Just Before You Go

When I awoke, I was alone. The bunk was darker than I would have expected—but it was a bit of a pleasant surprise. I grumbled to myself as I pulled the cell phone from my pocket. I’d napped atop of it and hadn’t even noticed—I must have been tired.
10:13
I was relieved to find I hadn’t slept the day away. With a push of the blankets and a pull of the curtain, I slid out of the bunk and planted my feet firmly onto the floor. The curtain to Brian’s bunk was still firmly pulled shut, so I was careful to be quiet in my movements.
I could feel the bus bumping along the interstate as I walked toward the guys. Only Zach and Johnny could be found, they had their noses buried in magazines.
“Morning,” I smiled to them.
Zach was startled.
“Morning,” Johnny replied happily.
“There’s coffee,” Zach told me, pointing lazily to a pot on the counter.
I loved coffee. I greedily pour a big cup and savored the scent that rose from the liquid and soothed my throbbing head.
“Where are the others?” I asked casually, taking a sip.
Zach shrugged.
Johnny responded without looking, turning the page as he spoke, “Sleeping Beauty is still in bed. Matt and Jim are in the back playing video games.”
“Ah,” I noted awkwardly. “Mind if I join you?”
Zach peered at me over the top of his magazine, “As long as you promise not to be loud like your boyfriend.”
“We had to feed him Xanax just so he’d talk at a normal volume,” Johnny told me.
I had a feeling that was an exaggeration but I understood the motive. I promised I’d sit quietly and so they granted me access to their little group. But my little plan was disrupted by the realization that all of my books were in my bag…which was currently stored underneath the bus. I pouted.
“What?” Johnny asked.
“My books are down below,” I told him sadly.
He let out a cackle, shaking his head, “Rookie mistake.”
“You put my bags away,” I reminded him.
“Oh,” his face fell flat. “Right.”
“Hey, remember that time you broke her TV?” Zach grinned from behind his guitar mag.
“Yeah!” I agreed loudly, my hands on my hips. “You’re inconveniencing me all over again!”
Johnny frowned, “In my defence, I didn’t know you needed any of your bags on board…You could have told me.”
“It’s okay,” I sighed, sinking into the seat next to him. “I’ll just die of boredom.”
“You’re being louder than I’d like,” Zach laughed. “Go bug Matt and Jimmy.”
“No! Go wake up Aurora!”
“Aurora?” Zach and I asked together.
Johnny scoffed at us, “You two seriously need to brush up on your Disney characters. This is a pathetic display.”
Zach shushed him, which seemed to bring silence back to the table. Deciding that there was no reasonable way to keep myself quiet and entertained without reading material, I retreated to the very back of the bus to find Jimmy.
I was astounded by the back of the bus. The whole thing was far bigger and grander than I’d anticipated.
“Hey, Aria,” Matt smiled at me as I slipped through the pocket door.
Jimmy’s tongue was hanging out of the side of his mouth, his body leaned forward as he maniacally button mashed.
“No! No!” Matt cried, rapidly hitting his own buttons. “Fuck!”
Jimmy threw his hands above his head, puffing his chest out as he cheered, “Oh yeah! Who’s your daddy?”
“Bullshit!” Matt groaned loudly, cursing the television.
Jimmy then turned his attention to me, smiling fondly as he dropped the controller onto the seat of the couch beside him.
“Hey, cutie.”
“What’re you guys playing?” I asked curiously.
“Mortal Kombat,” Matt told me. “But Jimmy fucking cheats.”
I smirked, “I believe it.”
“Hey!” Jimmy chuckled. “There’s no way to cheat at Mortal Kombat. You’re either the master or you’re not. And you, Matthew, are not.”
“You’re a gracious winner,” Matt teased with a whine.
Jimmy nodded excitedly, “I’m undefeatable! And I bet it’s killing you.”
Matt pouted, “It isn’t pleasant.”
“Can I try?” I asked casually.
They both looked at me oddly but agreed with a shrug. I slid between the two of them and got comfortable in the leather couch. Matt passed me his controller and reluctantly relaxed into the back of the couch.
Jimmy chose his character right away—I took my time.
“Katana?” Jimmy scoffed. “Lame.”
“No,” I thought aloud, moving the cursor over to the right.
