Makeshift Chemistry

A groan came from somewhere in the room as I turned over, hiding even further under the covers and the warmth it provided. Since I lived alone, I was pretty sure that groan came from me.

The house I lived in was silent, save for the noises outside. Cars zooming by every once in a while, the sound of birds chirping, music playing somewhere in the distance, busy California life. It wasn't as noisy as New York, but it wasn't completely silent either.

With another groan, I slowly opened my eyes, peeking out from the covers, only to squint my eyes in protest. It was light. All my curtains were drawn together, door closed, in my attempt to keep the room nice and dark.

Looks like I couldn't even do that right.

Rubbing my eyes, I squinted to see the alarm clock at my nightstand, the alarm clock I didn’t use anymore since I no longer had a reason to wake up early. It read 3:44 pm.

After staying up until 5 in the morning, I wasn't surprised. This was an everyday thing.

Turning over, I attempted to fall asleep again when there was a rather loud and obnoxious knock at my door. I groaned again, every knock seeming to pound into my skull and form a minute but still very noticeable headache. So that’s why I was up.

Ever since I got laid off right after that asshole broke my heart, these two idiots came over every day. I couldn’t wait for them to go back on tour with the band they worked with and leave me at peace.

Still, a small part of me was grateful for them. As annoying as they could be, they were my annoying idiots. Almost like brothers to me. They’ve been helping me get by, trying to get me back on my feet when all I wanted was to waste away in bed.

It’s too bad I liked to eat, and couldn’t ignore my stomach for long.

Like now.

A loud grumble sounded just as the knocking returned, louder this time, accompanied by shouting.

“HEY NIKKI!! OPEN THE FUCK UP! WE BROUGHT YOU PIZZA, YOU LAZY ASS!”

Once again knocking sounded. I sighed as I got up from bed, discarded laundry from the days before falling onto the floor as I put on my flip-flops and scratched my messy bed head, going to answer. I was still drowsy so I was pretty sure I was walking like a zombie. Opening the door, I was greeted with the two enthusiastic smiles of Jason and Matt Berry, and the strong aroma of pizza.

The Berrys were friends of my best friend, Samantha, who moved out here in Cali when she was still a teenager. We met in high school and kicked it off right away. But being bullied, her parents pulled her out of school and moved, leaving me to deal with school alone. I called her every night until social media came around and we could really talk. I even visited her a few times.

I was always so envious of her. She went from awkward nerd to beauty. The glasses turned to contacts, and when she did wear them she looked like one of those cute nerds. She had strikingly bright, silky long red hair. Light brown eyes. A beautiful smile. Perfect skin and complexion. She was short though, but I felt that just added to her beauty. She was curvy too. And she was talented. An amazing pianist. She could play guitar, bass and even the violin.

And then there’s me, short, curly dark brown hair, which could be very unmanageable and puffed up…a lot. Regular dark brown eyes. A shade darker than her in skin. Awkward. Middle height. And glasses that made my eyes look even bigger, so I refused to wear them. Not to mention I was a walking stick. My guitar skills were average. Then again, I haven’t practiced since I left New York. What I really wanted was to learn the drums, but I figured an uncoordinated cluts like me couldn’t make it very far. I knew a lick of piano but that was it as far as that was concerned. I mostly transposed classical music between piano and guitar.

I stood in NY with my mother until…things happened. Disagreements, arguments, etc. Eventually I couldn’t take it and called Samantha one night, telling her I wanted to disappear for a while, take whatever cash I had and just drive. Samantha invited me to stay over her old house since she now lives with her boyfriend. There was a surf and skate place hiring that I could work at until I got enough for my own house or another job. It didn’t sound like a bad idea. I knew a bit about skating, being a skater myself, so I pulled my own weight. My co-workers were cool and so were the customers who came. However, I wasn’t happy. It wasn’t…fulfilling. The manager wanted to make my life a living hell, but I managed to ignore her for a while. Eventually, they let me go. I was only there for 2 years but apparently I was a downer. Which I didn’t believe. They just hated me because they knew I was trying to leave for bigger and better things.

