Send Me Away With the Words of a Love Song

As the Halloween carnival crept ever closer, the nervous knot that had formed in my stomach twisted tighter and tighter. I was still uncertain about my decision to get to second base with Johnny. For two years, I'd been dreaming of having this 'first', among others, with Brian. But Johnny was my boyfriend, and from what I could tell, he was nice enough. He wasn't like most boys our age, who attempted to grope a girl every chance that was presented to them.

"Senoma, are you going to the Halloween carnival?" Mother asked one night at dinner. It was something Mother and Father insisted upon, this family dinner. And so every night found myself, Zacky, and Matt seated around the kitchen table with Mother and Father, making small talk such as this.

"Yes," I answered. I pushed the remaining peas on my plate around with my fork. I knew where this conversation was headed, and it was making me uncomfortable.

"You know you're supposed to have a date for that, right?" Matt asked. He smirked in my direction. "And Raury doesn't count."

"I happen to have a date that isn't Raury!" I shouted, realizing too late what I'd said.

"Well, who is it, then?" Matt challenged. His eyes, along with everyone else's, settled on me. I gulped.

"It's…Johnny," I whispered, ducking my head.

"Johnny?" Matt exclaimed with disbelief.

"The Johnny who's friends with your brother?" Father asked. I nodded slowly, and to my relief, he smiled. "Well, he's a nice boy."

"You're going with Johnny?" Matt gagged, sticking out his tongue. "That's totally gross!"

"It's not gross," Nother said, shushing my youngest brother with a wave of her hand. "I think it's cute."

My face deepened to the shade of the tomatoes in our neighbor's garden. "Mother!" I gasped.

"And what does Zacky have to say about this?" Matt cracked, shooting Zacky a smirk. So far, my eldest brother had remained silent throughout this entire ordeal. To me, he seemed to be giving off a dangerous aura, rather like a bomb about to go off. "Are you gonna give up a night with your precious Laney so your little sister doesn't get felt up by Johnny?"

"Shut the fuck up, you dumb little shit!" Zacky snapped suddenly, slamming his silverware down on his plate. The loud clatter created by the metal hitting metal caused everyone at the table to jump, and his harsh language caused us to fall silent.

"Zachary James Baker," Father said sternly. "Apologize to your brother. Now."

Zacky pushed away from the table, getting to his feet quickly. "I'm done with this bullshit," he growled, storming away from the table.

"Zachary, come back here this instant!" father roared. I jumped. Father followed into Zacky the room he'd run to, and I could hear them yelling at each other. I hated when Father and Zacky yelled at each other, which they did quite often because Zacky liked to pick fights. A few minutes later, a door slammed overhead, and I knew Zacky had locked himself in his room.

Father came back into the kitchen and took his seat at the table again. "That boy," he said, pointing his knife at the ceiling. "Is in for a rude awakening if he thinks he's going to act like that."

"James--" Mother fretted.

"No, Maria," Father interrupted. "I don't know where he's coming from talking to myself or his brother like that. But it ends now."

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"So when is Johnny supposed to be here?" Raury asked as we entered the Halloween carnival.

"I dunno," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "He said he would meet me by the entrance."

The Halloween carnival was a tradition in Huntington Beach. I'd been attending since the very first year I arrived in America. It was in all essences a family affair; there were games and rides for the younger children, haunted houses and such for those of us who were older, and of course the corn maze where many a Huntington Beach teenager got to second base for the first time. Sometimes they went even further. Thank the Lord second base was as far as Johnny and I would be going.

I jumped when Raury smacked my shoulder. "There he is," she whispered excitedly, pointing to where we'd come in. I followed the tip of her finger, and sure enough, there was Johnny, dressed in a pair of jeans and a Metallica t-shirt, covered by a black jacket. With him was my brother Matt, and upon noticing this, Raury groaned. "Oh, what is he doing here? He's gonna ruin everything!"

"Hey, Senoma," Johnny mumbled when he and Matt stood in front of us. He was so shy, which was strange considering he was friends with my youngest brother, who was very outspoken.

"Hey, Johnny," I replied, just as softly.

Raury looked between the two of us, shuffling our feet in the dirt, and then to Matt, who looked as though he was trying hard not to gag. "Well, we're just gonna go now," she said quickly, tugging on Matt's long sleeve. She dragged him away from me and Johnny, an action to which I thoroughly objected.