Matt sneered, “Mileena? Really? Well, I’m calling this game in favor of The Rev.”
“I’ll go easy on you, babe,” Jimmy grinned at me as the television called out Fight!
Some people are pool sharks, others are card counters. I was a closet Mortal Kombat fan. Growing up with an older brother, I was forced into video games—but as an adult, it wasn’t something I felt compelled to advertise. I hardly spent any time in virtual worlds following college, but I’d made spare cash after class playing in small groups for prizes. I was undefeatable.
And I took the first round with little challenge.
“No need,” I retorted smugly.
Matt was in shock, his eyes wide as he watched Jimmy and I duke it out. Jimmy was invested now.
“Pause, pause,” he said as we went to start the second round.
He disappeared for a second but returned wearing his thick-rimmed glasses. He plopped back down onto the couch and adjusted himself accordingly.
“Okay,” he said sternly.
He was leaned forward, sheer concentration stapled to his beautiful face.
“Jimmy, your girlfriend is incredible,” Matt noted breathily, watching as Mileena leapt onto Scorpion’s chest and began ripping at his throat with her teeth.
Mileena was a bad ass character and I favored her highly. Katana was a good switch up in terms of females—Jade if you were feeling like a challenge. But Mileena was always my go-to; I’d learned all of her combinations and I found her fatalities to be hilariously grim to watch. The male characters were overrated at best.
“I know,” Jimmy grunted.
In no time at all, Jimmy was defeated and Scorpion had my daggers in his chest, which I’d delightfully kicked there. He stared at the screen with his jaw on the floor.
“Now who’s your daddy?” I teased happily.
“This…” Jimmy was in shock.
“Your girlfriend just kicked your ass, dude,” Matt cackled. “It wasn’t even a contest!”
“Fuck you!” Jimmy groaned. “You fight her! It’s…It’s fucking witchcraft, man.”
“Witchcraft,” I snickered under my breath.
“No problem,” Matt grinned confidently. “You beat me by a fluke anyway. So, now Aria can have a real challenge.”
“Oh, I’m so scared,” I teased.
Unfortunately for Matt, he met Jimmy’s same fate. Though, I will say that he put up far more of a fight than my boyfriend had. But Matt was devastated.
And a little impressed.
He went out and dragged both Zach and Johnny back with him, demanding that they try their best to put an end to be reign. They tried and they failed.
“You’re so fucking cool,” Jimmy grinned at me as Zach lost yet another round.
I shrugged, playing it off like I wasn’t totally eating up their adoration.
The bus creaked to a stop and everyone jilted from the halt. Matt glanced at his phone.
“Holy shit,” he laughed.
He thanked me for the entertainment and then led the others out from the back. Jimmy lingered behind with me as he shut down the system.
“Are we there already?” I asked, surprised. “That went by so fast.”
Jimmy nodded, “The trip to Vegas always flies by. But tonight will be an all-nighter, so…don’t get too used to the short journeys.”
“Noted,” I replied simply.
“Come on,” he smiled at me, gesturing to the doorway. “We should get out there.”
I followed him, nearly tripping over Brian’s head.
“Why are we stopped?” he asked in a grumble.
“We’re there,” I told him as I carefully stepped around his skull.
He muttered obscenities to himself as he pulled open the curtain. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Jimmy led me off the bus and into the dry Nevada air. I’d been to Vegas exactly once in my life and I’d been entirely underwhelmed. Granted, I’d gone with a group of girls and we were all dirt poor. This time, I was still poor…but I was with a group of party-hard rock stars. I knew it would be a huge departure from the experience I’d had.
Another bus pulled up behind us and it idled for a few minutes before finally ceasing it’s engine. Brian was smoking already, hiding in the shade of the bus with sunglasses permanently affixed to his face.
“I’m going in!” Matt announced. “Anyone else coming?”
Vague and monotone ‘no’s chorused through the group. Matt shrugged, disappearing into the venue by his lonesome.
From the bus poured the road crew. I recognized the Berrys right away, but they had no time for chit chat. They immediately began pulling out equipment and carrying and pushing everything into the venue.
“There go the roadies!” Jimmy called to them with a mischievous grin.
“I’m not a roadie!” Jason called back to him. “I’m an audio technician!”
