June 1999

The setting sun shone brightly off of the spokes of the wheels as Raury and I rode our bikes through Central Park. In Huntington, that was the main way teenagers got around, especially before reaching the age that allowed you to drive. And since Raury and I had yet to enter high school, we hadn't yet acquired that coveted driver's license.

The two of us stashed our bikes in the bushes once we'd reached our destination and began trekking on foot towards the deep voices that carried over the wind. We found my brother and his friends hidden in their favorite spot among the brush, sitting in a circle with beer cans littering the ground. Every so often they passed around a joint, and the boy who received it would take a long drag, and sigh out the smoke. Johnny was also there, as he'd taken to hanging out with Zacky rather than Matt. And the guys' girlfriends were there as well, and Michelle shot me a glance as Raury and I entered the clearing.

"Well, hello Senoma!" Jimmy shouted loudly upon noticing us. "And hello Senoma's friend! What was your name again, sweetheart?"

"Raury," my red-headed friend answered with a giggle. It was well known in our little group of girls that Raury had more than a slight crush on the tall, blue-eyed boy. And although Jimmy had a girlfriend, he'd been known to stray, so I would never eliminate the possibility of those two getting together, even if it was just for a little while.

"Well sit, sit," Jimmy said, patting the dirt next to him. He snatched the joint from Johnny's hand as he was bringing it to his mouth and handed it to Raury as she sat down beside him. "Have a drag."

At times, I was envious of Raury's natural ability to integrate with boys, an ability which I myself didn't possess. Raury could slip right in without a snag, like now, but for me to do so required more of an effort. An effort which usually involved stumbling words and burning cheeks.

"Senoma, why don't you come and sit down?" Brian asked, causing me to jump a bit. He rattled a beer can, sloshing the liquid inside. "Come have a little fun."

"Okay," I said, urging my feet in his direction. The spot between Brian and Matt Sanders was a small one, which meant that I would be forced to sit so close to Brian that we touched, in more places than one. But wouldn't I like that? However, just as I reached Brian, his girlfriend Michelle swooped in and squeezed herself between Brian and Matt, effectively pushing me out of the way.

"Sorry, but I just wanted to sit next to my boyfriend," Michelle said sweetly, sending an over-the-top smile in my direction. I frowned at her and went to sit next to Johnny.

"Um, hey Senoma," the short boy said, looking to his feet.

"Hey, Johnny," I said back, smiling at him. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he answered quietly. "So um, your birthday's in a few days, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," I agreed. "Why?"

"No reason," Johnny said quickly. "I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss it."

My smile grew a bit wider. Johnny was one of the more sweet guys in this town, but he tended to fly under the radar of most girls due to his shyness. I for one counted myself lucky to know him, even if we would never be anything more than friends. I just thanked God that our short period as a couple last year hadn't ruined what we had. "That's sweet, Johnny," I whispered, laying my hand on his forearm. Impulsively, my crystal blue eyes looked to Brian to see if he noticed my contact with his younger friend, and to my delight, his gaze was focused on myself and Johnny. If only because I knew he was looking, I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Johnny's cheek. The shorter boy's face went up in flames. "Thank you," I added.

Unfortunately, Brian wasn't the only one bearing witness to my quiet conversation with Johnny. Raury's brown eyes were also drawn to us, and what she saw obviously didn't make her very happy. She abandoned Jimmy and walked over to me and Johnny, stopping in front of the two us with her hands on her hips. "Senoma, can I speak with you for a moment?" she asked. "Alone?"

"Sure," I said. I got to my feet, saying goodbye to Johnny before following Raury away from the group. The instant we were out of sight of the others, she smacked me hard on the arm. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"What is your problem?" she accused. When I arched an eyebrow in confusion, Raury gave her brown eyes a roll. "You can't keep using Johnny to make Brian jealous! And don't even say that's not what you were doing Senoma Maddox Baker, because I saw you looking at Brian before you kissed Johnny!"

"I wasn't using Johnny," I contradicted, making sure I sounded a bit miffed. Of course, Raury probably already knew this was a lie, just as she already knew I would do anything to attract Brian's attention.

"We've been through this, Senoma," my red-headed friend said exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of her thin nose. "Brian has a girlfriend. They've been dating for almost a year. And seeing you with Johnny isn't gonna make Brian break up with Michelle. All you're gonna end up doing is hurting Johnny, and that boy does not deserve that."

"I know," I agreed. "But Raury, you know better than anyone how I feel about Brian. I just want him to feel the same way about me."

"Well you can do it without dragging Johnny down with you," Raury stated firmly, and I was smart enough to know that this conversation was over.

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June 16, 1999

"Happy birthday, Senoma!" Raury shouted, attacking my neck in a hug. "Are you ready for the best birthday ever?"

"I suppose," I answered with a melancholy tone. Raury was a lovely girl, crazy as hell, and I loved her to death. She was my only close female friend my age. But sometimes she stumped me. How on earth could she be happy at a time like this? Oh, now I remember. The boy she liked wasn't dating someone else. And he wasn't dragging her along to her fifteenth birthday party.

