Holding On To You

“So Sadie Lynn Shadows?...Sadie Shadows?...Or Sadie Sanders? What do you think Hun?”

Sadie was leaning against Matt on the couch, a notebook in her lap. They weren't married yet, but she was playing around with stage names. Over the past few months both of them took time to heal, both physically and mentally. Sadie now had a angled bob cut into her blonde hair.

“I think that plastic surgery is getting to your head-Ow! I was kidding!”

He rubbed the spot on the back of the head where Sadie slapped him.
Sadie had plastic surgery to minimize the scarring on the side of her face, nothing big, just enough so it could be covered with makeup.
Matt caught a glimpse of the scar on her chest, the crudely cut H over her left breast. Catching his eye she noticed what he was looking at.
Tugging the collar of her shirt up to cover the crooked scar.

“Go get dressed.”

He said curtly, picking up his phone.

“Where are we going?”

“Just wear something comfy, not going anywhere fancy.”

“...ok?”

She made her way upstairs to the bedroom they now shared. Throwing on a pair of bootcut jeans, a purple tank top with wings in rhinestones on the back and her Justin gypsy boots. After brushing out her hair and touching up her makeup she made her way back downstairs where Matt stood waiting.
He wore a plain black t shirt, jeans, a hat pushed over the handkerchief he had wrapped around his head and his black bike riding boots.
She followed him wordlessly out the door and to the black Escalade parked in the driveway.
He opened the door for her, closing it after she was safely inside.

“Where are we going?”
She asked again, he just smirked and pulled away from the house.
The quiet made her uncomfortable, flipping through the radio stations a familiar voice came on, she changed it quickly.

“Nuh uh go back.”
Matt changed it back to the previous station, Sadie's voice came through the speakers “Gunpowder and Lead” was just getting to the chorus and Matt started singing,funny faces and all... and Sadie couldn't help but join in.

“I'm going' home, gonna load my shotgunWait by the door and light a cigarette.If he wants a fight well now he's got oneAnd he ain't seen me crazy yetHe slapped my face and he shook me like a rag dollDon't that sound like a real manI'm going to show him what a little girls are made ofGunpowder and lead-yed-yed”

They laughed at their antics as the hyper radio DJ came back on.

“That was Gunpowder and Lead by Miss Sadie Lynn, no word yet on when she’ll return to the public eye after the assualt-”

He switched the radio off. Her team was somehow able to keep the actual reality out of the media. According to the fans and media, she suffered a simple assault by a drunk unruly fan.
A minute later Matt pulled up in the parking lot of a tattoo studio.

“Getting new ink Babe?”
She questioned, not knowing why else they would be here.

“No, you are, if you want to of course…I thought it might make you feel a little better…”

“A needle being jabbed repeatedly into my skin is supposed to make me feel better?”

“It's more relaxing than you think, come on.”

Going in the parlor the smell of disinfectant t filled her nose, almost making her nauseous as the memory of the hospital came into her mind.

“Shadows! I got that design ready for you!”

The guy, who stood about as tall as Matt but a little heavier with facial hair and more piercings she ever saw on a guy before, slid a piece of paper across the counter.
It was an intricate, delicate design of an old school microphone, kind of like the one Matt had. This one had delicate rose blossoms around it, lilac in color, the detail of it all was stunning.
He looked down at his small fiance

“What do you think?”

“It's beautiful!”

“I was thinking you could get it right here….”

He placed a hand over the spot on her chest where the H stood raised above the rest of her skin. His touch still sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

“What if it hurts too much?”
She asked chewing on her bottom lip, Matt chuckled.

“Honey, if you can survive through what you did? A tattoo is going to be a piece of cake. We can always wait. I'm sure Roy here wouldn't have a problem with that.”

“No, let's do it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah”

“Well then Miss Sadie if you would follow me?”

Roy gestured past the counter and to a chair that resembled a dentist chair. Sadie climbed up, sitting back on the padded seat.
Matt pointed out that Sadie would have to take her shirt off so Roy could get to her chest. Thankfully she wore her cute bra, and the shop wasn't crowded.
Roy applied the stencil, and readied the ink colors and his tattoo machine.

“First tattoo?”
He could see the nervousness on the singer's face.

“Yep”

“Ok, I'll start with a small dot and then go from there.”

The machines buzzed as it made contact with her skin.

“You good?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

The needle stung, but not too bad. And true to word it was kind of relaxing. As she sat back Matt rubbed small soothing circles onto the back of her hand.

“So how's it goin?”
He asked, now wanting a tattoo of his own.

“Good, it's not too ba-mother fucker!”

A familiar pain seared through her chest, a flashback covered her vision. Seeing the knife, smelling the blood.

“Babe? Babe?!”
Matt's voice brought her back

“Shit I'm so sorry! Are you ok? I'm sorry! I hit the scar tissue, I can stop-”
Roy sounded panic and apologized profusely.

“No...no I'm fine.”
She took a deep breath, trying to slow her heart rate.
Matt walked over to the makeshift bar and poured a shot of Jack into a cup. Taking a sip and then handing it to Sadie.
She took a long drink then sat back

“Ok let's do this.”
Roy put the needle back to her skin, warning her when he got to the scar tissue. Squeezing Matt's hand harder when then pain became difficult.

“You know it makes you want to screeaamm”
He jokingly sang in a low tone, she giggled.

“Don't make her laugh man, I don't want this thing to look like a dick.”
Roy laughed
An hour later the tattoo was being cleaned off, the vibrant colors beautiful seemed to pop off of her skin.

“So whatcha think?”
Roy handed her a mirror, he positioned and shaded the mic in at the perfect angle to cover the scar.

“Its amazing!”

“Thanks Roy”
Matt shook his hand
“This was more helpful than you will ever know.”

Notes

Gun Powder and Lead link to song: https://youtu.be/yHGPmbu3QNk