“Roadie!” Jimmy called back happily.
Another two buses rolled up not long after, and a new conga line of equipment began rolling out and into the venue. I assumed this crew belonged to Haven, which meant that Blair Peterson must be in that other bus. Feeling more like my normal self for a second, I was giddy.
“Your girlfriend’s here,” Jimmy teased.
“Your girlfriend’s here,” I retorted playfully.
My eyes lit up as I saw her and Tyler step off the bus, Blair sipping at a bottle of water and Tyler using frantic hand gestures to explain whatever he was talking about.
“I thought she was Brian’s girlfriend,” Johnny noted, obviously eavesdropping.
Brian grunted, “I have a girlfriend, and I can assure you it’s not someone as lame and pathetic as Blair Peterson.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he’d done the classic foot in mouth move.
“You’re in trouble,” Jimmy sang before dashing away after Jason Berry, who spotted his chaser immediately and tried to get away.
“What?” Brian asked carelessly.
A throat clear caused Brian to nearly jump out of his skin.
“Lame and pathetic, huh?” Blair hissed. “That’s endearing. Thanks, Brian.”
To my genuine surprise, she turned back around and abandoned Brian there with his embarrassment. I’d expected more from Blair Peterson. I thought she’d have spat venom in his face or roasted him about his shortcomings…but instead…she was…Human.
Tyler shook his head at Brian before chasing after his bestie. The other guys from Haven began filing off the bus. Blair pushed passed them to climb back aboard, slamming the door shut in Ty’s face.
“Way to go,” I sneered at Brian, who was looking very guilty.
But he made no effort to apologize or to chase her down. Instead, he tossed his cigarette aside and lit a new one. The others went on as if nothing had happened—and maybe nothing had. This wasn’t exactly a far departure from Brian’s usual behavior.
With Jimmy terrorizing the crew and Brian having angered me, I decided to go check on Blair. Tyler had set up camp outside the bus door, but wasn’t making much of an effort to get inside.
“She okay?” I asked.
He waved me off, “She’s fine. She’s dramatic…but she’s fine.”
“He just woke up,” I explained poorly. “He’s hungover and—”
“You don’t need to explain, Aria,” Tyler shrugged at me. “It’s not your fault your friend’s an asshole.”
I frowned.
“How was your trip up?” he asked me pleasantly.
“Fine. I forgot all of my reading material in my bags…so…that wasn’t ideal.”
Tyler laughed, “Fuck, that wouldn’t be ideal. I brought a bag full of books with me and I’m pretty sure it’ll only last a week.”
“You read?” I gasped.
He eyed me weirdly, “No, Aria. I’m illiterate…Yes, I read.”
“You know what I mean,” I laughed, trying to hide the pink in my cheeks.
“Yeah, I read all the time,” he told me happily.
He brushed the hair from his face, and when he did my eyes fell on his wrists. There were blue stitches hanging out in a few places, but it was clear that he’d done some real damage. His eyes shifted to mine and immediately recognized my gaze. He dropped his arms to his waist, effectively hiding his wounds from view.
I knew better than to ask about it.
“What’s your favorite book?” I asked, hoping I could pass it off like I hadn’t seen anything I wasn’t supposed to.
“Animal Farm,” he replied simply.
I went to ask him what it was about, as I’d never read it, but we were interrupted by Hurricane Blair. She looked at me weirdly as she stepped off the bus.
It was my impression that her beef with Brian had somehow extended to me by association.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” she replied briskly, turning immediately to Tyler, “We should get in there.”
Tyler glanced at me with apologetic eyes but agreed to go with Blair. He waved at me before following his black-haired friend away and into the venue.
I stormed back to Brian, making sure to raise my voice loud enough to really pierce his brain swelling.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I demanded, a finger pointed in his face.
He scowled.
“Why do you always have to be such a fucking jerk to everyone?” I continued angrily. “Do us all a favor and shut the fuck up, Brian! I don’t know who you think you are, but I can assure you that you’re not as great as you seem to believe.”
“What’s going on?” Matt asked worriedly, pulling at my shoulder to separate me from Brian.
“Ask your stupid friend,” I growled, still glaring at Brian.
Brian shrugged, “I made a joke about Blair and she got all up in arms about it.”