"Raury, where are you going?" I squealed at her back as she departed. I'd been depending on Raury to be my scapegoat if things got awkward between me and Johnny, which I was sure they would.

"Gonna give you two some privacy!" she hollered back, still pulling along my protesting brother.

"Okay…" I said, softly enough so that only I heard.

"So what do you wanna do?" Johnny asked, causing me to jump.

"Um, well I suppose we can go to the corn maze," I suggested, my face flaming. Johnny's did the same, as I'm sure he knew what that meant. "If you want."

"Yea," Johnny agreed shakily. He took my hand into his, because that's what boyfriends and girlfriends did, and began leading me towards the entrance to the corn maze. His palm was sweaty, as was mine, and so at times, our hands made a squelching type of noise as we walked.

The line for the corn maze was rather short, and so Johnny and I were inside quickly. I was nervous about what we were about to do. I barely knew this boy, and yet I was going to let him touch me in a place no one else had ever laid hands on. As we walked, I could hear other couples in the brush of the corn maze, some at a point far too intimate for such a public setting, and I shivered.

"Are you cold, Senoma?" Johnny questioned, casting his thoughtful gaze over to me. That was something about Johnny that I never failed to notice. No matter what the situation was, he always seemed to be in deep thought. I nodded in response to Johnny's question, deciding it was best to lie in this situation, and Johnny stopped walking to slide off his jacket. He held it out to me. "Here, you can put this on."

I smiled at him as I slipped my arms into his jacket; the sleeves fell two or so inches past my fingertips. "Thank you, Johnny," I said.

Johnny and I walked for a few minutes more - in silence because both of us were far too shy to strike up even a simple conversation - before I suddenly stopped. We were near the middle of the corn maze, far away from the couples rounding home in the brush. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I wish I'd had the common sense to ask Raury how Johnny and I were supposed to go about this. Did we just do it? Or did we do something to lead up to it?

Right at that moment, Johnny provided the perfect ice breaker and the answer to my dilemma. He leaned forward, and he kissed me. No warning, so theatrics, he just kissed me. It was a tad sloppy, and a bit more wet than I'd anticipated, but it was a kiss. It was my first kiss.

When my lungs began screaming for air, I pulled away from Johnny. I bit the center of my bottom lip, shooting Johnny a shy smile, and he smiled, too. Both of us were breathing heavily, and our faces were red and flushed. I couldn't believe Johnny kissed me.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while," Johnny whispered. "I really like you, Senoma."

"I-I like you, too, Johnny," I said. I looked to my feet, to my scuffed-up Converse covered in Sharpie doodles. "So um, do you wanna do it now?"

Johnny's gentle features scrunched up in obvious confusion. "Do what?" he asked. It was only then that I realized that Johnny hadn't been in on Raury's scheme to get the two of us to second base for the first time. He'd probably just come here thinking he would kiss his girlfriend and go home.

"Um, well Raury told me this is where a lot of people get to second base for the first time," I explained.

Silently, Johnny mouthed the word 'oh.' He rubbed the back of his neck in what was obviously an awkward manner. "Well, do you want to?" he asked.

"S-Sure," I stuttered. In all honesty, I didn't. I was fine with just the kiss. But I couldn't quit thinking about what Raury said. "Just do it! If you don't, Johnny might not want you to be his girlfriend anymore." And I certainly didn't want to lose my boyfriend so quickly.

Johnny kissed me again, and I was aware of his hands hovering in front of my chest. I yelped into the cavern of Johnny's mouth when he cupped his hand over one of my breasts. I knew he was too shy to do anything further, and honestly, I was glad he left at that.

Afterward, Johnny and I walked hand-in-hand from the corn maze. We met up with Raury and my brother at some point, and my red-headed friend pulled me aside to ask about what Johnny and I had done in the corn maze. I told her about the kiss but decided to keep the near-groping to myself. Raury believed my lie and seemed disappointed that we hadn't done what she'd hoped we'd do.

A few days after the Halloween carnival, around the time Zacky was arrested for the very first time for possession of marijuana, Johnny and I broke up. It was mutual; both of us had come to the conclusion that we were meant to be friends, and nothing more. But I was glad I'd decided to become Johnny's girlfriend, if only for the fact that it distracted me from Brian for a few weeks.

Notes

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