I always managed to keep myself busy to get by and ignore the pain in my heart, even smile and strike up convos with customers. I guess it was because I was different. I was a metalhead. No one ever accepted or wanted to understand us. So they just cast us aside. Ignored us.

That’s probably why Samantha was so excited to introduce me to the Berrys, even though I said it wasn’t necessary. But I’m glad she did. We hit it off really well. Metalheads are like a huge family. I guess that’s why she doesn’t mind when I sometimes blow her off to have a drink with them. She wasn’t a girly girl, but she wasn’t the metalhead type either. I guess she was just your typical person.

They worked for a heavy metal band named Avenged Sevenfold. And even though I’ve heard a few of their songs and liked them, I never got to meet them. The Berrys were always busy with touring and stuff, until recently. The decided to come back to Huntington Beach. Something about writing a new album or along those lines.

And so here I was. Grumbling to myself as I snatched the box from Matt, turning and leaving the door open so they could walk in. Opening the box, I pulled out two slices of pizza, putting the box on the kitchen counter as I grabbed the large bag of Doritos left there from last night and put a few inside, making a pizza-Dorito sandwich.

As I knew they would, the Berrys followed, grabbing a slice for themselves.

“Good afternoon to you too.” Jason said with a smirk, his long hair held back by the backwards cap on his head. He had on his favorite black muscle shirt to show off his tattoos and dark jeans. Nothing too fancy.

Matt laughed. “Good afternoon? Look at her it looks like someone fucking chewed her up and threw her around. She obviously just woke up. Did you even brush your teeth? And what’s with that pizza sandwich?” Like his twin he had his cap on, but facing forward like a normal person. He had on a black hoodie opened to show a Misfits t-shirt and black pants. Unlike his twin he didn’t have tats, or anything visible that I knew of, so he didn’t have anything to show. Except for that absolutely adorable lip piercing that I wanted to bite.

In a nonsexual way of course. I had a thing for piercings more than I did for tats. Since I was scared of needles I couldn’t get one, but I loved them. He was in my opinion the "cute one" being that he looked so damn young.

I gave Matt the bird as I took another bite of my pizza sandwich. He and his brother just laughed, enjoying picking on me like they always did. I didn’t see what was wrong, besides my hair which was most likely a nest I was wearing an oversized t shirt for GNR and a pair of sweats that dragged, hanging low so my panty line was visible. The t-shirt covered it, so they didn’t get any peep shows, not that I really cared. I trusted these two regardless, they knew better than to do more than look. I had a mean right hook. The good thing about being flat chested? They couldn’t tell I was braless.

After finishing my pizza, I grabbed 3 beers from the fridge and handed them each one. Opening mine, I swallowed the last of my pizza before speaking.

“So, what brings you two assholes here? I thought I’d be rid of you at least for a fucking day. Didn’t you have some issue with one of the tech guys to take care of?” I asked, taking a long gulp. It wouldn’t be enough to make me drunk but enough to numb me out a bit. I was never a heavy alcoholic but recently I did a lot more drinking than I ever have. Since I was skinny it usually went right through me. Although I’ve never gotten shit faced I hated feeling drunk.

Jason looked at Matt before speaking. I felt like I was missing something, but I ignored it. “Well, the issue is resolved. He quit. Now we have someone to replace him since it can’t be me, Matt and Danny doing all of the fucking work. We’re meeting with the boys to discuss it. And we want you to come along.” Taking a sip himself, Jason and his brother both watched me intently after another look at each other, their resolve dead-set in their eyes. They had a plan, I knew it. I could tell. These little shits.

They’ve tried to hook me up with Dan before, their other roadie. I mean, he’s a good guy. Awesome multi-colored red and black hair. Good sense of humor. And really nice body. But we didn’t really mix well. I needed someone who could take my sarcastic sense of humor and my crazy antics. Sure I was shy at first, but if you couldn’t bring me past that, or handle what was after that, then it wouldn’t work.

