Sadie's POV

I barely slept last night. I tossed and turned. In the ten hours I'd been in my bed, I must have woken up six or seven times. Not for that long each time, but enough to break my sleep into un-refreshing chunks. With every disturbance there was a different thought keeping me awake just that little longer. I want a coffee but the caffeine will put me over the edge. Instead, I irritably slurped my orange juice sat at my kitchen table, waiting for the usual 9.45AM leave to drive to work. After my long night, I'd been waiting for the morning for so long that I barely believed my eyes watching the sharp rays of sunlight peak through my Venetian blinds, the chorus of birds singing over the rush hour traffic almost made me finally want to drift off into a full sleep, but not for another 12 hours, if I manage to sleep this evening that is.

My sleep pattern had been messed up completely since Jacob began his acts behind my back. I'd wait up for him, to which he never showed. I'd go 2 or 3 days with only a few hours sleep, it had such a long term effect on me. Since he was arrested, I had been simply to scared to fall asleep. I feared I'd wake up and he'd be next to me and I'd have nobody to shout out to for help. Last night was different. I found myself obsessing and thinking about what my mother and Brian were doing. It unsettled me so much, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. I hated the thought with a huge passion. Their presence together, as a couple, buzzed around me like a fly that would not swat. Eventually, it reached the time to leave for work. Working is the only thing I seemed to enjoy and that took my mind from the complicated life I seemed to be having at the moment. Work, and music seemed to work wonders too.

I threw my lunch bag and my handbag into the backseat of my silver Ford explorer. It was 10 years old now, but I'd never been a girl to be fascinated with buying new cars. It got me to work and back, which is the only place I seemed to travel for the past few years. It was only a 10 minute drive, even shorter if the traffic was kind enough. I was really looking forward to being at work today, listening to my favourite music and interacting with interesting customers who were much like me and used records and CD's as an escape. You think you're crazy until you talk to someone with that in common. I think it was why I enjoyed having Brian over last night, it was so natural for both of us and I found it so fascinating to hear about his career and his music interests. Another thing that played on my brain a lot during the night, how my mom had the opportunity to hear that, over and over, whenever she wanted - and she probably wouldn't appreciate it.

As I pulled up to the pebbly parking lot of my record shop, there was a large black Rover parked directly in front of the double doors. I'd never had a customer waiting for me before, I was usually hanging around waiting for them to visit.

Eagerly, I hurried out of my car and jogged to the door, fiddling my keys to find the right one. As I slid the key through the lock, the customer got out of their car hungrily.

"Need a hand?" they said. I turned around sharply, and Brian was resting on the bonnet of his car, finishing off a cigarette with the return of his dark aviator shades. I felt a sense of relief rush through my body. The tension that had kept me up for almost 10 hours straight melted into nothing, completely nothing.

"Brian," I sighed happily. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come and hang here, see what the fuss was about" he puffed his last drag out from his lips and threw the cigarette on the floor, de-lighting the stump with his giant boots. He popped a small piece of gum in his mouth, took a brown paper bag from the front seat of his car and headed towards me. I gave him a smile, and opened up the store doors. He gave an impressive whistle, standing back with his hands on his hips, rotating his head to and fro, admiring the records. "Ho--ly shit!" he took a giant sniff and sighed it back out. "I miss the smell of dusty records"

"Isn't it the best," I giggled. I moved behind my cash register to turn the lights on for the whole store, I also turned the electric on. "You want a coffee?" I asked, knowing already he was the same coffee addict as I was.

"I got us a coffee, actually" he pulled out a cup holder from the paper bag and there was 2 cups ready for us. "I- asked your mom what you drank," he handed me over the favourite flat white. I felt so- noticed.

"Oh- thank you- so much" I smiled.

"Well- I don't know about you but I'm diving straight in" he beamed.

"Metal section is right there," I pointed to the collection nearest to the door. He ran over like a child running for ice cream. I slipped the AUX cable into my phone and hit shuffle on my work playlist, first song to play was White Wedding by Billy Idol. It wasn't on overbearingly, but it was loud enough to enjoy. His grin was humongous as he flicked his fingers through the lines of vinyls, and I couldn't take my eyes from him. Brian laughed, his deep chuckle lifting the spirit of the empty room, as he picked up an album which must have brought back memories. His face has a softness even when it came to rest.

