oh fuck.
I blinked at my surroundings. The sun burned brightly overhead, illuminating the glaring white lines of hopscotch boxes. My head swam with dizziness as I sat up, trying hopelessly to get my bearings. I swallowed against my dry throat, sweeping my fingers lightly against my sore, red skin. Jesus, how fucking stupid could I get? I’ve been sleeping, in the goddamn Texas sun, exposed for anyone – or anything – to pick off. A sitting duck for a biter. What an idiot. I could have done without the dehydration too, I wasn’t exactly drowning supply-wise. Still, with a small amount of energy replenished, I managed to drag myself to the foyer of the school, taking incredible comfort in the shelter it provided from the sun. I felt like utter shit, but I was here at last; and I’d already found a small sense of peace for being reunited with Viola, even if she wasn’t physically here. I could feel her presence and it soothed the aching gap in my life, just for long enough to take the edge of the pain.

Through the disorienting effect of my accidental stint in the sun, I somehow managed to remember that we’d ditched stuff from Viola’s pack somewhere in the school to lighten it for Hallie to carry. Perhaps it was still here? I distinctly remembered the difficult decision to drop a water bottle, along with a small amount of food. Thank fuck. I gave myself a shake, trying to sharpen my senses. The school was hopefully empty still, but there was no guarantee it would be. I drew my knife as I tried to blink myself ready for any possible confrontation, and tiptoed my way through the school. It wasn’t actually difficult to remember which room was which, especially the one that I would not be entering under any circumstances. I didn’t need to suffer that heartache all over again. It was certainly bittersweet to be back here, though it did come with the added bonus of hiding from everything, something that I’d learnt I was pretty good at. Oh, there it is. I sent a silent prayer of thanks upwards to whoever might be listening as I descended upon the small pile of goodies. I twisted the lid of the water off with urgency and let the cool liquid slide down my parched throat. Sweet Jesus, that’s fucking good. I ripped open a pack of beef jerky and stuffed a piece into my mouth. I hated the stuff, but food was food, and even something so comparable to shoe leather was enjoyable when you were this hungry. As I started to feel more like myself, I made a plan for the immediate future. I had no idea what to do with myself now that I was alone and without purpose, but in the short term I’d need food and water, so that was first on the agenda. I wasn’t sure how long I’d stay here, but there were a couple of things I wanted to do now that I was here, the priority being giving Viola the resting place she deserved. I’d not done her justice, leaving her in an unmarked grave; she deserved something more.

It didn’t take much effort or time to get myself set up again in the school. Over the course of the weeks immediately after I’d arrived, I’d made brief journeys into the town until I’d gathered myself a decent amount of supplies. Setting up a classroom with some home comforts kept me busy, but I was still plagued by loneliness. It lead to restless days and nights, my spare time spent pacing as I endlessly ran through the events that had lead me here. I thought of Hallie a lot, sometimes wondering if she was happy, but mostly incessantly worrying that she was not. When I wasn’t thinking of Hallie, my mind would – without permission – slip into thoughts of Jimmy. I thought of how things could have been, how I wanted them to be. Did he want that as well? It was something that was difficult to admit, but it had been a long time since I’d enjoyed someone’s company so much and already he was leaving me yearning for more of his enthusiasm and crazy antics. I rolled my eyes as I caught myself thinking about him again. Like a lovesick teenager, I thought to myself.I tried to shake him out of my mind, I had other things to worry about - like my sister.