Jason says I didn’t even try because we had one date, but it was awkward. I knew he was trying to get me out of my shell but…we just didn’t click, you know? It was too soon for me I guess. I honestly don’t know when would be a good time for me to start dating again. He’s a good friend, though, we text every now and then, but that’s about it. Since then we haven’t hung out much, only around the Berry’s.

Sighing, I put my beer on the counter. “What if I don’t want to? I can just stay here. Or go to Samantha’s.”

“Isn’t she busy? No offense but it seems like half the time she’s avoiding you,” Matt said, furrowing his eyebrows.

I gave him the bird again. That was a low blow. I knew she probably was, she was the one who set me up with that asshole in the first place.

“Besides you’ve been locked up in your house for fucking months. We managed to help you get by this month but you need to get out. See the world. Interact with people. Who knows maybe you can take that position. Or even find a new love.” Jason said, pointing to me with the beer bottle before taking another swing. I snorted.

Being an engineer for a band was my dream. After my mom tried to force me to become an engineer, it was really the only other skill I had besides my love and passion for music and anything music theory related. I loved to play guitar but didn’t think I was any good. I was far from anything Synyster Gates level, and I only knew a bit of piano. When I got laid off, I used all the money I was saving for new guitar pieces and equipment so I could make my own guitar to pay the rent and bills, with some help from Samantha. But love? Please.

Playing around with my fingers, I mumbled. “I doubt that. I don’t really know them so it’ll be awkward. Besides I don’t think I know enough to be much help. As for finding someone, I don’t think I’m ready to move on again.”

Matt all but jumped next to me. “Ignore Jason. You know plenty. Hell, you taught us some stuff. We can teach you whatever you don’t know or what experience has taught us. The lead guitarist hates to change his strings, so I’m pretty sure you can handle something that small. You know guitars inside and out. Besides you don’t need to go out with people but come back to the world. The world is so much brighter with you in it.”

I shook my head, lowering my fingers and avoiding eye contact. How could I just pop up and say ‘I know nothing but the Berrys will help me help you’?

“Besides, it would be good to get your mind off that asshole.” Jason said, his voice going from pleading to deadly.

Hugging myself, I looked away, a sharp pain going through my heart. “I haven’t been thinking of him.”

Which, of course, was a lie. I met my ex soon after I moved in. He was a friend of Samantha’s boyfriend, John, and we hit it off pretty well. He was pretty cool and we got along, looking forward to each other’s company so we could ignore Samantha and John making out and stuff. Things were going well but one day…I guess he got tired. Told me he was done pretending to love me, even after all I’ve done for him. Not to mention he decided to tell me this on my birthday, and I got laid off a day after. And no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get over it. It was like a cloud over my head and heart, popping up at the worst times.

“Shit, Nikki. Don’t lie to us.” Matt said, looking me knowingly. “You know we care so were only trying to help. Ethan was an asshole. You were too good for him.” I sighed, defeated. They managed to open me up the first time we hung out. We were just hanging and a few beers later I was crying in Jason’s arms while Matt patted me on the back trying to soothe me. Ever since then these two have been able to read me like a book, both a good and bad thing in my opinion.

“Way too good. You don’t have to take the job, it was just an offer. Just remember it might be hard to get another opportunity. But we want you to go with us to meet them. Were just hanging today and drinking and I’m sure you could use more company than just us. If you can deal with us you’ll love them. They make us look like fucking saints.” Jason said, a huge shit eating grin on his face. He knew how much they annoyed me, but I loved them all the same.

“Really? Because you two make me want to pull my hair out, five more and I might just go crazy.” I said, a small smile forming.

“You don’t have to worry, Johnny and Jimmy are the only two who will give you shit.” Jason laughed, shaking his head. I’ve heard them talk about the guys before, so I knew the names.

Avenged sevenfold was composed of 5 guys. There was Matt Sanders, or M shadows, the lead singer. Synyster Gates, or Brian Haner Jr, Lead guitar. Zacky Vengeance, or Zacky Baker, rhythm guitar. Johnny Christ, Or Johnny Stewart, the bassist. And the Rev, or Jimmy Sullivan, the drummer. Matt and Jason always talked about how they wanted to introduce me to them. They left on tour before they got the chance, reduced to just telling me funny stories.