"Oh, come on, Senoma!" Raury said, wrapping a tan arm around my shoulder. "You're fifteen now. Only three more years 'till adulthood. Cheer up!"

"How the hell am I supposed to be happy when Brian is bringing Michelle to my party?" I snapped.

Raury frowned at me, placing a hand on her slender hips. "Are you still on about that?" she asked. I shamefully nodded my head. "God Senoma, when are you gonna get over him? Brian is almost eighteen. And you're beautiful and all, but I'm sure Brian wants someone who can give him…you know."

"I can give him that," I mumbled, trying to hide my words from Raury. But she heard, and her doe-like brown eyes widened to great extremes.

"Senoma Maddox Baker!" she yelled. "Do you realize what you just said? Would you really fuck Brian?"

"Oh, I would do more than fuck him," I said, my voice low. "That boy wouldn't be able to walk when I got through with him."

"Oh my God, Senoma, you did not just say that!" Raury squealed, smacking my arm. Relenting, I laughed, and she pumped her hand into the air in triumph. "Ha, I knew I could make you laugh! Now come on, let's go party!" My friend secured a vice-like grip on my upper arm and dragged me from the kitchen, and I had no choice but to follow her.

Everyone was gathered in the living room, as my parents had decided it was a tad too hot for an outdoor party. As I mentioned before, Raury was my only close friend my age besides Johnny, so besides those two and my brother Matt, the others in attendance were Zacky's friends, who were all eighteen or nearing that age. I did a quick head count and realized there was one less person than I'd anticipated. Matt Sanders had his girlfriend at his side, as did Zacky. But Brian sat alone, which meant no Michelle. I fought the urge to clap.

"Senoma!" Jimmy shouted, leaping off of the couch. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, and proceeded to carry me into the living room, where he dropped me on the couch next to Brian. "Look who I found! It's the birthday girl!"

"Happy birthday, Senoma," everyone chorused, a giant machine. But I knew they still meant it.

"Thank you, guys," I said with a smile. "This is all very nice."

"A very nice party for a very nice girl," Brian commented, and I blushed.

The party was, as I said, very lovely. I got to spend my birthday with my very good friends, laughing and having a good time. And even better was the fact that Brian's girlfriend Michelle wasn't there to muddle up my good mood. Despite my objections, my friends all presented me with gifts, which were all things I wanted but could have easily lived without. All except for Brian. Throughout the party, he sat silently at my side.

When the party finally drew to a close, I found myself a bit disappointed. Brian hadn't gotten me a gift. Of course, I had no right to expect one, but still…it made me sad that one of my best friends had neglected me on my birthday.

"Senoma," a voice said, calling out to me. Oh, I knew that voice. It was so soothing. It was the voice I wanted to hear saying the words 'I love you…' I followed this velveteen voice into the kitchen, and at the island sat Brian. In front of him was a plate of chocolate chip cookies and twin glasses of milk. He patted the seat next to him. "Sit down, Senoma."

After I took my seat, I borrowed a moment to study Brian. He was grown now, a high school graduate, a man of nearly eighteen. His birthday was next month. His face had left behind what little baby fat it had harbored from his childhood, leaving in its place high, defined cheekbones that made Brian's profile easily determined. His eyes had softened over the years and were now a shade lighter than milk chocolate. They were trained on me as we sat silently until Brian finally broke the silence once more.

"Happy birthday, Senoma," he said. I looked up to see him grinning at me, and I directed my gaze to the plate of cookies, blushing. "I hope you'll forgive me for not buying you anything. It's just that with the album coming out and all, I don't really have a lot of money to spare."

"S'okay," I mumbled. My Ukranian accent was thick over this single phrase, and I'm surprised Brian was able to understand me.

"No, it's not okay," Brian countered. "You're very special to me, and you deserve something for your birthday." Wait just a moment. Did Brian just say what I thought he said? Oh, he did. I was special to him. "So I hope you'll accept these homemade cookies, and…this." Catching me totally and completely off guard in every way and aspect, Brian leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. His lips felt the way I'd always imagined, full and soft. Very quickly, I found myself lost in the kiss I'd been dreaming of receiving since I was twelve years old. But of course, my dear brother Matt had to do what he did best and interrupt something he shouldn't have interrupted.

"Hey Senoma, Mom and Dad want to--whoa! I-I'm sorry!" he said in a rush, and I pulled away from Brian just in time to see Matt backing out of the kitchen.

"Well, there went a perfectly romantic moment out the window," Brian grumbled. He sounded upset, but I could tell by the smirk tugging at the lips I'd just kissed that he truly didn't care that my brother Matt had interrupted us. Now if it had been Zacky…

"It's not completely ruined," I assured, and I smiled at him. "You can successfully say that you made today my best birthday ever."

Notes