It had been around a month since I’d arrived, which had passed in strange blur of numbness. Today though, I’d kicked myself into gear. Viola’s grave had haunted me for the longest time, but not anymore. I was set on giving her something she deserved. It was as much for me as it was for her, it was about allowing myself to mourn, to have closure. I needed it, and Viola needed her name known. I’d managed to salvage a small chunk of wood and a Swiss army knife while I’d been out looking for food, and they were just what I needed. That evening, I sat cross-legged on the floor for hours, hunched over the wood as I slowly carved it with the pen knife. It was not as easy as it had seemed in my mind, but after a while, I settled into a technique where I wasn’t nearly stabbing myself with every other stroke. I didn’t really have the space or the skill to carve out a full eulogy, but just her name was enough, so that anyone who might come across the flowerbed would know she was there. The next day, I tended to the bed too, weeding out the crowding of plants that didn’t belong, allowing the actual flowers to spread themselves out in bloom again. I leaned the placard I’d carved up against the edge of her resting place and sat on the ground beside it. I pulled my knees up to my chest and held myself tightly, working up the courage to say something.
“Is it weird to talk to you?” I said aloud, before cringing and laughing nervously. “It’s totally weird, but I’m going for it, so I hope you’re listening.”
I shifted a little so I was facing the flowerbed properly and blinked my eyes, which were already welling up.
“I’m so lost, Vi, I don’t even know where to start. You were always the one to lead the way, and now I’m on my own with no one to guide me. Boy, does it show. Remember when I’d come to you with easy stuff? Like that time my first boyfriend cheated on me and you stormed over there and kicked his ass, or that time when I was too drunk to walk home when I was seventeen and you came to pick me up so mom wouldn’t know? You were always saving me. It did get more complex than boyfriends and parties as we got older, but you were always there. Right up until the end, when I put my hand through that fucking door and you sorted me out with fucking dental floss. I’ll never forget that. I’ll never forget anything you’ve done for me,” I wavered, my voice wobbling a little as I gave in to the tears. “Can you come back soon please?”
I hugged my knees closer to me as I tried to stop myself from crying.
“I know it goes against biology for you to really come back, but maybe you come back like in that Patrick Swayze film you love so much where he ruins the woman’s vase. That ghost-y one," I clicked my fingers, trying to remember the song. "Oh, my love. My darling. I've hungered for your touch. You always used to shout at that scene, remember?”
I paused briefly to muster up my best impression of her, “Why is she laughing? He’s just destroyed all her hard work... I'd be smashing one of my pots over his head.”
The memory made me giggle a little, but my mouth soon turned itself down at the corners again.
“Why did all this shit have to happen to us? I don’t have anyone left, Vi. You’re gone, Esther’s gone, Hallie hates me. We met a group who were doing okay, but that’s gone to shit. I met a nice guy, but he probably thinks I’m an idiot now, so that’s gone to shit as well. I don't know, maybe I’m just meant to be alone. Maybe I’ll just stick with you,” I sighed. “I always kind of thought that was my destiny anyway. You were always the one who knew what you were doing, and I just tagged along. Man, I’m such a boring human.”

“What are you doing?”
I gasped, nearly dying of a heart attack as I spun around.
“Hallie?” I choked out, looking her up and down, stunned. Had I lost my mind? “What the fuck?”
She looked at the flowerbed behind me, “You did all that for mom?”
“What are you doing here?” I stuttered, “How did you get here?”
“I came to find you,” she smiled a small smile at me, “I was worried.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied, remembering our last interaction and instantly launching into an apology. “I never wanted you to find out that way. I never wanted you to find out at all.”
“Auntie Maz,” she began, pausing as she tried to pluck words from the air. “I’m not angry. I mean, I was, but I didn’t mean to be. I'm just hurting, but when I found out you were gone, I just… it felt like I lost the last piece of me.”
I got to my feet and tilted my head in sorrow, holding my arms out to her. She accepted my hug without hesitation, and gripped me back tightly for as long as she could manage to keep from talking - which wasn't very long.
“You did that for mom?” she asked again, looking up at me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, glancing over at the tidied grave site. My brow furrowed with a question. “Hallie, how did you know I was here?”
“We looked all over Huntington for you, thinking maybe you’d just found another house or something, but we never found you. We gave up looking for a while, until I thought about this place…” she trailed off. “It was worth a try, and here you are.”
“You came all this way just to look for me?” I asked, feeling an overwhelming rush of love for her. “Wait, how did you get here? Someone must have brought you. Where are the guys?”
“Zach’s been giving me driving lessons,” she shrugged, smiling as she saw my mouth drop. “Relax, I didn’t drive here. Well, he let me practice a little bit on the highway but that's it.”
“Hallie, you’re eleven,” I reminded her.
“I’ll be twelve soon,” she retorted, raising her eyebrows at me.
“No you won’t,” I countered, “that’s ages away. It’s still summer… isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she sighed, waving her hands exasperatedly. “Auntie Maz, when will you understand that things are different? Everything changed as soon as we left home. I need to learn these things, but you keep holding me back. I need to know how to survive without you in case something happens.”
“You’re so young,” I replied, quietly, reluctantly meeting her gaze.
“Which is why I need to know,” she urged, gently. I nodded slowly. She looked so small standing before me, but she was right. She needed this. I’d suffocated her in my worry, keeping her defenseless. I cleared my throat, trying not to dwell on my guilt again.
“Did you say Zach was with you?” I asked, changing the subject.
She grinned, “They all are.”
“Are they here?” I asked, looking around in a fluster. This place felt personal, I wasn’t ready to share it with them.
“They aren’t here,” Hallie reassured me, “I left them in that old house we stayed in. Told them I wanted to come and look by myself.”
Despite the fact that I was horrified that she’d made her way here by herself, I was also proud. Hallie was clearly tougher than I gave her credit for. I was finally beginning to see that and I admired her resilience in the face of everything that had been thrown at her.
“I’m so happy with what you’ve done for mom,” Hallie smiled, “but…”
“But what?”
She let out a giggle, “Can you come back please? Because Jimmy won’t shut up about you.”
“What?” I spluttered, my cheeks flushing deeply.
“Come on, Auntie Maz, everyone knows you two like each other,” she rolled her eyes. Fuck, when did she get so sassy?
“We’re just friends,” I protested with a scoff, though I was unsure of why I was doing so.
“Okay, well your friend misses you,” she teased, enjoying my embarrassment for a moment, before her tone changed to a more sombre one. “And I miss you as well.”
“Hallie, I don’t know if I’d be wanted back,” I replied, shrinking on the spot as I thought of Brian’s anger.
She looped her arms around me again, “You are wanted, I promise.”
I hugged her back, closing my eyes as I basked in her love once again. Love I didn’t deserve.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, letting the guilt sweep onto the scene again, making Hallie’s gesture bittersweet.
“Don’t be,” she answered. “I understand why you did it, Auntie Maz.”