'Crush' was such an infantile word, one that must have been invented by older folks, the ones with an interest of belittling young love. Teenagers had crushes, it made them feel gooey, fragile, and completely obsessed. I was ashamed to admit, that this in fact was me. How could I not be attracted to this man? Today, his hair wasn't spiked, it rested over to one side, it looked so effortless. Before I knew it, the shiny studded leather jacket came off. His searching was clearly getting intense. I knew the feeling. As the jacket fell from him and was tossed away, it revealed what almost made me faint. His grey vest revealed his slightly muscular arms, covered with colourful tattoo's, weird aliens, patterns, swirls - I could only just see the strong green veins running through his forearms and down to his continued tattoo'd hands.

"No way!" he exclaimed, instantly snapping me out of some sort of crush hypnosis. He pulled out 'Sonic Brew' by Black Label Society, in bright orange. "No fuckin' way!" I wandered over with a huge smile on my face, seeing people get so happy looking through my years and years of collecting made me considerably happier. "Jimmy had this." He'd told me about James the night before, it was so clear how much he had influenced him.

"I'm stunned nobody has had that yet," I smirked, standing next to the tattoo'd man. Today, I could smell cologne on him, but it wasn't over bearing. It was faint, it made you want to lean in closer to understand the smell of it. He just stood, admiring the record, not saying a word. Almost expressionless.

"I gotta get this" he eventually spoke.

"You wouldn't take money yesterday, and you bought me a coffee this morning- just take it, I really want you to have this," I gestured. It was the least I could do.

"No," he snapped. "I'll buy it"

"I won't accept the cash" I laughed. "Please take it"

"Thank you- so much," he sighed with a huge smile. "That's so great of you" his arm gripped around my body and he pulled me in tight. A small 'oh' escaped from my mouth unexpectedly, as he kissed the side of my head with force. He quickly let go from his grab and resumed admiring the vinyl. He definitely just gave me a dad kiss.

"You're welcome" I cringed, walking away from him.

I was getting ahead of myself. I was almost angry and disgusted at myself for having a childish crush on this man dating my mother.

But oh. If you could have seen him. You'd know how hard it just to let it slide.

"So, another reason I came by actually- my friend Johnny is having a BBQ party tonight, I know it's short notice, I thought I'd pass the invitation along to you" he suggested.

I thought briefly. A party. I needed to get out, but I couldn't face hours of my mother clinging onto Brian's arm. "Did my mom make you ask me?" I asked worryingly.

"It was my decision to invite you.." he began. I sensed a 'but'. "However,- it was your mom's decision to-" he stuttered uncomfortably. "She-"

I frowned. "Spit it out?"

"She wanted you to meet someone-" he cringed. There it was. My heart could have just spilled out in front of me, I groaned long and hard, he followed. Only my mother. "I know- I know it's stupid- I don't want you to meet someone either-" he stammered. I raised an eyebrow to him. "Not- at a party anyway, not with one of my friends"

"One of your friends?" I questioned, followed by an even larger groan. "Is she out of her mind?!" He didn't sound too hyped about the idea either, but that didn't make it better. I wasn't ready to meet anyone, let alone Brian's friend- but if I didn't turn up my mom would make a complete idiot out of me and drag me along. I know her.

"His name is Zacky, he's a great guy- honestly" he hesitated. "He's just got out of a tough time, maybe you two can- get along" Brian shrugged, grabbing his jacket up from the dusted pile of records. "Look I'm sorry, I didn't wanna have to ask you but your mom wouldn't, she'd really like you to be there-"

"Maybe" I snapped. "Thanks for the coffee." I hinted, hoping he'd sense the tone and leave. It had grown too uncomfortable for my liking after he dad kissed me and set me up with his best friend. He sighed and slid the jacket through his arms, tugging it restfully.

"Hopefully, I'll see you there-" his mood had turned into oblivion. He seemed irritable, snappy, sharp- just like me. "Thanks, again." And with that, he stormed out of the shop and sped away in his rover.

I felt almost lost about what had happened just then, like a ball of tangled yarn. His mood swerved so suddenly along with mine. The constant mess feels endless and I feel stupid to have seen a glimmer of hope with such a wrong person.

Notes

I'm away for a few days from tomorrow, can't guarantee an update while I'm away but I will try! So eager with this story! Comment your thoughts, don't forget to suscribe if you like what you hear!