Almost Easy

Brian had left to go and meet his brothers at the airport. Jimmy was hanging around with the Berrys, I’d been busying myself in the back; in the midst of a new song. It had felt like an eternity since I’d been inspired enough to start scribbling out new lyrics. But I’d figured what better way to expel your demons than to use them to make beautiful music with.
Chris was strumming random chord progressions as I scribbled into my notebook. He stumbled on a series that perked my ears up.
“I like that,” I said to him, looking up from my words.
He nodded slowly, “Me too.”
He repeated the progression and we both looked at each other in revelation.
“New song?” I suggested with wide eyes.
“Apparently!” he beamed, grabbing a paper to write down what he was developing.
We stayed that way for nearly an hour; occasionally making faces at one another about bad fret choices. Brian disrupted us both, seemingly startled by our jolting heads.
“Interrupting?” Brian asked uncomfortably, walking backward a few steps.
I smiled, “No, but you scared me half to death.”
“Sorry,” he laughed. “What’re you guys doing?”
“Writing,” Chris and I said in unison.
“We don’t practice it,” I told Brian before he’d had the chance to ask again.
“Sure you don’t,” he grinned. “The guys are here if you want to come say hi.”
“I do!” I beamed happily. “We’ll take this up again later?”
Chris nodded but continued to strum at his guitar.
I followed Brian to the front of the bus.
“New song?” he asked me curiously.
“I think so,” I replied simply.
We stepped out into the daylight, which was mostly clouded over by the rainstorm that had moved in rapidly. Thunder roared in the distance.
The guys were passing bags to Jimmy, who was passing them to unseen hands inside their crew’s bus.
“What is this weather?” Zacky groaned.
“It’s going to ruin your hair,” Johnny teased.
Matt caught sight of me and jogged over to meet me halfway. Without warning, he pulled me into an extremely tight squeeze.
“Fuck am I ever glad to see you,” he said into my hair.
“Break it up, break it up,” Brian teased.
“Shut up, Gates,” Matt grumbled.
He pulled away, holding my hands out to the side so he could look me over. He pursed his lips at me.
“Looking a little thin,” he teased.
“I’m working on it,” I smiled.
“Brian called when it happened…” Matt started but stopped himself. “We’re all glad you’re okay.”
I was getting guilt tripped almost daily. I knew I shouldn’t be annoyed with people for reminding me that they had feelings; but it was never my intention to scare anyone. I was getting a little tired of being hung for it.
But Matt meant the best intentions so I just let it slide.
“Excited for tonight’s show?” Matt asked me as we headed for the rest of Avenged.
“Absolutely!” I beamed. “This is our biggest crowd yet. It’s always exciting to surprise everyone with you guys.”
“That is exciting,” he agreed, jabbing my rib with his elbow lightly.
“Hey!” Zacky shouted when he caught sight of me. “It’s the living dead girl!”
“I’m not—wait, what?” I laughed as he suffocated me into a hug.
“I’m glad you didn’t die,” he said awkwardly.
“Zacky,” Johnny warned, “you can’t just casually talk about people almost dying. It’s rude.”
“Hi, Johnny,” I waved as Zacky relinquished his hold on me.
He bowed.
“Tonight will be good,” I decided aloud, my eyes finding Brian leaning against the Avenged crew’s bus. He was eying me up like a piece of meat.
“Let’s get settled before we have to be at check,” Zacky instructed everyone.
“We have to steal your man for a bit,” Johnny told me with a frown. “Will you survive?”
“Now who’s being insensitive!” Zacky called to his friend.
Johnny’s face shifted, “I never said you were being insensitive; I said you were rude. You know what…”
They argued all the way into the bus until they’d disappeared and I couldn’t hear them anymore. They sure were a vein of light in this otherwise gloomy day. Brian winked at me smugly before climbing onto the bus and away from me.
I decided I wasn’t willing to sit on my bus any longer. I’d had about enough of my band for a while. Instead, I headed into the venue to check out the digs. It was massive. There were people running frantically around everywhere.
Standing next to the stage and looking out into the empty seats, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I would have lost this. I would have lost all of this.
I opened my eyes and climbed into a middle row seat in the crowd. With my feet planted on the seat ahead of me, I leaned back and marveled at the stage. I tried to imagine what I must look like performing. What it was like to see me through someone else’s eyes; through a fan’s eyes.
This venue really got to me. It slugged me in the face to remind me how lucky I was; how ungrateful I’d been.
“Are you psychic?” Justin’s voice startled me. “Or are we secretly sharing the same brain?”
I turned my head to find him standing there with a giant paper cup in his hand. He had a stupid grin plastered to his face.
“I was just coming to do the same thing,” he told me as he climbed into the seat next to me and stretched himself out.
“It’s cool,” I said absently. “Our life.”
“Yep,” he nodded, slurping at his straw.
“Do you know what’s weird?” I asked him without actually looking at him.
He was silent.
“We were never friends,” I finished casually.
He looked at me, “What do you mean? When?”
“Ever,” I half-laughed. “I hadn’t exactly joined your band because we were buddies. I always thought you hated me.”
“I never hated you,” he shrugged, looking back down to the stage. “I just wanted to fuck you.”
I grimaced which made him laugh.