“What did you say?” Matt asked callously.
“That she’s lame and pathetic,” Brian shrugged. “Because she is.”
I had a feeling that I was missing something.
“Just because she turned you down doesn’t make her lame,” Matt informed Brian. “Or pathetic.”
“She didn’t turn—”
“Yes she fucking did,” Matt howled with sarcastic laughter. “You know we’re friends, right? She tells me shit.”
“You’re my friend too,” Brian reminded him angrily.
“We’re going to be on tour with Haven for a long fucking time, Brian,” Matt spoke slowly and sternly. “If you can’t behave yourself, you’re going to fuck over the whole band. This isn’t about you, man. You’re acting like a fucking idiot.”
Brian rolled his eyes.
“You need to apologize to her,” he told Brian like a parent scolding a child.
“Never,” Brian hissed.
Matt took a step closer to his friend, dropping his voice even lower, “You’re going to apologize to her and then you’re going to erase her from your thoughts. Leave the poor girl alone, Brian. I fucking mean it. You have a girlfriend, don’t you? Torment her.”
Brian scoffed, tossing his cigarette away and pushing passed Matt, “Whatever.”
“Are they fighting again?” Jimmy asked, coming into the drama late.
The group all groaned a resounding yes.
“Brian being mean to Blair again?” Jimmy smirked.
“Yep,” I answered alone this time.
“That’s all interesting and everything,” Jimmy laughed. “But they’re calling for us inside…so…”
The guys all headed inside. Jimmy swung an arm around my shoulders, leading me toward the venue and alleviating my unsureness about what to do and where to go.
“So what’d Brian do?” Jimmy asked curiously.
I shrugged sadly, “Ruined our plan.”
“Eh,” Jimmy squeaked. “Maybe they just don’t like each other. Pick a different suitor and I’ll take up a new scheme.”
I tried to think of who else Blair had chemistry with. Matchmaking was the number one activity that Jimmy and I liked to lose ourselves in. It was always more fun when the drama wasn’t about yourself.
But I didn’t like what I’d come up with. Jimmy was smiling down at me, expectant of a response. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that the only other person I could really see her truly loving was…him.
“It’s Brian or no one,” I told him, swallowing down my epiphany.
“Oh,” Jimmy sang interestedly. “Like some soul mate shit.”
I laughed quietly, “Yeah, something like that.”
“They probably murdered each other in a past life,” Jimmy grinned. “That’s why they hate each other now for no fucking reason.”
“It’s not past lives,” I told him. “It’s sexual tension.”
He chuckled, “Well, I’ll be damned.”
I hoped that Blair was as much like Brian as I took her to be, and that they’d share their rebound rate for personal injury. I’d yelled at Brian and had him forget all about it within a day. Given that I hadn’t actually done anything to Blair, I hoped that I’d just been put on the receiving end of residual anger and that she didn’t totally hate me. I’d die if she hated me.
We’d all been together for exactly fifteen minutes and everyone was already picking sides with their guns blazing. I hoped that it would get better.
Jimmy must have sensed my disappointment.
“We’ll through a huge party on our bus after the show,” he told me excitedly. “Everything will be forgiven, don’t worry.”
I guess it didn’t matter that we were all worn out from the party the night before. If Jimmy had his way, the party would never stop. I told him he’d have to fill Brian in.
“Brian can live on the roadie bus for all I care,” Jimmy grinned as he pulled open the door to the venue to reveal the crew waiting impatiently for the band.
“We’re not fucking roadies!” Jason shouted, surprising us both. “We’re audio technicians!”
“Roadies!” Jimmy called back loudly.
At least some things hadn’t changed. Jimmy was still his pleasant self—and so far, I’d been right; everything had been better from the second we climbed aboard the bus. I was falling back into security with Jimmy and he with me. Maybe Brian and Blair were destined to hate each other, and Matt was doomed to a fate of unrequited love—unless some weird Shair-loving miracle Cupid came flying around—but I wasn’t totally sold that everything was written in the stars. There had to be some free will intertwined in it all, right?
My free will was mingling with my indulgence beneath the surface, unbeknownst to me.
It was going to be an interesting eight months.

Notes

God dammit, Brian!

xx