Crossing my arms, I sighed. I knew these two weren’t going to let me off that easily. I mean, they were right; I’ve been inside my house for months. I didn’t leave for anything. They had to bring me food and occasionally clean. The place was a mess, clothes everywhere, most in need of washing, trash over pilling, empty beer bottles everywhere. I was a mess. I was surprised they put up with me for so long. I guess they really cared. Both Berrys gave me their best puppy eyes, Jason pouting his lip out, making him look ridiculous in my opinion. I sighed, a smile on my lips.

“Jason you look fucking ridiculous. I’ll go as long as you never make that face again, you look stupider. And you guys drive.”

Jason and Matt laughed, pulling me into a group hug.

“It’s all for the better. Now get dressed and take a shower, you smell like a fucking wet dog, Nikki.” Jason said, letting me go and pushing me in the direction of the bathroom and walking to the living room.

“When was the last time you took a fucking bath?” Matt said, laughing as he pinched his nose.

“What’s today?” I shouted, going to my room for my things, since the bathroom I used was inside there too.

“Umm, Friday?” I heard Matt reply unsure.

“So then, since I got fired.” I shouted back snickering at their “eww” and “gross” reactions. It wasn’t true, but I didn’t shower for a while so it was the same shit. I heard the Xbox start up and knew they would be fine until I was done.

Laying out an outfit of whatever clothes were around and looked clean, which was just another too big Metallica shirt, and a pair of black jeans that I absolutely loved. They weren’t loose, but they weren’t tight either. They were perfect. Throwing out a clean pair of undergarments and socks, I looked for my vans (which were under the bed) and got everything together. First impressions were important, but the Berrys were lucky I was leaving my house; they knew not to push it by asking me to dress up.

After a quick rinse and scrub down, I walked out in a towel, another in my hand going through my damp curls. I could hear the faint sounds of Call of Duty going on in the background. I took hot baths, so walking out into a pretty cool room left me shivering; all the hairs on my body standing on end.

As always, I tried to keep my mind cleared of anything and everything as I got dressed, ignoring the old scars on my wrists. Instead, I focused on being a bit nervous to actually meet a heavy metal band. As a teenager I never was allowed to go to concerts. ‘Study first, fun later.’ I could hear my mom say, later meaning when I moved out. She kept me locked up for the most part. When I finally did move out, I didn’t go out much, simply because I didn’t want to. I was broken. And didn’t want to be a part of the world, let alone interact in it. I saw Samantha because she helped me and it was the least I could do. After I met Ethan I came out a bit more. Now that Samantha is busy with her own life and Ethan left me, I’m back to my old ways, locking myself away from the world. At least, trying to.

Ethan…I could just imagine his beautiful brown eyes. And his bright smile. They spoke more than I could ever know. It was like a view inside of his soul. He wasn’t the best person, temper issues; always bringing things the extra mile, but I thought he cared based on the way he would hold me and kiss me. It made me feel loved. And I let myself fall. Now all I’m left with is a hole in my heart. The girl he left me for was fucking stunning. I’d leave me for her too. I guess this is what happens when you loved too much.

I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts, my chest already aching and tears threatening to still. No. No more tears. Letting my hair loose and unknotting it with my wet bangs hanging on the side of my face, I deemed myself ready. Heading to the door, I could hear Matt and Jason’s voices talking faintly. I couldn’t make out their convo over the music of the game, but they sounded a little serious, like they were having one of their ‘discussions.’ Deciding that it was most likely brother issues, I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my keys, wallet, jacket, and phone and headed out of my room.

“Hey, Dumb and Dumber, I’m ready. Where did you say you were taking me to again?”

“We’re just gonna chill at the park. Have a few drinks and food. Maybe go to the bar or club later after I get Brian to rip off my fucking toenail again. I banged my foot against the drumset and-wait. Who’s dumb if you’re obviously dumber?” Came Jason’s idle response, coming up behind Matt and stabbing him in the back, causing the other Berry to shout “Fuck!!” loudly.