“Okay, first of all, don’t make that face. Second, the mood has passed, don’t worry. You’re like a sister to me.”
“See! That,” I concluded excitedly. “That’s what I’m saying. How did it get to be like that? When did we become friends?”
Justin looked at me weirdly, “You think about weird shit. No wonder you tried to off yourself.”
“I didn’t—” I sighed. “It wasn’t on purpose.”
“It was freaky,” Justin told me, making weird hand gestures. “We were all sure you were a goner.”
“Can I ask you a weird question?”
He scoffed, “When do you not?”
“If I had died,” I hesitated, “Would you guys have continued on without me? Not necessarily with the tour…but in general.”
“Nope,” he said without giving it any thought.
“What do you mean nope?” I challenged him. “I hate that.”
“Two in one year?” he said seriously, giving me the side-eye. “No way you can come back from two in one year.”
“I guess.”
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, putting his hand on top of mine for a quick second. “If you’d died…I would have cared.”
“That’s nice,” I laughed.
“Tyler,” he said after a moment of silence. “That’s when we became friends.”
He looked sorrowful. His eyes had sort of darkened and his expression was less wild than it usually was.
“Tyler?” I asked confusedly. “You didn’t like me when Tyler—”
“I don’t mean when Tyler convinced you to join the band,” he cut me off with an awkward laugh. “You’re right, we were never really friends. You were sort of the outcast—which was fine because you’re absolutely the reason we got signed.”
I tried to argue but he cut me off before I could start.
“We’re all mediocre at best,” he continued. “Except Ty. Tyler was a fucking legend. But you? You could have been a pop star if you wanted to be; you would have been successful, no question about it. You were like our golden ticket to the chocolate factory.”
“Thanks, I think,” I said quietly.
“It isn’t like we all hated you,” he said, sensing my discomfort. “You just…were different. For obvious reasons. But Ty thought you were cool so we were cool with it too.”
Justin had actually thrown a fit the first time I showed up to a practice in John’s parents’ garage. He mocked my clothing, he mocked my hair color; he mocked everything about me. Relentlessly.
That is, until they were finally organized enough to let me sing overtop of their rhythm. Justin mostly just tolerated me after that. Even he couldn’t deny that my voice had fit in with their sound quit swimmingly.
We’d never bonded. John and I were the closest, beyond my obvious relationship with Tyler. But even that was mostly superficial. It didn’t feel that way anymore. It was like some giant shift had occurred and no one had even noticed.
“When bad shit happens,” Justin continued his thought process. “People come together. It’s like a herd mentality, you know? You don’t leave anyone behind. We weren’t going to just leave you behind.”
I looked at Justin then, who’d never looked sweet to me in his entire life. He was pompous and excitable and almost always rude. He was always picking fights and saying inappropriate shit. But in the split second, he looked almost gentle.
“Thank you for saving me,” I said lowly.
He looked confused.
“That night…in the bathroom,” I paused. “I never thanked you for breaking the door down…for getting me out of there…”
“Hey,” he interrupted softly, putting his hand on mine again. “Don’t mention it.”
“So,” I faltered, trying to lighten the mood that I’d brought down in the first place. “I’m like a sister to you, huh?”
“Yeah, like a really hot sister,” he teased, taking his hand away one last time.
“That’s really gross, dude,” I scoffed. “You can’t say that about a sister.”
“We’re not biologically related,” he argued seriously. “That makes it okay!”
“It absolutely does not!” I continued.
We argued about it until the other started filing in for sound check. They gave us a series of strange looks but no one actually asked what we’d been doing—I assumed everyone else had done it at some point too.
“Have fun being weird?” Brian teased me, kissing my cheek quickly.
I looked at Justin who was getting settled behind his kit, talking to his tech. He looked like his regular asshole self again but I couldn’t help but feel a little more connected to him.
“I did,” I answered Brian, my eyes finding his once more.
“Ready to have more fun?” he asked excitedly as he pulled one of his guitars onto his body.
Mona was adjusting the pack in his back pocket.
I was in marvel of my life. My eyes wouldn’t leave Brian—he was so fucking beautiful. He looked effortless as he talked to Mona and started to pick away at his strings, nodding at her about something.
“Hey!” Jimmy screeched in my ear.
I jumped, “Jesus, Jimmy.”
“Did you know that I get to play tonight?” he grinned like a child.
“I’d heard something about that,” I teased.
“Tell Justin to hurry up,” he told me. “I need to go kick some pedals, Blair.”
I giggled, “Tell him yourself!”
As Jimmy ran off to yell at Justin, and Justin subsequently yelled back. I was ready to take on the show. And watch some Avenged—mostly Brian.
“What is this life?” I asked myself in awe.
“Blair! Let’s go!”

Notes

Stable Blair is the best Blair.

But serious question for everyone as this tour reaches it's halfway point.
Are we breaking them up or what? I'd like to conclude this story at some point and I have an idea already of how to continue it in a sequel. I'm pretty sure I can make it work either way but I'm eager to get your opinion! I'm just the monkey chained to the keyboard.

So let's take it to a vote, shall we? Are we breaking up Blair and Brian? Are we keeping them together?

Comment below!

xx