An engine hummed harshly in the distance, interrupting our reunion.
“Did you tell them where we were?” I asked, trying to identify where the rumble was coming from.
She shook her head, “No, and they said they were staying put.”
I strained my eyes, trying to see beyond the chain link fence.
“You guys pick up a new car?” I asked, as a sedan came into view.
“No, we’re in the van,” she asked, her eyes following my gaze to the car that was quickly heading our way. She stiffened. “That’s not ours.”
“Get inside,” I ordered, pushing her towards the school. I lingered a little longer, frozen in fear as the car came closer. I caught the driver clocking me. Cursing, I turned on my heel and sprinted in after Hallie. I practically bowled her over as I rushed in the door behind her.
“Third classroom on the left,” I shouted, urging her to go faster. She skidded as she turned into it, and I flew in behind her. We heard the front door of the school burst open.
“Closet, get in,” I instructed, shoving her towards it. We crammed ourselves in, pulling the door shut quietly behind us. We panted in the darkness, both consumed by panic. I heard the doors in the corridor beginning to open, one by one.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” a deep male voice sung out. I clutched Hallie to me tightly. “Don’t make us come and find you.”
I felt Hallie shaking with fear and tried to comfort her. I ran a hand over her hair as we heard them move closer, hoping to soothe her even if just a tiny bit.
“They’re going to find us,” she whispered, looking up at me with wide eyes. I bit my lip, trying to figure out what to do. They were going to find us… unless I found them first. I could lead them away, I could keep Hallie safe... I put my hands on her face.
“Remember what we were just talking about?” I asked, my lip trembling a little. She looked up at me inquisitively, so I continued. “We were talking about how you might need to survive without me.”
She shook her head in protest, but I stopped her, “Hallie, if I go to them, then hopefully they’ll only take me. If they come here, they’ll have you, too.”
“No,” she whispered, her lip wobbling.
“Listen to me,” I urged in my hushed tone, “You go back and find the guys. Tell them what’s happened. They’ll figure something out.”
I shushed her before she could say anything else, “Promise me you won’t come out of this closet while I’m still here.”
Her mouth twisted as she tried not to cry.
“Promise me,” I reiterated. She reluctantly nodded as a single tear escaped and ran down her face. I squeezed her tightly and planted a kiss on the top of her head.
“Come on out,” the man taunted from the hallway. He was close now, he can't have been far from the classroom door.
“I love you,” she mouthed at me.
“I love you too,” I mouthed back, taking a moment to study her features before I stepped out of the closet. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself forwards until I was in the doorway of the classroom. He was standing in the corridor with his back to me.
“I’m here,” I called, shakily. He turned towards me sharply with a malevolent grin, before shaping his lips and let out an ear-splitting whistle.
“I’ve got her,” he called out, as two more men appeared.
“What do you think?” he asked, looking me up and down before uttering his next, more ominous question.
“Shall we take her to Father?”

Notes

So close to being together again, yet so far...