“Isn’t it obvious? Matt’s dumb, you’re dumber. I’m simply the one who wonders who dropped you guys on your fucking heads. Now can we go? I’d like to get this over with so I can go back to sleeping and wasting away.”

Both Berry’s paused as they turned to look at me. Jason laughing as Matt raised an eyebrow.

“Dude, you can do so much better. At least act like you’re trying to enjoy yourself…look…you have a mustard stain on your shirt! What the fuck man?” Matt said, pointing to where the stain was. I looked down, pulling the shirt and finding the stain. Yeah I needed to clean, badly.

“I told you she was going to make this hard, Bro. We’re lucky to get her to agree.”

Matt ignored his brother, simply glaring at me as I threw my hands up in defeat, “FINE!”

Quickly changing my shirt to a tighter but still breathable Megadeth shirt, I tossed the dirty shirt onto my bed, adding to the pile of discarded laundry on it. After making sure the jeans were ok, I walked out, holding my hands out for Matt to examine me. He rolled his eyes as he made his way to the door, Jason laughing as he turned off the Xbox and followed behind me.

*********
(Jason Berry’s POV)

The moment Nikki closed her door, I got up and pressed my ear to the door, waiting until I heard the shower turn on before turning back to my spot next to Matt on the couch and grabbing my controller, choosing my team and weapons in Call of Duty. The living room was just as messy as the kitchen, clothes everywhere, trash here and there.

I sighed. I hated seeing her like his. She was such a neat freak before, but I couldn’t blame her. Her life was never easy and it was just not letting up.

“Looks like we might have to force her to clean again,” Matt spoke next to me, like always, seeming to read my thoughts. I guess it was a twin thing. “My patience is wearing thin. I mean, I know she’s hurting but would it fucking kill her to try and move on? And with Sam moving back to New York in a few weeks we’re all she’s got.”

As the game started, I moved around, not really paying attention to the game since I was better than my brother. Shadows was the one who gave me a run for my money. And no one could beat Nikki at Mortal Kombat so far.

“Don’t forget how long they were together, Matt. I know it hurts her. Remember when you and your ex split? You were crushed. I mean, I don’t know, man. Maybe it will help when she finally gets another job. Anything at this point. Maybe the boys can make her happy. We managed to do it once; maybe they can do it this time. Especially Jimmy, that dude can make anyone laugh. Even though Samantha’s not around much anymore she has us and the boys. She knows we’re here for her.”

Matt chuckled. “Hell yeah, but remember he’s been a bit moody since we got off the tour. Apparently he and Leanna were going through issues and she got fed up with him. Left him for some other dude. They were having issues through the whole tour, so I’m not really surprised, just upset.”

I sighed. I hated to see him down, as rare as that was. “Damn, no wonder he wanted everyone to hang today. He needs it. I know how much he loved her. Between him and Nikki they love like no other. I asked Samantha and John to meet us so we could double the going away party and the Rev’s fucking after tour celebration, but they’re too busy. Not surprised though.”

I felt Matt turn to me and looked up to see him give me a look. I knew what he was thinking and paused the game, immediately trying to change his thought process. I looked back for a second to the door before turning to him, my voice a bit lower than before.

“No ok? No. After us trying to set her up with Dan, I prefer her find someone herself. We were lucky they managed to get passed the awkwardness and get along but if we try to set her up with the Rev it might not be that simple. We can’t just try to control her fucking life, she’s grown. She can look for her own boyfriend. If she and Jimmy hit it off then great. If not then leave them be, man.”

Matt didn’t say anything for a second, before letting out an exasperated sigh, looking back at the screen. I unpaused it and began our battle. After a while he spoke again. “I know man I just…I want to see them both happy, ya know? But I’ll back off. You’re right, we can’t control their lives. We might end up fucking it up more than helping.”

I didn’t say anything, giving my silent agreement. At that moment Nikki walked out, telling us that she was ready. Well, it was time to see if this helped at all.

Notes

re-upload! I'm alive. Couldn't get into my other account so I made a new one and decided to try to finish this. If you'd notice, I made some changes to a few names and edited this chapter a bit. The first few chapters will just be re-uploads until I catch up.